Chapter 28

Posted by Kuze, ? Views, Released on February 8, 2025

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What is this supposed to mean…

…Is it even necessary?

How should I start this off?

“……”

Actually, Carriel had nothing to say.

There was no need to ask about Ellie.

Nothing to be curious about.

Right now, he still finds himself in the wilderness.

Pale and utterly devoid of color.

In a space that has lost all hues.

He’s merely chasing after something.

But.

Even so, it felt different from before.

If he gave up everything…

…the contract with the Demon King would kick in, right?

[One: Carriel, as a warrior and son of Ruelde, must inevitably defeat his father and gain his acceptance of victory.]

“……”

This isn’t an issue.

However, the additional clause attached to it…

[If this resolve is broken or lost, the most unfortunate and painful despair in the world will befall him.

This will continue permanently after death, affecting not only him but everyone he holds dear until the day his bloodline ends.

(Note: This does not apply to his parents Ruelde and Hermine, nor any future siblings.)]

Parents and siblings are irrelevant.

The Demon King probably assumed tying them in would lead to revenge via self-destruction, hence excluded them.

Indeed,

Carriel had briefly considered such retaliation.

Surprisingly often, actually.

If you’re so dissatisfied with me…

What if I just die right in front of you?

But.

Too ridiculous a scenario.

Even if I ended my life instantly…

Mother could easily resurrect me, after all.

Thinking about that made even suicide seem exceptional.

Then what? Die somewhere strict?

After I’m gone, I wouldn’t get to see their reactions, would I?

It was a petty attachment, almost like regret.

Still, because of that…

I couldn’t satisfactorily choose suicide.

And now.

I’ve started fearing interaction with others.

Because if I fail…

It won’t end as just my own misfortune and despair.

Someone might say:

Are you serious about resolving yourself over some maid or working commoner girl?

‘None of that matters.’

Even that maid.

Was a small light, albeit tiny.

Because I haven’t forgotten that warmth.

Separate from love.

Simply human to human.

Because I couldn’t bear seeing someone become unhappy because of me.

“I love you.”

“……”

…Huh?

…Wha??!!

“What?”

“It seems your wits have returned somewhat.”

…Did she just joke there?

No expression change, so maybe I hallucinated it?

“The words I just said were my honest truth. You didn’t mishear, so no need to pretend otherwise.”

“Hold on. Just wait a sec.”

What’s this random declaration?

“So, I apologize even more.”

Apology?

“You’re… apologizing?”

“I…”

For some reason,

She tightly closed her eyes,

Locked her words,

Let out a short pause,

Then reopened them wide.

“I’m bad with words, Carriel. You know that well.”

“…”

Removing her archaic speech patterns does make her seem lacking somehow.

Her usual oppressive aura remained though,

Maybe the bearing of a ruler?

“My biggest miscalculation was this: I overestimated you recklessly.”

“Overestimated… me?”

“That’s right. Foolishly believing without doubt that you’d rise up on your own, even without my protection.”

“…”

“This isn’t just me. His Majesty thought similarly, your mother believed likewise, Sir Bariel trusted unquestioningly, and Uncle Ruelde too. Aunt Ermina might be slightly different though.”

“…”

“But ultimately, we share responsibility for bringing things to this state.”

“You… don’t need to concern yourself.”

Carriel replied calmly.

Even if we bring up that day five years ago,

You weren’t around then at least.

By the time you returned to Rutania, everything was already settled anyway.

“Still, I admit we can’t escape the sin of being bystanders.”

“For my sake of face, you mean? After confessing to stopping Alesius, why bring up original sin now?”

“So, isn’t the result that you ended up unhappy?”

“…”

Is this person usually this blatant?

Though clumsy in emotional expression, her sincerity comes through clearly.

Her usual appearance always seemed completely emotionless.

Even during grueling physical training.

She sweats but never once lets her expression falter.

Even among academy teachers,

They’d learn from her rather than offer advice or critique.

She was already beyond reach at the academy level.

Though with magic, the situation might differ slightly.

Even that has long surpassed mere prodigy territory.

“I know Era and you shared the same dream.”

“…”

“And that was also what you told me after returning to your homeland.”

That’s unexpected.

