Chapter 183

[Still, I think I did a little better yesterday and today, but I don’t know how mom sees it. I’ll continue to live wonderfully and bravely… so please watch over me until the end. Today, I really want to see mom. I love you so much.]

(SHORTS)

(VIEWS: 540,000)

– This is unfairㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

– Why do you say it so casuallyㅠㅠㅠㅠ

└ That’s what makes it sadder…

– What kind of life did they live?

– Human勝利 is amazing ㄷㄷ I checked No Name’s Vtube and they already have 400,000 subscribers.

– If that’s acting, I have to give them credit.

└ Who lies about their parents? Don’t cross the line!

– I don’t know if No Name meant it, but the line ‘Today I really want to see ~~’ is almost identical to Isabella’s last words.

└ Sounds right? What’s that?

└ Creepy.

– Every time I replay this, I cry endlessly. I regret so many times not telling my mom I love her while she was alive.

– How much must they miss them? I really cried a lot…

– Only those who haven’t experienced such heartbreaking feelings would know.

– I can feel the emotions even beyond the avatar… The moment when they briefly speak is so sad…

No Name’s interview caused an uproar in just one day.

Fans who had watched her broadcasts with affection for months naturally fell silent.

[If a drama script were written like this, it would be criticized ㅇㅇ][31]

A child who was born into a single-parent household and lost their mother, turns out to be a genius who shocks the world?

Moreover, just 14 years old—no, it means they started just last year at 13, going to PC cafes alone and using Twish broadcasts to get by?

That’s crossing the line.

[Comments]

– Wow, it’s like a life reversal drama just wrapped up!

– I thought No Name’s talent was enviable, but their life story is really tragic.

└ Living a normal life and getting a grade 5 would probably be much happier.

– We are living in the era of No Name.

– I’m really curious about their identity—I can’t sleep at night!!!

└ I heard they’re announcing it after the finals, lol.

└ One day left, one day left, one day left, one day left, one day left, one day left, one day left, one day left, one day left.

└ Why the playoffs? Just hurry up and have the finals, you guys!!!

[Is it official that No Name is really going to be an idol?][23]

It’s not easy to be a virtual reality game broadcaster.

They really know what it means to paddle when the water’s rising!

Is this the big picture of a genius?

[Comments]

– The current flow is probably created by themselves.

└ A superior version of Zhuge Liang.

└ Zhuge Liang is like, lol.

└ Was it the southeast wind?

└ That guy fanned the flames, how dare they mention No Name in comparison!

– Beautiful girl? Beautiful girl? Beautiful girl? Beautiful girl?

└ They’re 14; it’s hard to distinguish pretty or not, aren’t they just a kid?

└ When you see Chae Na’s photo from when she was 14, you can’t help but be amazed.

└ Chae Na was 172 cm at that age, right?

– If it’s No Name, they’re basically a public figure, so it doesn’t matter if they reveal their face.

– Is it something like they’re confident after proving a complex math problem?

– According to big data, children who seem strong like No Name are surprisingly short.

└ How short?

└ About 145 cm?

└ That’s way too short…

[No Name plans to stream today ㅇㅇ][17]

Good news for the fans.

They said they won’t be doing a scrim and will instead start a personal stream.

(Teader Announcement.jpg)

* * *

[Recording ends 9:32]

It’s just under 10 minutes.

It’s truly embarrassing to show someone the story I’ve kept inside me.

So I took my camcorder and went for a walk alone, only regretting not staying in my room if I had known it would be this hot.

The shower I took in the morning feels pointless now, and the inside of my hair is slightly damp with sweat. Several strands were glued together and sticking around my neck.

With a simple splash of water to cool the heat left in my hair, I changed into light, breathable clothes.

Now, I decided to enter the capsule, which feels even more comfortable than my bed, to access the virtual reality.

It seems like my cat has gone out again.

Moreover, my private room feels too spacious now.

Like expanding a house and garden in farm management games like Tai x Palm or Star x Valley, thanks to the in-game currency that Adella diligently earns, its size has grown four to five times larger than before.

The best thing about virtual reality is that there are no bugs.

With the inherent limitations of human critical fusion frequencies and not-so-great focus correction ability, it’s hard to follow the movements of flying insects. It’s not just that sensing them is difficult.

Moreover, seeing creatures like centipedes induces feelings of disgust, making me really feel my identity as a woman.

I never want to experience the sensation of a centipede crawling on my body again. Really.

Maybe because I spent the morning filming videos, many old memories popped up.

Compared to when I lived under the name Esteria, so many things have changed.

First of all, I’ve certainly been speaking more.

