Chapter 29

My mind, which had been submerged in darkness, gradually began to rise.

There was a strangely warm feeling enveloping my body.

It feels like it’s been a really long time since I slept without having a nightmare.

As I lifted my eyelids, which felt oddly light, I saw a familiar ceiling.

It was my room.

I must have passed out while being carried by Ariana.

That part was fine, but the strange warmth I had been feeling since earlier was bothering me.

Someone was hugging me.

I didn’t feel like resisting, so I just turned my head while lying down, and sure enough, Ariana came into view.

She was asleep.

So deeply asleep that she wouldn’t notice if someone carried her away.

“…What are you doing?”

“Hmm, mmm…”

“Hey, Ariana.”

“……”

“Ariana!”

“…Ah.”

Even after I called her, she showed no intention of waking up and instead rubbed her face against my shoulder. I got a little annoyed and shouted.

Only then did I tap her head with mine.

It was a gesture telling her to get off.

“…Sorry. Why was I doing that?”

As Ariana rubbed her eyes and moved her arm away, the warmth left, and cold air touched the exposed parts of my skin.

It’s a bit chilly.

As soon as I thought that, Ariana pulled the blanket up to cover me.

I must have been shivering without realizing it.

It was as if she could read my mind.

“Are you feeling okay?

You had a fever, so I was nursing you and ended up falling asleep.”

Ah, so I had a fever.

Now that I think about it, my body did feel a bit off.

I pulled the blanket tighter and curled up until it warmed up from my body heat.

I think I still have a slight fever, but it’s not bad enough to say I’m in pain.

“…I’m fine.”

“That’s good to hear.”

Ariana smiled faintly and sat up.

She seemed a bit unsteady, probably because she got up suddenly.

Now that I think about it, she was holding me.

What if she caught it too?

I didn’t want anyone to get sick because of me.

Even if it was Ariana.

“Why are you hugging someone with a fever? What if you catch it?”

“…Are you worried about me now?

Or are you being sarcastic…?”

Ariana’s expression changed oddly after hearing my words.

It was an understandable reaction since I hadn’t said anything like that to her recently.

Still, I didn’t like it.

The fact that I hadn’t said anything like that was entirely her fault.

What I’m saying now is genuine concern.

I stretched out my legs and turned completely to the left.

I saw her looking down at me, her hand resting on the table with her weight on it.

Her complexion still didn’t look good.

Now that it’s come to this, I’ll have to get an answer no matter what.

“However you interpret it, just answer the question.”

Frowning as if to show my discomfort, Ariana finally smiled awkwardly and spoke.

“I don’t catch simple colds. My body is basically a corpse except for its health.

The one who’s in the worst condition is you, Princess, so worry about your own body.”

“You’re the one who made me ask this question.

Hugging someone who’s asleep and defenseless.”

“…I think I hugged you in my sleep.

Sorry. It must have been unpleasant to be touched without permission.”

That’s not what I meant.

Seeing her flustered even though it was genuine concern, I once again felt that my mental state was unusually stable compared to usual.

It wasn’t common for Ariana to be the one flustered around me.

If it were the usual me, this would have been impossible.

By now, I would have been drowning in self-loathing and self-harm.

“How are you feeling…?”

Just as a related question came up, I paused my thoughts.

Did Ariana do something after all?

“Much better. Did you do something?”

“That’s good to hear. I gave you some medicine. It’s not a drug, though.”

“Medicine…?”

A completely unexpected answer came back, and I instinctively sat up.

The blanket slipped off, and the cold began to seep in again.

My head, still warm with fever, felt dizzy.

Ariana, startled, pressed down on my shoulders.

It wasn’t a strong force, but in my current state, I couldn’t resist.

I gave up on sitting up and spoke to her as she pulled the blanket back up.

“L-Lie down. I’m better, but I’m not fully recovered—”

“What kind of medicine… did you give me?”

If I had known there was medicine like this in reality, I would have tried to get it sooner.

Of course, that doesn’t mean I could have gotten it, but knowing and not knowing makes a big difference.

Fortunately, Ariana didn’t seem like she was going to avoid answering.

Compared to how she hadn’t told me anything before, this was a huge improvement.

“…Antidepressants, sedatives, and various other psychiatric medications.

My specialty isn’t in that area, so the diagnosis might have been a bit amateurish.

But still, it should be much better than before.”

If such a thing existed.

If this was possible.

