Chapter 244

Posted by Kuze, ? Views, Released on February 8, 2025

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Even if the night sky disappears, the anxiety remains.

When the storm gets fierce, I unconsciously look back.

Even while closing my eyes, I unconsciously strain my ears.

It feels like a voice calling for me is about to be heard from somewhere.

Without realizing it, I wait anxiously.

I wait… and wait some more, but…

It doesn’t return.

And when I close my eyes this way…

…even in dreams, it all grows fainter now.

Even that childhood self I’ve blamed for so long… can no longer be seen.

“Mommy!”

The moment I open my eyes, I become aware that my whole body is drenched.

As I press down on my chest heaving up and down between ragged breaths with trembling hands,

My consciousness still wavers between reality and dreams.

“Ahhh…”

It feels like someone was shaking me awake any second now…

But even that turned out to be just another dream. The surroundings feel hollow and silent.

Rubbing her heavy eyelids with effort, Hermine continued breathing heavily.

====

For several weeks now, the Empire has been in turmoil.

Here, disputes escalate into bloodshed; there, monsters never seen before wreak havoc.

Furthermore, due to the wicked cult worshiping the Demon King and the rebellion led by those causing pointless chaos, countless victims and casualties have appeared in many villages and cities.

Especially when demon contractors joined the fray, the scale only grew larger.

However, since the Empire had always meticulously prepared for such situations, the damage was not as widespread.

Still, innocent victims kept appearing.

This is why Hermine left Rutania to travel across the entire Empire.

While there may be political reasons, it’s clear that many people need her personally.

Most importantly, her mere existence can sustain life even for the dead in some form.

Moreover, she’s a Holy Maiden wielding divine power, which opposes the evil forces handled by demons and daemons.

Although often praised as the Mother of Saints, she’s always strongly denied such titles.

Mother.

After finishing her prayers, she appears calm but continues touring the outskirts of a once bustling village where dozens used to live, encouraging patients and wounded from yesterday’s events.

“Thank you! Truly, thank you!”

“Not at all. Everything comes from the Grace of Gods. All glory belongs solely to Him.”

Only after thoroughly checking the surroundings does Hermine board one of the few flying dragons available in the Empire alongside her escorts, ready to move to the next location.

Unlike true dragons, these creatures are closer to beasts and believed to share roots with ancient dragons from long ago.

The difference? One receives grace from God, while the other performs its duty as a beast until the world ends, endlessly wandering the wild.

They’re notoriously savage and cantankerous—nearly impossible to tame unless handled properly from an early age.

Nevertheless, the Empire willingly endured the hardships.

What took over half a day by carriage took merely a couple of hours on the flying dragon.

“Over here quickly!”

A man presumed to be the village chief, holding his bandaged head, leads them inside.

“Ow!”

But.

Before entering the house, cries and wailing reach their ears, halting the running steps of the chief mid-motion.

“S-Surely not?”

In the corner of the house they rush into, a man lies pale on a blanket spread on the floor beside a broken bed.

“This friend! He was fine after being stabbed with a sword, why? Why now after holding on so well?”

Hermine urgently approaches to check his condition…

“…He has passed away.”

He isn’t breathing.

It seems he’s been gone for a little while already, but we must’ve missed it.

On the way here, I could sense it—the village suffered greatly.

This wasn’t the work of monsters or beasts.

It’s humans doing this much harm persistently.

Arson, especially, is something almost no monster would ever choose as a method except in rare cases.

“Can’t you really do anything? Holy Maiden!”

“…I’m sorry.”

“Hey! My mom too! She’s in critical condition! Please save her!”

Before Hermine can offer words of comfort, a child clutches her sleeve, dragging her along.

“…”

One of the accompanying nuns sends a glance indicating she’ll handle it herself and turns toward the grieving woman.

Helplessness will eventually turn into resentment and anger.

Receiving that, easing their pain and malice, accepting their emotions and impulses—that’s all part of their role.

They have no one else to rely on, no place to turn, so they place their hope and trust in us.

Helpless ones cannot do anything themselves, leaving them with no choice but to lean on others, pray, and beg.

Hermine herself was the same.

From childhood, she was used and abused.

At some point, she was locked away, praying endlessly for an unknown purpose…

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

The woman regaining consciousness thanks to her touch.

