Chapter 33

Kwaang-!

“Ugh!”

Viviana grabbed Mardian by the collar and lifted her into the air before throwing her down. The impact was so intense that the carriage twisted, and a groan escaped Mardian’s lips.

“There were… knights outside, weren’t there…?”

“Knights? I thought I was dealing with bandits.”

Mardian glared at Viviana with eyes full of resentment. But that was all. Mardian had no way to stand against Viviana.

Mardian slowly lowered her head, then suddenly lunged at me with both hands outstretched. Unable to defeat Viviana, her plan was to take me hostage.

I should dodge. But as I faced the ferocious red eyes that had just been tormenting me, my body froze in fear.

“N-no…!”

As I muttered pitifully, Mardian reached out toward my face. But just before her hand could touch me, a sudden gust of wind blew, slamming Mardian’s body against the wall.

Mardian fainted without even a groan. As I stared blankly at the scene, a delicate hand reached out in front of me.

“Let’s go home, miss. Your mother is looking for you.”

“V-Viviana…?”

Viviana waited without a word. Desperate to escape the carriage as soon as possible, I tried to grab her hand and stand up, but my legs gave out, and I collapsed back onto the bed.

“Ugh…!”

I had forgotten about my condition in the sudden appearance of Viviana. My body had long been exhausted from the futile struggle.

As my consciousness returned, the effects of the drug began to show again. My body started to heat up, and my breathing became increasingly labored. My mind grew hazy, as if I could faint at any moment if I closed my eyes.

But Viviana still just looked at me without a word. When I met her calm purple eyes, a sudden thought made my heart sink.

Viviana dislikes weak people. She doesn’t even give them attention, mercilessly discarding them. What could she be thinking, looking at me now, unable to even stand on my own?

Before, I had abandoned her, but now it was a situation where she could abandon me at any moment.

“J-just a moment? I-I’m fine, I can get up soon…! Just a little…!”

I hurriedly smiled and tried to get up again. But despite my urgency, my legs moved weakly, and I collapsed back onto the bed.

“Ugh, I-I’m fine…! It’s just, I was startled…!”

Anxiety and fear that Viviana’s outstretched hand might leave at any moment overwhelmed me. I was terrified that she might leave me here alone with Mardian.

“…Sigh.”

A deep sigh from Viviana, as if she was fed up.

It was too late. I had fallen out of Viviana’s favor.

She would leave me.

She would leave me here with Mardian.

My whole body trembled like a leaf.

No.

I’m being abandoned.

Abandoned again.

Always abandoned.

Again, alone again…

“Hold onto my neck, miss.”

“Huh?!”

Viviana lifted me in a princess carry, supporting my legs and back. Startled by the sudden situation, a high-pitched voice escaped me. As my body floated in the air, I instinctively wrapped my arms around Viviana’s neck.

Viviana chuckled softly and slowly walked out of the carriage. As we left the unpleasant, gloomy carriage, the cool evening breeze tickled my cheeks.

All around were trees. It seemed the carriage had been stopped in the middle of the forest. I shuddered again at the thought that if Viviana hadn’t appeared, I would have been helplessly at Mardian’s mercy here.

Viviana lifted me again and placed me on the horse she had ridden. She immediately sat behind me, wrapping one arm around my waist and holding the reins with the other.

“Shall we go?”

At Viviana’s question, I weakly nodded. I wanted to escape this disgusting place as soon as possible. Viviana nodded and gently kicked the horse’s flank.

With a confident sound, the horse galloped forward. The sticky air was gone, replaced by the cool, refreshing forest breeze.

Though my body was still hot from the drug, the thought of being safe relaxed me, and drowsiness crept in again. But I couldn’t sleep on a galloping horse, so I struggled to keep my nodding head up.

“You can sleep. You won’t fall off.”

Viviana whispered softly in my ear.

Why?

Even though sleeping on a galloping horse was dangerous, Viviana’s reassurance made all my worries disappear. Eventually, I closed my eyes gently in Viviana’s arms.

In the peace that came to my exhausted body.

I could fall asleep right away.

***

My mother was beautiful.

Not just flattery, everyone truly said she was beautiful. She was far more beautiful than any woman on the glowing square box.

I, who inherited her looks, also received many compliments on my appearance. But I didn’t find those compliments pleasant at all. In fact, they made me feel disgusted.

Because the way they looked at me was the way they looked at a weak, gentle girl.

Pretty, kind, lovely, surely she’ll grow up to be a good girl. Those were the compliments they lavished on me. When I said I was a boy, everyone was shocked.

Those compliments made me endlessly uncomfortable and dirty, so I grew my hair long. Covering my face, no one approached me favorably anymore.

Except for one person, my childhood friend.

Anyway.

My mother was incredibly beautiful. But sadly, nothing lasts forever. As time passed after giving birth to me, my mother’s appearance began to change.

Of course, she was still beautiful. Just that the glamour faded, replaced by maturity. She was still more beautiful than any other woman.

But unfortunately, it seemed my father wanted glamour, not maturity. One day, he had an affair with a young woman.

After my father left, my mother was immersed in sorrow for a while. Her beautiful skin gradually deteriorated, and not eating properly left her body nothing but bones.

It wasn’t just her appearance.

As time went on, my mother’s personality became increasingly violent. She started cursing at me, and there were days she grabbed my hair.

It seemed my mother thought of my father whenever she saw me. Knowing how hard it was for her, I wanted to understand her.

