Chapter 40

The moment I regained my senses, two things immediately caught my eye.

[You’ve escaped a life-threatening crisis! Your strength slightly increases!]

The notification window that appeared every time I went berserk.

[Your faith has increased!]

For some unknown reason, a notification claiming my faith has increased. These two pieces of information were the first things I noticed.

On top of that, there was a massive mound nearby. I don’t know why the mound is visible, even if the notification window isn’t.

It’s so large that it casts a huge shadow over my face as I lay right beneath it. What on earth is this?

‘Having a soft head is strange, too…’

With the notification window alongside the gigantic mound in view, my thoughts were a bit foggy.

Last time I fainted after going berserk, Eli’s face was the first thing I saw.

Judging by how my head feels soft, it seems like a bed, but I have no idea what the mound right in front of me is.

My eyes aren’t blind. I could fully recover with regeneration, and if I were blind, I wouldn’t have been able to see anything at all.

As I slowly started retreating from my hazy state, I gently lifted my arm. Then, I grasped hold of the mound that was blocking my view.

Squish—

I thought it would be hard enough to cover my entire face, but it was quite the opposite. I’ve never felt something so soft.

The moment I grabbed it, my fingertips sunk in, and if I were to bury my face in it, I wouldn’t be able to escape.

‘My hands can’t even cover it all.’

Just as I was having that thought—

“Eek!”

A woman’s startled scream pierced my ears. The sound came from above the mound.

I sluggishly blinked my eyes, turning my head. Even so, I didn’t let go of the mound.

Eventually, I could see a very familiar face peering over the mound. A beauty with brown hair and golden eyes.

“Si, Sivar? A-Are you awake?”

It was Eli. For some reason, her face was a bit flushed, and her expression seemed strange.

It was as if she was trying hard to suppress her embarrassment. I couldn’t understand why she had that expression.

Squish-squish—

By the way, this thing is really soft. I kept fiddling with the mound even though I was facing Eli.

Initially, I held it with one hand, but now I was using both hands, poking and prodding at the mound.

The size was so large that it couldn’t be fully held, and it changed shape as I touched it. The moment I let go, it instantly returned to its original form.

“Ugh… Hmm…”

But why was Eli making such odd sounds? I glanced over and saw her turning her head while her eyes were shut.

Her face was bright red, and her mouth was tightly closed, as if she was forcing herself to hold back something.

Suddenly—

“Eli. What was that sound…?! Wh-What are you doing?!”

Just then, someone burst through the door and shouted in surprise. Hearing that calm voice confirmed it was Luna.

I turned my head towards Luna’s voice. For some reason, she was striding towards me.

Thud!

She grabbed my arms and forcibly pulled me away from the mound. The softness disappeared from my hands.

Wanting to touch it a bit more, I resisted, but Luna was determined to stop me. Why is this happening?

“You can’t just touch a woman’s chest indiscriminately! That’s sexual harassment, sexual harassment!”

“?”

Luna’s outburst froze my thoughts momentarily. Before even thinking about sexual harassment, I apparently just touched a woman’s chest.

I blinked at that statement and then shifted my gaze back to the mound.

Now that I think about it, there’s no reason for Eli’s face to be above my head.

Unless she wasn’t looking down at me.

“I-I’m fine. Luna. It could happen.”

“What do you mean, it could happen… Haa. Just get Sivar up.”

“Alright. Sivar? Let’s wake up now.”

Eli gently stroked my head and kindly urged me.

That’s when I realized. Eli was giving me a lap pillow.

What I thought was a soft mound was actually her chest. I’ve been slow to notice because it was too large.

“Why were you just lying there? Sivar always listens to what you say.”

As soon as I stood up from Eli’s soft thigh, Luna threw some shade. It was aimed at Eli, not me.

I may not have known anything (?), but it would indeed be strange for Eli to just sit still.

Eli shot me a quick sideways glance, still with a face as red as a tomato, then replied with a sheepish smile.