“I did? To you?”

“Apparently your memory is still hazy.”

Somewhere in her tone, beyond disappointment, there’s a touch of sorrow.

Her lips quiver slightly.

Didn’t you tell me you wanted to go on adventures?

To see how vast the world truly is… with so many places to explore. So much to see.

“Uncharted territories not marked on maps. The scorching lands. The ceilings of mountain ranges. The ends of seas. The farthest reaches of the sky.”

Including those lands scorched so hot it feels like dying.

Even the Deathlands shrouded in mystery.

Perhaps our ignorance and fear makes us irrationally avoid these places.

“You told me that.”

And that planted another dream, another hope within me.

“…I don’t recall that.”

Confusedly, Carriel stammered in reply.

She didn’t mind though.

“It’s fine. Back then, you were very ill.”

At those words, he began to vaguely guess which incident she referred to.

“With Ruelde staying silent, I don’t know the full story, but it explains why elves particularly treat us with caution. Why they chose to yield.”

And back then…

“I personally heard from His Majesty that Ruelde nearly destroyed the World Tree.”

“…”

Never heard that story.

Still, one thing’s certain.

My journey as a hostage to elven lands was finally over.

When I woke up next,

I had suddenly returned to the Empire.

World Tree, huh?

====

So that was the culprit.

-Just wondering.

Suddenly, looking down at the lush ground from a high vantage point,

The Demon King gazed upward to the night sky even higher and asked:

-Did the gods already know?

…

-Hmph. There’s something else I should be asking.

What do I expect from spirits anyway.

Though symptoms were reportedly less severe within the Heart of the Empire, the capital of Rutania.

Looking up into the void again, the Demon King let out a small chuckle.

Spirits?

Is that really… spirits?

Even though it’s been ages since his body disappeared,

it naturally induces nausea.

-So this is just a mitigated form?

What a coincidence.

Or is this seemingly random event actually destined harmony?

Rather than intentional, perhaps conditions were simply favorable?

Besides,

-Weren’t the gods secretly desperate too?

…

-Kuk!

While the Demon King may technically be just another spirit,

what sets him apart from them is…

The difference in existence class.

There’s fundamental attribute differences too.

Between those pitiful beings bound by material laws to maintain identity,

And us who establish identity for various reasons without initial essence,

-The difference is inevitable.

Anyway, the situation’s getting interesting.

Who’d have thought the Imperial Princess would outright confess like that.

-Perfect timing.

Still, truly regrettable but…

-It’s too late.

Even if Carriel accepted her confession,

he’s now in a position where he must relentlessly push forward regardless.

Rather, your confession itself will…

Fuel the embers of his complacency and nihilism with desperation.

That fire will reignite eventually.

Even without you, a child already provided the initial spark earlier.

‘Because he learned fear.’

Had he not known, maybe he could’ve been happy for a while?

Ignorance is sweet,

Sometimes sweeter than honey.

But now he knows.

Knowing this, Carriel can no longer give up.

If he idly imagines all those who genuinely cared for him

being mercilessly thrown into a place of endless screaming instead of mere purgatory…

Then giving up will become impossible.

Given his nature and disposition.

‘There are other things to forget about.’

Still, it’s not entirely incomprehensible.

He probably thought there was nothing worth clinging to in this world.

Thought he lacked meaningful, precious connections with anyone.

But that’s just unknown to you.

Maybe you just forgot.

If your failure ultimately leads to their indiscriminate despair…

Can you honestly laugh joyfully then?

Or can you even cry?

====

For some unknown reason, cold sweat turned into beads of anxiety.

Feels like forgetting something important, but trying to remember sends involuntary shivers down my spine.

Fear creeps up from my toes, spreading through my whole body, weighing down my shoulders.

My tongue stiffens and my jaw starts trembling automatically.

“Carriel?”

“…”

Though absurdly stubborn pride,

That call helped regain some clarity.

What needs to be done here is obvious.

Breathe.

Just breathe.

Sit up straight.

Draw deep breaths.

Yeah, always like this.

When mental state falters, breathing collapses first.

So focus on… breathing.

“…”

Whose technique did I learn this from again?

[Don’t panic. Start with steady breathing. Slowly. No need to think about anything.]