201st Episode: Confession
“Auntie… Are you fighting?”
The silence and tension were broken by the delicate voice of a young girl.
We turned our heads simultaneously. A girl who had been hiding behind the altar of the cathedral was looking at us with tearful eyes.
“Penny.”
Skaro called out the girl’s name with a look of realization.
‘She’s the one from earlier…’
I stared carefully at the tiny girl.
I remembered seeing her briefly before. She was the girl afflicted with black blood disease I bumped into earlier in the day.
The green-haired girl with crimson eyes who glared at me then quickly ran away was now standing before us, sobbing.
“Froggy Uncle, please don’t fight. You mustn’t. Yeah, you mustn’t.”
The green-haired girl… Penny kept repeating “you mustn’t fight” and soon began to cry uncontrollably.
“Uhh… waaaahhh.”
Shiver. Her long antennae on her temples trembled as her tears fell.
The six thin wings on her back rippled in resonance.
“Ho ho. What a bother.”
Skaro approached Penny with a somewhat flustered expression and began to console her by gently stroking her back.
“Who’s fighting, Penny? We’re not fighting. Your friend and I were just messing around a bit.”
“Playing…? R, really?”
“Of course. Have you ever seen me lie?”
“… hiccough. No.”
Soon after, both Penny and Skaro’s gazes turned on me.
The soaked eyes of Penny who had just managed to stop crying and the pleading eyes of Skaro who wanted a little help. Together, they made quite the troubling stares.
Unable to do anything else, I could only shake my head gently.
“Of course. You shouldn’t pick fights with your friends. Right.”
It was lucky that we didn’t show the children something truly terrible. With a bitter smile, I suppressed my killing intent entirely.
Looking at Penny, it was evident she was still on high alert against me. I distanced myself further by moving near the boiling cauldron in the tent corner.
“Hey, Hero.”
Just then, Lucy who had quietly stood next to me suddenly addressed me. I threw her a sidelong glance.
Lucy’s eyes couldn’t hide her interest as she looked at the green-haired girl.
“That… I, just have something to talk about with that young human, so could I go for a bit?”
“Talk? What kind of talk?”
“Well, I just want to talk about how the world works or something.”
A 140-year-old immortal demon king who knows nothing about the world wanting to have a conversation with a kid under ten about current events? This wasn’t an American fantasy sitcom, was it?
It was so absurd that I hadn’t laughed in a long time. I grabbed Lucy’s cheeks and stretched them.
“Stop talking nonsense. What’s the real reason? Speak up.”
“Arghhh! I’m serious! I just want to talk. I’m only really interested in that young human!”
“… Interested in what? Does her head of spinach-green hair strike you as tasty?”
“Taste! Taste my ass, is that what a real person says? You heartless hero! She’s pitiful! The kid’s already suffering from a fatal disease, and I just want to offer her some comfort!”
I was speechless for a moment.
The strength drained from my body, and I even let go of Lucy’s cheeks.
Lucy didn’t miss her chance. She quickly distanced herself while puffing her cheeks, throwing a nasty glance my way.
“Hmph. Hmph hah.”
I chuckled dryly.
Both the completely unexpected response and the sincerity in her expressions confused me.
I had seen that expression before. It was similar to how Lucy looked when she was handing out food to slum children at Crossfade.
‘… You’ve really changed. Unlike before.’
Lucy had begun feeling empathy for humans in her previous life.
Even if my memories were mostly gone, it seemed that Lucy’s reform was real. I was experiencing it now.
Should I be happy or sad? I can’t quite decide. Either way, dealing with her had become exhausting. In the end, I loosely waved my hands, signaling Lucy that she could go.
“Alright then, I’ll be back! Show-off! Teach me something about talking to human kids!”
“Eh? Wha-?”
With a spirited pace, Lucy walked towards Penny and Skaro.
Yuria, who had been covering her mouth the entire time and subtly implying “how can I talk to this dense demon king,” was pulled along with Lucy.
Skaro looked at the two women approaching with some apprehension before giving them a warm, characteristic smile.
“Well, Penny, these friends want to get to know you. Let’s greet them, shall we?”
“……”
Penny hid behind Skaro’s legs and stared at the two women. She reminded me of our first meeting.