“S-Sivar knows nothing. I was worried he might get hurt if I scolded him…”

“That’s true, but sometimes you need to reject things firmly. What if you do that with someone other than Sivar?”

Does she think I’m a real pervert? I pouted my lips.

Though I really want to keep touching Eli’s soft chest! I would never do that with anyone else.

I can somewhat exploit the fact that I’m a wild person, but I also despise acting trashy. Only a beast would do something like that.

“You need to let others know not to do that. Except…”

“Except?”

“…”

Eli didn’t respond immediately. Her face turned even redder, and she was sneaking glances at me.

As Luna raised a questioning brow at her perplexity, Eli finally stammered a response.

“I-I’d say I’m okay if you want to touch my chest.”

“…What? What? No, what?”

Luna had a look of disbelief at Eli’s bombshell declaration. That’s only natural.

I’m really curious about how they came to such a conclusion.

I mean, I’m happy I can legally touch those chests (?), but it would look incredibly awkward to anyone else.

“Sivar doesn’t understand society yet. So, you probably don’t know much about the law either. You shouldn’t touch a woman’s body indiscriminately.”

“…True.”

“Before Sivar causes any trouble, I’ll let him only touch my body. That way, we can reasonably prevent accidents, right?”

“…”

Luna’s jaw dropped at the miraculous logic. She looked dumbfounded, clearly at a loss for words.

I felt the same way. While I maintained a poker face, I wondered why she was going so far.

“…Do we really need to go that far?”

“I suggested bringing Sivar here, so if he causes trouble, it’s on me.”

The responsibility argument she made to Kara. She was genuinely trying to take responsibility for me.

For some reason, Luna didn’t have another retort ready and fell silent. Then she gave me a sideways glance and quietly spoke.

“What if Sivar asks for more? What if he asks to see instead of just touching?”

“Would you show?”

“Oh. Really?” I almost exclaimed. Of course, it’s still absurd.

Luna frowned, placing a hand over her forehead as if in disbelief. She seemed to be contemplating whether she understood things.

“…What if he asks for even more? Would you grant that?”

“Probably, yes.”

“Do we really need to go that far? While it prevents accidents, it seems too…”

“You saved my life; this much is the least I can do.”

Just as Luna was about to voice her frustration, Eli cut her off.

Referring to the incident of being saved from Manki. It seems like Eli is willing to forgive me for just that.

“Sivar is my lifesaver, and I just want to repay that. So if I take responsibility for Sivar, don’t you think he would understand the importance of responsibility eventually? That’s how I see it.”

“You…”

“I know it sounds overly optimistic. But I’m sure of this: Sivar doesn’t hurt people for no reason. Whether it’s physical or mental.”

Eli’s cheerful nature shone through her words. Luna wore a conflicted expression as she listened to her.

Eli’s statements weren’t wrong in the slightest. Until now, I’ve simply minded my own business unless someone attacked me.

I’ve caused accidents here and there, but I’ve never directly harmed anyone.

“…Alright. If that’s how you feel.”

“Thanks for understanding.”

“But please refrain from touching breasts. Others will think it’s strange.”

That’s a no-no. I silently cried out in my heart.

Fortunately, whether my thoughts were conveyed or not, Eli responded with an embarrassed smile.

“Got it. Then I’ll only allow it when there are no other people around.”

“…That’s not what I meant.”

“Or would you like to take my place, Luna?”

“No.”

That wasn’t Luna’s answer. That was mine.

The two of them, who had just been watching me, stared at me with wide eyes when I finally spoke.

To be honest, I was quite flustered since I responded without thinking. It felt like instinct had taken over reason.

“…Sivar. What did you just say?”

“I clearly said no, didn’t I?”

“What do you mean no? Do you perhaps dislike Luna’s chest?”

“What’s wrong with my chest?! I’m not exactly flat!”

I didn’t say anything at all. It must’ve been a hidden trigger because Luna yelled back fiercely.

