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Chapter 29

The Empress leisurely poured brandy into her tea and observed the restless Rizel.

“Who would have thought the Family Head would suddenly visit this crippled Empress?”

After downing a drink that was 10% tea and 90% brandy, she scrutinized Rizel’s appearance.

Her skin looked slightly rough, and her eyes were a bit swollen, as if she hadn’t slept well last night.

Her hair was also a bit messy, clearly indicating she hadn’t even bothered to comb it before coming.

“I usually reject most visitors, but I accepted this one because it was quite unexpected. I’m quite busy, you know.”

“…”

“Ah, that was me saying, ‘I’m very busy, so if you don’t have anything important to say, please leave,’ in the most roundabout way possible.”

“…Your Majesty the Empress.”

Her voice, usually smooth, now sounded a bit hoarse, revealing traces of last night’s turmoil.

It wasn’t sadness. She still couldn’t be sure.

It wasn’t regret. She still couldn’t conclude that it was all true.

It was just anxiety.

“Raul… no, my older brother… what kind of person was he…?”

“A fool.”

The Empress answered without hesitation.

“An astonishingly foolish fool, that man.”

“Huh?”

“He’s been like that since long ago. When he committed his first murder, when he lost his cherished subordinates, when he heard the news of his father’s passing, and even when he suffered something too shameful to speak of.”

The Empress recalled the lonely figure of Raul, enduring all those situations alone.

“He always had this expression, as if he was holding something back, clutching an old handkerchief.”

“A handkerchief…?”

Rizel, startled by the mention of a handkerchief, dropped her teacup.

There was one object that came to mind when thinking of a handkerchief Raul might have had.

“That handkerchief… was it something you gave him?”

“……”

“That’s the only reason I view you more favorably than others. It’s a fact that Raul endured difficult times because of you.”

But such words were unlikely to reach Rizel’s ears.

The moment she had gifted the handkerchief to her brother flashed through her mind, overwhelming her senses with its intensity.

Her brother, who had looked somewhat tired, was wearing a strange cloak-like garment, so she had asked.

‘Brother! Is that new black cloak? It looks like a black bird, and it suits you so well!’

‘…Thank you. Though the one who truly suits a black bird is someone else.’

‘Where did you get it?’

‘It’s something I received from Father. He said he had his cherished coat from his youth repaired. He said it wouldn’t help in battle, but it would keep me warm.’

‘In battle…?’

‘…Yes. I’ll be leaving for a faraway place soon. I might not be able to return, so Father must be worried. That’s why he gave me this cherished item.’

Upon hearing this, the young Rizel immediately grabbed a pair of scissors and ran to her room, returning with a neatly cut piece of white fabric.

‘What is this piece of fabric?’

‘It’s a handkerchief!’

That handkerchief was made from Rizel’s most cherished dress, which she had willingly cut up to give as a gift to Raul, just as her father had done.

‘…Thank you.’

Raul had patted Rizel’s head and said,

‘I promise. When I return, I will fight for you, not for the country.’

Raul, who had said that, was smiling more warmly than anyone could imagine.

“…Ah.”

Raul was a man who kept his promises no matter what.

Rizel herself knew that fact better than anyone. There was no way he would break his promise and kill his fiancée.

“Why…”

Rizel began to tear at her hair.

“If only he had told me… if only he had said it was a misunderstanding… I wouldn’t have done that… Brother…”

“Well, that was the fool’s mistake… but still.”

The Empress grabbed Rizel’s chin and made her look into her eyes.

“After that, that fool tried to talk to you several times. It hurt him more than he expected to be hated by you. So he tried to apologize.”

But all Rizel remembered was coldly turning him away when he knocked on her door, saying he had something to say.

No matter how much she cursed at him to leave, he just stood outside the door, waiting for her.

He always waited until dawn, then had to return to his duties.

“I… didn’t even know that… why didn’t I know… how can I ever make up for this mistake…”

“Don’t get the wrong idea, Miss Rizel.”

The Empress poured more brandy into her tea and said,

“That fool… no, my master once said, ‘Ignorance is the most foolish sin.’ But in my opinion, not knowing isn’t a sin. I don’t intend to blame you for your misunderstanding.”

“……”

“The greatest sin is not trying to know. You never once tried to face the truth, to believe that your brother couldn’t have done such a thing.”

