Chapter 28

“Ah, hello, ma’am.”

“…Yes, Louis. I called you because I think I need to tell you about Anne.”

“Ah, is it that Anne is actually from a noble family? I already know that much.”

“It’s something else.”

*

028

Light and Darkness (Part 1)

*

Anne always said she would stay by my side, but she often leaves.

It’s unavoidable. I shouldn’t complain. Anne is human, and she has necessary activities to live—eating, sleeping, things like that. Of course, she can’t do those in the Reformatory, so she can’t always be here.

And though I don’t know for sure, I doubt Anne is completely free from other responsibilities just because she’s managing the Reformatory. She must have things she needs to do.

I don’t know.

“Sigh.”

It’s true that my condition has stabilized somewhat. Even without Anne by my side, my mind is holding up decently.

At least I’m not hearing voices—well, not exactly. The voices aren’t as intense as before. They’re more like distant whispers, like the buzzing of bees, faint and incomprehensible.

Maybe it’s better to have this noise than suffocating silence. I slowly breathe and lie down on the cold floor instead of the bed, trying to clear my mind.

The ringing in my ears sounds like waves crashing. I’ve never seen the sea, but… as the son of a merchant, my father, though indifferent, often gave me strange toys. And I would immediately run to Anne to show them.

One of them was a conch shell. They said it was the shell of some creature, but I couldn’t believe such a thing existed. Still, I liked the explanation that followed.

‘If you put your ear to the conch, you can hear the song of the sea!’

‘Ugh, Louis. I’m not falling for that lie anymore. The sea can’t sing like a bird or a minstrel.’

What did I say back then? I racked my fading memory. Ah, probably.

‘The sea is so vast.’

‘Yeah, it is.’

‘So wouldn’t it have heard more stories than birds flying far away or minstrels who know all the heroic tales?’

I want to see the sea.

Among the countless promises Anne and I made, there was one like that. Let’s go see the sea together. The distant horizon that people living in the mountains can’t even imagine. We chatted excitedly, wondering if the sea could really sing and how many stories it would tell.

Ironically, unlike the other promises that shattered completely, this one was realized in some way. Isn’t there a horizon in this space we’re in now? Instead of water, there’s Holy Water, and instead of waves, there’s the murmuring whispers…

…I need to snap out of it.

“Hello, Teacher.”

In a place like this, it’s easy to lose track of time. There’s no change, no other people, nothing but monotony. The headaches and hallucinations haven’t completely disappeared, so I often zone out, lost in the flow of time.

Then, sensing an unnoticed presence, I turned my head.

Outside the bars, the Teacher greeted me lightly. Her plain black hair swayed slightly, and as she straightened her back, her slightly swollen chest remained empty. Her priestly robes, devoid of any pattern, were her only distinguishing feature.

Her face was so indistinct that I remembered her by her attire and unique aura. Well, this was only our second meeting.

“Huh? By the way, isn’t my education supposed to be handled by Anne…? Ah, just checking.”

Still, for some reason, she didn’t feel unfamiliar. Like someone I’ve known for a long time but couldn’t recognize, or like seeing my own reflection in a mirror.

Maybe that’s why I could speak to her so casually. After all, aside from the Teacher, the only people I’ve talked to here are a crazy killer I met once and Anne.

“Am I doing well? Haha… I don’t know.”

Of course, the other two are better than that violent man. And with the Teacher, I could say things I couldn’t say to Anne.

“I’m not sure. Maybe I’ve adapted, but…”

“I still don’t like any of this. The sharp light, the hot water, it’s all so painful.”

“Among all that, the most painful thing is about Anne.”

The person who caused me pain.

Getting used to it doesn’t mean I’m okay. I’ve just accepted it because I can’t change it.

“Do I feel betrayed? …I don’t know.”

“…Yes. Now, I really don’t know anything.”

The human heart is deceitful and weak.

Anger, sadness, regret, despair, resentment, pain—all wear away until nothing is left. In the desolate remains of my heart, the only emotion that hasn’t faded is love, just one.

But even that isn’t enough to illuminate my entire heart. Beyond the bars, to someone I can’t reach, I pour out my feelings without holding back, even though I know it’s foolish.

-Well, at least Anne won’t hear what I’m saying now.

*

“Do you still remember the vow you made to God?”

“Yes. I still hold it in my heart.”

The holy sign was still unbroken. Therefore, Anne’s words were true. Unless she had deeply fallen and completely abandoned God’s will.

In the Inquisition Temple, weapons were forbidden, so François couldn’t see it, but he was certain. If he saw Anne’s holy weapon—Polaris—the mace would shine with unwavering light, following its master’s will.

And yet.

“Then, do you also hold in your heart those who were sacrificed in your judgments?”

This time, silence.

The lack of an answer wasn’t because she denied it. She wanted to affirm, but it was too shameful.

The path of an Inquisition Judge was always stained with blood and corpses. Half of them were heretics whose heads the Inquisition Judge had smashed, but the other half of that blood-soaked path…

…were those innocently sacrificed by heretics, and those the Inquisition Judge herself pushed toward death. Ordinary soldiers, without superhuman bodies or Ailim’s blessings, thrown into the front lines.

Beheaded, split in half, countless times on the brink of death. Yet Anne lived. Of course, she survived. The foremost spear and hammer of the Order, with God’s blessings manifesting beside her, even death was distant from her.

Why? Because Anne was that exceptional and great?

“Do you remember your mission?”

“My mission is… to be the foremost spear and shield of the Order, to destroy the fortress of evil…”

No.

She was chosen. But that ‘choice’ wasn’t a guarantee of success and triumph. What lay before the girl wasn’t a path of gold and silk but, like the symbol of the Inquisition Judge, a thorny path drenched in blood, carrying a cross.

God cannot favor one over all His creations, yet the favor bestowed upon her was more of a curse.

“If that is so.”

Though God’s grace meant even death couldn’t claim the warrior.

If such excessive blessings hadn’t been given, how could an ordinary—no, a fragile girl have been pushed onto the battlefield?

“Why have you embraced heretics instead of your brethren in faith!”

The stern rebuke silenced the hall. Even the grass in the graveyard seemed to hold its breath and lie down.

The atmosphere had been quiet and still from the beginning, but it felt as if a storm had just passed. The dignity emanating from the insignificant old man was enough to overwhelm even a superhuman backed by God.

“I… I…”

Finally, the ice mask of the Inquisition Judge, not a girl, shattered.

At a young age, she witnessed countless horrors without flinching, earning her the nickname ‘ruthless.’ It was as if she couldn’t feel pain, rising again and again to fight despite injuries, earning her the title ‘divine.’

But I dare say, it wasn’t by human willpower. Iron is tempered in fire, but the girl’s heart didn’t have enough time to harden like steel. It was too short, too cruel.

It was more obsession than will.

The ones who hurt the girl hiding inside an impenetrable shell were always those she let inside.

Her precious people.

“From the beginning, the only brother I had… was Louis…”