“Welcome!”
With reluctant steps, I moved forward, and the store employee greeted me. I tried to step back, but Maru blocked my way. I had no choice but to move forward. Maru, noticing my hesitation, patted my shoulder and said,
“Hana, you’re becoming a proper young woman now! No need to be shy!”
Hearing Maru’s words made my mind go blank. Becoming a woman? I didn’t even want to think about it, but if I ended up having periods, I had no idea how I’d handle it. I’d rather just have my chest grow than deal with that. Even though I used to be a guy, I had learned something in school.
They said that during their periods, women’s personalities become really sharp, and they experience a lot of pain in their stomachs. Right now, since I’m in a child’s body, it doesn’t matter, but as I grow older, it might start happening. The thought of facing these realities made me feel a bit uneasy.
“Ugh… ugh!”
I let out a groan and had no choice but to enter the store. Inside, there were more women’s underwear than I had ever seen in my life, in all sorts of styles. Some were so revealing that they could easily be rated 19+. How could women wear such things and go outside? If it were me, I wouldn’t even want to wear them at home, let alone outside, because they covered so little!
“Do you have any junior bras for elementary school students?”
Maru asked the employee kindly. The employee nodded with a smile and said,
“Yes, ma’am.”
As she spoke, the employee gestured for us to follow. Maru and I walked briskly. When we reached the corner, there were some underwear that didn’t look too bad. They had simple designs, almost like tank tops. They looked like the X-shaped bands athletes wear under their shirts to measure heart rate and distance. Maru’s eyes sparkled as she picked out the underwear. I could only stare blankly beside her.
“This one might be good too…”
Maru held a junior bra up to my chest and spoke. It seemed like she was struggling to find something that would suit me. She pulled out a few junior bras and then turned to me.
“Hana, which one do you like?”
I didn’t like any of the junior bras Maru was holding. It didn’t make sense for me to wear these under a T-shirt. I regretted mentioning that my chest was feeling sore. I should’ve just endured it… Now I was stuck having to wear one of these junior bras. But I couldn’t just not buy one either.
I was going to keep growing, and I couldn’t just wear a T-shirt without anything underneath. Even in the most open-minded places, it’s rare to see women wearing clothes without a bra.
“I… I’ll take this one!”
To quickly pick something and escape, I pointed to a bra on the display table instead of the ones Maru was holding. This one at least had a plain color. Maru narrowed her eyes at my reaction.
“Hana, you’re not just picking something randomly, are you? This is something you’ll have to wear, so you should choose something prettier.”
Maru had hit my weak spot. She was right—I had picked it randomly. But to me, it looked fine… Maru’s thoughts seemed different from mine. She held the underwear close to my face and said,
“Hana! Pick one from the ones I’m holding!”
With Maru pushing me like this, I had no choice but to choose. I closed my eyes tightly and picked the one on the left that looked decent. It was a clean white bra. It seemed like it wouldn’t show through my clothes, and it looked better than the pink one next to it.
“Do you like this one? Then let’s try it on, Hana!”
“Ah…! Can’t we just buy it and go, Maru? I don’t think I need to try it on!”
“No, you should try it on first. What if the feel or something else doesn’t suit you later? You’ll have to wear it all the time!”
“Ugh…!”
I had no choice but to give in to Maru’s logic. I reluctantly took the bra from her and headed to the changing room. Inside, there was only a simple mirror. I hesitated, reluctant to take off my clothes.
Of course, I had worn one before when I became an adult, so putting it on wasn’t a problem. But back then, there was something mentally that made me less resistant to wearing it. And if I didn’t wear it, my chest would hurt because it was so big.
I held the junior bra in my hand…
I was just standing there, dazed. A tank top-like piece of underwear greeted me.
“Hana! When are you coming out? Do you need help if it’s hard to put on?”
“Ah… no, Maru! I’ll be out soon!”
If Maru came in, it would be a disaster, so I quickly took off my clothes and put on the underwear. Then I changed back into my clothes. It felt like I was wearing something inside, but it wasn’t uncomfortable or resistant. It was just underwear, so it was designed to be comfortable.
When I came out of the changing room, Maru spun around to check me out. But it was hidden under my T-shirt, so she couldn’t see it. Plus, it was white, so it wouldn’t show through.
“Hmm… I can’t tell just by looking. How does it feel, Hana? If it’s uncomfortable, should we get something else?”
“No! I like this one, Maru.”
I quickly said I liked it because if I said I didn’t, I’d probably end up changing underwear all day like a robot. Maru raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything since I said I liked it. She clapped her hands and decided.
“Then let’s buy a few more like this!”
Maru picked up several similar ones. Probably because if I only had one, I wouldn’t have a spare when it was in the wash. It made sense, but the thought of buying multiple pairs of underwear made me feel a bit uneasy. One was enough, but multiple? Ugh.
Unaware of my feelings, Maru hummed a tune as she picked out more underwear. Before I knew it, she had a whole basket full and went to the checkout. Of course, she used the company card.
“That’ll be 160,000 won, ma’am.”
“Okay, I’ll pay by card.”
I couldn’t believe this tiny piece of fabric cost 160,000 won for five pairs. If I were still a guy, I could’ve gotten three pairs of boxers for less than 30,000 won. Women’s underwear was ridiculously expensive. Sure, I had money, but spending it on underwear? Life was unpredictable.
If you told me a year ago that I’d be buying women’s underwear, I’d have laughed and called you crazy. Then I’d have asked you to tell me which coins would skyrocket in the future instead.
“Hana, you’re becoming a mature woman now. No need to be gloomy!”
Maru noticed I was down and tried to cheer me up with her energetic vibes. But sadly, her encouragement didn’t help. The thought of having to wear this stuff forever made my head spin. Even though I’m a girl now, I never dreamed I’d have to wear this kind of underwear.
And later, when I get older, there’ll be even more important things. Who knows how I’ll change then? I just prayed I wouldn’t age. But despite my prayers, my body was growing, little by little.
Growing wasn’t a bad thing, but for me, it wasn’t great news. I wanted to grow taller, but I also hoped my chest wouldn’t get bigger and that secondary sexual characteristics wouldn’t show up. It was a conflicting feeling.
“Ugh…”
I let out a dying sound and clung to Maru. She thought I was tired from shopping and lifted me up, kissing my cheek.
“Hana! Let’s go get something delicious today! I’ll buy you all the snacks you love!”
My ears perked up at Maru’s words. My low energy started to rise.
“Really?”
“Yep! You worked hard today, so you deserve a treat!”
“Oooooh!”
My eyes sparkled as I imagined all the snacks Maru would buy me. The events from earlier were completely forgotten. All I could think about was the snacks Maru was going to get me.
