Chapter 213

“Aya!”

The moment I regained my senses, an empty cup was in my hand, and Han Su-young’s clothes were soaked brown. Coffee was dripping from my face, and ice cubes were scattered around.

I couldn’t remember what I was thinking when I did that. Was that cute little scream from Han Su-young? I couldn’t believe it was such an uncharacteristic scream.

Regaining my composure, I immediately tried to apologize. No sound came out of my open mouth. It was clearly my fault, so I should apologize, but no words came out.

I gathered all my strength to speak. However, the words that barely escaped my lips were not an apology.

“I take back what I said.”

“That’s strange… You said you don’t like Hwa-won, right? So why are you angry? Even in dramas, coffee isn’t splashed around. It’s not water.”

“I don’t know. I take it back.”

“Do you have any idea how much this dress costs? The cleaning fee isn’t going to be cheap.”

“I said take it back!”

Han Su-young laughed. As if it was the most fun thing in the world.

“Okay, take it back.”

I struggled hard to refrain from wanting to hit Han Su-young. It was absurd.

Well, at least it was better that I splashed coffee. How could I hold back? If I had another cup of coffee right now, I wouldn’t hesitate to splash it again. Since I couldn’t do that now, I could only tremble in frustration.

“Is it fun to toy with people’s hearts like that?”

“It’s the best. It’s thrilling. And think about it. Isn’t it merciful to at least give the defeated heroine like me the right to enjoy the after story?”

Defeated heroine, huh. I knew what that meant. It was a word I never expected to come out of someone like her, but it was downright amusing.

“You’re not a defeated heroine. You were never a heroine to begin with, so you couldn’t have been defeated,”

“Yeah, keep talking.”

Unfortunately, my provocation didn’t work. Seeing her furrowed brow, she was clearly angry, but it seemed she was still holding back.

By now, the contents of the letter were completely gone from my mind. No, I was aware of it, but I had no intention of choosing my words for that. I would surely regret it later, but in this moment, my feelings were more important. I could have been calmer, but my actions wouldn’t have changed.

“To you, I’m someone who has never stepped into the ring, right? Then, are you in the ring? If you don’t step into the ring, you have no right to criticize me.”

It was a fallacy. But why do people come up with fallacies? Because they shake people’s hearts. I couldn’t help but be shaken too.

“I… I… like Hwa-won…”

I couldn’t finish my sentence. I couldn’t admit it. That I liked Hwa-won? That was a lie. It had to be a lie. It shouldn’t be true. It had to be untrue. I couldn’t get my words straight. I didn’t know what I was saying.

It felt like I was trapped in a prison of language. Not allowing me to say anything about Hwa-won.

“If you can’t say it, you don’t have to. Anyway, I think I’ve enjoyed the main course enough. So I won’t charge you for the cleaning fee. I’ve already had enough fun.”

I bit my teeth at her mocking tone. All I felt toward Han Su-young was rage. Yet there was nothing I could do. Violence? I’d lose. In a verbal battle, I’d be on the losing side. Writing? She wrote better. Money? Han Su-young had more.

But now, all I hoped was to somehow win this battle doomed to fail. Only then could I deny her words.

But winning wouldn’t give me anything… No, there is something. I can win at something.

I changed my expression. Forced, intentionally, as if to mock her. It was so awkward that Han Su-young quickly caught on. But that wasn’t important.

“I guess you’ve gotten a lot of anger because you were rejected by Hwa-won. At your age, you must be hearing the ‘old maid’ remarks now. They say late motherhood is quite dangerous, are you okay?”

I hadn’t been rejected by Hwa-won. And I was younger.

“…Have you been drinking?”

It had an effect. Picking up the thrown concept again was to hide her momentary agitation. Just a moment ago, Han Su-young, who was fiercely attacking me, had to take a defensive stance now.

“There’s no way. Can you get drunk on caffeine? Maybe someone as old as you can, but I don’t know since I’m still young. Honestly, isn’t it immoral for you to target Hwa-won? You’re in your 30s, and we’re still in our 20s.”

It was clear. Han Su-young was getting flustered. She couldn’t openly vent her anger because she knew what she had done until now, but I could see the muscles in her fist starting to tense.

“So, even if you were rejected, understand that it was a bit harsh. Hwa-won must have been in a difficult position too. You can’t just leave an older woman who mistakenly thinks she’s your girlfriend just because you’ve spent some time together. If left alone, she starts saying strange nonsense.”

