Chapter Thirty-Six: A Day on a Rest Day – Part Two
After putting away my corset, I began rummaging through my wardrobe again, pulling out a court-style dress to change into. I walked over to the mirror and examined myself, tying my hair up in a ponytail before letting it down again. Returning to the wardrobe, I switched to a halter-neck dress with contrasting colors, then went back to the mirror to check how it looked. I made a few cute gestures before changing into a bohemian long dress… I repeated this process many times.
Suddenly, I realized that almost all of the clothes in my wardrobe were beautiful dresses, with jumpsuits and long dresses being the most numerous. Some of them, I couldn’t even remember when or where I bought them.
But that didn’t matter.
What mattered was: taking out each dress one by one, trying different styles, seeing what looked best… This process made me feel particularly happy.
Especially when I wore the elegant gowns sent by Victoria. When I saw the image of a princess-like figure in the mirror, my heart would race as if I were a little girl filled with joy—those dresses were simply too beautiful. I wanted to wear them out immediately, but at the same time, I was afraid, worried that they would attract too much attention, making passersby unable to look away. I hated being stared at like that, and I didn’t like feeling constantly watched.
So I wanted to wear them, yet I didn’t want to.
Under this conflicting mentality, whenever I played around wearing these gowns at home, I couldn’t help but think: “Hmph, when I’m in a good mood someday, I’ll dress up to the fullest and surely shock everyone… But now I don’t feel like it, so you won’t see me at my best… You just wait…”
When I came to my senses, I realized that this mindset was similar to a child who has a cool toy and wants to show off to friends, but doesn’t want to share it, feeling conflicted yet happy.
Because of this, I generally don’t choose eye-catching dresses, hats, or jewelry when I go out. I prefer to dress more simply. Of course, even simple clothes must be stylish and comfortable—this standard, even in such simplicity, was already a luxury for wealthy families and even noble ladies. Common girls’ clothing was mostly made of coarse linen, which Victoria had made me wear on her birthday. Whether it looked good or not aside, the material was definitely uncomfortable.
In fact, when I first arrived in this world, still living in a small village, I wore those coarse linen dresses. Back then, I felt indifferent towards these things. Of course, I liked pretty and comfortable dresses, and I was naturally happy when I could wear them. But if I couldn’t, there wasn’t much I could do about it.
But now, I might never regain that carefree feeling.
It’s not that I can’t wear those uncomfortable and ugly linen dresses. Actually, I could wear them for one or two days, or even three to five days without any problem. But if I had to wear them for three to five years, or even a lifetime, completely losing the pursuit of certain things, I… probably couldn’t accept it.
I am no longer the village girl from a year ago, seeking only basic needs.
A year later, many things have changed beyond recognition, turning me into a completely different person—a girl who grew up in a cold castle, pampered excessively since childhood, who loves sweets.
I clearly know these changes.
For example, in the past, aimlessly trying on clothes and then not wearing them would seem like a waste of time to me. I would feel anxious about wasting time, spending very little effort on food and clothing. I preferred to spend my time on socializing, negotiating business deals, handling company affairs, and even less time with my fiancée.
Now, I have long lost that mindset. Even those memories have become distant, like clouds that fade away from sight.
I have grown accustomed to and gradually accepted these changes.
By the time I came to my senses, I realized that I had spent nearly two hours trying on dresses, but I still felt unsatisfied. I wanted to make myself look beautiful. The attraction of this endeavor even surpassed the joy I once felt playing games and doing dungeons with my brothers.
But happiness also has its limits.
Sometimes, I am grateful that some deep-seated qualities remain in my body, such as ambition, courage, persistence, and most importantly, self-control. These excellent qualities are deeply rooted in my soul, urging me forward, rather than turning me into a spoiled lady who cannot endure hardship, can only see a limited path, and seeks only wealth and stability.
So even if something makes me happy, I will stop at the right moment, put away all the dresses, change into clean pajamas, and return to the table to continue reading.
I read until I finished an entire plate of Captain Gray, drank four glasses of milk, and felt hungry again, so I went downstairs to the kitchen. I took a bag of peas I bought yesterday, sliced carrots, and boiled them together in water. I placed them in a dish, sprinkled salt, vinegar, cumin, pepper, and almonds, then drizzled some sweet sauce, salad dressing, and milk. After thinking, I added some mayonnaise, stirred slowly for a while, and found the smell wasn’t quite right. So I added some ginger and mint, mixed everything thoroughly, and made Paielot’s nutritious pea meal.
After serving it on the tea table, I cautiously tasted a bite… surprisingly, it was quite good?
After lunch, the temperature gradually rose. It was too hot in the manor to focus on reading.
So I repeatedly went to the terrace to spray myself with frost mist to cool down. After several times, I got annoyed and uncomfortable. The soft fabric of my pajamas became stiff when touched by the frost mist, causing discomfort and a damp feeling. Although it didn’t affect much, it really bothered me.
