Chapter 181

Han-bom was by my side that night, together with Eun-a.

Eun-a kept calling Han-bom “Ajumma” (a term for married or older women), making Han-bom irritable, but it seemed both of them were trying to create a bright and cheerful atmosphere for my sake to some extent.

“Ugh… I’m not an ajumma…”

Hmm… to some extent.

In the evening, we all watched a movie together. It was the kind of blockbuster that could be watched without much thought, where the screenplay didn’t really matter. All three of us write, so we were commenting on how terrible the script was, in a dull sort of way.

I don’t know much about film direction, but surprisingly, they seemed to know quite a bit about that too, leading to more detailed analyses than I expected. Of course, I watched movies as part of my studies, but the parts I knew were mostly through other people’s commentaries, and if I were asked to analyze something directly, nothing would come to mind.

Lights this and angles that… it was a world completely different from writing.

Still, none of us were movie experts. In the end, the conversation inevitably turned back to screenplays and scenarios.

Come to think of it,

“Eun-a, are you writing anything these days?”

“Umm… y-yes?”

Why are you so fidgety all of a sudden?

“Mother, what kind of writing is it?”

Ah, Han-bom was there. What I said without thinking elicited strange reactions from both of them. Eun-a had turned her face towards me, and Han-bom was practically gleaming as she lunged at Eun-a.

“I may look like this, but I’m a professional editor! I’ve worked on hits with ten million views! Let me take a look at your writing?”

“It’s fine…”

“Aww, don’t be like that. What are you writing? A genre piece? What genre? Is it romance? Is it set in the modern day? Or is it fantasy? These days there’s a lot of martial arts stuff too!”

“It’s fine, I said…”

Clearly, Han-bom had latched onto some interesting tidbit, pushing hard. Eun-a, however, kept refusing while glancing at me. It was a bit amusing.

Eun-a even shot me a look with her eyes, blinking to signal me not to say a word, as if it were a matter of life or death. Sorry, didn’t mean to say that.

“Alright, I’ll forgive you for calling me ajumma if you show me. How about it?”

Oh, Han-bom played her big card. At this point, it must be her best offer. But Eun-a countered with an even stronger move.

“Big sister.”

Whoa…

“…Do you really not want to show me?”

“Yes.”

This was the first time I’d ever seen Eun-a call Han-bom “Big sister.” Since the moment she was introduced to Han-bom, Eun-a had always called her “ajumma.”

“…Then I suppose there’s nothing I can do.”

With Eun-a playing her ace, Han-bom had no choice but to give up. Actually, not being called “ajumma” was already a pretty good deal. But at this point, I was curious too. Should I casually ask Eun-a about it later? As I was pondering this, Eun-a suddenly shifted her focus to me.

“By the way, does this ‘big sister’ call you ‘Senior’ as well? Why?”

“First of all, she’s my senior in the literary world, so… Normally, I don’t call her that formally.”

“Isn’t there a more appropriate term?”

What is she up to all of a sudden? It feels like she’s planning to say something strange to me… Is this her revenge for what I said earlier?

“What’s an appropriate term?”

“Like… ‘Big sister’…”

This is revenge, you crazy person.

“No, it’s unfair that only I have to call her ‘Big sister’ like this. What have I done wrong?”

Why are you dragging me into this because you’re feeling wronged?

“Is calling her ‘Big sister’ bothering you that much?”

“I feel like I’ve been wounded.”

Han-bom pouted and looked down. Granted, it’s natural to feel hurt by such comments, but her overly exaggerated reaction was clearly an act. Still, it felt awkward to just leave it be, so I asked if she was alright.

“Are you alright?”

“It would be alright if this ‘Set-’ could call me ‘big sister’.”

“I guess she’s alright…”

I shouldn’t have said anything.

“Seriously… Are you going to let him call you ‘Set’?”

“No, this person insists on doing their own thing. I’ll get mad if they call me that again.”

“Why does it fit so well?”

“Set- Older Brother.”

“Ah, seriously…”

Thinking about it, both of them were the ones who brought out the term “crazy person” in me. Was it really a mistake to put them together?

A deep sigh escaped me involuntarily. Honestly, if only Han-bom would pretend to get mad, I’d be okay, but with Eun-a acting the same way, it was awkward to even get angry. After all, just recently, I received great comfort from Eun-a, and Han-bom had been comforting me until just a while ago too.

The fact that I was still holding on somehow was thanks to these two.

“…Do as you please.”

That’s why, I guess. With a semi-resigned feeling, the words slipped out. Honestly, it is hard to say my name, isn’t it? Convincing myself with that.

“Eh, really?! Wow!!!”

“Jackpot.”

