Chapter 46

Demons.

A term used to describe all races that are not favorable to humanity. It was an extremely self-centered term, but since they also formed a tribal alliance system, it wasn’t exactly a misnomer.

“A creepy presence…”

There were few demons that Penelope would describe as such.

The lord of the vampires. An immortal and cunning nuisance.

The Dragon Queen. A pest that spewed poison, fire, frost, acid, lava, and whirlwinds—everything harmful. A temptress who toyed with me until the end.

The monstrous bird. A beast that could have wiped us all out if it weren’t for Camilla.

The Queen of Succubi. The worst vermin, capable of manipulating souls and taking over bodies.

The King of Beasts. A foe so massive that even I had to fight for days and nights.

The King of the Dead. A formidable enemy who could shoot arrows faster than sound from over 500 kilometers away.

And while there were a few others, the most intense presence was…

“That older brother…?”

Rizel spoke to me with a worried face. It seemed she had escaped from Camilla, who genuinely agreed to the assassination plan, and His Majesty, who jokingly agreed.

“What kind of person is the Demon King…?”

At that question, Penelope and I momentarily froze.

“A creature I never want to face again.”

“A nightmare that should never have existed.”

An enemy so strong that even thinking about it made my hands tremble.

Even a faint appearance in a dream would be enough to call it a nightmare.

A madman who forced all the other demons, skeptical of war, into battle through sheer strength.

“Rosie is not the type to join forces with them, Your Majesty. She hates demons as much as I do.”

She hated demons as much as I did, and I hated demons as much as she did. It might sound redundant, but there was a huge difference between the two.

“Even so, if she has allied with demons… and if they are demons that even I find unsettling… that’s not something we can overlook.”

“Please, show mercy.”

“…I can’t understand.”

“She’s a woman who lost her beloved sister. Trying to understand her feelings…”

“No. I’m talking about you, Raul.”

I couldn’t understand the words “I can’t understand.”

I always tried to be considerate when speaking. Even if the other person wouldn’t listen, I never spoke so poorly that they couldn’t understand.

I might have earned hatred or ridicule, but I never said anything incomprehensible.

“Why do you protect people who hate you?”

“……”

“Even I, His Majesty, and Camilla all like and cherish you. Maybe even more than ourselves.”

That was true. Despite being a worthless man who could do nothing for them, they gave me so much.

“So why do you protect those who have only hurt you? While we, who are on your side, are worrying ourselves sick for you.”

“That’s…”

I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

It was a plain fact that I had protected Rizel, Mother, and Rosie over my own allies.

I couldn’t lie, I wasn’t the type to make excuses, and avoiding eye contact wasn’t proper either.

So I chose to remain silent. Like a sinner who had accepted everything.

“Raul.”

Her Majesty, who dislikes silence, called my name. It was clear she wanted me to say something before she got angry.

“…I have no excuse.”

“It’s not about making excuses, it’s about explaining your reasons.”

“It’s guilt.”

I killed Rizel’s fiancé. If I had faced Rizel and talked to her, it wouldn’t have come to this.

I failed to protect my father’s deathbed. If I had done better, I could have been there for him.

I killed Rosie’s sister, my other half. If I had been stronger, I could have protected her.

“I… am the worst kind of person who has no right to judge them.”

“Older brother…”

“Raul…”

“It’s painful.”

I don’t even know why I’m like this.

It felt like Her Majesty’s words had dug out what I had tried to hide.

“It’s unbearably painful.”

The world where I faced Rizel.

The world where I could have done better.

The world where I could have been stronger.

The “what ifs” were so vivid.

Even though I had repeated a million times that “what ifs” are meaningless, I couldn’t erase their clarity. No matter how much I tried to blur my vision, the vividness of those countless “what ifs” tormented me.

“It’s so painful I can’t breathe.”

That’s why I went to the frontier to forget.

To breathe a little easier. To blur those “what ifs” a little. To shake off this pain a little.

“I am a mediocre person who can’t be anything. That’s why this pain won’t go away.”

I couldn’t be a selfish person who only cared for my loved ones.

Nor could I be a hero who acted for everyone and ignored the pain that came with it.

“…Raul. If I said you did nothing wrong, that would be deceitful. Unlike His Majesty, I’m not round enough to unconditionally affirm that you’re right.”

Her Majesty tightly held my hand.

“But I’m not cruel enough to say that your situation is just.”

That warm hand wasn’t that of the Empress ruling the Empire,

But of my friend Penelope, with whom I had trained and fought, sharing dirt-covered bread.

“People are mostly mediocre beings, Raul.”

Even after all these years, those eyes still sought to guide me on the right path.

“So don’t blame yourself. That’s not wrong. In fact, it’s proof that you’re not leaning to extremes.”

“Is… that so…”

“Those who lean too far to one side are mostly trash, aren’t they? Whether their ideology is right or wrong. So there’s no need to be ashamed.”

If that’s the case… do I still have worth?

Do I have the right to be happy?

Can I enjoy what little life I have left?

“…Thank you, Your Majesty.”

“We’re friends, aren’t we? You should say ‘thank you,’ not ‘thank you, Your Majesty.'”

“…Thank you, Penelope.”

Just a little. Just a little, but my heart felt lighter.

It felt like a tiny breath of air had come through a needle hole. I still couldn’t breathe easily, but the sunlight coming through that small hole was incredibly bright and warm.

“I think I’ll head back now.”

But since it felt awkward to return to the Berze Family Mansion, I had to take a carriage with Camilla back to Duke Argos’s residence.

By the way, Duke Argos’s residence was always stunningly magnificent. The building itself was modest, but the elite soldiers guarding it and the protective magic surrounding the mansion were priceless.

“Safer than the Imperial Palace, even.”

“Well, you’re safest by my side, aren’t you? Considering the woman who wants to bother you.”

“I cut off her arm and wings in battle. She won’t recover easily.”

“Don’t you know lizards are good at regenerating? Considering what that lizard did to you…!”

“It was the battlefield. A place where some evil is tolerated.”

Camilla’s brother also supplied the army by plundering demons. He didn’t prefer it, but he didn’t shy away from it either.

“By the way, do you think your sister can handle it?”

“I’ll prepare some insurance, but I’m sure she’ll do well.”

“Insurance?”

“I plan to prepare about thirty strategies in case she fails.”

“That’s not trusting her at all.”

We continued our conversation inside the mansion, protected by numerous layers of protective magic.

“Her Majesty said she felt a creepy presence from the woman claiming to be the victim. If Her Majesty feels a creepy presence, then…”

“It must be a high-ranking demon… right?”

“Since we don’t have concrete evidence yet, we can’t just barge in and deal with it. It’s troublesome.”

“We can strike after the trial. Just in case, take the soldiers you just saw with you, and that should be enough.”

That was reassuring.

Even if Camilla alone might let the enemy slip away, the soldiers under her command likely wouldn’t. The power of a group is far greater than expected.

“By the way, what’s the purpose of all this complicated maneuvering? They could have just brainwashed Rosie from the start.”

If she had been brainwashed, we would have known the moment we saw her.

But she was fine. As if nothing had ever happened.

“She’s too strong-willed to be easily brainwashed. And there must be some other purpose. Something that would be problematic if she were brainwashed or controlled.”

What could that purpose be?

We never figured it out.

Not even by the day of my father’s trial.