Chapter 16

Asulin’s smile deepened as she placed her hand on Andymin’s cheek, but it wasn’t just a superficial grin. Even in the dimly lit room, the sparkle in her green eyes conveyed a warmth that was hard to associate with her usual self. Her lips, which usually remained straight and composed, now formed a softness that was rare.

But this gentle smile didn’t last long.

“Today, I’ve only done things I should be sorry for… I couldn’t say thank you except when we were sleeping…”

As Asulin’s expression slowly changed, her voice trailed off uncertainly. The smile of gratitude was replaced by a somber look, tinged with regret. Despite this somber look, it did not diminish her beauty. However, it was clear that the beauty born from melancholy could never match the beauty portrayed in a genuine smile.

Before feeling grateful for Andymin saving her, Asulin had been nothing but apologetic since their wedding night. She felt dirty for having taken him under the guise of a strategic marriage, which was really just a forced one. She couldn’t help but feel guilty about how they had struggled through a reckless duel despite his aversion to alcohol, and then she had drunk excessively and acted wildly.

Even more so, the next morning, instead of preparing a nice breakfast for him, she had only caused him trouble. During the late evening, when an unexpected alliance was formed to resist the demons invading the empire, she had rushed to help the Bright Wing Knights, even using teleportation magic to bring him along, despite it being their first day together. In the chaos, she had barely escaped an assassin’s attack and lost consciousness momentarily.

In those critical moments, while battling the assassin and protecting herself, she could only watch helplessly as Andymin protected her, exhausted from pushing his mana core beyond its limits. Finally, she had collapsed, unconscious, from the strain.

Shaking with shame and self-loathing, Asulin’s hands trembled uncontrollably. As she regained consciousness and opened her eyes, the image of Andymin lying lifelessly on the ground flooded her mind.

“…Ah.”

Her trembling hand tried to gently touch his cheek, causing her to let out a soft moan and quickly retract her right hand. Over the past two days, she had shown nothing but disgraceful behavior. Even if she listed all the events, there was no doubt that no one in her family’s history had ever committed such dishonorable acts.

Worse still, Asulin had made another grave mistake in the late evening. After the battle with the assassin, she had fallen asleep while tending to him in the bedroom, inadvertently disturbing his rest by lying on top of him.

It wasn’t the fact that she fell asleep that mattered; it was the way she had lain on top of him, disturbing his rest, that was the real issue.

‘I couldn’t help it…’

She had been so preoccupied with checking his mana core for any issues after he had pushed himself too far to save her that she had fallen asleep, intoxicated by his presence. This was the ultimate act of embarrassment, even if she had a hundred mouths to speak.

“…”

Asulin’s right hand, which had been hovering around Andymin’s cheek, now joined her left hand in shielding her face from her own shame. Even though no one else was present in the bedroom, the sharp edges of her conscience continued to prick her, triggering a natural defensive mechanism.

‘I know I’m ashamed.’

As she repeated to herself, afraid that Andymin might wake up, Asulin meticulously reviewed the accumulation of her mistakes over the past two days, objectively assessing her actions.

There was no doubt that the blame lay entirely with her, and as a result of her actions, Andymin, who was bound in an abnormal marriage, had nearly suffered unjustly.

“…Phew.”

The heat generated by the remorse welling up in her chest made her exhale deeply, her expression turning somber. She knew that her relationship with Andymin was anything but normal, and that she herself was responsible for creating this abnormal bond.

When the war ended, and the emperor, whom she had once considered a friend, revealed to her the terms of the surrender document sent by the former head of the Sword Mansion before his suicide—whereby her entire family would transfer everything to the royal family or the Sword Order—she had accepted everything about the Sword Mansion as if possessed. This led to the forced marriage, which eventually brought them to this point.

Thinking back to the shock and self-loathing Andymin must have felt when he realized he was becoming a mere hostage by marrying into the duke’s residence, despite being the head of a barony, she sighed deeply.

“Phew…”

Asulin could see her own reflection, unable to fully express her remorse and guilt, no matter how deeply she sighed.

Moreover, comparing her ugly behavior with Andymin’s noble conduct only amplified her self-loathing.

Imagine the shock and confusion he must have felt when she suddenly insisted on a traditional ritual in the bridal chamber, forcing him to duel in the bridal chamber while the bride awaited.

If she had been in Andymin’s shoes, she would have believed that she would have jumped out the window in desperation rather than accept the situation.

Yet, Andymin hadn’t shown any resentment towards her after these small rebellions. Instead, he had accepted the gift of a sword and even sparred with her, despite her less-than-perfect condition. After their duel, he had tenderly moved her, who had fallen asleep drunk on the table, onto the bed and praised her appearance kindly.

He had prepared a meal suitable for recovering from minor mana core damage, even though it was more than what was needed, and he had done so with a positive attitude, despite her embarrassment.

This kindness from him far outweighed any rudeness she had shown. His selfless act of protecting her, even at the cost of his own safety against the assassin, was nothing short of sublime.

Even if she tried to view their relationship positively, she knew that their non-standard union, entered into passively, was nothing but a facade. Reflecting on how he had protected her so devotedly, she realized that expressing her gratitude should come after apologizing for her wrongdoings.

“I’ll make sure to do this when I wake up tomorrow…”

With renewed determination, Asulin clenched her fists tightly, hiding them behind her back as she nodded firmly. Her green eyes sparkled with resolve. She decided to start making amends by apologizing properly for the shameful incidents of the past two days.

But as she resolved to apologize, a thought crossed her mind.

She imagined how Andymin would react when she expressed her apology.

Would he respond warmly, like he did when she gently laid him on the bed? Or would he, the undefeated champion except for his father, respond coldly and critically, as he had on the battlefield?

While she couldn’t know for certain until the next morning, her rational mind concluded that the latter was more likely.

And as soon as she reached this conclusion, she felt a chill run through her.

“…Huff.”

She barely managed to suppress the heavy breath that escaped her lips. Even though she was merely imagining, the cold tone of Andymin’s voice in her mind made her shiver, as if it were real.

Shivering slightly, she felt a chill despite the warmth of her body, which had grown accustomed to cold winters. Yet, she knew that despite the absurdity of it, she had to go through with it.

‘…I have to do this.’

The resolve to apologize to Andymin grew stronger, regardless of whether he would accept her apology or respond harshly.

What if he didn’t accept it? Even if he couldn’t publicly acknowledge it, seeing her humble demeanor in private would be enough to relieve some of the pent-up frustration.

Expressing false gratitude to cover up her shame was better than doing nothing.

“…”

Closing her eyes and nodding silently, Asulin gathered her thoughts and decided firmly to lay back down on the bed instead of touching Andymin’s cheek. Worrying about whether he would accept her apology had kept her awake all night, and she didn’t want him to feel unnecessary guilt over her haggard appearance.

Lying back down on the bed, Asulin closed her eyes and tried to sleep. But her heart raced uncontrollably.

“Why…?”

Her racing heart began to disrupt her peaceful sleep.