Chapter 43

If you play with your dick, you’ll get dicked. I don’t remember where I read it, but I recall reading such a phrase. Indeed, books are the guiding light of humanity. If only I had followed that light sooner… Damn it, I followed my lower half and ruined everything. If only I had held back a little, pushed her away right then, or not gone all the way… What’s the use of regretting now?

I tried blaming the demon of lust that tempted my lower half—no, me—but in the end, it was my fault. I went ahead and slept with a woman, so now there’s no turning back. Ah, damn it, I did it. The sensation of being with a woman was definitely pleasant. I could somewhat understand why so many kings fell into this and ruined themselves. Rather than dealing with stinky old men and their political nonsense, it’s better to just mess around with a concubine. Of course, doing that leads to the downfall of a kingdom or getting your head chopped off.

“My husband, is there something bothering you?”

“Uh… we haven’t even had the engagement ceremony yet, let alone gotten married… Could you refrain from calling me that in front of others?”

“Is there something uncomfortable?”

I wondered if she was genuinely asking. Glacia is smart, but her loose screw is her flaw.

“People might think it’s strange if they hear it.”

“Hmm… I suppose that’s possible. But I can’t call you my wife, can I? Lord Werner, from a distance, you look so slender and delicate that one might mistake you for a woman.”

Damn it, that’s not the point.

She casually touches on people’s insecurities, huh? If the original Werner heard this, he’d probably cancel the engagement and throw a fit. But I’m a gentleman with the magnanimity of the sea. I was willing to laugh off this level of rudeness. At that moment, my rationality protested, saying, “A gentleman wouldn’t break up with a woman like that.” But didn’t my rationality say it? I’m a *British* gentleman. I’ve simply inherited the conscience of a nation that sells opium and starts wars. That’s what being “British” is all about.

But Glacia, being very “British” herself, placed her hand on my lips and said, “But you don’t need to worry about others.”

What kind of nonsense is this? Whether it’s Confucianism, Jesus’ teachings, or Buddha’s teachings, they all emphasize living harmoniously with others. But telling me not to care about others? What kind of heresy is this? If she were a man, I’d have comboed her with a Confucian punch, a Buddhist slap, and a New Testament kick. But since it’s against chivalry to hit a woman, I held back.

However, Glacia, who had just gone against the teachings of the three great sages, looked at me with a very serious expression. Her red eyes came closer to mine.

“I am now a Duchess. As such, I bear many responsibilities, but I’ve also been granted many rights.”

Ah, that’s right. Didn’t Uncle Ben say it? “With great power comes great responsibility.” In other words, “Those with great responsibility can probably get away with cutting off a few heads of people who annoy them.”

“But who would dare to give us, who bear such great responsibilities, any trouble?”

“But even if they don’t say it, they’ll still have their thoughts.”

“Then I’ll change them.”

Changing others’ thoughts? That’s just like that pig from the north. Maybe if you write “Winterheart” in Chinese characters, it’s 金 (gold)? Damn, is the Winterheart family like that? Ah, so that’s why Glacia’s father, Melchior, liked shark fins. I was about to consider changing my name to “Snow Lord” when Glacia spoke in a serious voice.

“I will eliminate all actions, words, and thoughts that disrespect you. I’ll make sure everyone is too afraid to even hint at such things or harbor them in their hearts.”

“Sigh… Lady Glacia, even a god can’t change people’s thoughts.”

“Then I’ll become a demon. If anyone acts, speaks, or thinks disrespectfully toward you, I’ll kill them all.”

“Why do you need to go that far? Not everyone has to like me. I was a promising sorcerer, but… as you know, not everyone liked me.”

Many praised and adored Werner, but just as many pretended to respect him while secretly speaking ill of him behind his back. Werner, with his unusually sharp hearing, caught every word. At first, he tried to ignore it, but after a certain incident left him unable to use great magic and scarred him deeply, hearing those insults turned him into a thoroughly twisted teenager.

“If you become my husband, no one will dare to be rude to you. I’ll be by your side.”

“I was originally the youngest of the heroes and a great sorcerer. Everyone trembled before those titles.”

Werner didn’t need marriage to be in a high position. He could change the attitudes of those in front of him, but not the thoughts of those behind his back. And that wasn’t going to change just because he got married.

“I remember what you said when we first met. People only see Werner’s magical talent, and without it, you’re nothing.”

“…You remember all that?”

Honestly, I came here before the short story about their first meeting was published, so I don’t know. If she says so, then it must be true. What can I do?

“You don’t need to be the youngest of the heroes anymore, nor do you need to be a sorcerer.”

“What do you mean…?”

“Even if you’re no longer their youngest, even if you lose your magic… you’ll always be my husband.”

Glacia gently kissed my forehead. And from her lips came a voice more serious than ever.

“I chose Werner Alten, not the youngest hero or the Archmage, as my husband.”

It seems Glacia isn’t the communist tyrant from the north I thought she was. Her love is just a bit heavy.

But for a moment, I thought, “So, you’re saying I’m not a hero or an Archmage, just a comrade worker named Werner Alten?”

—

The inside of the ceremony hall was surprisingly modest. It was said to be a remodeled old cathedral, which apparently suited Melissa’s taste. When I heard the location yesterday, I joked that old people like old buildings, and I almost got hit with blood magic. Of course, Glacia then drew her magic sword and clashed with her mother. Watching that scene, Melchior laughed heartily, saying it had been a while since he’d seen such a harmonious family.

This family is definitely insane.

I really wanted to see Heavenly Demon Yeonggang. He’s a bit eccentric, but with him around, he wouldn’t let this chaos continue. Unfortunately, except for Camellia, Melchior, and Melissa, the rest of the comrades are with Zick. Melchior and Melissa are also planning to leave after the engagement ceremony.

I received a simple makeup session in the preparation room at the back of the ceremony hall. I don’t know if it’s a first-time thing or a rule of this world, but even men get light makeup for such occasions. They also fixed my messy hair without a second thought.

Then, they dressed me in proper attire, complete with an expensive-looking brooch.

If you add up the makeup, the clothes, and the brooch, it’s probably worth two years of an average adventurer’s income. What a severe oppression by the bourgeoisie! If I weren’t Glacia’s fiancé, I’d have stormed out and started a proletarian revolution right then. I was quietly muttering, “Adventurers of the world, unite!” when the door suddenly opened.

The people who entered were Melchior and Melissa. Given the occasion, they were dressed more neatly and dignifiedly than usual. Melissa wore a modest wine-colored dress instead of her usual gothic lolita style, and Melchior was in a tidy black suit.

“Wow, that really doesn’t suit you.”

“Our youngest has grown quite bold since living apart from his sister.”

“At your age, wearing gothic lolita is just tacky…”

At that moment, a spear made of blood grazed my cheek.

“I don’t want to kill anyone on my daughter’s engagement day, so I’ll let it slide, youngest.”

Melchior silently patted my shoulder and left the room. Truly, Brother Melchior. Remember this well: tanks are the light, and DPS are the scum.

But as soon as Melchior left, Melissa smirked and said, “You slept with my daughter, didn’t you?”

Damn, did she notice?

“Well~ Adults can do that. It’s not like it was forced or anything.”

Then Melissa whispered in my ear before leaving, “So, youngest… if you make my daughter cry, I’ll kill you, okay?”