Chapter 184

We did a lot. We tried everything that could be done at the amusement park. Honestly, I thought I was going to die from exhaustion. Muk Ha-neul seemed to have endless stamina, wanting to ride every attraction, and even though I repeatedly said I didn’t want to, I eventually gave in.

Still, this time was somewhat enjoyable. It felt like we had returned to the days of our youth, even if my outfit had changed a bit.

That’s why it was even more regrettable.

Because now, the time was coming for me to part ways.

The sun was setting. The sky darkened and the stars were nowhere to be seen, as if painted over with ink.

“Looks like we’ve done everything we can do. Shall we take a break?”

No, there’s still one ride left that we haven’t tried.

“If we’re going to rest, let’s ride one more thing.”

“Which one?”

“I want to ride the Ferris wheel.”

Time spun endlessly.

We faced each other inside the Ferris wheel. If we had come a bit earlier, we might have seen a beautiful sunset. Now, only a pitch-black night sky lay before us.

I was now thinking of dipping my feet into that night sky. I was ready to take the plunge.

“Did you have fun today?”

“It was the best day since I was born.”

“I’m glad.”

Muk Ha-neul was smiling. No, she was more like gently smiling. That seemed more fitting. She was preparing for something, she was looking forward to something, and she was scared of something.

But when we reached the top of the Ferris wheel, an incident occurred.

[We are temporarily stopping the Ferris wheel due to a minor mechanical failure! Please remain seated and wait calmly in this safe situation!]

Did someone cast a spell? What perfect timing.

“Being stuck like this feels like an animation.”

“Isn’t this a common scene in those kinds of shows?”

“The Ferris wheel is always a hot spot for couples.”

However, Muk Ha-neul, who said that, was simply gazing at the sky with a lonely smile. She was not fiery at all, just like me. I looked up at that night sky as well.

“You have something to say, don’t you?”

“Yeah.”

Muk Ha-neul wasn’t a fool. In fact, she was closer to a genius. She must have sensed that I had something to say long ago. Perhaps she already knew what I wanted to say.

What makes a person a genius is always madness. Today, I intended to kill Muk Ha-neul’s madness. I would destroy the faith. It was for her. It was for the outfit I prepared for her.

“You can say it.”

“Okay.”

But I couldn’t speak right away. It was simply because I was overwhelmed. I felt too cruel bringing these words up, and it hurt too much for me. So before saying anything, I asked first.

“Do you like me?”

“Yes.”

“Do you love me?”

“Yes.”

“Do you worship me?”

“Yes.”

“Do you believe in me?”

“No.”

That was enough.

“I thought so. How do you like this outfit? Is it pretty? Cute?”

“Not at all. It’s disgusting.”

I knew you would say that.

“Did you have fun today?”

“It was the best day since I was born,”

Muk Ha-neul paused for a moment.

“It was terrible.”

“Yeah. I had fun.”

Really, really fun.

“So let’s break up.”

So for you and me, as our farewell words,

“Let’s never meet again.”

Leaves behind the words of eternal farewell.

“I loved you, Muk Ha-neul.”

“I loved you too, senior.”

It would be nice if it ended like this, but it seemed the Ferris wheel would need a long time to start moving again. Muk Ha-neul bit her lip and asked.

“Can I ask why?”

“I loved you. That’s the reason.”

“You’re a liar.”

“Are you the only one that has to be?”

“You’re charming.”

“Not me.”

“Were you angry because I spread the photos?”

“I was angry. But that’s not the fundamental issue.”

“Because you exposed Ham Yejin?”

“That’s not it. Of course, it had an impact, but it’s not everything.”

“Then why? Please tell me the reason.”

“You already know.”

“I don’t like riddles.”

“Is there a test that gives you the correct answer?”

“A test without any rewards isn’t really a test.”

“You already received a reward.”

“I can’t understand.”

“You loved me and you destroyed me.”

“Because I loved you, I couldn’t help but destroy you.”

“So that’s why you decided to never come back.”

“Why?”

“People around me comforted me and scorned you.”

“That was not a knot that could be untied easily.”

“If it was normal, it might have been.”

“Did I make some mistake?”

“You destroyed me.”

“…Why?”

“You destroyed me and took me away.”

“….”

