Chapter 194

I can’t remember when it was. Was it when I fell, or when I broke the glass piece my mother cherished… At least it must have been when my mother was still alive. She wiped my tears with her handkerchief and said this:

“My son, a man doesn’t cry over such trivial things. No matter how hard it gets, you can endure it bravely without crying, right? I’m sorry for always leaving you alone. But just bear with it a little longer.”

“Yes, Mother…”

My mother held me with a sad expression.

“I’m sorry for always leaving you behind.”

After that day, I never cried again. People around me praised me, saying I had matured and become a dependable son.

I can’t remember when it was. At least it must have been when my father was still alive. He grabbed my shoulder and said this:

“Damian, when I die, you will be the head of this household. You must protect your younger siblings. Understood?”

“Yes, Father.”

My father patted my head.

“…I’m sorry. You’ve had to grow up too quickly because of us. At your age, you should be crying and throwing tantrums loudly…”

After that day, I always prioritized my siblings over myself. I put them first, took the blame for their mistakes, and shielded them from trouble. People praised me for being a good older brother.

But I didn’t really know why I did it. I just thought it would make my mother and father happy. They were always busy, and I didn’t want to become another burden for them.

One day, I tried to leave as usual without any guards. If the guards followed, they would stop me from going to the slums. Most of my siblings were either frail or too young, so the servants rarely had time to pay attention to me. If I sneaked out and came back quickly, no one would notice. Besides, both my mother and father were away that day.

But there was a problem. Before I could step out of the house, Lady Glacia caught me. In our household, even if she wasn’t my birth mother, we were taught to call her “Mother.”

“Are you going out again?”

“…Yes.”

“Unless it’s Lady Lorcha or Lord Werner, you’ll go out no matter how much I warn you, won’t you?”

“…Yes. Are you going to tell them?”

Her hand was harsh. Once, during a fight with another child, I unknowingly used magic and almost killed them. After hearing the story, my mother scolded me severely. She was furious that I had used such magic in a childish fight and almost killed someone.

But what hurt more than the pain was my mother’s sad face.

“No. You must have your own reasons. You’re a thoughtful child.”

“…Thank you.”

As I was about to leave, Lady Glacia grabbed my hand and gave me a pouch filled with sweets.

“And I heard you gave your own snack to Rachel when she dropped hers and started crying. You should repay that kindness.”

“I’m sorry, Lady Glacia. I don’t like sweet things. Please give them to Rachel.”

“I already gave some to Rachel. Besides, I made these myself, so try them. I even wrote down the recipe because I wanted to make them with my daughter later.”

“…Thank you.”

The sweets I secretly ate on my way out were very sweet. I didn’t dislike them. No, they were delicious. I thought it would be nice if she made them again.

—

The air in the slums was always refreshing. It was a mix of alcohol, strange medicine, and musty smells, but it was still more refreshing than the air where nobles gathered. As usual, I knocked on the door of our hideout. A familiar voice came from inside.

“What are you here to buy?”

It was a request for the password.

“One heron and two crows.”

The door opened, and everyone inside welcomed me. They were people I could call friends, though I had joined this group by chance after helping a kid who was being beaten up.

“Why are you so late? You’re our squad leader.”

“I walk slower than you guys. Besides, I got caught on the way. And stop calling me squad leader, it’s embarrassing.”

It was weird because I was the second youngest here.

“Why did our leader officially make you the squad leader…”

“If you say any more, I’ll seriously hit you.”

Then my friend Elina ran to the leader, crying. The leader punched me hard on the head and scolded me.

“You foolish boy, you don’t understand a woman’s heart.”

“I don’t want to understand that in the first place. Besides, you’re a man too. How would you know…”

Another sharp punch hit my head.

“Ignoring my teachings? Repay that sin with pain.”

“You’re only three years older…”

“Three years in boyhood is like thirty years in adulthood, Damian.”

These guys treated me without any reservations, even though they knew I was from a prestigious family. I might have liked that, but our leader, Neil, was way too unreserved. If he acted like this with other nobles, he would have been beheaded long ago.

“You guys are way too unreserved. You should have some reservations.”

“Only snakes and bugs have reservations, Damian.”

“That’s not what I meant…”

“Besides, we’re all family, regardless of our birth or status. You’re new, so you might not know, but we would even risk our lives for each other.”

But I already have a family. And I don’t know what kind of bizarre family game these thirteen kids are playing. If I had known, I wouldn’t have joined.

“So why did you call us here today?”

I risked getting caught and even came here after being caught by Lady Glacia. If this was for something trivial, I wouldn’t forgive them.

“Let’s play.”

“…What?”

“I just called you to play.”

“…Neil, you want to die, don’t you?”

“Damian, life is always about prioritizing. You have to protect and act on what’s most important first.”

“And how does that justify your nonsense?”

—

I was dragged into their nonsense again. The son of a prestigious family hanging out with slum kids and raiding a merchant’s warehouse? It didn’t even sound like a joke. But at least I wasn’t bored with them. Beating up thugs in the slums, raiding corrupt merchants’ warehouses, setting fire to shops that scammed the elderly and children—it was all fun.

Honestly, I hated being a sorcerer, a noble, or a knight. I just wanted to live freely on the streets with those guys.

Thinking such trivial thoughts, I sneaked back into my room through the window. Now, I just had to pretend to sleep. No, I had to do it perfectly.

“You’re very late, our son. It looks like you had quite the fun.”

“Ha… Are you planning to form some kind of brigade in the slums?”

How did my father and mother find out…? I thought they were coming back the day after tomorrow. Lady Glacia, standing in the corner, spoke with an apologetic face.

“…I’m sorry. They came back earlier than planned and started looking for you, so you got caught.”

So that’s what happened. I should have accounted for some schedule discrepancies, but I was too young to think that far.

My father asked with a troubled expression.

“First, let me ask. Why do you keep going there? Are you planning to form some kind of criminal organization? Why do you have a spider tattoo with a number on your back?”

“That’s not it…”

It wasn’t that I was forming a criminal organization—I was already working there. So it wasn’t a lie.

But when my mother asked what I had been doing there all this time, I had no choice but to answer honestly. That day, I learned for the first time that if there were a cane, my calves could catch fire.

Of course, I didn’t cry, just as my mother had taught me.

After my calves turned bright red, I was finally allowed to go out to play once a week.