The first viewer ran away just 1 second after entering.
“No! Why are you leaving, you damn bastard!”
I immediately cursed them out.
That viewer had already left and couldn’t hear me, though.
‘What’s wrong? Was I too brutally honest?’
It feels like I messed up the first button.
Thinking about it, cursing at someone I just met wasn’t the best move.
But what can I do?
I was too excited that a viewer came in and couldn’t control myself.
‘Sigh… Next time, I’ll curse as gently as possible to the viewer who comes in.’
I calmed my excited heart.
And waited for another viewer.
‘Will I have to wait another few dozen minutes this time?’
It’s boring.
I feel like I’m going to get depressed again.
But I can endure it.
The excitement I felt when the viewer came in is still vivid.
I don’t even know how long it’s been since I felt that excited.
‘…Wait. Maybe streaming suits me?’
Maybe it does.
Lately, I’ve been feeling increasingly lethargic.
After being discharged from the military, I felt like my life was over, and that emptiness has persisted until now.
Breaking out of this emptiness and finding stimulation wasn’t easy.
New games, new music, new movies.
No matter what new thing I tried, I felt indifferent.
If I had to pick something that made me happy recently…
When the house I started building before enlisting was completed after discharge. When I got a new car this morning.
And… that’s about it.
Is spending money fun?
I tried splurging to convince myself it was, but it wasn’t enjoyable at all.
But getting excited just because I turned on a stream and one viewer came in? That was a surprising discovery.
‘If just one person can make me feel like this, how would I feel if dozens came in?’
I became interested.
My anticipation grew.
Even though it’s only the first day, I felt like challenging myself to stream was the right decision.
‘But did I even like talking to people? No, no. I wasn’t excited because I was talking to a viewer, right?’
At the same time, I had doubts.
I’m not sure what part of it excited me.
‘Am I just feeling catharsis from someone watching me?’
That doesn’t seem to be it either.
I never liked being on stage.
‘…If it’s not that, then maybe.’
Was I just lonely?
Come to think of it, even though it was tough in the military, I never felt as bored as I do now.
‘Was that why re-enlisting crossed my mind…?’
Let me say it again.
I have absolutely no intention of re-enlisting.
Anyway, I accidentally figured out the cause of my boredom.
Once I realized the cause, light began to seep into my life, which had been so dark that I wouldn’t have been surprised if I had ended it. And that light was leaking from the small box in front of me.
‘Streaming was the answer after all.’
Getting a job or joining a club is out of the question for my personality.
Re-enlisting is not an option.
I could go to college if I just paid the tuition, but I have bad memories of school, so that’s impossible.
In the end, whether it’s streaming, making friends in a game guild, or random chatting.
The only place I’ll end up is in the online space.
‘Alright. Since I’ve started streaming, I’ll give it my all.’
With that determination, I looked at the monitor.
There were still 0 viewers.
The lack of traffic is too much.
But I won’t give up.
I just need to find what’s lacking and improve it.
First, the lack of traffic means the stream title isn’t attention-grabbing.
The current title is 「Honest Newbie Day 1」.
It’s definitely not a title that would attract attention.
‘Should I make it a bit more provocative?’
I changed the title.
To 「Hot Newbie!」.
‘It’s a bit vulgar, but it should attract attention.’
I thought about changing my nickname too, but I figured no one comes in because of a nickname, so I dropped it.
By the way, my nickname is just my real name, ‘Gye Se-hoon’.
Anyway, I changed the title.
Another way to attract attention is to turn on the camera, but…
I started streaming on a whim, so there’s no way I have broadcasting equipment.
‘I can just order it now. These days, it arrives in a day.’
As I was thinking that…
『‘Curly Hair on the Lips’ has entered the room.』
“Oh, shit!”
The second viewer entered the room.
***
─What? Shit? Shiiit?
I cursed out of excitement.
I can’t let this viewer leave either.
I spoke in the gentlest voice possible.
“Ah, sorry. That slipped out. Haha…”
─If saying sorry solved everything, why would we need laws and police?
“…Huh?”
─And why do you keep using informal speech?
Something felt off.
It felt like a troublemaker had entered.
The vibe was weird, but I decided to keep the conversation positive.
─Hey, aren’t you gonna answer? When did we meet for you to use informal speech?
“Isn’t informal speech the norm on the internet? And you’re using it too.”
─Yeah, that’s true. Sexsexdick.
“…What the hell is this guy?”
─What? This guy? How dare you call a heavenly viewer ‘this guy’?
“Ah, sorry. That slipped out again.”
─Do you think saying sorry fixes everything, you bastard?
“……”
─Not gonna answer?
─Tsk. Look at this guy.
─I thought your voice was hot, so I was gonna let it slide, but nah.
─If you moan like a baby in 5 seconds, I’ll let it slide.
─5.
─4.
─3.
I was getting heated.
I wanted people to come in, not a chimpanzee who knows how to type.
I don’t need this kind of idiot.
“Fuck off, you bastard. You pig-faced bitch with thick fingers probably covered in weeds, acting all high and mighty on the internet. Just get lost.”
