When Aslan came to, it was winter.
Beneath the sky where snow poured down, Aslan lowered his raised head and glanced at the object in his hand.
It was an axe.
In front of Aslan lay a tree stump left for chopping firewood, with scattered logs around it.
The situation wasn’t as simple as it appeared at first glance.
His memory was hazy, and his consciousness equally blurred, preventing immediate clarity.
Still, Aslan looked around to figure out what was happening.
All he could see were snow and forest.
Though not impossibly far away, the city appeared distant due to the snowy mist.
There stood the city, partially damaged stone walls fortified with palisades.
Impressive stone towers and magical structures in its plaza were visible too.
Aslan realized this was a dream.
Simultaneously, he recognized it as the most painful dream.
This was Beryl.
More precisely, the outskirts of Beryl, where Lewena and Aslan had lived.
A sigh escaped him, dispersing into the air.
Aslan watched the spreading breath against the horizon while gazing at the horizon with the axe held slightly askew.
“Why am I having this dream all of a sudden?”
He didn’t know.
“It could be possible if it’s one of Lewena’s illusionary magic tricks…”
But he couldn’t sense any mana or divine power.
Of course, if someone deliberately concealed it, Aslan’s detection abilities wouldn’t have picked it up. However, Aslan and Lewena knew each other too well to play such tricks.
This was purely a dream.
An unadulterated creation of Aslan’s subconscious.
Looking at the horizon, Aslan gave a wry smile.
Despite denying, avoiding, and distancing himself from it,
his desires hoped to return here.
This fact was unbearably painful yet strangely acceptable.
Calmly, Aslan acknowledged it.
Perhaps he longed for this era.
While contemplating this, Aslan lightly embedded the axe into the stump.
Thinking about what he should or could do in this dream,
his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of approaching footsteps.
The steps weren’t intentionally hidden but carried a playful undertone, hoping for acknowledgment.
Heavy footfalls crunching through the accumulated snow accompanied faint breathing sounds.
Aslan knew whose footsteps these were.
He also knew how long they would take to arrive and from which direction.
Yet, he did nothing.
This was Aslan’s way of expressing affection, an implicit agreement between them.
Pretending not to notice, Aslan stiffened as the person approached.
Instead of startling him, they embraced him from behind.
The touch evoked nostalgia and pain in Aslan.
Even though it was clearly a dream, it felt vividly real.
Maybe because of his high fortune, Aslan scolded himself but focused on the sensation.
Winter clothes made of fur capes, voluminous dresses, and black boots adorned the woman.
Through her winter attire, Aslan felt the soft texture of her clothing and her cool body temperature.
Warmer than winter but cooler than autumn.
Savoring the subtle scent wafting from beneath, Aslan barely hid his pained expression.
There was no way to shake it off.
Rather, there was no reason to.
Aslan silently suffered as he felt Lewena’s embrace from behind.
Recalling the times that would never return,
Lewena spoke as if she understood everything.
“Why so quiet, Hyunwoo?”
The woman’s voice was delicate and warm.
Unthinkingly, Aslan replied.
“Nothing.”
“Did you have a nightmare?”
Her innocent question carried a gentle concern.
It also reminded Aslan of his past.
At this time, Aslan always had nightmares.
Mostly temptations from evil deities.
Thus, Aslan couldn’t distinguish whether this was a memory or a dream created by his subconscious.
So all he could do was remain silent. But then Lewena whispered while still hugging him from behind.
“Should I guess? Or do you need comfort?”
Her tone resembled scolding a capricious child yet brimmed with affection.
Realizing again that this was a dream,
Aslan hesitated for a long time before speaking.
Speaking was painful. The words caught in his throat, rasping uncomfortably.
His eyes stung.
“I dreamed of killing you.”
The words flowed without malice. The woman emitted a characteristic sound before holding Aslan tightly.
Aslan gripped her arms.
They were slender and fragile.
“You’re sad about it?”
It was hard to answer. Aslan stared blankly at the void. The descending snowflakes were starkly clear against the backdrop.
“The saddest part is that after killing you… my life didn’t end, nor did my journey.”
Lewena didn’t respond, but Aslan continued.
“After killing you… I wandered for a long time. Enduring pain, fighting endless powerful enemies, receiving excessive and undeserved attention…”
Without answering, she slowly took Aslan’s hand and walked around him, softly crunching the snow.
Finally, the woman stood in front of Aslan.
She looked at Aslan, and Aslan looked back.
Meeting her gaze as if trying to understand, Aslan couldn’t help but say,
“I’m… tired.”
That was how Aslan truly felt.
Aslan was weary.
That hadn’t changed even after resurrection.
The enemies remained colossal, and the pain remained vivid.
“Afterward… I gained companions. We agreed to fight together, trustworthy and good people. But… I’m afraid.”
“What? Are you afraid of dying, Hyunwoo?”