Han-bom cheered, and Eun-a was surprised that it actually worked. Isn’t this a big deal… Someone might think we’ve won the lottery.

“Really, can I call you ‘Set’ from now on?”

“My name is hard to say… plus, every time we have a serious conversation, calling me ‘Mr. Seol-guk, Mr. Seol-guk’ feels awkward.”

“This isn’t out of nowhere, is it?”

“Shall we do this now?”

“I’ll stay quiet.”

But her expression was beaming all the while. What’s so great about this? Considering the letter and books my mother left behind, there probably isn’t much meaning behind this name. Maybe…

“Honestly, it’s hard to call you ‘Older Brother.’ Saying ‘Guk Older Brother’ feels weird, and ‘Seol-guk Older Brother’ too.”

“My mom probably saw a random book title and decided on this name.”

It’s probably something like that. But suddenly, the mood grew tense. Both of them were glancing at me, and maybe these self-deprecating jokes weren’t such a good idea after all. That wasn’t the kind of thing I had intended.

“It’s fine, both of you relax.”

“Ah, um… Sorry.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Really, it’s okay.”

After all, this name never had much affection tied to it. I didn’t even like it at times. I had considered changing it because it was inconvenient and weird. But I never did, due to the foolish thought that my mom might be looking for me someday.

Now, it didn’t make any difference.

There have been broadcasts, and yet there’s still no word. Either she doesn’t want to see me, or she’s already… gone. It’s one of the two. Either way, it’s something I no longer need to worry about.

The awkward atmosphere didn’t ease easily, but somehow, we had a pretty good day. As night fell, Han-bom left with a silly promise to Eun-a that she’d take care of me.

“Maybe we should sleep?”

By the way, Eun-a had been sleeping on the living room floor up until now. Naturally, I slept in my bed. But today, when I was about to enter my room, Eun-a suddenly grabbed me and spoke.

“Can I ask you for one thing?”

“What is it?”

“It’s fine if it’s just for today… Can you sleep here with me?”

…This isn’t a request, is it?

Eun-a wasn’t just trying to avoid sleeping alone. She was worried about me meeting Muk Ha-neul tomorrow. Thanks, but I’m not that weak. I’ll be fine, so let me sleep alone. Tomorrow will be alright.

That’s what I had intended to say.

“…Alright.”

But the opposite words came out of my mouth.

“My bed is spacious, so let’s sleep there. It’s softer.”

“Okay…”

I was worried she’d say something strange, but fortunately, she didn’t. Normally, she would’ve said something like “This is too fast,” and maybe that would’ve made me laugh instead. Even if I had scolded her, we probably would’ve ended up sleeping together anyway.

My usual sleeping position wasn’t particularly healthy. I usually curled up and slept on my side, but with Eun-a there, perhaps it was different. I didn’t want to face her, but I also didn’t want to turn my back on her.

So naturally, I ended up looking at the ceiling.

Of course, all I could see was darkness.

“Will it go well?”

That’s what came out of my mouth. The plan I have for Muk Ha-neul is actually a pretty insignificant one. This plan has nothing to do with success or failure. It’s purely for my own satisfaction – just that. And that’s enough of a plan.

That’s why Eun-a has doubts about this plan. There’s no guarantee that Muk Ha-neul would give up on me with this.

Still, isn’t it unavoidable? What’s important is something else.

We call it a frozen land because the snow doesn’t melt.

Then, what should we call a place where the snow does melt?

“If it doesn’t go well, let me know.”

“What can you do?”

“I’ll post ‘Sky Mushroom Writer Muk Ha-neul so-and-so and such-such’ on the internet.”

“Isn’t that dangerous?”

“It’s not a lie, is it?”

It wouldn’t be impossible. Though Muk Ha-neul would probably not leave evidence hanging around, Ham Ye-jin might still have proof. But then, we’d have to meet Ham Ye-jin again, wouldn’t we?

“I hope it doesn’t come to that.”

“Honestly, this way is more dependable.”

But even with this method, Muk Ha-neul wouldn’t give up on me. And that, ultimately, wasn’t the real issue. These pictures are meaningless now.

“Let’s eat something delicious when you come back tomorrow.”

“Will you cook for me?”

“I said I can’t cook!”

“But ordering out is the same as usual…”

“Isn’t that good?”

The same as usual.

“That’s true.”

With those words, Eun-a soon fell asleep. It had been how long since I’d slept with someone beside me? Except for the time I passed out drunk beside Hwa-won, it’s been a very long time. Though we’ve all slept together on the living room floor before, that can’t really be counted as ‘sleeping together’.

I turned my head from the ceiling and faced Eun-a.

Indeed, sleeping in a healthy posture doesn’t really make me fall asleep easily.

By turning my head and lying on my side, I was finally able to drift off to sleep.