I frowned and thought for a while, then ran to the bathroom, filled four buckets with water, and placed them in the corners of the bedroom. I dipped my hands into the water to freeze them, then used Sinful Fire to melt the ice around my palms to easily remove my hands.
After freezing the water in the buckets, I lay on the bed for a while but didn’t feel any cooler. So I went to the neighboring house No. 2 to borrow a basin. I met a maid named Sharman, who brought over a dozen basins, which I filled with water. I arranged them along the walls, froze them using the previous method, washed the used dishes downstairs, and condensed countless fingernail-sized ice balls into a dish. I carried it back to the bedroom, feeling a noticeable drop in temperature, and happily sat back at the desk to read while eating the ice balls like candy.
In the afternoon, I started feeling bored with the book, my eyes aching. The outside temperature had dropped slightly. I washed a few dirty clothes, dried them, put on my shoes, and went to the courtyard to breathe in the fresh air, tend to the flowers and plants, play with the fountain, and chase butterflies without catching them. When I felt sleepy, I went back inside, grabbed a recliner, brought the Dragon典 (Dragon典), and found a shady spot among the flowers to continue reading and inducing sleep.
When my eyelids started to droop, I found a comfortable position, placed the book face-down on my chest, closed my eyes, listened to the birds and insects, and slowly fell asleep.
Sometimes, moments like these alone were a kind of enjoyment for me.
I enjoyed that sense of solitude, undisturbed, as if the whole world was just me, free to do whatever I wanted. When I felt tired or sleepy, I could close my eyes and dream freely, waking up looking forward to the day when dreams come true.
Today, I had a dream.
It was a vague yet beautiful dream, but unfortunately, upon waking, I could hardly remember anything about it.
The dusk arrived slowly.
After waking up, I rushed to the mailbox at the entrance and found a new message.
After receiving the message, I hurried back, kicked off my shoes, jumped onto the sofa, bounced up and down, wriggling to find the softest spot. I sat cross-legged, unfolded the message in front of me, searching for the content I cared about—on the front page, the largest headline read: [First Victory at Mossy Coast, Capturing Numerous Heretics, Knights Raise Swords in Celebration].
The article was long and detailed, but the gist was:
[…]
The rest of the article continued in detail.
The Church had won, successfully repelling the terrifying heathens at the coastline and is currently interrogating the captives. The tense situation in Zilgaya has eased, and the monks and priests have begun praying and blessing across the country to sing praises for the victory.
Frankly speaking, the way this article so easily described the victory gave me the impression that when the heathens came, the Church knights simply pushed through, defeating them head-on. It’s obvious that this was intentionally created to highlight the disparity in strength to showcase our power and invincibility, aiming to calm the people. This is a common tactic used by the Holy Church, but the victory was described so lightly that I couldn’t help but doubt it.
Would it really be that easy?
A few months ago, Teresa alone caused a great upheaval in the entire capital city. If she were given enough manpower and even troops capable of fighting against the Church knights, how terrible would things become? I dare not imagine it.
The Gate of Truth is evil, yet their strength is undeniable. If there were someone as fierce as Teresa or even more ruthless during this coastal war, could the Church still easily win?
Thinking about it carefully, it seems there is a possibility.
According to Angel, besides the over ten thousand troops from two knight orders, many monks, priests, and even bishops were dispatched from various places. Added to this are the two Papal Knights who joined the fight. With such a lineup… winning against a group of invaders from the Eastern Continent, even if they truly had senators among them, seems reasonable.
So…
Did they really win?
If they did win, then everything is for the best.
I hope everything goes smoothly.
My mind was in turmoil as I flipped through the report. On the second-to-last page, I found an urgent report about the Valen Empire.
[On the evening of May 13th, the long-simmering civil war within the royal family erupted. Led by Duke Scalliger, the Sinter army, along with a thousand cavalry from the new city of Carlie, launched a surprise attack on the Eagle City. The next day, the city fell. Lord Londor, surrounded, fought until he was exhausted and died. The Winter City captured a strategic stronghold of the empire, issuing a surrender notice to the surrounding twelve cities. Cherils City may face the threat of cut-off supply routes. The subsequent development of this siege will determine the course of the war…]
Although the report was brief, I read it over and over again.
It’s hard to say whether I feel heavy or relieved.
Valen Empire… the war that started because of me has finally begun.
But…
In the first battle, my father swiftly captured a city, and it was the key city of Eagle City, which connects the north and south of the empire. Once this city is occupied, it’s almost like cutting off the connection between the North and the palace. As long as Eagle City is held, one can gradually break through the cities under the palace’s control from the inside of the North. Not long after, the North will belong to my father.