Her antennae trembled slightly as she cautiously made her greeting.
“… Hello. Sisters.”
Both women immediately melted at her irresistibly cute demeanor like bees to a flower. They promptly surrounded Penny.
Soon enough, the two along with Skaro engaged Penny in an animated conversation.
“……”
Their exact conversation wasn’t audible from where I stood.
I didn’t particularly want to hear it. Instead, I chose to silently observe their harmonious interaction.
How should I describe it? It felt like being a parent who has become too work-focused, unable to properly communicate with their family anymore.
“… Phew. Things have finally settled down a bit.”
About twenty minutes later, Skaro wiped the sweat off his forehead and approached me.
Glancing over at Penny, she was fast asleep, nurtured by Yuria and Lucy’s care, despite the challenging environment.
I marveled at how their nurturing skills had improved in my absence.
“… Who is that kid anyway? With the green hair, it makes me wonder if she’s some child of yours stashed away in the Alternative World?”
I teased him with that remark. Of course, it was all in jest.
Skaro chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of his head as he replied.
“Just someone I met here. Women usually avoid me regardless of age, but strangely, she follows me around… this situation just kind of developed. Kehehe.”
Though his grating laugh remained, his gaze towards Penny held an indescribable depth of affection.
I had my suspicions now. I muttered under my breath like a sigh.
“With your becoming a caregiver, it must have made it even harder to leave Aldcon behind. I can now fully empathize with how desperately Aldcon must have crawled back in your place?”
“Keheht, you as always are rather sharp with such things.”
Skaro gave a casual stir to the bubbling cauldron with a ladle.
Even if being too nice sometimes is a sickness— though it’s not something I should talk about after surviving the Test Tent—I still said it.
“Doesn’t it scare you?”
“What do you mean?”
“There’s nothing known about the Black Blood Disease—its causes, modes of transmission, or treatments. Doesn’t it terrify you to stick around here without knowing when you might die?”
Dulduk, Dulduk. Skaro kept mindlessly stirring the cauldron.
Then, at some point, Skaro began to slowly stroll among the patients, laughing feignedly.
“Kehehe. Nonsense. Both you and me, weren’t we already dead once before coming to this world? Why should dying now be any scarier?”
“Quit your nonsense, Skaro. If your neck gets chopped off.”
“……”
“Yes. I’ve experienced death before, so I know. There’s no way that such an X-like experience doesn’t instill fear in you. One doesn’t become used to something like that, does one?”
At my questioning, Skaro halted his steps. His gaze was fixed on one of the patients.
Coincidentally, we stopped in front of Aldcon. I instinctively closed my mouth.
“You’re wrong, my friend.”
In front of Aldcon, Skaro knelt as if making a confession. With a sincere voice, he spoke.
“Before being reborn as a hero in this world, I was just a tool. I lived for 320 years as a mercenary who killed people.”
“… Yes?”
“At that time, I truly wasn’t afraid of dying. If I became useless, I would die, just like the countless others I’ve killed. That was the norm.”
“……”
“I wasn’t really alive back then. Tools don’t die. They are simply discarded once they’ve outlived their usefulness.”
Suddenly, Skaro looked at me. His meaningful golden eyes pierced straight into mine.
Then, turning away, he continued speaking.
“But now, you’re right. Now, I’m terrified—of me, the stubborn old fart… and of Penny. And you as well. The deaths surrounding me have become unbearably frightening.”
“… Skaro.”
The sleek face of Skaro I could faintly see was soaked with tears. His enormous golden eyes were covered as he cried quietly.
Even with over 320 years of age, he still had that touch of masculinity. He clearly didn’t want to show me this side.
“What regrets drove me to be reborn in this world? If living was going to be this painful, it would have been better to remain a tool and be discarded. Kehehht.”
“……”
I could find no words to say.
I understand well how it feels to be terrified by the deaths surrounding oneself.
And Skaro began questioning me with an urgent tone.
“I’ve seen countless heroes throughout this world, and they all have a common trait. Do you know what it is?”
“What is it?”
“Originally, they were all people pushed to the brink in their original worlds. People so low in society that thinking about returning home would be laughable. In my opinion, that might just be the largest condition of being a hero.”
