Chapter 191

“The place we’re sitting is a spot where you can see Seoul well.”

Although I’m not sure if calling it the ‘downtown Seoul’ is accurate, I think it wouldn’t be totally weird if it were a small city in the countryside. The line between what’s considered downtown and what’s not is quite distinct.

But Seoul is different. It’s the largest city in this country and shows it, with fuzzy boundaries that make everything visible seem like it’s just blending together into a gradient.

In the clearly defined center of Seoul, high buildings crowd together. But as you go back, their heights gradually drop, and by the time you get near the Hanyang Fortress past Hyehwa Gate, the only noticeably tall structures around us are apartments.

I couldn’t help but wonder how Ria found such a place, but then again, it’s close to where she usually hangs out. The association isn’t far either.

Some people say Seoul looks messy and ugly because of the uneven buildings, but from up here, it doesn’t really seem that way. Once you dive into the scenery, each building just becomes a small part of the bigger picture.

Those giant buildings reflecting the sunset must be full of people. And all those cars on the roads are definitely carrying people too.

Thinking about it makes me feel like I’m just a tiny part of that crowd.

“What do you think?”

“Huh? About what?”

When I inadvertently got lost in that view I hadn’t seen in a while, Ria suddenly asked from beside me.

She let out a little giggle at my slightly dazed reply.

“I mean… what you’re feeling right now.”

“Are you asking if it’s good or bad?”

When I asked playfully, Ria shrugged.

Strangely enough, though she seemed to be trying to act as relaxed as possible, I could read discomfort on her face.

She had the expression of a high schooler planning their first date with a crush, despite being someone who could easily be called a college student.

It was peculiar.

Ria had already been on dates of sorts with me several times. And each time, it was naturally Ria who made the plans, since I, a nun, had never really wandered outside much.

Ah, right.

We weren’t wearing nun uniforms today, but regular everyday clothes.

If I think about it, the vibe of this outing as a date felt quite different.

“It’s nice.”

I thought to respond in a playful manner but decided against it.

Ria must have deliberated for days leading up to today. Kissing a Saint in front of others takes a lot of courage, even for Ria.

No, not just because she’s a Saint—it’s because I was kissing the lips of a friend, which surely would lead to all sorts of misunderstandings.

As I took a deep breath, the cold winter air felt refreshing, washing away my worries. I shivered slightly from the chill and answered again.

“Yeah, it feels nice. It’s… somehow freeing.”

Stepping away from routines handed down to me, breaking free from the lofty plans of those high up,.

Just feeling free to roam without any worries was amazing. Until now, when doing such things, I’d always been in nun garb, but now was different.

“That’s a relief.”

Ria nodded.

I scooted a little closer to her.

Perfect. To others, it looks like we’re a couple. Right now, no one is looking at us, and since we aren’t in church, there’s no need to pretend.

“It’s a bit cold.”

But I lacked the courage to just sit close without any reason, so I muttered that and slipped my arm through hers.

And leaned slightly towards her.

Ria leaned toward me too.

Maybe it was because we had been exposed to the cold air for a while, but I could feel her warmth quickly.

“…So, what happens now?”

I brought up the conversation I had been avoiding, speaking softly.

Even though she’s been helping me, Ria looked incredibly happy when she took me around here and there.

Talking about this kind of “thing” with her made me feel a bit guilty, so I kept postponing until now.

I instinctively knew the moment was approaching its end.

Ria must’ve brought me back near Hyehwa for that reason; we were walking into an area thick with people looking for us.

“Well, I don’t really know what happens after that.”

I paused for a moment.

“Do you think they’ll try to separate us?”

“Maybe. They might want to keep you around.”

If someone were to talk about ‘corruption’ regarding us, there would definitely be people looking to pin guilt on Ria.

I’m too valuable to the church for them to easily let me go.

Even if their doctrine can’t quite accept what I’ve done, I am still someone who can wield divine power.

“But I don’t think it matters too much.”

“…Really?”

“Yeah.”

When Ria said that, her head brushed lightly against mine. It felt like I was not just hearing her words but feeling them with my body, which tickled a bit.

“The most important thing is your heart.”

“…My heart.”

“Yeah.”

Ria replied calmly.

“Because I’m your knight. Not the church’s knight.”

Those words somehow choked me up.

I knew it as well. The expectations people had of me.

No matter how much I deny God, I am still a Saint Candidate. Even if I dye my hair, wear a shorter nun outfit, and strap on a belt that emphasizes my figure, I am still a nun and a Saint Candidate.

When I think about it, it’s odd. There are plenty of girls who are way more rebellious than me at the convent. Year after year, girls leave the convent upon reaching age, and they’re the ones.

Yet none of those girls were nearly as openly defiant as I am.

The nuns living at the convent all know how weak they are once they step into society.

Even if they break free, they try to draw it out for as long as possible to escape a little more stably. It’s practically a welfare system, so they wouldn’t just kick anyone out recklessly, but still, there are disadvantages.

Because of being a ‘Saint Candidate’, even though they claim to take away all the privileges verbally, I have never been excluded from outside activities. Whenever there’s a special outing, there’s been no limitation on my rights. I also haven’t faced various other disadvantages.

It’s a sign that the church is looking forward to me.

That attention and expectation honestly terrified me. It made me want to run away. Even though I was enjoying the privilege of receiving power from someone whom others call God,

There had been rare figures in my life saying ‘you don’t have to do that.’

Like the Pope and that one figure above.

But those two were beings who sacrifice themselves for this world. Even if they say you don’t have to, it’s impossible not to care.

No one among those around me, in similar positions, had ever told me I could escape… that I could run away, except for Ria.

“Are you going to be okay?”

After managing to swallow down that lump in my throat, I asked with a slight smile.

“I might end up at odds with the church.”

“Well, I didn’t really like the church in the first place. You know why I joined, right?”

“If I… don’t make it to being a Saint.”

“Why? Afraid you can’t save the world?”

“…”

“Who told you that you have to save the world?”

No one has ever said that directly. Not even that figure who sent me here.

But the reason I came to this world was.

“No one is born into this world for such a reason.”

Ria interrupted my thoughts.

“Everyone just exists. Who really comes into this world with a purpose? You live your life and find what you want to do. Sometimes people meddle and suggest what you should or shouldn’t do, but…”

“…”

“So, you can just do what you want. I’ll help you. Don’t want to be a Saint? Then I’ll fight for you. Just pick a fight with the church, right? Or do you want to run away? If that’s the case, I’ll help with that too. If someone’s chasing you, just keep running. You can do that right now. Or if you really want, you can jump into another world and bolt.”

“…Ria.”

“Or do you want to save the world? Then go ahead and do that. I’ll be right by your side.”

I looked at Ria.

Ria wasn’t looking at me.

She was just staring ahead. Her crimson eyes quietly gazed far beyond this world.

“Ria.”

How I should express my gratitude for that, I truly had no idea.

“…Just one thing.”

Ignoring my words, Ria continued with what she was saying.

“Just one thing, there’s a story I don’t want to hear.”

Only then did Ria look at me.

Her expression wasn’t one of a joking smile. Her voice was serious, as if every single word she was saying was completely sincere.

“Don’t say you’re going somewhere far away. The place I’m meant to be is beside you. Don’t ever think of leaving me behind.”