I compared the disgruntled Luna with the calm Eli. It was obvious that Eli won this round.

Did she feel the weight of my gaze? Luna’s face turned crimson and her lips pressed together tightly.

“Men are all beasts…”

“Of course, male animals are beasts.”

As Luna grumbled while sitting on the bed, a familiar voice entered my ears from the direction of the window.

Turning towards the window, I saw Porori standing there.

He had an acorn wedged in his armpit, which looked like he picked it up who knows when.

“Don’t be too mad, blonde lady. I don’t know the standards for humans, but apparently, a lady like you is definitely a beauty. So you can definitely entice that guy enough.”

“What on earth did you hear? That’s not it at all.”

“Really? I must have misheard it. Oops.”

Porori lightly jumped onto the bed and stuffed the acorn into his mouth. He wasn’t eating it right away but seemed to be storing it in his cheek pouch.

Then, with his puffed cheeks, he opened his mouth fluently.

“That red-haired lady will be here soon. The useless muscle guy will come a day later.”

“How’s Hector doing?”

That was Luna’s question. Not just her, I was curious too.

The last thing I remembered was Hector pressing an axe against my chest. That’s as far as my memory goes.

After that, I probably went berserk. Hearing we’re in a hospital means he’s not dead.

“Besides some damage to his shoulder and face, he’s fine. That useless dude has pretty quick recovery speed for a human. Quite lacking compared to this guy, though.”

“Oh, I see. So Hector almost died?”

“That part is true. If I hadn’t intervened, he would definitely have died.”

Porori’s testimony made Luna turn to look at me. Her expression didn’t seem to believe it.

Eli, on the other hand, remained collected, taking it all in as it was.

“…Sivar in a berserk state is that strong?”

“He’s incredibly strong. Much stronger than when I last fought him. Maybe it’s because that red-haired lady taught him some skills?”

“So Hector’s concerns were indeed valid.”

As Luna pointed out, Hector’s worries hit the nail on the head. The moment Sivar goes berserk, everything around him turns into chaos.

But the fact that it was so sudden was the issue. He could’ve very well lost his own life.

“However, I don’t understand why that guy did such a foolish thing. If he was going to do something, he should’ve done it properly. Being indecisive makes him look ridiculous. The Ruin King? More like the Awkward King.”

Porori accurately pointed that out. Right now, Hector is caught in a foggy place.

It means he is experiencing significant confusion regarding his identity. He founded Tartar, yet the savage nature still resides within him.

His identity as a king and the chaotic essence of the Ruin King. Lastly, with Kara managing to hold his center together.

If he awakens, he can balance both strength and composure, but for now, he just seems to be an ineffectual distraction.

‘Didn’t he say he was living a life full of regrets day by day?’

As much as I can recall, that’s the case. Hector is quite an intriguing character.

To secure the safety of his tribe, he should pursue a life of a “civilian,” yet the “savagery” remains a problem.

But erasing that savagery completely would wipe out his tribal identity, causing backlash.

For Hector, it’s a situation where he can’t really do either. He has steadfastly endured with his strength, but Tartar is riddled with problems.

“The old man says he’ll bring that guy here tomorrow, but I really don’t know. For now, it seems like the situation is resolving well, so don’t worry too much.”

“Okay.”

“Got it.”

“And you.”

Porori called out to me. I faced him, whose cheeks were stuffed.

“As I said before, do something about that damned red eye. I’ll be busy from now on, so I don’t want to also deal with your troubles.”

If this person—no, this squirrel—is being serious. I’m the wronged victim here.

Had it not been for Hector, I would have just peacefully attended the academy. He was the one who initiated the attack, after all.

“Busy?”

That’s why I asked what he was busy with.

Originally, I could speak in fragments, but now I’ve linked my words together.

It seems this is due to my faith increasing. Still short, but I’m sure my intentions reached Porori.

“What? You can talk now?”

Porori’s eyes widened in surprise at my question. This wasn’t just a reaction from Porori; it seemed to be the case for everyone else too.

