Chapter 189

He thought to himself, ‘Life can be lived casually.’

He thought to himself, ‘Life is living without thought.’

That’s exactly what Ji Kang-hyeon, my life motto, was. It was a foolish and ridiculous motto that saw the world as nothing more than water. But so what? For someone like me, born with a silver spoon and a popular child actor, it hardly mattered.

Actor? If that fails, I could at least sing. What if a singer fails? Then an idol? These days, the male idol scene isn’t that great. Well, I could always rely on my mom’s company, right? Who would give it to me? If my mom doesn’t give it? Then I guess I’ll be jobless, whatever.

There was no need to live diligently. The world was already giving me plenty without having to live that way.

That being said, I wasn’t the type to cross lines carelessly. When dating rumors surfaced about idol Kang Chae-eun, I maintained enough distance to avoid crossing any boundaries.

Dating rumors, after all, tend to affect the girl more than the guy. For someone like Cha-eun, who was an idol, it must have been an even bigger deal.

So I put on a brave front.

“Noona, don’t worry. I’ll take care of everything.”

It was quite simple. The other party gave no thought to it, and all I had to do was release an article saying that Ji Kang-hyeon was just being flirtatious. My image took a hit, but I was not an idol to begin with, so what could I do? If I gave a performance in return, that would be enough.

Anyway, the dating rumors were buried to some extent.

What happened after that… um, what was it?

In fact, the incident with Seol-guk was a part of the plan to bury the dating rumors with Kang Chae-eun.

It sounds shocking, but the truth was that it was a lie. I simply hadn’t thought things through. It wasn’t even a date. I just called him out of boredom. That was the real reason.

Then there were the paparazzi, more dating rumors, and even with a man over ten years older than me. Gross.

It was a completely foreseeable outcome, but since I was not particularly the type to think deeply… Anyway, I felt bad about the situation.

When Hyuk-jin hyung told me to sort out the relationship to cover up the scandal, I said, “But we are not in that kind of relationship?” Then he said he’d lost all trust in me.

I felt a bit bad about the doll, but I decided to give it to him. After all, wouldn’t a huge whale shark plush toy suffice as alimony?

When we decided to stop seeing each other, I purposely sent a rather cold message so that he wouldn’t feel too bad about it. Did it bother him to call me ‘you’?

Anyway, in the end, that uncle—though I called him Seol-guk—was somewhat of an amusing girl to me. Originally a man, he asked me to call him hyung, but I called him uncle. Honestly, no matter how you looked at it, he couldn’t be seen that way.

So, just a girl with a peculiar personality, I guess? I had no intention of dating. I didn’t think he’d fall for flattery anyway, since he was originally an uncle.

So when the scandal with Muk Ha-neul popped up on the community boards and I saw the photos, my thoughts as Ji Kang-hyeon were like this:

‘Damn, should I not have cut ties?’

No, no, no, I didn’t know. Even if I had known, I probably wouldn’t have realized it back then.

How could I have thought that I would be close to the drama’s author that I’m auditioning for right away?

The audition is next week. And the author will be participating in that audition. In other words, the writer Muk Ha-neul would be present. She’s pretty, but there’s a noticeable age gap, and I felt that our personalities wouldn’t match… No, that’s not what’s important.

In any case, I learned for the first time today that the two of them had a pretty deep relationship.

So it’s a bit nerve-wracking. If I happen to have said something bad, this could turn into a disaster. Of course, it’s not like my life would crumble because of one comment, but my image has recently been fixed as an entertainer… I really need to film something soon, but I haven’t been approached in a while since I’ve been out of the field, and the audition slot I managed to grab is something…

But this is the life of a child actor, huh? Just because I did well when I was young doesn’t guarantee I’ll do well when I grow up. I’m supposed to do well, though. Right.

Upon digging deeper, I found out that they cried. Apparently, they broke up, but that wasn’t really the important part of the story. Either way, if they heard my badmouthing, my image would already be tarnished.

For now, it was more important that this uncle was dressed up like an incredible pretty girl than any of that. Of course, she was extremely beautiful and cute, and she happened to be my type, but if she asked me to date, I might consider it, but that wasn’t really the point.

Or was it? Is it important?

Whatever I thought, it didn’t seem like a issue that would have a clear answer. So I stopped thinking about it. I will prove myself with my acting, dear author. You’ll regret it if you cut me. Thinking? What good would overthinking do? What meaning does it hold?

I just need to be able to act.

“Thank you for your hard work. The results will be notified in a few days.”

“Thank you.”

Well, I didn’t think much of it, but it seems to have gone better than expected?

The original author Muk Ha-neul was no different from what I saw on TV. She was just smiling brightly and didn’t seem like someone who had just experienced a breakup a few days prior. Although her smile was a bit like a wooden doll.

It seemed like she was brought there as a background character to some extent, and it didn’t feel like she was evaluating anything.

I think I left a pretty good impression, so as long as that author doesn’t throw a fit, the audition might just end in a win.

“How was it? Did it go well?”

“Isn’t that how it always is?”

“It seems like it went well. But there’s one problem.”

Is that something to say to someone who just finished an audition? Give me some time to relax, at least. That’s what a good manager would do these days.

