New headquarters had more facilities than before. Nothing completely new or innovative was introduced, but there was more space for employees to rest during work hours.
The compound had also expanded, and among the new additions were many useful features.
Unlike the previous headquarters, there was now a small café inside, so I didn’t have to go far for coffee. Although I’m not particularly fond of coffee, it seemed beneficial for others who enjoy it. The staff using the café appeared to be quite satisfied.
I started talking about the facilities to explain why I visited the café for the first time since coming to the new headquarters.
“I’ll have a cafe latte. What about you, A?”
Standing at the counter, Angelique ordered her drink and asked me for mine.
“I’d like an Americano, please.”
I only knew espresso and Americano, so I didn’t have many options. While the menu had various choices, I didn’t want to take a risk with something unfamiliar.
“The vibration bell will notify you.”
The employee handed me a vibration bell placed next to the counter, and Angelique and I found seats by the window.
“Are you busy? Should I have come another time? I don’t want to waste your time.”
“No, actually, this break is needed. Sitting here doesn’t feel like it will help with my work anyway.”
As Angelique said, there was much to do. However, the conversation turned to Siera, and I couldn’t just brush it off. Sitting here wasn’t making my work any easier.
Team leaders don’t give detailed training instructions, but when training begins, they pass on the details to the girls. Whether I like it or not, awkwardness with Siera needs to be resolved.
This was a perfect excuse for me to seek solutions.
“So… how well do you think A knows Siera?”
It was a tough question from the start. It was really hard to answer.
To solve the current situation, understanding how much I know about her is crucial.
But I believe I don’t know people well. What I know can change in different situations, and what I think I know might not be the whole truth.
This applies even to Siera, who I’ve known for a long time. Even my closest girlfriends are the same. I’m not avoiding getting to know them, but saying I know someone that well seems presumptuous.
“Hmm, it’s vague.”
Angelique knew I thought this way. She nodded, expecting I wouldn’t answer rashly.
“But I still need to respond.”
Even though it seemed trivial, it was a difficult question for me, and it took some time to answer.
“We’re quite similar.”
Angelique seemed surprised by my answer, even though she didn’t make a big gesture; her widened eyes showed her surprise.
Siera and I share several similarities.
We both have a slightly self-centered tendency, acting according to our own will in any situation without being influenced by others.
When we focus on something important, our vision narrows, and we miss the bigger picture around us.
Though we rarely get angry, when we do, our temper reaches its peak.
After observing each other for a long time, it’s natural to find common ground.
Angelique, who initially seemed surprised, nodded again after understanding my point.
“Yes, A and Siera have a lot in common.”
She felt it too. But how would others see it?
While we share similarities, there’s a significant difference between us. I focused solely on revenge, and everything revolved around that.
My vision became narrow, and no matter how I tried to put a positive spin on it, I couldn’t maintain healthy relationships.
But Siera was different. Recently, I understood her true intentions. Her focus was on me, not any goal or purpose.
When I was running blindly, Siera kept an eye on my surroundings, preventing countless accidents.
Though I’ve had many accidents, I’m still here because of her.
Of course, there were downsides. When I focused only on my goals and neglected relationships, Siera also neglected building relationships because she focused on me.
Evidence of this is that the people I know and the people Siera knows overlap significantly.
“You must have felt uneasy when you heard Siera’s true feelings. Did you understand?”
“I can imagine how worried I must have been, remembering all the things she said and did, and the actions I took.”
“What do you think about Siera’s feelings?”
She wasn’t asking about Siera’s feelings towards me up until now. Although I didn’t fully convey my understanding, I knew Siera liked me. Angelique asked about the feelings I understood.
“It’s difficult.”
“Isn’t it?”
It was indeed difficult. Nothing was easy.
I thought dealing with people’s feelings was always challenging, but this was the most difficult.
Understanding the feelings of my girlfriends and Esmeralda wasn’t easy either. It was tough, and we became lovers through that struggle. Though I can’t say we’re in that relationship yet with Esmeralda.
Her feelings towards me were always genuine, and I never took Siera’s feelings lightly. The problem was that we spent too much time together.
Thinking back on the time we spent together, I realized that understanding someone’s feelings comes from reflecting on shared experiences. The longer and deeper the time, the stronger the feelings become, but the direction changes based on the nature of those feelings.