It looks like they didn’t notice when I answered “no” just a moment ago. It probably flew by so quickly.

“Anyway, that guy told me. If I offer tributes not daily, but at certain intervals or on special days, the powers given to me from above will grow stronger. That’s why I am like this.”

“Hector told you?”

“Yeah. While I don’t know about other things, that particular piece of information is pretty good. I’ll need to offer more things other than acorns in the future.”

“Sivar. Do you want to try saying something now?”

While Luna and Porori were conversing, Eli asked me for something. Seeing her eyes shine excitedly made it seem she was hoping for something.

I had no reason to refuse her request, so I eagerly spoke up.

“Eli. I…”

“Yeah. Yeah. And?”

What should I say? As I was about to speak, I couldn’t seem to think of any words.

Just then, something that caught my attention was Eli’s big chest.

It was a part of her that proudly showed overwhelming presence compared to others. I wanted to touch it once more.

“Chest.”

“…Chest?”

Was it because of that? Or was it just my instincts that were pushing me forward?

I accidentally let the word ‘chest’ slip out loud. Eli was caught completely off guard.

Thank goodness I didn’t go as far as to say “let me touch it.” If I had said that, it would have been a disaster…

“Are you asking to touch my chest?!”

“…”

“You also recognize a lady’s softest part? It’s indeed quite addictive.”

That damn squirrel. I wanted to sew that mouth shut right away.

In the meantime, Eli’s face turned red from Porori’s translation of my words. She silently wrapped her arms around her chest.

Luna, unsure how to react, could only let out awkward laughs, and at that moment, Eli shot a significant glance in my direction.

Then she made a statement that would shock everyone except for Porori. There was a hint of expectation in her voice.

“…You’re only going to touch, right?”

“Eli!!!”

“Eek!”

Seeing that, Luna finally exploded in a yell. Eli shivered at her reprimand.

Then came Luna’s lecture soon after. Porori, watching the scene, tilted his head and asked me.

“Humans shouldn’t touch each other? Why are they reacting like that?”

“…”

“What difference does it make if you just let them touch that fleshy mass? It’s not like it’ll wear out or anything.”

For once, we were in perfect agreement with each other.

******

“Well then, I think I’ll take my leave. Prepare to bang your head against my door tomorrow.”

Thud—

As the hospital door closed, a serene silence settled in. In the hospital room, only Hector, the patient, and Kara, who guarded him, remained.

It was a scene where the situation had completely flipped in a day. However, Hector’s condition was even worse.

Not only were the muscles in his shoulder torn, but his face was also in shambles.

His nasal bone and facial bones were crushed, and the corners of his mouth were sharply torn.

Luckily, the academy had the means to fully heal him; otherwise, he would be left with aftereffects if it had happened anywhere else.

“…”

“…”

“…Are you feeling a bit relieved now?”

Breaking the heavy silence, Kara was the first to speak. She looked at Hector, whose face was wrapped in bandages.

Her expression seemed to blend both anger and sadness, a very complicated one.

Following that, she spoke with a sarcastic tone.

“It must be nice. You confirmed that Sivar has berserk abilities, and we’ll be giving you that damned axe. So it’s all over, right?”

“…”

“If it’s all over, at least say something. You can still speak, can’t you? Has your father become mute like Sivar?”

Kara raged on, pouring words like a waterfall. Hector simply stared at the ceiling.

His silence only fueled Kara’s anger further. It wasn’t just disappointment; anger overshadowed it all.

Hector had changed somehow. He was no longer the person she remembered.

“I can understand that you became a king. It was necessary due to the strength of neighboring countries, so you had to handle it through diplomacy.”

“…”

“But this is neither here nor there. While it was unexpected that Sivar was stronger than imagined, did you really need to go that far?”

Kara’s reasoning was undeniably correct. Hector established a country to avoid creating unnecessary enemies, but he unwittingly created one for himself.

