Chapter 197

Chapter 19. Symbols and Idols

“You’re not as scared today, huh?”

“…I wasn’t that scared last time either.”

“Really? But didn’t you look a bit uneasy?”

Seeing Ria tilt her head, I couldn’t help but laugh.

It’s been a while… though I’ve only been up here once.

On the roof of the church building.

“Honestly, I don’t get why we have to think for a moment on a roof so high up.”

“Well, no one else is here besides us.”

If I looked down, I could see a few nuns looking up at us, but hey, if we don’t see them, it doesn’t matter.

“And isn’t it nice up high? The view is amazing.”

“……”

This isn’t the highest point in town.

But with all the hills around, the landscape was quite visible, even from this height. The buildings, which seemed to have been built climbing what used to be a ridge, looked beautiful bathed in the sunset glow.

“And you have something to say, right?”

Ria looked at me and smiled slightly. The silhouette of Ria against the warm sunset was charming.

No, Ria would look pretty no matter what she does. I like her that much.

I could guess the reason why Ria wanted me to come up here.

It must be about what happened today, like when I voiced my thoughts in front of the Pope.

To be honest, I’m a bit scared.

Even though it was just acting, I indirectly told my friend that I loved her. Saying ‘I love you’ to a ‘friend’… It’s not something I can’t say, but that ‘love’ is different from the ‘love’ I spoke of today.

The love I spoke of meant, quite literally, the love between lovers.

That can’t be called a confession. It was just words spoken in a situation of ‘lie’ or ‘acting.’

“……Ria.”

I cautiously called Ria.

“Yes?”

“What do you think about what I said today?”

“For example?”

“……”

Even though she knows what I want to say, Ria playfully asked back. Her face was beaming; it looked like she was teasing me.

“I said we love each other.”

“Um.”

Ria fell into a brief thought.

“You said it was method acting, right? So, I don’t mind. If it weren’t that serious, they might not have believed it anyway.”

Even if they didn’t believe it, maybe that would be enough. For those people, a kiss or a sexual act between the same gender is itself considered blasphemous.

However, despite that, I still said I loved Ria in that moment—my feelings were genuinely reflected in the story I wanted to tell.

“Or—”

Ria paused, suddenly going quiet.

“Ria?”

“Nothing.”

With a somewhat serious expression, Ria spoke.

I hesitated for a moment.

Is it okay if I suddenly say I love her here?

Would it sound too sudden? Looking at Ria’s actions so far, she seems somewhat accepting of this kind of relationship with a girl, but—

“……”

In the end, I just kept pondering and couldn’t say anything.

In this world, I still have a lot of fears regarding these matters. I kept thinking various thoughts, worrying that the outcome might turn out to be the worst.

What if I crossed a line? Ria has gone this far for me; am I just imagining things?

This lack of romantic experience is truly a nightmare.

“……Anna.”

Ria opened the door.

“You’re planning to drive those guys away, right?”

“Yes, I am.”

I could answer that question.

“Do you think that’s possible? Those who act like that across so many worlds—can they really be pushed away in one decisive victory?”

“……”

I fell into thought for a moment.

I think it is possible. Honestly, I don’t have any real basis for that.

It’s just that the stories I’ve read were web novels.

Though I couldn’t read through to the end, I’m sure it must end with driving those demon race folks away.

Well, it’s a novel, so it could have a happy or unhappy ending—

Which is why I’m more scared.

Whether Ria accepts my words or rejects them.

If I get swept away in that situation somehow, it would wound Ria deeply. After all, she is kind and considerate by nature.

“Well, I suppose we won’t know until we try.”

“That makes sense.”

Ria nodded at my response.

We stayed there until the sun completely set.

This time, there was no one getting angry at us to come down.

*

“You said it was method acting, right? So, I don’t mind. They might not have believed it anyway.”

Ria said that, and I had a somewhat mischievous thought.

Maybe I should press Anna a little.

“Or—”

What if it was true?

But those words got stuck in my throat and couldn’t come out.

That was, quite literally, putting pressure on her.

Anna is under significant pressure, in various senses. The expectations of countless people. The anxiety that she might have to rise up.

Although she always pretends to be unfazed, it’s actually challenging for one person to bear all of that.

Moreover, the reward for all that pressure is just one emotion she feels. The world doesn’t propose massive rewards while suggesting Anna take the position of a saintess. The government wants to use Anna to promote themselves.

If Anna truly loves Ria, that fact would only add more pressure onto her.

Though the world has changed, the world Anna lived in was still quite conservative. While Anna seems to have no objections to her actions with Ria, there might be some wall in her mind.

Even if she wants to break through that wall, the courage required to do so won’t be small at all.

And.

If Anna really says she loves Ria, and Ria accepts that confession.

How far would Anna go for her beloved?

“Ria?”

Anna called out again, sensing something odd about Ria suddenly going quiet.

“Nothing.”

Ria decided not to say anything.

She would just wait next to Anna.

Until Anna someday conveys her true feelings to Ria. Someday, until they can shed all the pressure they feel and hold hands.

*

The Pope didn’t seem to plan on going straight back.

Well, after being on a plane for over ten hours, moving right away must be quite tough, even for a healthy old man.

“I also want to know more about this country while I’m here. I’ve never really traveled to other countries.”

The Pope, with his usual lavish papal robes, looked like an excited grandfather experiencing his first foreign trip.

No, he was probably someone close to finding joy in this.

Someone who didn’t flaunt his authority.

“Then…”

“Sister, let’s just delay your ascension to the position of saintess a while longer.”

The Pope smiled and said.

“I can’t force someone who doesn’t want to, can I? Honestly, I would have opposed it even without that sort of ‘acting.'”

“But… then, your position as the Pope…”

“Is my position really that significant? I’m not so sure.”

When the Pope responded that way, I found myself at a loss for words.

For a brief moment, silence fell between us.

“Sister Anna.”

“Yes, Your Holiness.”

“Still, what you did wasn’t without meaning.”

“……”

“You and Sister Maria, you both know each other well enough. If one side were deceiving the other or if they couldn’t even communicate, perhaps it would need reconsideration—but you, Sister Anna, would definitely think deeply about it.”

“I am—”

I was about to say what I did yesterday was acting, but I stopped.

Right now, it’s just the two of us. Even Sister Maria and Ria are waiting outside.

Even if the Pope knows that my feelings are genuine, he wouldn’t blab about it to others.

“……I… am… allowed to like Ria, right?”

“Who says it’s not okay?”

“No, it’s not that…”

“Sister Anna. You’re the most independent person among all the sisters I have seen until now. Would anyone dare to claim ‘God isn’t real’ when standing before such an overwhelming divine presence? Not because they think there’s nothing there from the outset, but because they are already aware of the existence of a powerful entity above.”

“……”

“If that being says you shouldn’t, would you listen?”

“No, I…”

Maybe I’ll live with these feelings until the end.

No matter what kind of conclusion comes from it.

“Then, I think it’s okay to follow your heart. Love isn’t something that can be stopped just because someone says not to. At least granting ‘permission’ isn’t something I can do.”

“Is that so?”

I nodded.

“Perhaps the choice you’ve made, Sister Anna, could provide some other form of salvation to certain people.”

The Pope said.

“So, your answer was courageous in that respect. You can take pride in your feelings, Sister Anna—why not?”

When I tried to respond to that, I found nothing to say and just lightly nodded my head.