“……”
I quietly reflected on my life back on Earth.
It’s true. Though I complain daily about how terrible life here is—I have no desire to return to Earth.
Earth life was, truly, just leftover existence. A life so hollow that I could have gone anytime without much regret.
‘Is it the same for others?’
Seseona, Seop Baek, Aldcon, Grenade, and even the Skaro before my eyes.
Skaro tightly grasped my trouser leg and murmured with his head bowed.
“Friend, why do you continue living?”
“… Why?”
“In such a world full of suffering, there must be some purpose for continuing to live, right? Teach me like during the Test Tent.”
Why do you live?
Why does there need to be a reason? Whether it’s the first round or the 150th, you just struggle until you hit your limit.
X life. What a ridiculous question.
“Skaro, when I was a kid, my father said something.”
I tried hard to make my thoughts sound sensible but soon shook my head. In the end, I decided to simply open up and say what I thought.
I scoured the few memories I had of talking with my taciturn father.
“Toys have reasons for existing. Humans don’t need reasons to be born or live, so he said the meaning of life comes from its lack of reason.”
“… Hooh.”
The problem might lie in the context of this exchange.
Back then, I was eight. For an elementary school moral class, there was an assignment to ask our parents why they chose their current jobs, and I gave them that nonsense.
What an insane father, isn’t he?
“To be honest, I still have no idea what that gibberish meant, but living life made it seem like I’m starting to understand. If I must pin it down, the only goal in my life is to delay my own death, but that’s not the reason I live. I just happen to be alive, so I continue. There’s no reason.”
Before I knew it, I was delivering a long-winded speech. I usually detest moralizing elders.
With a shrug of my shoulders, I dismissed it all.
“It’s confusing. I hate this kind of floating talk the most. Let’s stop.”
For a while, Skaro stared blankly at my face.
Then he exuded a vacant laugh.
“Kehehe. That’s worthy of your father. It’s like a maxim one could engrave on their heart.”
“You’re the first person who sees greatness in my father other than me.”
Skaro flopped down beside the sleeping Aldcon. I followed cautiously and stared fixedly at his back.
There, Skaro continued his explanation, his tone notably more relieved than before.
“How much do you know about a woman named Altear?”
“How much?”
“Do you know about her past? About the runaway heroes she’s dealing with? Why she’s trying to stop you from getting close to Zadkiel?”
“… No, I don’t.”
Shaking my head, Skaro gave a knowing smile as if expecting my ignorance. He gazed endlessly at Aldcon’s twisted face and spoke.
“I’m not asking you to sympathize. Altear didn’t share her story for compassion.”
Skaro ended his introduction with that phrase.
Then, he began recounting her story: how she handled events during her past as the ‘Angel of Death,’ why she has been aiding fugitive heroes, and why she remains with them in the present.
“If truly you had the power to kill Zadkiel… no, even more because you might—she’d likely try to kill you.”
And he told me stories about Zadkiel’s supposed death.
The tales included what would happen to the current black blood disease patients if Zadkiel’s dead body were to disappear.
For some time, I couldn’t open my mouth. Only heavy sighs escaped.
“The decision… I’ll leave it to you. I deeply apologize, my friend.”
Skaro bowed deeply towards me in anguish. Then, as if finished speaking, he kept drinking his wine.
I, who had turned into a rock, offered my farewell while facing Skaro’s back. I paid my utmost respects possible.
“First off, there’s no need to apologize. That’s what friends do for each other.”
Skaro furrowed his eyebrows and smiled. I added a smirk to my own words.
“Among the thousands or tens of thousands of heroes I’ve seen in this world, the only one deserving the title of true hero is you, Skaro. Including me.”
“……”
“Don’t be disheartened, Hero sir. You’re a damn fine person.”
After that, we emerged outside without further significant conversation.
Yuria and Lucy, who had been waiting silently, quickly followed after me.
“… Ah. Hmm.”
Beside me, Yuria tried to speak with an expression of many things to say but soon quieted down, trailing obediently behind me. Lucy shared similar behavior.
Perhaps it was due to the firm ‘Do Not Disturb’ aura I emitted from my entire being.
