Chapter 240

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Changes in Dreams

“Huff—huff—”

I panted heavily, my left hand reaching forward to probe and grab the cold iron bars of the mansion gate, pushing it gently.

Before I left, I hadn’t locked the iron gate. Now, with a push, it creaked open a crack. I squeezed through sideways, squinting as I locked the gate again, then took a large bite of deer leg meat.

Apart from being very salty, I couldn’t taste anything else.

My head was muddled, my spirit utterly exhausted. My eyes felt like they were being pricked by needles, causing sharp pain. I blinked furiously, but tears still flowed uncontrollably down my cheeks.

I didn’t even know how I walked back to the inner courtyard. My consciousness had started to fragment. I vaguely opened and closed doors, stumbled upstairs… When I came to my senses, I was already standing by the bed, half of my body already on it.

I suddenly jolted awake.

No, I can’t sleep yet…

I quickly stepped back two steps, stumbled, and sat down hard on the carpet.

I fell…

But I didn’t want to get up. Sitting there, I crossed my legs, hugged the large deer leg, and began to gnaw on it. I bit off a big piece, chewed it two or three times, and swallowed it, then bit off another… I ate like a ravenous wolf, not wanting to stop for a moment.

This way, even if my stomach felt no sense of fullness, at least I would feel slightly comforted inside.

My eyes burned and stung, my vision blurred so much that I couldn’t see what I was eating or how much I had eaten. Tears kept flowing, and the hot temperature of my body made me feel as if I was being consumed by flames from deep within my skin. With each breath, I exhaled hot white mist.

But strangely, I didn’t feel any pain.

Sometimes the deer meat had a gritty texture, crunching in my mouth. The meat had fallen to the ground before, so it must have been covered in dirt, but I wasn’t paying any attention now.

My mind was almost blank, unable to think of anything. My ears rang loudly.

It seemed I could no longer feel the temperature of this world. It felt as if my soul had detached from my body, even from my consciousness, floating lightly to some unknown place. From mid-air, I looked down quietly at my body, which moved like a somnambulist below.

Plip.

Hot water droplets fell on my hand, quickly evaporating.

The deer leg in my arms probably had no more bites left. I threw the bone onto the carpet, wiped the corner of my eye with my hand, lifted my head, and slowly turned toward the mirror nearby.

In the reflection, a weak girl sat on the floor, her silhouette indistinct in the dim light. I couldn’t make out her features clearly.

All I could see were two glowing red dots, glaringly prominent in the mirror, spitting out sharp glints. They were like the eyes of a monster lurking in the depths of darkness, revealing evil, ferocious eyes.

That’s… my eyes…

What happened to my eyes…

I struggled to stand up, walking unsteadily to the mirror.

I still couldn’t see my face clearly. Only those blood-red eyes stood out more prominently in my line of sight.

They were like the eyes of Teresa after she had devoured blood, demonic, crimson, and blazing.

My hands trembled as I touched my eyelids.

What have I become…

A heretic?

Am I like Teresa, possessing the power to devour human blood…

No, I don’t want that…

I don’t want that terrifying power…

What will I become…

“Ha…”

My trembling breath carried faint wisps of dark smoke.

…Will I burn up?

Like Teresa, becoming an unconscious monster after devouring enough human blood.

I’m so scared.

So scared, so scared, so scared…

I don’t know what to do, but I don’t want to stay here.

I don’t want to be alone… here.

Someone help me…

I slowly turned around, dragging my numb consciousness, taking hesitant steps out of the bedroom.

I couldn’t see anything in front of me. I didn’t even know where to step. I could only hold onto the wall, taking one step at a time, nearly falling several times.

“Victoria…”

I wanted to go to the terrace, to call her there.

It was such a short distance, yet I seemed unable to move.

Thud.

When I came to, I was lying on the cold floor, too weak to struggle. All I could do was curl up desperately, clinging tightly to the wall, hoping it would bring me some comfort.

My eyes wouldn’t open… I didn’t know if I would wake up again, but I might as well sleep…

God, please don’t let me turn into a monster.

Please…

…………

In a daze, I heard the sound of wood burning, crackling.

“These new clothes, the children have been looking forward to them for a long time.”

Someone spoke beside me, a gentle woman’s voice, somewhat familiar.

“You are truly kind-hearted.”

“No, just fond of them.”

After these words, I realized it was Teresa’s voice, my heart skipped a beat, and I suddenly opened my eyes.

White light flashed in my vision, and the hazy scene gradually cleared. I found myself lifting my right hand, my slender fingers spread open, emitting thin streams of freezing air from my palm, extinguishing the crimson flames on the wooden stake in front of me.

…?

Such familiar dialogue, such a familiar scene… Ah, I remember.

I remember this place.

This is the alley where we first clashed with the heretics in the royal city. Teresa smashed the bald man’s head, and we returned. Tainis and the others were checking the goods. I listened to her conversation with Teresa and casually extinguished the nearby hellfire.