“Enough, you.”

“Oh, you’re back to the concept. Character building, but it doesn’t really make you look younger, does it? Is that trendy in nursing homes?”

“Hey, do you want to die?”

Han Su-young threw away her concept and glared at me. This time, it seemed she was genuinely angry. Honestly, it was a little scary. The expression on her face seemed like she wanted to hit me right then and there. It was a mistake. I had scratched too deep. But I boldly stayed silent. But so what? Was she going to hit me? Here? I pretended to act tough.

“Do I look like a woman who cares about her reputation?”

Of course, it had no effect on Han Su-young.

“Haah, since I’ve done some things myself, I’ll let you off the hook this time. I don’t know if we’ll meet again, but if you pull something like this again…, I won’t be able to forgive you easily.”

In the end, Han Su-young decided to hold back her anger. I didn’t know the reason. Was there a reason to hold back? But whatever Han Su-young desired, I didn’t want to grant it. I couldn’t. While her words mixed seriousness and concept, there was probably no lie.

But, Han Su-young still had a weapon left.

“By the way, do you really think you can say all that and expect to listen to my story?”

…This was expected. I regretted my outburst of anger from a moment ago. However, if I went back, the situation wouldn’t be much different. In the end, I had to rely on Han Su-young’s mercy this time.

“I believe you’re not a narrow-minded person, so you will definitely tell me.”

“Damn, do you really want to die?”

“Pardon?”

“Hmm?”

I was taken aback by Han Su-young, who suddenly showed her anger. Why was she angry all of a sudden? I didn’t say anything much this time, really.

“…Forget it. It’s not like I’m dealing with a child.”

“What do you mean?”

“It means shut up.”

“Then will you tell me the story?”

“I was going to tell it from the start. To be honest, it’s nothing special.”

I hadn’t come expecting amazing information. But I wanted to see even a thread that was no different from scraps.

I had let go of my lingering feelings for my mother. But that was because I had entrusted that feeling to Hwa-won, and still, a small ember remained within me. Han Su-young knew how to kindle that ember.

Separate from that lingering feeling, I still missed my mother.

Memories I thought I had forgotten surged forth. Han Su-young had uncorked the bottle for me.

“It’s better not to have too high expectations. This is ultimately just the dessert. It was a bait to call you here.”

I had already sensed that halfway through. There was no more important story to Han Su-young than the one about Hwa-won. But the moment I saw the letter, I simply couldn’t ignore the bait.

Perhaps… I might regret hearing this story here. I didn’t know what kind of story would come out, but I was already worried. Yet, the story had begun.

“When you were abandoned, your name was written as Seol-guk, right? But you lived with your mother when you were very young. Under such circumstances, would a person usually raise a child without registering their birth? If Seol-guk was registered as your birth name, wouldn’t it be possible to find information about your mother at the orphanage you were at? Honestly, your name is quite unique. There’s probably only one person with that name in this country. There aren’t even 100 people in this country named Guk. I can’t understand why you would give such a name.”

It was no different than an insult to my name, but I didn’t care. I also had many grievances regarding this name, and more importantly, the intention behind Han Su-young’s words was more important.

“What does that mean?”

I swallowed hard. My dry throat was feeling moist, but I still felt an unquenchable thirst.

And Han Su-young poured salt into that thirst.

“Your real name isn’t Seol-guk. At least at the time of your first birth registration, your name wasn’t Seol-guk.”

What kind of crazy person would name their child Seol-guk?

Did you name me something like that so I could be a swimmer?

In my head, they were both snickering at each other. It was a joke that wasn’t funny at all.

“Then this name is….”

“It’s a new name given to hide one’s existence. Maybe it was taken from some random book.”

My chest hurt like it was scratched by a nail. I didn’t know if it was true. But even so, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was some truth to that conjecture.

“Of course, this is just a guess based on the assumption that your mother registered your birth. There are really rare cases where people don’t do that… It’s a dark aspect of society.”

“Then… what was my original name? What was my original name?”

I asked Han Su-young, wrapping my burning throat. It was a truth I would have preferred not to know, but I couldn’t ignore it now that I had already learned.

Oddly enough, despite the pain from this thirst, I was relieved.

I see. I had a real name. You must have had a degree of affection to name me. While that was painful, it also brought joy, and that joy was just painful.

“I tried to look for it, but there were limits. Sorry, but I couldn’t find your name in government records.”

But what Han Su-young gave me was saltwater.

This thirst remained unquenched.