Chapter 165

I can gather my strength, but dragging this out for too long is impossible.

First of all, there’s the food problem.

The sleeping Saintess hasn’t consumed any food or water for some reason, but the rest of us is a different story.

“Should I be honest?”

Mari said.

“I’ve already reached the breaking point where I can barely hold on myself. We barely have enough food to last a few months.”

As she said this, the amount of food Mari showed was only a handful of boxes.

“This is all the food we could find in such a big city. All those canned goods, jars, and dried foods got scattered and contaminated during the fighting, so they’re no longer usable.”

The monsters eat too.

If it were just tainted by magic temporarily, perhaps it could be restored by Saint Power, but if it passed through a monster’s body, that’s another story.

Besides, magic has the power to corrupt organic matter. Even if it’s something like canned food, once it starts to decay, it’s game over.

Trying to purify food that’s decayed due to magic would only turn it into rotten food tainted by magic. Well, perhaps it could still be edible thanks to the unique purification ability of Saint Power, but it would be wise to save that as a last resort.

Mari, me, Ria. Siyoon and Yuri, Glaria and Davi.

If we can endure at seven times the pace at which Mari consumes food… there’s really not much time left.

“……”

Seeing the reality of the situation left us momentarily speechless.

Ria warned Mari to be careful, but…

Could that really be the case?

Would Mari be able to give up all hope and utter even one final word at the end? I thought that I could do that, and Ria said she could too, but believing that would actually happen is another problem entirely.

I considered not eating. With Saint Power alone, like the sleeping ‘Anna’… No, that doesn’t seem possible.

That Anna is merely clinging to the bare minimum of life. To put it simply, she’s in a state akin to hibernation. My situation was different.

“In the end, it means there are no choices left.”

Yuri murmured. We fell silent.

It was precisely as Yuri said.

The situation was simply despairing.

*

That night, the first night watch was Anna and Ria.

It wasn’t out of special consideration. The night watch order was drawn at random.

Ria pondered over what to say to Anna.

In truth, there might not have been a reason to say anything at all. Just because the two of them shared a room, it didn’t mean they had to talk the entire time. Sometimes they would sink into their thoughts, and other times they would focus on different things.

But in a situation like this, getting lost in thought would lead to more negative thoughts. Given the circumstances, it was understandable.

The atmosphere was such that they couldn’t sit right next to each other like they did in church, or playfully poke each other with a finger. Ria had the sense to grasp that much.

…This could very well be the last time.

Having that thought filled Ria with a complicated mix of feelings.

Everything had changed so suddenly.

Ria was just now working up the courage to approach Anna. She didn’t know how it would turn out, but she didn’t like the idea of facing an unwanted conclusion without even trying.

“……”

Should I just do something?

Yet, in that moment, Ria couldn’t bring herself to say anything.

Just as she was deep in thought, the door opened.

It was Mari who stepped out.

“It’s not your time to come out yet.”

Ria said that, but Mari simply replied, “I know.”

Then, she continued,

“Can we talk for a moment?”

“Eh?”

Anna reacted.

“Not you. This way.”

Seeing Mari speak to Ria, she was slightly surprised. She had thought Mari would want to say something to Anna.

Ria, who had vowed she wouldn’t budge if that happened, blinked.

“Ria?”

Anna called Ria with a somewhat worried expression, but Ria shook her head slightly.

“……I’m fine. Go ahead and wait inside. Is that okay?”

“Yeah. I’ve come out thinking about the time.”

Anna approached Ria, looking a bit fidgety, but Ria gently placed her hand on Anna’s head.

“……”

Eventually, Anna nodded at Ria’s gesture and after glancing back and forth between Mari and Ria, she went back inside.

It was only after Mari saw the door close completely that she spoke to Ria.

“You two seem close.”

“……Yeah.”

Ria replied in a voice filled with suspicion. Her hand slightly rested on the hilt of her sword. Mari seemed to notice this but didn’t lower her gaze and continued speaking.

“This might be meddlesome of me.”

Mari lowered her voice.

“Do you perhaps have feelings for the Saintess?”

“……It’s not the Saintess, it’s Anna.”

“My apologies for that. But… that name is a name that’s painful for me to speak outside. Especially when calling for someone else. I thought you would understand, right?”

Ria couldn’t deny those words.

If it had been the same situation, Ria wouldn’t be able to call Anna ‘Anna’ either. It would be unavoidable if absolutely necessary, but still.

“So, what do you want to say?”

Did Mari know about Ria’s suspicions? If she could read that far, it seemed quite possible.

The only person who calls Ria “Ria” is Anna. It’s just an abbreviation of the name Maria.

Even if someone else tried to call her Ria, she wouldn’t look kindly upon it.

Upon hearing the name Mari and understanding the relationship between Anna and Mari, Ria could easily guess where that “Mari” title came from. It must have been an abbreviation as well.

Mari introduced herself as “Mari.” As if no other name was necessary.

That seemed to Ria like a lingering attachment that still remained.

As if she couldn’t let go of a relationship that couldn’t be returned to.

……

“……”

Mari stared at Ria for a while before opening her mouth.

“If, as I suspect, you have feelings for her, it might be better to just confess when you have the chance.”

Ria slightly opened her mouth.

“I think I’ll always have the chance. Because she’s right next to me. We can talk today, and we can share stories tomorrow. I feel like I can protect her and that I have the strength to block any enemies that come our way.”

Mari’s voice continued without fluctuation, as if she had completely killed any emotion within it.

“In the end, at the last moment, if I sacrifice myself, that’ll be that, right? Even if I can’t convey those feelings, they will eventually cease to exist.”

“……”

“I won’t know how you truly feel unless you say it, but that was my experience. And I still regret it. Anna hasn’t died. Literally, she’s alive. But now she can’t hear my voice. Even if I sit next to her and express my regrets and say how sorry I am for not being able to protect her, there’s no answer. And—”

Mari’s eyes blinked once.

Not a single tear fell.

But Ria thought her face looked simply mournful.

“And even if I confess my love, there’s no answer coming back. If I could even just hear a word of rejection from her, I’d be willing to trade my life for that.”

“You are—”

“A shell that couldn’t die when it needed to.”

Mari said.

“A mere empty shell that’s only clinging to memories of the past.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Who knows.”

Mari thought for a moment, then smiled and opened her mouth.

“Just think of it as meddling. Honestly, I don’t really know either. After all, you’re not me.”

“……”

Ria had only spent a few months with Anna. In a few months, it would be one year.

But she couldn’t really explain why she felt such deep emotions during that short period of time.

Perhaps if her past self heard this, she would have burst into laughter.

Maybe that’s why Mari couldn’t say anything either.

And now, for a time many times greater than those few months, she is holding onto those regrets.

“Isn’t it about time? Go in and rest.”

Though a few minutes remained, Ria decided to follow that suggestion.

After giving Mari a slight nod, Ria entered the room.

Anna had already fallen asleep.

She must have tried to wait. In fact, she wasn’t even properly covering herself with the blanket. She was simply exhausted from pouring out her Saint Power during the day.

After removing only her armor, Ria lay down beside her.

She covered both of them with the blanket and gently pulled Anna by the waist.

Anna’s body was warm and soft. Familiar, yet never tiresome.

Before it got too late, I wonder…

Should I seriously think about this?

I definitely didn’t want things to go as Mari mentioned.

Bringing her face closer to Anna’s head, Ria closed her eyes.

Feeling the comforting warmth and taking in her scent, Ria drifted off to sleep.

She woke up again shortly after.

The reason for waking up was the cries of monsters.

Mari’s advice proved to be true.