To me, Siera is a friend and family. Though she might feel hurt, I’ve never seen her as anything but a friend.
It’s not that I stopped seeing her as a woman; rather, I never saw her that way from the beginning. This became a habit, almost an unconscious part of me, and knowing her true feelings shook my previous thoughts.
The reason Siera held back from sharing her feelings might be similar. Expressing feelings verbally is different from having them.
“Back then, it wasn’t uncomfortable to be together.”
“Do you find it uncomfortable to be with Siera?”
“I haven’t been close to her recently, so I’m not sure, but it doesn’t seem entirely comfortable.”
“How about Luche?”
“Team Leader is more relaxed now. It might be because she’s cheerful, but she seems more relaxed now that she’s opened up. So, I feel more comfortable interacting with her.”
Luche also revealed her hidden feelings, but the progress was different. There was no discomfort in seeing her express herself openly, and it made me feel a deeper connection, knowing her for a long time.
“What do the girlfriends think?”
“They have different opinions. Some say it’s fine, some want to observe, and some are against it.”
I can’t ignore their opinions, which makes it more complicated.
“Since the girlfriends are Earthlings, I can understand their perspective.”
“Yes. Because cultures differ, I’m also unsure how to handle it when Siera genuinely expresses her feelings.”
“Do you dislike her?”
“Not really. But liking her is another story. Regardless, Siera is like a family member to me.”
She isn’t disliked. If forced to choose, I’d say I like her, but I can’t say I like her romantically.
Saying no feels like dismissing her feelings, and saying yes feels like agreeing without certainty.
Before Siera decides to share her feelings, I need to clearly organize my thoughts about her.
“I never imagined I’d be discussing this with A.”
Angelique smiled, finding the current situation amusing. I never imagined having such a conversation with her.
“Indeed. It feels like it was just yesterday when you helped clean up the office.”
Angelique laughed sheepishly and scratched her cheek.
Even Angelique, who is kind and always smiles while taking care of others, has a secret.
Her ability to keep things organized is poor. While I know it’s somewhat rude to say someone lacks ability, Angelique’s organizational skills were so bad that they could only be described this way.
“Have you improved lately?”
“I’m trying, but…”
Her trailing voice suggests little improvement from before.
“When A was my direct superior, you often helped clean up, which was nice.”
During my service as a soldier, I frequently cleaned Angelique’s office when she was in the mother unit. At one point, I felt like her secretary due to how much I assisted with organizing.
“At the time, I thought cleaning was a way to show gratitude. Looking back, it truly was…”
When I first joined the military, I was very immature. Objectively, my past self was so foolish that I wouldn’t have a leg to stand on if confronted.
I called Esmeralda “sister” when staying at the dormitory, but before her, I rarely used the term “sister.”
One of those few times was with Angelique.
When I first joined the unit, I called her “sister” as a way to befriend her quickly.
To put it harshly, I lacked understanding; to put it kindly, I still lacked understanding.
It was an action that defied any sense of understanding. Fortunately, Angelique was kind-hearted and let it slide, but if Esmeralda had been my direct superior, it would have ended badly.
Despite my immaturity and lack of understanding, I had enthusiasm and took initiative in many tasks, leading to numerous accidents.
Each time, Angelique engaged me in lengthy conversations, helping me grow. While I can’t claim to be fully mature now, I’ve become a capable soldier.
After our initial conversation, I found myself spending more time talking with Angelique. Though our conversations might have hinted at a deeper relationship, we genuinely talked about various topics.
Sometimes, we chatted idly, and at other times, we discussed serious matters like our future plans.
“Just let me know when you need help cleaning. I’ll assist.”
“It’s okay. I can manage cleaning on my own.”
“Really?”
“…I’m not sure.”
“Don’t worry. It’s not like it’s anyone else. It’s Angelique.”
Everyone I’ve worked with is special, including Angelique.
She helped guide me to become a proper soldier and supported me when the mother unit was under attack. She was the one who helped me the most when I lost my parents and couldn’t regain my composure.
She held my hand when I felt like I would lose my mind and stayed with me all day. We didn’t do anything; we just sat together.
When I was lost in thought, she would come sit beside me, and when I had negative thoughts, she would find me and try to do something fun.
“Now, let’s continue talking about Siera.”
“Yes.”
Even now, whenever I’m troubled about Siera, she appears out of nowhere, listens to my problems, and helps me think through them.
