Chapter 37

After that, Sena never brought up the topic again.

The atmosphere, which had become serious, quickly settled down with only mundane topics being discussed.

It didn’t seem like she had given up, though. She probably thought that since the Health Teacher had agreed, there was no way to persuade them with words.

If only words could solve it. I’m already scared of what she might do. People like Sena always push through with what they’ve decided, no matter what.

“Then I’ll head back. See you tomorrow.”

“You can’t come tomorrow.”

“Why not?”

We talked for about an hour like that. She seemed to be getting ready to leave, standing up.

If the Health Teacher hadn’t interrupted, she would’ve definitely rushed back as soon as class ended tomorrow. A glare full of hostility was directed at the teacher.

“Visits are only allowed once every three days.”

“…Who decided that?”

“I did. And it’s better for the patient’s sake to space them out.”

“……”

Sena didn’t respond further, but her expression clearly showed discomfort.

After she left, the Health Teacher sighed and patted my head. I didn’t refuse the touch, just looked at her with questioning eyes, and she spoke.

“Poor patient. To be born with such a cruel fate. A child who should be loved, cutting themselves down instead.”

Though her words were sympathetic, her eyes didn’t reflect that. Did she understand? It seemed like she knew something.

I couldn’t ask. Right after Sena left, my board and pen were taken away, as if to prevent any questions. Yet, I didn’t feel particularly bad about it. She was a strange person.

“I can’t save you, but I’ll make you as comfortable as possible, so don’t find this place too uncomfortable.”

Yeah.

That’s enough.

What more could I ask for? She’s healing my body, giving me knives, and turning a blind eye to whatever I do. Anything more would be a luxury.

I genuinely think that. The teacher is doing her best to care for me in her own way. The slight hostility I felt at first had faded away. It felt surprisingly good to be understood.

This isn’t so bad, I thought.

***

Time passed slowly.

The Health Teacher wasn’t lying. The next day, various sterilized blades were neatly placed by my bed.

Her attitude toward me was the same. No matter what I did in the early hours, she’d quietly come the next morning and clean up the traces. It was some kind of care or understanding, and I appreciated it. While Maid Ai’s care guided me in a good direction, the teacher’s was more like indifference.

From an ordinary person’s perspective, it might not seem like a good method, but for me, it was the best. I understood where her bold statement that only I could heal myself came from.

It seemed to work. Since no one controlled me, there was no reason for my self-destructive behavior to escalate. The teacher, who said she’d monitor me to prevent it from getting worse, didn’t intervene for weeks, and my self-harm actually became milder than when I was in my room.

So, it was bearable. Even though cutting and carving myself felt dull and meaningless after my mind had broken, it wasn’t as hard as I thought.

It’s much better than I expected.

Since my mental state wasn’t bad, my physical condition improved quickly.

After a week, I could remove the respirator. The discomfort of not being able to speak or eat was gone, but I had to take dozens of pills, which always made my stomach uneasy. In the end, getting nutrients through an IV became half of my daily routine.

Other than that, it wasn’t bad. At some point, it didn’t hurt much anymore. I just felt weak all over, like I was submerged in water.

I’ve always heard that losing sensitivity to pain isn’t a good sign, but as long as I’m not in pain, I don’t really care.

So, I felt like my condition was improving.

Even though the number of pills I had to take increased, my body was getting better. If I feel like it’s getting better, then it is. I don’t need to hear about test results or anything like that.

It’s much better than I expected.

Sena visited me faithfully every three days.

Fortunately, she didn’t show any of the extreme behavior I was worried about. She just occasionally rolled her eyes as if trying to figure out the layout of the place. Otherwise, we’d chat about trivial things like during her first visit and then part ways.

She even brought small snacks for days when I couldn’t swallow food well. Honestly, they weren’t exactly bite-sized, but I ate everything she gave me. You can’t just throw away a gift, right?

In the end, I threw it all up, but since I tried hard to eat it, I think Sena would understand. It was tough stopping the Health Teacher from scolding her every time she patted my back. I held back my nausea in front of you, so you should praise me.

Sometimes, when the timing worked out, Maid Ai would come with her.

Even after not seeing her for a while, she was still radiant. She seemed more suited to be a noble than someone like me.

Seeing her made me feel at ease, and I’d unconsciously pat her head. Despite my trembling, rough hands, she didn’t pull away and smiled beautifully. It made me feel something overwhelming.

Maybe Sena noticed I liked her, so she started bringing Maid Ai along every time. That was enough. It was all I wanted from Sena.

While the two of them kept visiting, Ariana never showed up.

By this point, I started to wonder if something had happened. The thought about the professor, which I had dismissed as paranoia, started circling in my head again.

Still, there was nothing I could do. Even if I were in perfect health, I had no way of getting information about her.

Ariana would take care of herself, right? I pushed away the worry-like feeling with that thought.

It’s a bit unsettling, but it’s fine.

So.

It wasn’t bad.

From one to ten, everything wasn’t bad.

I even thought it wouldn’t be so bad to just die in this bed.

At first, I hated it so much. But now, I’ve become satisfied just having one person who understands me.