“You destroyed me, and you took from the wreckage. So I became nothing. But you know, I thought I was an empty shell. But in fact, what you took was an empty shell. My faults. The faults of the me you loved and I loved. The shell.”

The intact me.

“You took that, didn’t you?”

And so it unravelled. This knot was mis-tied from the start.

“…You’re giving up? You, a man? Yourself? Me, senior. I’m your only chance! A last! Last chance!”

“The chance has long since disappeared.”

So today, I bid farewell to myself. The farewell words, the words of eternal separation had been prepared not for Muk Ha-neul, but for me.

“The original me has been dead for a long time.”

The me that existed slowly crumbled into dust and scattered into the night sky. And became a star, embedded in the sky.

“I will never be complete. So please, cherish my remnants. Remember me. There was a man named Seol-guk who was loved by you and who loved you.”

May this eye hopefully not melt away.

“This can’t be.”

“But I learned something while living.”

That there is nothing in this world that goes according to plan.

“I had no choice. If I didn’t destroy you, if I didn’t break your ideals, no one would be able to love.”

“But I might have already loved you back then.”

“That’s a lie.”

“But it sounded nice, didn’t it?”

“Liar.”

“Yeah, I’m a liar.”

“You were going to die! You were just going to vanish! You had no choice. Because you know you couldn’t stop if you didn’t…!”

“Was it really just to stop me?”

“….”

Muk Ha-neul bit her lip.

“Thank you.”

“I hate you, senior.”

“For destroying me.”

“I hate it, hate it, I really do.”

“Thank you for ending me, for completing me, for taking me.”

“That’s cruel.”

“Now I’m completely yours.”

Only the remnants.

“How can a person be this… cruel?”

“Did you just realize that?”

“It hurts too much.”

“A man is always cruel to a woman.”

“It hurts too much, too much.”

Muk Ha-neul shed tears.

“I feel like I’ve never seen you cry before.”

Muk Ha-neul cried out loud. And the Ferris wheel began to move again. During the descent, Muk Ha-neul cried sincerely, just like a child, sobbing unreservedly.

Muk Ha-neul had finally become human. She had fallen from a god to a human. Not as the god who had bound me, stolen my place, and taken me away, but as a simple, hurt, crying, tearful human.

“I truly enjoyed the time spent with you. Thank you for helping me. It would have been really hard without you.”

“You’re bad… How could you do this to me?”

“You said your story was terrible. You wrote the sky mushroom well. I think I understand what you felt while writing it.”

“Knowing all that, how could you do this to me?!”

The sky mushroom was a love letter.

A love letter from Muk Ha-neul expressing her feelings for me.

“I’m sorry, I’ve never received a love letter, so I was clumsy.”

“I hate you. I hate you so much that I can’t bear it. But, but still—”

Because of you, my heart hurts so much.

“Thank you for loving me.”

It was time for us to get off the Ferris wheel. I grabbed Muk Ha-neul’s hand and forced her up, leading her out of the Ferris wheel. I took her over to a nearby bench and sat her down, still tearful.

“I won’t forget you. But I won’t remember what you did. You will remain just a junior who I loved, who loved me, and who was rejected. Remember that day when the snow didn’t melt, that me.”

“Rather, just kill me.”

“Live. That’s even more painful.”

I hugged Muk Ha-neul tightly, with all my strength. She couldn’t even embrace me back. She just kept crying. Now, she was too exhausted to make any sound.

“I love you, Muk Ha-neul. My junior.”

“Liar…”

“But it was sweet, wasn’t it?”

There was no denial. I released my embrace and looked at Muk Ha-neul’s face, which was completely a mess. Her makeup had smudged because of her tears, and it was quite a sight. I took a handkerchief out of my bag and wiped her tears and the marks from her makeup.

“Take care. Let’s not see each other again.”

And I gave a light kiss on Muk Ha-neul’s cheek. Muk Ha-neul accepted that kiss as if her soul had left her body.

I left Muk Ha-neul behind and slowly walked away, exiting the amusement park, leaving behind the stars that were once me.

Goodbye, take care.

Me.

The stars that used to be me.

When I looked up at the sky, I saw countless invisible stars twinkling in the night sky. And just like Muk Ha-neul had cried earlier, I began to cry like a child.

I loved you.

Me.

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