A foe he couldn’t even handle, at that. Sivar would surely perceive him as an enemy.

To Kara, it would be infuriating. While she had instilled discipline in him, he ended up causing chaos everywhere.

“Just say something! What on earth do you want to do? Why did you send me to the academy?!”

“…”

“Please, say something…!”

“Kara.”

Just as Kara was about to blow up, Hector called her name in a monotonous voice.

Kara fell silent momentarily before he continued weakly.

“I’m sorry.”

“…”

“That’s all I can say right now.”

“Why are you apologizing?”

Though Hector managed to draw out an apology from him, Kara wasn’t done yet. She intended to push through until she could express her grievances.

Hector sighed heavily, filled with complexities, and turned away. He found himself staring at the green eyes that resembled his own.

For a moment, he gazed at Kara before asking, his voice tinged with doubt.

“Do you remember what I told you before? How to face death?”

“I do. At the very least, you said not to regret it when dying.”

The Tartar tribe fights for survival every single day in the harsh desert.

Even now, although trading has flourished, the situation has improved, the past was horrendous.

Warfare erupted between tribes, and foreign forces would often dispatch punitive expeditions.

While Hector established a country to end tribal wars, many problems still remained.

“There’s nothing dumber than regretting when dying. Regret means you weren’t satisfied with your life. And I know all too well that’s true.”

“Indeed. You did say that.”

“…Are you regretting it?”

The question, almost ludicrous, went unanswered by Hector. He chose to keep staring at Kara.

In silence, his gaze mirrored acknowledgment. Kara exhaled sharply, biting her lip.

“…Father.”

“…”

“Why have you grown so weak?”

Hector had become weak—far too weak. Not physically, but in spirit.

In the past, he had a dream of unifying all tribes and standing against foreign forces, roaming the desert.

He fought against not just the tribes, but also the monsters scattered everywhere. He even earned the honor of being called the “Ruin King” by harnessing the power of thunder.

Kara had stayed by his side, wholly dedicated to that cause. Being in her teenage years, she could make good use of the fiery spirit within her.

“What’s the issue? Being a king? A civilized man? Or our tribe? What is the actual problem?!”

In those days, even when faced with death, Hector felt no regret.

In fact, it was the opposite. He swung his axe cheerfully while smiling even when facing the brink of death, succeeding in claiming victory.

Yet that’s no longer the case. Fear of death had crept in, along with regret.

It marked the slow disappearance of his identity as a Tartar.

“You can’t even be a good king, you can’t uphold the identity of Tartar, nor can you be a good role model as a father. What the hell do you want?”

“…”

“Right now, you’re not the father I knew. If you want to be king, then be one. If that’s not the case, then just give it up. You’ve unified the tribes just to break them apart again and go back to old ways.”

Although she spoke in a tone that heavily criticized her ineffectual father, buried within was a concern over the father she cared for who had grown weaker than before.

A weakness she would have never perceived had Sivar not pushed Hector to the crisis.

The reason he’d wandered without direction until now. It was a truly pitiful reason.

“…Kara.”

“Speak.”

“Is there really a reason to choose just one?”

“What?”

What’s this sudden oddity? Kara looked at Hector in shock.

Yet Hector was earnest. He began speaking as if he had some understanding of it.

“A great king. The identity of a people. A good father.”

“…”

“If I had to give up one of these, I’d answer: It can’t be given up.”

Kara’s words almost reached her throat, yet she forced them back down. She sensed something in Hector’s gaze.

It seems that almost being killed by Sivar might have acted as a turning point for him. Well, that’s a relief, I suppose.

“…Do as you wish. Just don’t touch Sivar. Hand over that blasted axe and leave.”

“I intend to come tomorrow to apologize. Just as the older man instructed, I’ll bow even to the ground.”

“If Sivar picks a fight again?”

Hector chuckled softly at Luna’s question.

“Well…”

He then gazed at the ceiling and uttered a meaningful sentence.

“I don’t really know.”

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