Her child, tears streaming down their face, repeatedly bows in gratitude, making Hermine feel as though a heavy rock has been placed on her chest.

‘If only I’d arrived a little earlier.’

That man could’ve been saved.

Though everything happens according to fate…

…

After examining everyone possible and even conducting the funeral rites,

She quietly accepts the grief and anger of the bereaved.

“Why didn’t you come sooner?! Why did you arrive so late?!”

“What is happening? Why does our Lord put us through such trials? What sins have we committed to deserve this…?”

“Uuuuuhhhhh!”

Sadness flows like rain, like rivers.

Both joy and sorrow stem from His will.

“Let’s head to the next location. I’ll stay here and take responsibility for these people.”

With two nuns and Imperial Knights staying behind, Hermine boards the flying dragon again, receiving thanks, regrets, and even some resentment as she…

Escapes the scene as if fleeing.

Arriving at a small town with newly joined personnel this time,

‘Here…’

First it was the east.

Then the north.

Again circling around to the west.

And now… the south.

For weeks, she systematically visited urgent areas on her own initiative.

Many lives were saved because of it.

She received countless thanks.

…Yet inevitably, lives lost.

And their families’ uncontainable resentment and anger she couldn’t bear—directed even at herself.

Their pitiful and heartbreaking appearances chipped away at the satisfaction of saving countless lives.

‘Not everyone can be saved.’

Knowing this yet experiencing it is exhausting and arduous.

Truly, the hardest thing isn’t my own weariness.

And.

Even now, I wait for that voice that might call for me somewhere, knowing fully well it won’t reach me here.

Afraid I might overlook it and miss seeing them,

I’ve made a conscious effort to keep my eyes wide open.

“…”

Saving a hundred, a thousand people.

Will that atone for my sins?

Those who died in my stead.

And…

Ultimately, the relationship between me and that child, which began with me but went awry due to improper handling,

Now, I don’t know how to mend it.

“Are you alright?”

“…I’ve caused you worry.”

Struggling against the blurring of consciousness, Hermine quickens her pace.

Weakness is a sin.

We’ve lived in a world like this.

You may grow cruel, but you must never become evil.

Because evil harms not only yourself but also those around you.

Being powerless is also a sin.

Because without strength, you cannot protect.

And thus become cowardly and unfortunate.

Eventually, you’ll be unable to resist the hand of evil.

But having only power is also sinful.

Because that person will use their power solely for themselves.

Among these, ignorance is the greatest sin.

The biggest wrongdoing.

Always leading to wrong choices.

Sometimes only harming oneself is fortunate.

But those choices destroy the surroundings.

Just like myself.

Handing over your heart to emotions is also a sin.

This world is stained with sins and evils.

Crossing the rivers of sin and oceans of evil,

We must pay the price of being expelled from paradise until the day of death arrives.

‘But.’

Ultimately, this suffering and misfortune stem from my own foolishness.

It’s my mistake.

My oversight.

‘If that child becomes the Demon King and plunges the world into despair.’

What should I do?

How many times have I repeated and answered this question?

I’m not sure.

Maybe when the time comes, I’ll understand.

Should I seek answers not from my will but from the Lord at that moment?

Or…

Is this itself a trial and sin given to me?

‘If something impossible happens.’

Could there be anything better?

If I could die hundreds of times and make everything vanish as if nothing happened…

I wanted to.

Really.

====

“Any injuries?”

That child smiles cheerfully.

Who am I, the son of whom, to get hurt like that?

“Still, worrying is what parents do.”

I’ve grown up already!

“Young? You’re still a kid.”

Back then, my mother and father fought the Demon King and became adults. So, yeah.

“That was the situation back then. Now, it’s unnecessary.”

Come on, people have expectations. How could I live irresponsibly?

“…Anyway, I just want you to grow up healthy and strong.”

Too healthy is the problem. Besides, my motivation runs ahead, but recognition and skill-building take time. At this rate, when will I become like Father? Honestly, Elimion might grow up first.

“Well, that’s good, isn’t it?”

It’s good.

“…”

Yeah. It’s a good thing.

But why?

“So this time too, it was a dream, huh.”

When you’re tired, sometimes you dream without realizing it.

Like right now.

For a moment, I was truly happy.

The impossibility of this reality hits home so hard.

Now, it hurts even more.

“…”