Those familiar voices should have been Teresa and Tainis.

“I am not a heretic, I don’t want to go to the underground prison… I am not a heretic…”

I heard Charles’ voice in the distance, turned my head, and saw him, lost in thought, standing among the merchants, muttering to himself.

Seeing him, my heart

A slight warmth touched me.

Everyone was still alive.

Though I didn’t quite understand what was happening, seeing Charles alive made me want to talk to him.

I started to walk towards him… Wait, why can’t I lift my foot?

I was surprised to find that I couldn’t control my body at will… This must be a dream.

Suddenly, a hand gently patted my right shoulder.

“How convenient, Silvija.”

My body turned towards the voice, and I saw Teresa’s gentle smile.

She stood in front of me, as graceful and elegant as ever. Her eyes, like stars, stared intently at my face. She crossed her hands over her lower abdomen, standing gracefully.

“The power of your Frost Order is too strong. It’s almost like a restraint for the Gate of Truth.”

Her thin lips opened, and the words she spoke were exactly as I remembered.

But something seemed different.

“Teresa.”

Huh?

Strange, I didn’t mean to call her…

“Yes?”

“Is ‘The Sorrow of Love’ your book?”

She looked up when she heard this.

“Oh, yes.”

Her blue eyes trembled slightly, gazing at the distant sky.

“That was… several years ago. Why, have you read it, Silvija?”

“Just a little.”

I shook my head, looking at Teresa’s enchanting profile.

“I saw… a sentence. The world’s suffering is merely the result of human hearts… Teresa, do you think so?”

“Mm-hm.”

She focused her gaze and looked directly into my eyes.

“I believe you can deeply understand this now, right?”

I met her gaze unflinchingly, saying earnestly, “I understand. But this is because the person who said those words, she deceived me.”

“So this way… I’ve proven my initial thoughts were correct, isn’t that interesting?”

Teresa smiled beautifully at me.

“In fact, the book was originally supposed to be called ‘The Joy of Love.’ That was the teaching I wrote for being chosen as the Holy Maiden. Back then… I constantly reminded myself that becoming the Holy Maiden of the Church wasn’t just an honor; it also meant responsibility. With this responsibility, I had to bring something to the world and make a difference for humanity.”

“I thought… perhaps I could really do something, and I felt deep joy from it. I wanted to convey this joy to others, to tell them that the gods are always watching us and deeply love us.”

At this moment, Teresa seemed different from how I remembered her.

I couldn’t pinpoint exactly where the difference lay, but I felt that her eyes were particularly beautiful when she spoke these words.

She wasn’t beautiful by any means, but I had to admit, she was a woman with a unique charm.

Unlike Victoria’s aloof aura, every gesture and expression of Teresa made me unconsciously think of words like gentle, virtuous, and flawless. She had a special allure that made people naturally want to approach and trust her.

That was Teresa.

Even though she was already dead.

Even though I knew the person standing before me, speaking those words, was already gone from the real world. Yet, facing her again, that aura still made me lose myself, making me doubt what is truly real.

I was somewhat lost.

Even though I knew that everything Teresa showed me now was an illusion.

But her eyes… they emitted the same light as Carlos’s.

She and he were the same type of people, willing to give up everything for their beliefs.

“Silvija.”

Whoosh—

When she called my name, a fierce wind and flames devoured everything before my eyes. Like burnt photos, the figures around me vanished, and everything suddenly became pitch black.

In the raging flames, even Teresa’s graceful figure gradually turned into light and shadow.

Her words seemed to come from the edge of the horizon.

“At that time, I might have already died, and now I am also dead.”

“But if one day, you are like me, thinking everything went as you wished, only to discover… that they were all deceiving you. And such deception ultimately hurts those you care about. What would you do then?”

I still remembered her question back then.

And my answer wouldn’t change.

“I would stop it.”

“Even if it costs everything?”

“Even if it costs… everything.”

“… Hahaha!”

Teresa’s figure was consumed by the flames, yet her laughter echoed wildly in the darkness.

“Silvija, do you know what it means to pay everything? No, you don’t know.”

“Now, you don’t understand anything.”

“This world is full of beautiful scenery, and there are many people who love the beauty as much as I do. You don’t understand the price you need to pay to keep these things. You don’t understand what you mean by paying everything.”

“I thought you were like me, but now I see I was wrong. You can never do what I did… Silvija, from the very beginning, we were destined not to be friends.”

“Then, I’ll leave now.”

Boom—

The flames, accompanied by the wind, enveloped the darkness, swallowing my body.

Scarlet flames tightly wrapped around my limbs, climbing up to my chest and face, merging with me in the hot and soft temperature.

Subconsciously, I heard Teresa’s farewell in my mind.

“Good luck.”

I think this might be the last time I hear her soft, gentle voice.