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Chapter 150

Chapter 14: Reason and Emotion

So, what happened after that—

“Did you sleep well?”

Surprisingly, Ria asked me this.

I had fallen asleep in Ria’s arms again, and when I woke up, Ria was already up.

It felt really unfair. After all, I was the one who woke up first. Well, I couldn’t quite explain why it felt unfair since my brain wasn’t exactly firing on all cylinders right now, but still, it felt like it.

I had plenty of opportunities to see Ria’s face up close.

There had definitely been several times we were this close before.

It wasn’t like it was my first time being this close to her.

But why was I feeling this embarrassed?

“… So, how did we end up like this?”

I suppressed my feelings as much as I could. No matter how I thought about it, admitting my feelings just because I saw Ria’s face up close would be a disaster.

I had the sense this was an opportunity, but it surely wasn’t the sort of chance you’d want to confess your feelings.

“Ah, well…”

Ria looked flustered as she seemed to realize just how close we were.

Once more, I tried to come to a rational conclusion in my mind.

Yeah. Emotionally speaking, I wanted to stay like this. Ria was pretty, she had a nice figure, and I liked her personality— anyway, looking at my preferences and our relationship, it led to the conclusion that I liked Ria… No, that wasn’t it.

What on earth?

I wanted to hug the person I liked, so what?

But showing that wasn’t exactly a good idea.

Imagine one person in a wrestling match confessing their feelings to the other while holding them from behind. Would the audience watching that understand, even if they saw it unfold right in front of them? Just so you know, Ria was perfectly capable of knocking me out, and we were that close.

Somehow, I didn’t think Ria would do that, but anyway, confessing in this situation didn’t seem like a great idea.

So, I looked up at Ria, trying to act like it was no big deal— I couldn’t exactly show that I disliked it. I wasn’t that great at acting— with my eyes half-open.

“…”

Ria looked down at me, a bit embarrassed, and said, “It’s cold at night since we’re in the desert.”

“…”

“But your body got a little cold because you passed out. Well, I couldn’t just leave you dirty, so I wiped you down with water and changed your clothes…”

“Did you wash me?”

“Uh, right?”

“So you took my clothes off and washed me with water. And then you dressed me in these thin clothes.”

“Well… I couldn’t put you in the water, so I wiped you down with a towel, using warm water.”

Ria looked down at me, a worried expression on her face.

“Is that a bad thing?”

Should I be honest?

It’s not that it bothered me. I was just incredibly embarrassed. It felt like my heart was about to jump out of my chest. I was worried that if I kept this up, Ria might actually feel my heart racing and I instinctively tried to pull back—

What in the world?! Ria is wearing just as thin clothes as I am! What are they wearing here?!

—And suddenly froze.

“It’s not a bad thing.”

I answered as calmly as I could.

“Thank you, Ria. You carried me all the way here when I collapsed, right?”

Naturally, my mind kept wandering to thoughts about how Ria had seen me naked, but I managed to thank her with a neutral expression.

It was familiar. Saying thanks to Ria wasn’t something new.

Ah, yeah.

I keep saying thanks, don’t I?

I don’t really have anything to give in return. I guess I’ll be receiving some money as a Saintess candidate or something. And since Ria was my knight, she might receive some support from the church too.

But still, it wouldn’t amount to much compared to what Ria could earn by working as a Hunter.

Thinking about that made my heart sink quickly.

I realize I’ve just been taking too much from Ria.

“… Thank you so much.”

“Uh, no…”

Ria blushed a little, seeming a bit shy. It felt like she was just now realizing how close we were.

Every time I got hurt, Ria acted like she was the one suffering. She must have been really flustered to see me in that state.

She hurriedly wiped me down, changed my clothes, rushed to warm me with her body. Just like two people enduring the cold together on a snowfield.

Seeing Ria like that, I was embarrassed by the feelings I was having.

What’s wrong with me?

I felt unworthy of being a Saintess— if I truly was a Saintess, she would be the most incredibly ungrateful one.

*

It was an excuse.

In truth, everything Ria did for Anna was purely based on her own desires.

It couldn’t be helped.