Why didn’t you do it sooner?

Why did I have to break down like this?

It’s because you irresponsibly didn’t give me any medicine and didn’t even think about letting go.

There was a much better solution.

Why only now?

“You can’t use it long-term, but it should at least be an emergency measure to get through the immediate pain.

If it gets too hard, come find me.”

“Why suddenly…? You’ve never done anything like this before.

I thought you had given up on me.”

“Well… it’s a bit embarrassing, but…”

Hana blushed slightly and lowered her gaze.

Fidgeting with her fingers, she looked like a child caught doing something wrong.

She always seemed more mature than me, so this behavior felt even more out of place.

“When I came to the Academy, I didn’t bring any of these medicines with me.

I was in such a rush to bring them in… I ended up being late.”

What can I say.

I felt a bit foolish for having harbored such strong hostility toward her until just now.

She really seemed like the always-kind Ariana Wharton from our childhood.

I thought that side of her had disappeared, buried under a mask.

Could this also be the effect of the medicine?

It makes the pain Ariana caused me feel as distant as a memory from decades ago.

It makes the memories Ariana gave me feel as vivid as if they happened just minutes ago.

I didn’t dislike it.

I don’t know if I won’t start disliking it.

Right now, both she and I feel a bit off.

I don’t know if we’ll return to normal or become even stranger once our excitement settles.

Whatever happens then, it’ll be different from how we feel now.

Whether I’ll still not dislike her then, I still don’t know.

As I sighed deeply and looked up at the ceiling, Ariana, who had been watching me cautiously, turned her back to me and sat on the bed, facing away.

“…I realized how much pain the Princess was in. I’m sorry for not noticing before.

I must have been a burden, clinging to you so much. I only increased my obsession unnecessarily.”

She confessed her faults in a soft voice.

Apologizing for not noticing, for being a burden, whispering gently.

It’s still strange.

You’re not usually like this.

Have you changed?

Or was this side of you always there, and I just didn’t know?

“From now on, I’ll consider the Princess’s feelings first.

It’s still difficult to provide drugs, but I’ll find a better solution.

I won’t cling to you so much anymore… probably.

You’ve only seen the selfish and cruel side of me until now, so it must be hard to believe, but I’ll change slowly.”

Hard to believe, but I want to believe it.

If only her issues are resolved, my last days at the Academy will surely be peaceful.

And because I saw a glimpse of her past self in her now.

A really uncharacteristically optimistic thought crossed my mind: maybe I can trust this Ariana Wharton in this conversation.

“…Slowly? That’s tough for me.”

“Q-quickly, I’ll change quickly!

Right, what was I thinking, acting so leisurely.”

I laughed at her uncharacteristically flustered response.

It doesn’t suit you.

That frantic behavior.

You always look better when you’re composed.

Seeing my smile, her eyes widened slightly in surprise.

Then, as if making a resolution, she raised her head and took a deep breath.

“…So.”

Despite the deep breath, her voice trembled uncontrollably.

Given the flow, it was obvious what she was going to say.

“Please, stop hurting yourself….”

Ariana’s hand was gripping my wrist, which was sticking out from under the blanket.

The clumsily wrapped bandage had come undone.

The wound was gone too.

She must have used Healing Magic while I was asleep.

Even though there was no scar left, her eyes still saw it as a wound, and she carefully stroked the area, looking quite worried.

It was because of you.

Not entirely because of you, though.

“…We’ll see.

That’s not up to me.”

“Right… Haha, I got ahead of myself again.”

When I answered a bit curtly, Ariana also laughed lightly.

Considering my past self, it wasn’t a negative response.

She seemed to take it that way too, as the anxious look in her eyes disappeared.

Is this it?

I still don’t know.

After that, a few minutes of silence fell.

It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, so drowsiness washed over me again, and I closed my eyes. Suddenly, Ariana’s voice came.

“…Princess.”

“…Yes?”

“Can you speak informally to me?”

“…….”

Her tone was somewhat tentative.

I definitely used to speak informally to her when we were young.

It seems I’m not the only one reminiscing about the past.

Memories can be scary.

Even though those good times can never return.

Once you fall into the swamp of nostalgia, it’s hard to get out.

I’m sorry to you, who’s still under the influence, but my answer was already decided.

“No.”

I still haven’t forgiven you.

Not enough to cover it up with memories.

I still hate you.

Ariana slowly bowed her head.

What expression she was making, I couldn’t see.