『‘Curly Hair on the Lips’ has been banned.』
Successfully exterminated the pest.
‘What kind of weirdos are showing up?’
As I looked at the now empty chat window, I sighed.
That moment felt strange.
My heart raced when the viewer came in.
But after that, instead of feeling happy, I just felt stressed.
Why was that?
Because the viewer was toxic?
No. The root cause was something else.
It was because I was hiding myself.
I wanted the viewer to stay, so I tried to hide my true self, and that made me feel suffocated.
The proof was that when I cursed them out and banned them, I felt a sense of relief.
‘Like I thought at the beginning, I shouldn’t force myself to act nice.’
By now, I realized.
To solve my chronic boredom, I need to reveal my true self without hesitation. Trying to shake off loneliness with a fake persona is useless.
A fabricated version of me isn’t me.
It’s just an actor.
In the end, mingling with people to ease loneliness is just a virtual existence, not me.
That way, I couldn’t solve the root of my loneliness.
‘Now I understand why I wasn’t lonely in the military.’
Back then, I didn’t hide myself.
And people accepted me for who I was.
I was looking for people who would accept my true self, just like back then.
‘Let’s stop here for today. The camera will arrive tomorrow morning, so I’ll start again tomorrow.’
From tomorrow, I’ll act the way I want.
If I keep streaming, I’ll eventually get viewers who like my style.
The number doesn’t matter.
More would be better, but a few is fine too.
I don’t need sponsorships.
I have more than enough money.
And since it’s a world where genders are reversed…
Cursing as a man might not be well-received, but that’s something I’ll have to endure.
…Wait, no.
Thinking about it, I don’t have to endure it.
Why should I stress over it?
If a viewer annoys me, I’ll just ban them.
I can ignore community reactions.
It’s fine.
Streaming is just a hobby for me.
***
I was speechless.
‘…How dare you ban me?’
You’re so arrogant for a rookie.
Banning viewers when you have zero viewers?
You’re completely insane.
Do you think streaming is easy just because you’re a man?
This industry isn’t that simple.
No matter how rare men are, if you’re mediocre, you won’t survive.
Especially if you’re a ‘Durahan’.
‘You don’t know how precious viewers are… Anyway, you messed with the wrong person. I’ll chase you to the end and make sure you can’t stream.’
Even if I get banned and blocked, it doesn’t matter.
I can make hundreds of accounts if I have the money.
‘Did you turn off the stream today? You’re not quitting already, are you?’
Please come back tomorrow.
I’ll torment you thoroughly.
***
***
***
That rookie streamer turned on the stream again.
‘You’re starting late. I’ve been waiting since morning. Anyway, you’re done for. Let’s go in.’
『‘Curly Hair on the Lips’ has entered the room.』
‘Huh? What’s this? Did this guy turn on the camera today? Desperate because you have no viewers?’
It was funny.
Do you think turning on the camera will make your stream blow up?
If you think that, you’re sorely mistaken.
If you’re a male streamer, you can’t make it with just an average face.
Just because there are fewer men in the world doesn’t mean women’s standards have dropped.
Especially in male streaming, there are tons of handsome guys.
In real life, all kinds of women would flock to them, but not in this industry. Tsk tsk.
‘They must think people will suck up to them just because they’re men.’
The camera angle wasn’t adjusted yet, so I couldn’t see his face.
But he’s probably just an average guy.
A handsome guy wouldn’t curse so vulgarly like he did yesterday.
─Lol, this guy turned on the camera? Let’s see your face.
“Huh? Isn’t this the idiot I banned yesterday? I’m pretty sure I blacklisted you… Wait. It’s not ‘Curly Hair,’ it’s ‘Curly Hair.’ Are you the same person? If so, I’ll ban you.”
The camera angle shifted.
Then the rookie streamer’s face came into view.
……
It came into view.
…Huh?
Did I see that?
Something’s wrong with my eyes.
“Why aren’t you saying anything? Are you the same person as that idiot from yesterday?”
I couldn’t type in the chat.
I was too confused.
What am I looking at right now?
Is that really a human face?
I couldn’t even describe it.
He’s handsome.
That word doesn’t even do justice to his heavenly looks.
He perfectly matched my ideal type that I’ve always dreamed of.
‘Crazy! Crazy! What is this?! He could turn other male streamers into squids!’
He looked like an angel descended from heaven.
I even heard the sound of bells praising angels…
Wait, I’m actually hearing it.
Am I hallucinating?
No matter how much I rub my ears, the bell sounds won’t stop.
Maybe this is fate’s way of bringing us together.
It was a reasonable suspicion.
“If you don’t answer, I’ll just ban you?”
‘Huh? Ah, no! I need to apologize for yesterday first… But first, I need to recharge…!’
I quickly opened the payment window and recharged.
Then, without a second thought, I sent a donation.
『‘Curly Hair on the Lips’ has donated 100,000 won.』
└I deeply regret and reflect on what happened yesterday. I must have been crazy yesterday. Please forgive me…
“Fuck off, you bitch.”
『You have been banned.』
Ah……
My little angel…
My world crumbled that day.