Perhaps because of the nature of being a streamer, one ends up talking a lot, regardless of personality.

I don’t think I was that lonely in my past life, but thinking back now, that emptiness I felt might have been a kind of loneliness.

Or maybe not.

Anyway, it seems that this body can’t stand loneliness or boredom.

Even now, just sitting still makes me feel restless.

In simple terms, that means I’m bored, and I can’t find a reason to suppress my instincts, so I decided to stream again.

If I didn’t have the memory of ‘my past life,’ what would I have been doing if I had grown up normally?

I can’t find any meaning in hypothetical scenarios and can’t draw any value from them, but such thinking might be one of the most human behaviors that only humans can do.

[Streaming starts: 0:01:31 – No Name]

“It was nice weather this morning, so I filmed a vlog.”

– ?????????

– Why didn’t you do it live!

– Is it going to be uploaded to Vtube?

– The weather was really nice!

– Is it a real-life vlog? Really?

– Did you go outside today?

“It’s really hot outside. Did you know you should apply sunscreen 30 minutes before going out and reapply every 2 hours?”

– It’s annoying, but I have to keep reapplying every 2 hours.

– Alpha Male trait) Doesn’t apply sunscreen.

– Alpha Male trait: Fights the sun.

– That’s not an alpha male, lol.

– Beta Male trait: Gets into arguments.

– Wow, thanks for the life tips!

– On days like today, the UV rays are strong, so prolonged exposure can damage your skin!

“Something feels off about the chat.”

An inexplicable sense of discomfort began to rise.

What is this, what’s going on?

The speed of the chat, the atmosphere, the way they punctuate their sentences, everything felt slightly off.

The weather is anything but nice; it’s over 33 degrees.

“Do you have something to hide from me?”

It was only after asking that I understood their behavior.

“What’s wrong with me saying I’m without a mom?”

– Noooㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

– Please don’t say thatㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

– ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

– No Name is a babyㅠㅠㅠ We have to protect them dearly!

– Don’t tell me they’re still at the PC room, right?

– Let’s raise more donation money and buy them a house faster!

[‘neverworn’ donated 30,000 won!]

– Beef has gotten really expensive lately, so take this and eat well for dinner! You should eat well to grow taller!

“Ah, thank you for the 30,000 won. But do you know my height? Do you think I grow taller with those comments?”

– One thing’s for sure, they’re under 150cm.

– Seeing them get defensive seems like they aren’t that tall!

– No, No Name will grow up to 210cm.

└ 210? Lol.

– Is this for real?

“It wasn’t even in my plans originally to stream today, but since time is floating away, I ended up turning it on. I’m not one to proactively start things, but it doesn’t fit my personality to spend time just staring blankly. So later, I’m thinking of doing a watch party for the teams participating in today’s playoffs. Oh right, I saw that there are a lot of messages piled up lately, so maybe I’ll read some of those.”

Thus began the reading of messages.

In the past, a lot of free time would mean I’d check every one of them, but these days, the speed at which messages pile up has become faster than I can read them, and before I knew it, I stopped checking them.

[Doctor Yurika: Hello, No Name. I’m a 19-year-old viewer who started subscribing 3 months ago. I lost my mother last year. I miss her so much every day, and not a day goes by without thinking of her; I cried a lot watching you in the interview yesterday. I can’t imagine how many tears you must have shed to say that so casually…]

“When you did your first collab with HyeBam, you were a viewer. So, what exactly is death? More precisely, what’s the difference between death and separation?”

Ding-dong—

At that moment, the doorbell rang.

When I opened the door with the broadcasting camera, the cat that ventured outside was nowhere to be seen, and a honeybee was pouting, puffing out its cheeks, looking displeased.

“If you come home, you should say something instead of jumping straight into broadcasting! Did you wash your hands?”

“But you were gaming too, right? And is this your home? It’s our house. Oh, by the way, I’m live right now, do you want to join?”

“What is it? What is it? I’m curious; I want to see too, Kariri!”

“Then give a word of comfort to the viewer whose mom passed away last year.”

“W-wait, what?! Is this a real situation? Eeeh?”

“On the contrary, is it something to joke about? They’re still our parents…”

“I didn’t mean it like that…! Woah, why is Kariri making this harder for me!”

Why is the great Kariri’s tongue so long?

* * *

I’ve heard this story before.

A very close friend of the protagonist boarded a warp-speed spaceship to explore the solar system, which had been their lifelong dream.

If the day of returning to Earth is 100 years from now, I will never see them again until I die, but rather than being sad, the protagonist decided to bless their future.

However, during the spaceship’s passage through the atmosphere, it encountered a terrible explosion, and the protagonist lost their friend, unable to hide their devastating feelings, deeply grieving.