Then one day, my mother came at me with a golf club.

“If only you hadn’t been born… I wouldn’t have ended up like this…!! Why were you born uselessly!!”

She screamed with a hoarse voice and hit me. After that, it was repeated violence. My mother said she thought of my father whenever she saw me and hit me with whatever was at hand. In the daily repeated violence, my world gradually turned gray.

When my heart was fading day by day, and I could no longer remember what love was.

A woman appeared in my life.

[Tina.]

Artasha Blanchard. A woman with eyes far more radiant than my mother, the most beautiful in the world. She loved me to the point of harming her own health, melting my heart with her soft, gentle voice.

A pitiful woman who didn’t even realize her daughter was gone, deceived by sweet lies.

I knew her love wasn’t directed at me. But even knowing that, I acted spoiled with her. The way she looked at me and the affection she showed me were so sweet that I couldn’t let her go.

But it was okay. Aren’t humans beings covered in lies? Even if I wasn’t Artasha’s daughter, I could be happy just feeling her affection. And seeing Artasha’s brighter expression, I must be doing a much better job as a daughter than Tina.

So Tina.

Please stay gone.

Please don’t come back.

After all, you’re the one who threw away Artasha’s love with your own hands. Give it to me, who desperately needs her love.

“Tina.”

Ah.

It’s my mother’s voice.

She’s calling me.

Her gentle voice calling me naturally brought a smile to my lips. Slowly opening my eyes, I saw my mother stroking my head with eyes full of affection.

“Tina… do you know how worried I was?”

“…I missed you, Mother.”

At my words, the woman opened her eyes full of surprise. As always, she looked at me lovingly with her beautiful smiling eyes.

“Really… you are…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“A terrible monster.”

Thud-!

“…Huh?”

A burning pain surged near my chest. Before I could realize what was happening, bright red blood spurted out of my mouth like a fountain.

“Ugh?! Gasp?!”

I looked down with trembling eyes. A knife was stuck in my chest. It wasn’t particularly sharp or impressive, just a simple kitchen knife. And the person holding that knife was none other than Artasha.

Thud- Thud- Thud-!

“Gasp?! Huh?! M-Mother! W-wait,!”

Artasha pulled out the knife and mercilessly began stabbing various parts of my body. Each time the knife pierced my body, I convulsed violently.

“Shut up! Don’t call me Mother! Where is my daughter, my Tina?! Give me back Tina!”

Neck, face, chest, waist, the hideous kitchen knife tore through my flesh and harvested blood without a moment’s rest. Soon, all I could see around me was bright red blood.

But strangely, I felt no pain. The agony of my body being torn apart wasn’t felt. Yet, my chest was in excruciating pain. The fact that it was Artasha stabbing me was unbearably painful.

“M-Mother, Mom…”

Tears of blood flowed from Artasha’s eyes. Seeing her sorrowful tears, my heart plummeted as if falling to the bottom.

“You monster.”

No.

Don’t say it, Mother.

Please…

Don’t say such things.

Don’t say the same things as that woman.

“You shouldn’t have been born.”

No.

I don’t want to hear it.

I’m being abandoned.

By the person I least want to be abandoned by.

Abandoned again.

Abandoned.Abandoned.Abandoned.Abandoned.Abandoned.Abandoned.Abandoned.Abandoned.Abandoned.Abandoned.Abandoned.Abandoned.Abandoned.Abandoned.Abandoned.Abandoned.

“You shouldn’t have been born into this world.”

“Gasp!!”

I woke up with a start, my head splitting with pain. I clutched my chest, which had been torn apart, trying to stop the bleeding, but my body, which had just been brutally injured by my mother, was perfectly fine.

‘…A dream?’

I wiped my throbbing forehead with my hand.

It was drenched in cold sweat.

Not just my forehead,

My whole body was soaked in sweat.

My head was dizzy.

My breathing wouldn’t calm down.

“It was a dream…”

“Yes, it was a dream, miss.”

A sudden voice made my body jolt. Beside me, Viviana sat gracefully on a chair, quietly watching me.

“V-Viviana…”

“Hmm? Are we on casual terms now?”

“Viviana…”

Fragments of memory pieced together in my hazy mind. I had been kidnapped by Mardian, and Viviana had appeared to save me. Slowly looking around, I saw the familiar scenery of my room. It seemed Viviana had brought me back to the mansion.

“Good to see you’re okay. Then I’ll be going.”

Viviana stood up from the chair with a short remark. As she turned her back to me, an inexplicable anxiety and restlessness overwhelmed me.

“D-don’t go…”

I desperately tried to get up, grabbing Viviana’s sleeve. Viviana looked down at me with puzzled eyes. I struggled to speak through my fear.

“Can you… stay with me…?”

“…What?”

Viviana took a step back, then laughed hollowly and coldly brushed off my hand. Her purple eyes were calm, without a trace of disturbance.

“I know it’s all an act, so don’t try to manipulate me with such pitiful words, miss. Or you’ll really get it.”

With that, Viviana turned away again. Watching her retreating figure, I weakly lowered my head and muttered softly.

“It’s… not an act…”

Did she hear my voice? Viviana’s footsteps stopped in the distance. I couldn’t bear to see her cold eyes again, so I bowed my head and pleaded desperately.

“Can you… stay with me…?”

Viviana didn’t answer for a while. But then, she broke the silence and walked back to me.

“…Oh, for heaven’s sake.”

She made a face.

Clicked her tongue and sat back down in the chair.

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