Chapter 165

First of all, let me tell you, everything was a coincidence. It was a crappy coincidence created by a collaboration between my mother, whom I just met, the Apostle of Dreams, and some young couple with an ugly baby.

On my way upstairs, I saw the young couple happily holding the baby. The Apostle of Dreams told me that our mother loves me, but love isn’t about neglect or telling someone to hit you. It’s not about a mother who abandons you and orders you to be beaten.

The young couple was so happy with their wrinkly, ugly baby, hugging it and making baby talk.

“Aw, is our baby hungry?”

Even though the baby probably couldn’t understand a word.

If that’s what being a parent is like, I don’t want to be one. They say abused children often grow up to be abusive parents. Not everyone, and I wasn’t exactly abused, but… someone like me would definitely end up being a failed parent. So, it’s better not to have kids at all. I should be more careful in the future…

[Young Master, what kind of man will you become? You’ll probably make a lot of women cry.]

[Are you hugging the Young Master again? People will think he’s your lover. Are you breastfeeding him or something?]

[Well, the Goddess is busy, so we raised him together, and since he follows me around like this, isn’t he half my child? What do you think, Daesu?]

[What kind of bullshit logic is that? The Goddess personally created this child, so he’s hers. Are you trying to file for custody or something? And what, am I the wise King Solomon of Israel? Should I split him in half? And what do you mean half your child? Do you think custody is like chicken?]

[Hey, you crazy bastard! Why are you cursing in front of the Young Master? I was just asking… Friends are supposed to…]

[You’re the one cursing…]

The voices of the young man and woman came like arrows piercing my eardrums.

“Damn it…”

I could tell one of the voices belonged to Hadaesu, the Apostle of Dreams. But whose was the woman’s voice? It wasn’t my mother’s. Damn, my head was pounding like the morning after drinking too much soju and beer.

[Young… Master… run…]

[Goddess… don’t… I’m your… child…]

[Forgive… both… how dare you…]

I couldn’t hear the last part clearly through the noise, but the male voices were familiar. One was Hadaesu, as I just mentioned… and the other? Damn, my memory is bad, so racking my brain won’t help. I kept walking.

I’m not some generic mobile RPG protagonist with amnesia. What nonsense. Like I’d press a skill button to use an ultimate move while with my mom, get equipment from a monster, and die while trying to equip it. Even I, a lunatic, think that’s complete bullshit.

Despite my headache, I managed to reach Airi’s hospital room.

“Airi, it’s me. Your Master. How dare you not come and call for me instead? Tsk, I’m coming in.”

“Master, wait…!”

Let me say it again, it was a coincidence. If it weren’t for that couple, if my mom hadn’t visited without a gift, if the Apostle she brought hadn’t said strange things, if that couple hadn’t shown up, if that wrinkly, ugly baby hadn’t cried about being hungry… that damn headache wouldn’t have come.

If it weren’t for the headache, I, the reincarnation of an English gentleman, wouldn’t have forgotten the etiquette of knocking. And if I had knocked instead of barging in, I wouldn’t have seen Airi’s bare upper body as she was changing clothes.

“Haha, I’m screwed.”

“I told you to wait!”

It was pink. And the pillow flew at me, and the pillow was white. Damn it.

It’s unfair. This isn’t my fault. It’s all because of my mom, Hadaesu, Adolf Hitler, that young couple, Hoon, that wrinkly, ugly baby, and Joseph Stalin. Why should I be punished? This is why we need to strengthen laws against false accusations.

==================================================================

“So, it was an accident?”

Of course, it was an accident. Otherwise, something straight out of a 1980s Japanese love comedy manga wouldn’t have happened. Honestly, when I read manga, I’d curse at the protagonist who made excuses, saying accidents are just excuses… but what kind of battles have you teachers been fighting?

Now I believe the teacher who kept shouting, ‘I didn’t do it!’ Teachers, we have a lot in common.

“Well… since you’re hurt and in pain, I’ll let it slide this time. But next time, please knock.”

But you idiots, I have a disciple who’ll let this slide. Unlike you, who get attacked and labeled as perverts, I’m on a whole different level, you sex offenders.

“Right, I’m really sorry, Airi… I’ve been so busy lately that I forgot to knock.”

“Master, do you have problems to worry about too?”

What does she think I am? Damn, I’m such a serious and thoughtful person. If there’s anyone as thoughtful and serious as me, bring them out. I’ll crush them and prove I’m the best.

“You think I live without a care in the world, huh? Well, you’re partly right, but I do have my worries, Airi.”

“Wasn’t your motto to have a place to sleep and bread to eat today, and let tomorrow’s you handle tomorrow’s problems?”

“Well, that’s true… but too much has changed.”

Many people I didn’t know have died. I didn’t play much of the DLC where the Black Round Table appears, but these guys aren’t just game characters. And the people I killed were villains, but they were still people. Especially Tristan… he was someone who wouldn’t have died if Werner, no, if I had acted properly. I pushed him down the path of evil and killed him with my own hands.

The others were naturally evil, so I had some justification… but this time was different. I ruined someone’s life and took it away.

With all the complicated family issues tangled up, I’ve lost my appetite.

“If you can’t find an answer no matter how much you think… just grab God by the collar and solve it.”

I already did that today, disciple.

“Talking like an adult, disciple.”

“It’s better than just agonizing over it. Just do something, clash head-on, and whether a fight breaks out outside or not, if you focus on something… a clear answer will come.”

A kid who just became an adult was talking like a seasoned old man. It was so admirable that I patted her head.

“Honestly, if someone overheard, they’d think you’re older than me and my master.”

“I’m more mature than I look.”

“Well, I’m more childish than I look.”

I ended up grabbing my mother by the collar. I knew she had her reasons, and I realized she came to get me for my sake. But… the prejudice that she abandoned me led to that violence.

Everything I create turns out like this. I planted evil in Tristan’s heart, gave birth to filial impiety and violence… Damn, it’s like I’m only producing black things, like some black-boned chicken.

“Airi… I don’t think I’d be a good parent. Even if I happen to meet a woman, I’d just end it as a one-night stand. Someone like me… could never give affection to a child.”

If I can grab my own mother by the collar, wouldn’t I do the same to my child? Honestly, even if a child were born, I wouldn’t have the confidence or qualification to love them. So, for the sake of humanity’s future, someone like me should just die without having kids…

“What are you talking about, Master?”

Airi faced me directly, close enough to feel each other’s breath, and smiled.

“If you were that kind of person, you wouldn’t have such a cute disciple. It’s because of your affection that this cute disciple is here.”

“Airi…”

“If anyone says such things to you, just tell me. I’ll go and turn them into blood pudding.”

“Airi, I…”

Before I could say anything, Airi pressed her lips against mine, silencing me. Though no words were spoken, I could feel her strong conviction that no more words were needed.