Chapter 231

Chapter Eighteen: I Am Actually Very Afraid

On a starlit night in March, two moons shone brightly through the clouds.

The warm wind blew softly.

After that, Victoria didn’t mention the Empress Dowager again. The genuine emotions were only fleeting moments of uncontrollable feelings, but she didn’t need my comfort; she didn’t need anyone’s comfort.

When the sky darkened, we went up to the second-floor terrace and sat there drinking tea and admiring the moon. Later, the maids from House 2 brought us some exquisite-looking dinner that I had no appetite for. I took a few bites and started feeling queasy.

Victoria didn’t eat much either, but she drank a lot of wine. Afterward, she became quieter, standing gracefully by the railing, gazing at the moon in silence. A gentle breeze lifted her skirt, tightly hugging her calves and fluttering slightly, reminiscent of a butterfly’s wings.

I hoped her life could be like that too—just by flapping her wings hard enough, she could freely fly to wherever she wanted.

“Your scythe is on my side. Come to get it early tomorrow morning.”

Just as I was lost in watching her, I suddenly heard her say this.

“Oh.”

I nodded blankly.

A moment later, Victoria spoke again.

“What’s with your physical strengthening power?”

“Oh… Ah? What?”

The scent of alcohol mixed with incense wafted over me. I came back to my senses and realized Victoria had walked in front of me, her bright golden eyes fixed on me unblinkingly.

“The person covered in black flames flying in the sky that night, before I fell unconscious, was you. It was just a moment, but I am sure it was you.”

Buzz—

My mind went blank.

I opened my mouth, but I was so flustered I didn’t know what to say.

Victoria pulled out an empty chair next to me and sat down, continuing, “At that time, the forest outside the city was already burning in several places. Such a fire wouldn’t easily go out. However, later, the report from the Sword of Kankri had a very interesting piece of information. On that night, Rector and Lady Bertha saw golden light shining all over the sky outside the city. When they arrived, they found that not only was the forest intact, but it had even grown more lush than before, with no signs of any battle. At the scene were only myself, unconscious, you, and the Lady of the Holy Maiden who happened to arrive. I find this very strange.”

I involuntarily swallowed, unable to meet her gaze.

“W-Where is it strange…”

I tried to maintain a normal expression, but my hand under the table trembled slightly.

“That golden light was a miracle performed by the Lady of the Holy Maiden. According to the description of the scale by the Sword of Kankri, such a grand display of faith would clearly not have been for healing us or putting out the fire; those things wouldn’t require such effort. Although I don’t perform miracles, I understand them well.”

“As far as I know, the power to rejuvenate plants and trees is the highest level of natural miracle. It’s not something that can be done easily. Large-scale use would consume a vast amount of faith. No one would use it lightly. The Lady of the Holy Maiden must have her reasons for going to such lengths.”

After saying this, Victoria stared intently at me and tapped the table with her hand.

“What is she hiding? Peylo, can you help me understand?”

It seems she really has discovered something… What should I do…

“I, I—”

For a moment, I couldn’t come up with a good excuse and couldn’t speak.

But Victoria is so perceptive; the more I act like this, the more she will not let me off.

“Peylo, would you lie to me?”

“I, no…”

I really don’t want to deceive her.

If it were someone else, it would be fine. I wouldn’t be this nervous. I might come up with many excuses or simply say, “I don’t know, ask Margaret.” But now, in front of me is Victoria, this

Women are too smart.

With my amateurish acting skills, I might only be able to fool those fools and pretending-to-be-stupid mothers; I can’t deceive her.

If I lie now, Victoria probably won’t say much, but she might no longer trust me or even start to dislike me.

I don’t want her to dislike me…

“Victoria…”

“Yes, I’m listening.”

“I, I don’t want to lie to you, but I, no, I dare not, I…”

I was already incoherent, so panicked that I didn’t even know what I wanted to express. “What you saw, that shadow, was me. But—”

“What is black fire?”

“Mm…”

I slowly lowered my head, almost burying it under the table. I couldn’t bear to admit it, and my trembling body betrayed my fear.

“Victoria, don’t hate me…”

“Why would I hate you?”

“Because…”

I could hear my own timid and weak voice, and I could imagine how weak and vulnerable my face must look.

How hateful, why do I feel like crying so much.

Take a deep breath, take a deep breath… Then, gather the courage and tell her.

“Margaret is actually covering for me, because I am, I am, I am a monster—”

“Don’t say anymore.”

Slap.

Her slender hand gently touched my head. I looked up, meeting Victoria’s close face, blinking my red eyes.

“This makes things difficult for you, doesn’t it?”

Victoria said this, her exquisite face pale yet rosy, her gaze as gentle as water.

“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”

Her fingers gently rubbed my head, making my hair messy, strands hanging over my eyelids.

I smelled her pleasant scent and, for some reason, hugged her waist tightly, lowering my head to bury my face in her lower abdomen and rubbing against it.

“Victoria…”

I sniffled, and emotions erupted in the next moment.

“I’m scared to speak, I’m sorry, I’m scared… but what should I do…”

“I’m so afraid, I’ve always been so afraid! I can’t control it, I can’t control it, I’m so afraid…”

Victoria didn’t speak anymore, letting me lie on her lap, patting my back repeatedly for a long time.

She didn’t ask anything else, and I naturally didn’t dare tell her anything else. All my courage had already dissipated when I blurted out half of the word “monster.”

But I think, with Victoria’s intelligence, she might have guessed the truth long ago.

After she left, I locked myself in the bedroom, pulling the curtains tightly shut. Under the bright candlelight, I slowly walked to the mirror.

The reflection showed a pitiful young girl. Her delicate face still carried a hint of sorrow, her eyes like black pearls were slightly swollen and reddened, making her even more beautiful and pitiable.

At this age when she should be growing rapidly, her face and body remained almost unchanged from when she first awakened in this world.

“One, two, three, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, seven…”

“Peyalo, it’s Sylvie, it’s Chen Yuxuan.”

“Peyalo is strong, the strongest.”

If there was any change, it was that she spoke more fluently than before.

This change began when I woke up this morning. Now I can say more words in one breath, though I still stumble sometimes. Yet, I felt a sense of enlightenment: the barrier that should have blocked “something” had already cracked open.

Though it was just a tiny fissure.

I knew this was because I had consumed Teresa’s monster. At the same time, I knew I would become increasingly hungry for “food” in the future.

That night, I couldn’t sleep.