Anyway, Hyuk-jin hyung worried too much. He would undoubtedly bring up some strange concern this time, too. I hope so.

“Did you do something to the author Muk Ha-neul?”

Huh?

“What do you mean?”

“You did, didn’t you!”

“I’ve never even met that person!”

Although there’s something suspicious about it! But it shouldn’t be something worth mentioning…

“Did you do anything weird during the audition earlier?”

“I didn’t! There’s something suspicious, but….”

“You did! What on earth did you do?!”

What does this hyung think of my image?

“What are you talking about?”

“Muk Ha-neul asked to meet for a moment.”

It shouldn’t be that big of a deal.

“Just say okay for now. Clear some time.”

“How can I clear time when I have nothing booked?”

“Come on, just keep that thought to yourself.”

Don’t throw out the facts carelessly.

Anyway, I don’t know why she wants to meet, but it must be related to that uncle. I’ll just say I have no relation at all! And whatever she talks about, I’ll hint that there could be some defamation.

If that doesn’t work… um…

I’ll just live casually, right?

~

“Hello, Ji Kang-hyeon actor.”

“Ah, hello, author.”

This person’s impression has changed a bit… The person who was smiling brightly like a wooden figurine during the audition now seemed quite a bit…

“Ah, I’m not feeling well at the moment. Please understand.”

She looked sick.

“Is that okay? Your face looks like you could be taken to the hospital at any moment.”

“You have a very interesting way of speaking.”

Hehe.

Please don’t laugh like that. It’s scary.

Is the breakup true? Did she manage to hold her expression during the audition somehow? Definitely, she didn’t look like a wooden doll anymore. She just looked like a wet stuffed animal.

“Um, why did you want to see me? Was there a problem during the audition?”

Probably not, but…

“Oh, the audition went very well. You performed exceptionally well. I don’t really have much of a say in this, as I was just a background character, but I wrote a good evaluation, so I think there will be a good result.”

Oh, that’s unexpected information. No matter how much of a background character the author is, her influence can’t be completely dismissed. Besides, none of the competitors seemed particularly impressive. It felt like the optimistic expectation of winning might actually be accurate.

“What I wanted to discuss with Ji Kang-hyeon….”

Okay, please tell me. There must be a reason. It would naturally be related to that uncle, but it wasn’t polite to take the initiative.

“I have a request.”

I wasn’t expecting that kind of dialogue. This could be a bit tricky…

“It may sound a bit sudden and burdensome, but let’s just give it a try. You don’t have to feel pressured. I assure you that you won’t suffer any disadvantages if you don’t comply.”

“Can you at least tell me what it is?”

Naturally, this was a conversation that could pose a serious problem if others caught wind of it. The predictable outcome would be the articles claiming that I secured my role unfairly by conceding to the author’s request, and the internet reactions, not to mention the recently buried dating rumors.

But she couldn’t have spoken without some conviction. She didn’t seem that naive. The author appeared to be struggling to bring it up. After sipping some warm tea and taking a deep breath, she opened her mouth.

“…You and Seol-guk sunbae met before.”

“Ah, yes. That’s right. But we stopped contacting each other after that.”

I cut off contact. I’m sorry.

“There seems to have been some rumors circulating… Something unfortunate happened between us.”

“Ah, yes….”

She directly brought up a topic that seemed uncomfortable to discuss.

“I’m fine, but I’m a bit worried about sunbae. I was wondering if I could get your help.”

“…If it’s about contacting him instead, I’m sorry, but I can’t…”

I’m in no position to say that, having been the one to cut ties.

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“…This may sound strange, but could you please try to be friendly with Seol-guk sunbae again?”

Huh?

“I’m sorry, but isn’t that person already in his late twenties? Asking him to get along with an elementary school girl like that…”

“It’s not like that.”

Oh, did I go too far? I feel like she’s getting a bit offended. But it seems she can’t deny it either.

“…Sunbae seemed very troubled back then. It didn’t seem like it was because of Ji Kang-hyeon. I don’t think he was cursing you, but it feels like things didn’t end well.”

Since I was the one who cut things off, it’s only natural.

“So saying to get along is a bit… Such remarks are unnecessary. I think it would be great if you could just meet and have a talk. Sunbae even talked to Ji Kang-hyeon when he appeared on TV. Oh, please don’t mention that I made such a request.”

“Of course, I can’t agree to that. I wouldn’t want to create unnecessary dating rumors again, no matter how foolish I am. Well, I do know that the person seems to have been hurt a bit, but I don’t see any reason for me to help…”

Is there any reason?

“I see. I’m sorry for making such a burdensome request.”

Huh? She gave up more easily than I expected. Don’t tell me she’s just going to let me go like this?

“Once again, the audition will proceed fairly, so you can rest assured. Thank you for listening to my request.”

Thank goodness it doesn’t seem to be an issue. Phew…

…But what if I get dropped after this? What if I just have this conversation and then get dropped? Damn, this isn’t my specialty at all. This is really because I don’t trust that person. I’m not doing this on purpose.

“Wait a moment.”

“Yes?”

“…This is definitely not why I’m doing it at the request of the author.”

It’s genuinely not.

“I left a doll with that person…”

Please believe me.

“If I want to get that back, I might have to meet her once.”