The former is an eternal farewell, while the latter is death. Why is death something we can only mourn?

Some might explain that the opportunity cost one could enjoy during life is all taken away by ‘death,’ but I think a little differently.

“If anyone has become independent, you can empathize with this, but even if your parents are alive, you can’t see them every day. Some only show their faces during holidays and occasionally. When you add up all those moments, it might not be as much time as you think. Similarly, I don’t think my mom has disappeared from this world. I believe that just because I can’t see her for a long time, as long as I remember her, I will be able to meet her again someday.”

It’s just that the next holiday may be a little longer.

Just as one cannot distinguish gravity and inertia in the theory of general relativity, we do not know what lies at the end of death.

Just like me, everyone could reincarnate into another world, right?

If we can’t distinguish between death and separation, believing Mom hasn’t passed away but just that we’ve parted ways isn’t philosophically incorrect.

“So, this means we should treat them well while they’re here. Did everyone understand me?”

– ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

– After seeing this, I immediately called my parents.

– Although I was born with this appearance… I still love you, mom!

– Ah, it’s sad from the start…

– My vision is blurred, teacherㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

Kariri quickly scanned the messages sent to me while sitting on my lap.

Just as before, I shared a few longer, important messages during the broadcast.

As many messages of comfort and encouragement were coming in, Kariri added a comment.

“What do you mean ‘adoption’! Our No Name is already living in a very rich family! And to take them away, you all at least need to earn more money than me! Are you confident?”

– But how would No Name’s parents stand it, lol.

– Since there’s a virtual friend and virtual caregiver, why not have virtual parents as well?

– Why should you be the only one to enjoy this, you brat!

[‘catlovesmating’ donated 300,000 won!]

– Everyone, please pay your children’s fee this month quickly! 300,000 won!

– What do you mean children’s fee, not even a friend fee, lol.

– Pay 300,000 won to live as No Name’s parents vs. waste 300,000 won on a cute girl’s horse racing gacha game.

– Sounds like a scam, lol.

– Now that you mention it, 300,000 won seems reasonable.

– The manager really set a pay collection time here, lol.

– Looks like they’re leading by example.

“Virtual parents, really… cough! Cough cough! Anyway! No one can take No Name away! I’ll be with them for life!”

“Why would I… Ah, I get it. Let’s go with that.”

Kariri’s glare just now was truly fierce.

– Why does Kariri keep calling No Name ‘Na-me’ though? lol.

– ‘Na-me’ sounds nice though.

– Is it because of name? I thought you meant the League of Legends character Nami, lol.

[‘TK justlovethis’ donated 1,000 won!]

– Kariri is a fool and doesn’t understand things like English, lol.

– For real, lol.

– For real, lol.

– Elementary school drop out despair.

– Isn’t it serious, not just a concept?

– Come on, no way, even Kariri wouldn’t do that.

– Nowadays, the Alpha generation are all trained by translation magic, so they might not know English.

└ If it’s true, that’s serious;;

└ The level of questioning if England is an island, lol.

“Umm… Hey kids…? Should we talk about something else? Ah, by the way, Na-me, no, No Name, tomorrow’s finals strategy is—”

“Manager, freeze the chatrooms right now.”

Three managers who were connected quickly followed my command.

The world has entered an ice age.

Scrolling up, I confirmed the first chat that wrote ‘Real lol.’

“From here to the bottom. Anyone who just supported will get a week ban. Anyone who donated will be permanently banned.”

“Uh, there…”

“Just stay quiet, sis.”

“Waaaah…!”

Without questioning or arguing, the managers lined up to execute my orders.

After banning 86 people, the ice age concluded, and the natives rejoiced in reclaiming their homeland.

– Ah, ‘name’ is pronounced like ‘Na-me’, right? lol.

– I won’t forgive anyone who continues to tease Kariri from now on!

– It’s not No Name but No Na-me, lol.

– Na-me na-me~ Na-me yo~ Na-me na no yo~

– This is the correct one here, lol.

– As long as it’s not me, I’m fine~~~~~~!!!

– Be careful not to get caught up in a kill angle.

– This really was a kill angle, huh?

– Phew, I’m glad.

– A week-long ban? That’s terrifying, terrifying, lol.

[‘wagranoh’ donated 10,000 won!]

– I’m a viewer who sent a message at the beginning of the stream, please can you lift the ban? I’m really upsetㅠㅠㅠㅠ.

– Not a chance, gay! lol.

– Your heartwarming story has been replaced with a week-long ban.

– You were unable to handle the chat, so artistically you got banned.

– The chat forensic analysis who got banned should be freed.