“No, I’m more afraid of my companions dying. Of their fading from my memory. I fear that despite their deaths, I won’t change the world at all.”
The world watching Aslan. A world unchanged for twelve years. Aslan feared that no matter the sacrifice, nothing would change.
He didn’t know when the fight would end.
Actually, he didn’t enjoy fighting.
He had only kept picking up weapons, constantly reassuring himself.
And decisively, Aslan despised his own weakness.
Since no one in this dream could give proper answers, since this dream wouldn’t remember Aslan’s vulnerable state, he found exposing his weakness contemptible.
To this extent, what Aslan confessed were entirely unexpected complaints.
This period’s Lewena had no knowledge of these matters; it was a time when Aslan and Lewena were happily together.
It might have been unpleasant. In this era within the dream, it might have seemed like Aslan was throwing a tantrum.
Yet Lewena silently fiddled with Aslan’s hand while looking at him.
It was like the real Lewena’s reaction.
Such intricacy in the dream.
Undoubtedly, it was proof of how well Aslan knew Lewena.
Aslan knew her so well that he could picture her even with closed eyes.
Lewena’s scent, fresh like wildflowers but not overwhelming, gentle.
Her delicate silhouette.
The subtle movement when touched deeply—shivering her waist and aligning her navel, both flirtatious and seeking affection.
Aslan could recall all these.
Whenever memories of her softly smiling while making eye contact surfaced, Lewena would smile similarly in front of Aslan with open eyes.
This troubled Aslan.
“Do you want to run away?”
Lewena whispered to such an Aslan.
“If we run away together, we can escape all this.”
Would it really work?
“Together, live in a land where no one else resides.”
Hunting during the day, gathering herbs on the way back, returning to a home shared by just the two of them.
Falling asleep together, waking up together.
Enjoying breakfast leisurely under the morning sunlight, joking around, living a life far removed from battles.
It was undoubtedly a life Aslan could choose.
Perhaps it would have been a happy choice.
Maybe, if things went well, it could have been a choice where Lewena was subdued instead of killed.
If there were no one to harm, maybe she didn’t have to die.
Watching the falling snow, Aslan thought about this.
This dream was certainly about the path Aslan hadn’t chosen.
While pondering this, Aslan faced the snow.
Cold yet somehow warm snowflakes.
Snow accumulating on his shoulders, melting on the ground, whitening Aslan’s black hair, turning Lewena’s fur cape and her glossy black hair white.
Despite the cold, her two violet eyes gazed intently at Aslan’s reddened face.
Her slow blinking, thick lashes above.
Aslan thought that he must have received such a proposal.
And back then, he probably gave the same answer.
Aslan chuckled awkwardly, and a faint sadness settled in Lewena’s eyes.
Aslan said to such Lewena,
“That’s impossible.”
Lewena gripped his hand tightly.
“Surely, it would bring happiness, but I’d regret it.”
Lewena held onto Aslan as if unwilling to let go.
An uncharacteristic display of emotion for her.
However, a feminine side that clung to and wouldn’t release Aslan.
Aslan, seeing this, didn’t change what he had to say.
Aslan understood.
If he ran away now, he’d be crushed by the fights he avoided and the goodness he turned his back on.
And thus, weighed down, he’d regretfully die.
Living merely to survive was akin to dying.
Seemingly aware of this, Lewena smiled sadly.
With a regretful touch, she caressed Aslan’s cheek.
She said,
“Yes, that was who Hyunwoo was.”
Finally, as if realizing something.
Taking a step closer, the woman clasped her hands. Through the naturally clasped hands, her heartbeat could be felt.
Thump, thump, thump.
Listening to her heartbeat, the woman asked,
“What can I do for you?”
The sorrowful woman smiled while leaning on Aslan’s body, lowering her clasped hands to the side as if preparing to dance.
After some thought, Aslan spoke.
“Warn me before I commit truly terrible acts.”
It was a response that wouldn’t change anything. The woman tilted her head.
“Will that be enough? I’m not an ordinary woman that Hyunwoo knows. There’s a significant difference between your terribleness and mine.”
Though doubts arose, Aslan wrapped his arm around Lewena’s waist.
“Trust your judgment.”
It was something only possible to say in a dream.
Whether the dream Lewena understood this or not, she looked perplexed and said,
“It’ll be difficult.”
It was a somewhat nostalgic smile.
As that smile spread, tears flowed, blurring the vision until Aslan woke up.
Upon waking, Aslan lay alone in the bedroom.
It was dawn, the room filled with the crisp yet desolate night air.
Next to Aslan’s bedside lay a talisman.
A talisman Lewena often made, wishing luck for Aslan.
As if the dream moments ago wasn’t a dream at all.
Aslan grasped the talisman and drifted back to sleep.
Tomorrow, Aslan will depart with his comrades to the Abyss.
Thus, there was no reason to refuse good fortune.