Anna’s body would have recovered quickly after the fight. There was still some blood flowing from her hands, but I knew from experience that wrapping it up would eventually stop the bleeding, and even if it got a bit messy, it could be handled as long as the visible parts were wiped down. After all, Saint Power had the ability to disinfect things too.

So, in deciding to clean Anna’s body, Ria’s personal feelings were heavily intertwined.

But at the same time, those feelings weren’t solely about wanting to see Anna’s body.

She didn’t want to leave Anna, a heroic figure who had fought with her life on the line, in such a messy state.

That said, she could have asked a servant to help. The King praised the hard work of the two and mentioned that he could offer assistance at any time.

But she didn’t want to do that.

She didn’t want to show her body to someone else. Even if the other person was just another maid.

After seeing her desire in her magic power, Ria didn’t want to reveal that same desire to anyone else.

…What a bothersome desire it was.

Usually, a regular person wouldn’t think too much about the presence of someone of the same gender while changing clothes in a locker room. They wouldn’t find it odd if a friend changed clothes while others were watching. As long as they didn’t stare like a creep, it was all fine.

That was the problem. The person Ria happened to have feelings for was a woman. Anna was a woman.

So, ironically, it meant that she could feel jealousy not just towards other women, but even toward men.

“…”

Anna had no idea what impulse Ria felt while gazing down at her sleeping form. Nor would she understand what kind of personal feelings there were, even when wearing that thin clothing.

Even as they both started to sweat slightly from each other’s warmth, Anna would never figure out what Ria’s intentions really were.

This feeling was meant to remain hidden.

…A dangerous emotion that should never be felt by someone who is meant to protect.

“Thank you.”

Anna looked up at Ria gently and spoke sincerely.

Her arms were still wrapped around Ria’s waist, almost as if she didn’t doubt that they had somehow embraced each other while asleep.

That made Ria’s conscience ache even more.

“… I’m glad.”

Ria replied, her face still flushed.

Anna seemed to interpret Ria’s flushed face in a different way, and she didn’t doubt her words at all.

That innocence only served to further complicate Ria’s feelings.

Ah, what should I do?

Ria was in a bind.

This was incredibly awkward.

In the end, unable to act in any way—overwhelmed with guilt—she neither let go nor hugged Anna more tightly and just lay there.

*

Somehow, I managed to back away without looking at Ria too much and went to the bathroom with a towel to wash myself.

Ria’s attempts to warm my body had worked well, and I had sweated quite a bit while sleeping. Ria had too.

Thanks to that, I was alive. Not that I had any complaints.

We awkwardly washed ourselves in silence. Today, I even washed my own hair.

Slowly drying my hair, I decided to re-dress and go meet the King.

There had been some injuries from our fight, but fortunately, no one had died.

The monster was reported to have disappeared without leaving a corpse behind.

And Paina, who had been the host of that monster, was alive.

That was certainly a happy thing but—

“I want to serve your gods.”

The King made this bombshell declaration to me.

“…”

I stood there with my mouth agape for a moment, before asking back, “What?”

That was a rude attitude, but the King merely shrugged his shoulders.

“My sister wants to become a nun like you.”

“…”

The King stared down at me silently. His gaze didn’t carry much emotion. He seemed to be looking more out of curiosity.

“So, I told her to go for it.”

“Excuse me?”

I asked again, but the King calmly continued.

“So, I hope you accept my sister into your church. Ah, yes. One of her maids who served her wishes to convert to your religion as well. I would appreciate it if you could accept them together. I will generously reward you for it, of course, separate from the gratitude I owe you and your knights for your hard work.”

“…”

I stood there, still dazed, until Ria lightly squeezed my arm, and that brought me back to my senses.

“… Huh?”

Ah, that doesn’t mean I was fully back. Not at all.


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No, How Can an Atheist Become a Saintess!?

No, How Can an Atheist Become a Saintess!?

아니, 무신론자가 어떻게 성녀가 되겠어요!?
Score 7.2
Status: Ongoing Type: Author: Released: 2024 Native Language: Korean
It’s impossible for an atheist to become a saintess! I merely expressed my thoughts on a ridiculous novel, and I ended up reincarnating into that story… in the exact scenario I found most absurd. Ugh, this is too much!

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