If the palace loses the North, it’s almost equivalent to losing most of the empire’s productivity. Defeat is just a matter of time.
Unlike the battles at Zilgaya’s coastline, the Church report wouldn’t lie about the internal war in the Valen Empire. The short text clearly stated the facts without any embellishment. I wouldn’t doubt the authenticity of the message, and it was precisely because of this that I felt increasingly shocked.
Father is really amazing…
After the shock, came an unprecedented sense of relaxation and peace.
I don’t understand military matters, but I’ve seen the map of the Valen Empire. I understand what capturing Eagle City means. Regardless of how the civil war unfolds in the future, at least after this battle, Winter City will no longer have to worry about anything. As long as Sinter Castle remains safe before the palace regains control of Eagle City, Father is truly remarkable.
When I’m silent…
Once I act…
It’s earth-shattering.
Originally, I planned to go to the church tonight to ask Angel about these two matters. But now, it seems less urgent.
I read the report from beginning to end, word for word, and felt a sense of relief. Humming a song, I went upstairs to my bedroom. Folding the report, I put it in the cabinet beside the bed. I lay down on the bed, tossing and turning until dusk, when the light outside turned yellow, and my emotions gradually calmed down.
Counting the days…
The goat cheese should be back soon, right?
When it returns, I’ll see what Mother says. I need to write a clear question in the letter…
I lay on the bed for a long time, feeling that I couldn’t continue reading today. So, I started thinking about dinner. There was a plate of Captain Gray left in the kitchen, which I saved for Ellie. Because yesterday, I promised her I would make doughnuts for her today. I kept waiting for her to come.
I also wanted to tell her about the news I just heard.
But it seemed she wasn’t coming…
After a while, as the sky outside gradually darkened, I got up and walked to the terrace, watching the last lingering sunset.
As the clouds drifted, the hazy twilight slowly dissipated, and milky white smoke rose from various parts of the city. Longdor Street remained quiet, except for the occasional passing rhinoceros cart and patrolling guards. It was rare to see anyone else—Longdor Street was often so quiet that it made one feel empty. At this time of day, naturally, there wouldn’t be any little girls in nun’s robes around.
But I waited until the sky was completely dark before returning to the kitchen of the mansion, bringing out the last plate of Captain Gray to eat for dinner.
Sometimes, the time spent alone feels like a kind of enjoyment.
But more often, especially at night, my heart is filled with endless emptiness, making me particularly low-spirited.
I hate that feeling of being abandoned by the world. Even if I pull open the curtains and leave the door wide open, all I hear is the ticking of the clock. There’s no one to share happy moments, no one to confide in sad ones. Victoria isn’t here, Carlos isn’t here, neither are my parents or brothers. I talk to myself in front of the mirror, playing with myself, doing everything alone.
Especially after the last great war, I regained my memories from dreams. Whenever my mood is low and I can’t sleep at night, I always think of my parents in the empire, the forest behind the castle ten years ago, and my brothers taking me to the snowy mountains.
I remember Uncle Hoover, Aunt Bella, and Uncle Pagos. I was always afraid of him, but never dared to tell my father.
I also recalled the famous cake shop in Winter City, where Sister Freya runs the business with Grandpa. I remembered her waving goodbye to me with a bounce. I thought of her name…
I remembered many unfamiliar names and faces. Those faces that weren’t familiar before are now all clear to me.
I remembered many, many things from when I lived in Sinter Castle and Winter City, the things I did with some people. I remembered that as a mischievous child, I only dared to cause trouble at home. Whenever I met strangers, especially those with fierce appearances like Uncle Pagos, I acted like a frightened rabbit. Therefore, I never dared to go to the Central Workshop, thinking it was full of people without shirts, like a bandit den.
Thinking about these things made me feel sad, wanting to go home… and realizing more and more that I am a young girl who is about to come of age but is not quite there yet.
If not for the two-year gap in my memory and the incident three years ago, perhaps I would still be enjoying life in the castle, waiting for the day of adulthood and marriage.
In three months, it will be my birthday…
Will this body…
still grow?
At least the chest…
should grow a bit more…
May the gods bless us…
…………
The night grew deep.
I sat on the recliner on the terrace, looking over the brightly lit house number two, eating Ackri fruit in my hand.
House number two was full of shadows, faintly showing people moving by the windows and courtyard. The maids seemed very busy, and I didn’t know what they were busy with. I didn’t see the golden-haired figure. Even if I felt bored, I wouldn’t go over to look.
Suddenly, a bird flew low over the house. I caught it with a flash of dead smoke as it flew overhead, satisfying my momentary desire.
Time flowed quietly.
Soon after, I finished eating the Ackri fruit, returned to my bedroom, washed up, and although I wasn’t very sleepy, I climbed into bed, extinguished the candle, closed my eyes, and waited for sleep.
Little Ellie never came.