“……Yes.”

“Your brother cared so much for you. But you didn’t believe in him. And that’s…”

Rizel wanted to cover her ears but couldn’t.

If she only listened to what she wanted to hear now, it felt like there would be no turning back.

“…your greatest mistake. Got it, you damn brat?”

Tears like chicken droppings began to fall from Rizel’s eyes.

The Empress, feeling a bit annoyed at having to scold her like a child, sighed. After all, she was the younger sister of her husband, so it wasn’t entirely wrong.

“…I’m really sorry.”

“My, Raul’s ears must be incredibly sharp. He can probably hear your apology from all the way over there.”

The Empress prepared to empty her teacup, now filled more with brandy than tea.

“To Your Majesty the Empress… and to my brother… I’m truly sorry… I was jealous of Your Majesty’s happiness and only saw and heard what I wanted…”

“Why are you suddenly apologizing to me? There’s a limit to being unreasonable.”

“Because of my ugly heart, the ones who suffered the most are the two of you… really… really… *sob*…!!!”

“Why are you suddenly crying like a maniac? If Raul finds out I made you cry, there’ll be another bloodbath in the palace!”

Of course, Rizel was just a child in a grown-up’s body.

A child who had rarely left the mansion due to her frail health.

The pain she felt now was unlike anything in this world.

It was a heavy, suffocating pain, as if her heart was being torn out. She couldn’t breathe properly, and words wouldn’t come out.

Rizel didn’t understand what was happening. All she felt was a damp, overwhelming pain. And that pain clearly pointed to whom she should feel guilty towards.

“Stop it, stop! Why is everything getting so messed up…! My wife’s fan day is coming, and my mother-in-law is visiting…! If Raul that fool happens to come back and sees this, we’re all screwed!”

Despite her sailor-like vocabulary, the Empress didn’t want to face an angry Raul.

“Stop it, stop! I’ll really tear out your tear ducts if you don’t stop!”

The Empress, dragging her uncomfortable body, began to wipe Rizel’s face with her handkerchief.

“Cheer up, cheer up!”

“Brother…! *sob*…!”

“Why are you suddenly like this! Your face is a mess, and you’re suddenly asking about your brother! Did you eat some poisonous mushrooms last night?”

The Empress patted Rizel’s back, lamenting her twisted fate of having to comfort a grown-up younger sister.

“Where is our brother…? I need to apologize…!”

“Later! Later! I’ll tell you later after I see how you’re doing!”

Eventually, Rizel, unable to bear the guilt, cried herself to exhaustion and collapsed.

The Empress, with her own frail body, had to lay Rizel down on the bed herself.

“Why is my body suffering for your sister’s mess, Raul…?”

She began to look for Raul, who wasn’t even there.

“What happened last night that made her come here and act like this?”

The Empress sighed and finished the remaining tea.

She then looked out the window, imagining Raul far beyond it.

“It would be nice if he could just forget and live comfortably now.”

As she lost herself in memories, a black feather fell by the window.

“A crow’s feather…”

As she examined the feather, her eyes grew distant, lost in deeper memories.

“Sigh… I’m still young, but I’m reminiscing like an old woman. People would think I’m seventy.”

She tossed the crow’s feather out the window and quietly gazed at a picture of five young boys and girls.

“But I do miss those days. It might sound crazy, but I miss the days of war. When all you had to worry about was the enemy in front of you.”

The Empress covered the exhausted Rizel with a blanket and said,

“I can tell you where your brother is… but is that really the right thing to do…?”

Raul was currently at his mental limit.

Even if it was Rizel, whom Raul cherished, she couldn’t reverse his feelings.

“But Rizel, I want you to be happy too. You’re also a victim of that woman’s upbringing. And you, Raul’s treasure, need to be happy…”

The Empress hesitated for a moment, then smiled bitterly as she tidied Rizel’s hair.

“Only then will my sacrifices, even my chastity, have been worth it, right?”


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The Terminally-Ill Lord Desires Hospice Care

The Terminally-Ill Lord Desires Hospice Care

Status: Completed

I am a mediocre person.

As a lord, as a knight, as a family member, let alone as a human being.

Therefore, I wanted to let go of everything that was too much for me and abruptly leave.

No one would want to stop me, nor could they.

I just wanted to breathe easily in a quiet place and disappear like that.

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