Every night, I cut the princess, spend the day in a daze, and every three days, greet the kids with a smile when they visit. This routine, which is regular yet doesn’t force anything on me, blurs the line between reality and dreams.

So.

Not bad.

If I can enjoy this much until the very last moment, I don’t think I’ll hesitate.

Every time I think like that, I scoff at myself.

As if my wish would ever come true.

After being betrayed so many times, do I still have the luxury to hope?

Deep down, I wished I was wrong.

But of course, my wish shattered one day with the sound of an explosion beyond the door.

Suddenly, what’s this?

My eyes, which had been staring blankly into space, fixed on the door.

A moment later, Ariana entered, battered and clutching her bleeding forehead.

As soon as she saw me, she bit her lip and started pulling out the IV lines connected to her hand.

More than her cautious touch, my eyes were drawn to the red, bleeding gash on her head.

“I don’t know what’s going on, but you’re bleeding a lot. Shouldn’t you stop the bleeding first?”

“I don’t have time for that. It’s urgent.”

She does seem in a hurry.

What on earth happened to make her like this?

At this hour, only the Health Teacher should be here. Did she kill them or something?

I hope it’s not that. It’d make me a little sad.

“Did you get that wound from fighting the Health Teacher?”

“…Yes.”

“Then you’re here to take me away, right?”

“That’s… correct.”

“For our first meeting in three weeks, this is a bit extreme. If you’d come on the first day, I would’ve followed without a word.”

I’ve just started to adapt to life here, you know.

Changing the environment again so soon feels a bit too much.

Even animals would die quickly if you kept changing their cages like this.

Honestly.

I don’t like it.

It’s not that I hate Ariana, but I’ve given up on her, so there’s this strange sense of rejection.

It’d be nice if she’d explain things properly.

She always just does whatever she wants, and it gets tiring fast.

Maybe she read the refusal in my eyes because Ariana’s expression twisted.

“…I know I’m too late. But. Just once, can’t you trust me just once? This is really for the Princess. If you stay here any longer—”

“What’ll happen?”

“……”

See, she doesn’t even plan to tell me.

And yet she says she’s doing this for me, that she’s changed. How nice of her.

Ariana, who had been silent, finished arranging the IV lines and lifted my legs and back.

Even without my consent, she’s planning to take me anyway.

It’s so predictable it’s annoying, so I didn’t even feel like struggling.

I sighed and rested my head on Ariana’s chest.

As we started moving, the shaking got worse, and I felt nauseous.

If it’s like this after one step, I might throw up by the time we leave the Health Room.

I really don’t want that.

As soon as we stepped out, the lobby looked like a mess, as if something huge had crashed through.

Did she cast some wide-area magic or something?

I don’t know if it’s okay to cause this much damage.

If I were the Emperor, I’d be furious at the terrorist who destroyed my beloved shoe display.

The silence made me wonder if the Health Teacher was dead, but the sound of footsteps from the pile of debris suggested otherwise.

The Health Teacher, tapping her shoulder, was as battered as Ariana.

Is it weird that I’m glad she’s not dead?

“…Kids these days are really extreme, huh? Is it okay to beat up a teacher like this?”

Unlike Ariana, who was on high alert, the Health Teacher seemed calm.

She even waved her hand as if to say she had no intention of attacking and looked at me, who was quietly resting in Ariana’s arms.

“Patient, are you sure you won’t kill her? She looks fine on the outside, but she’s rotting inside, on the verge of crumbling. If you can’t take responsibility, you should stop now.”

“I’m confident in my medical skills. Not as much as you, but I won’t let the Princess die.”

“Is that so? Well, then. It’s fine. Take her. Oh, there are extra medicines and equipment over there, take them with you.”

Ariana’s eyes widened.

She must’ve been surprised by the Health Teacher’s lukewarm response.

If you wreck a hospital just to take one patient, of course they’d let you go.

There must be some backstory I don’t know about.

It’s not even surprising anymore.

“Why are you looking at me like that? As if you don’t know anything. It’s already been discussed, right?”

“…Thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll handle the cleanup, so hurry up. Don’t come back here again.”

Ariana, who had been staring at the Health Teacher for a moment, turned and left the Health Room.

I watched her until the very end.

She watched me until the very end.

That was our goodbye.

Even though we’d spent weeks together.

No, maybe it’s because we spent weeks together that it was possible.

Maybe I should be grateful we didn’t part with curses.

“…Ha.”

After she disappeared from sight, I closed my eyes.

There was no reason to keep them open.

I just focused on suppressing the rising nausea.

That alone was exhausting enough.

Enough.

It’s exhausting.

When the shaking subsided and I opened my eyes, I was lying on a bed.

Looking around, it was Ariana’s room.

Is this where I’ll be staying from now on? As I thought that and tried to sit up, a clinking sound and something cold touched my left wrist.

It was a handcuff.

Connected to the bed frame.

It was so absurd I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Sorry, I’m so sorry… Princess, but. This is the only way.”

Ariana, who had cuffed me to the bed, was trembling, almost sobbing.

Watching her, I felt disgusted but also genuinely curious.

“Why are you crying?”

I’m the one who wants to die right now.