Chapter 149

Posted by Kuze, ? Views, Released on January 31, 2025

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Sure! Here’s the translation:

—

Yes.

I really hate it when guys crash a yuri party.

Thinking about it, if my previous parents heard about this, they would probably faint. They might even think that a guy intruding on a yuri party is “natural.”

Just saying I’ve read that kind of novel would have definitely made them pray to God, asking for me to be kept from going down the wrong path.

I’ve never actually heard anything from my past self scolding me. It’s like I’ve never seen the light in this life at all.

…

Well, it’s true that yuri isn’t the issue here. I’ve always thought that everything in modern culture is already tainted by evil. Just playing a slightly bloody game makes you a potential murderer, and horror movies with plots that oppose faith? Definitely made by the Antichrist. Even if someone who believes in God wins in the end, they wouldn’t want to listen to it at all.

Honestly, it’s incredible that I managed to develop such stubborn taste despite growing up in such a house.

I wonder how it would have been if I had always been this kind of daughter?

So, if I told them that I like girls instead of guys, and that I have someone I like but I’m worried they might not like me back, what would they say?

…In their minds, they would see themselves as “good parents.” Those who fight against the evil in the world and follow true faith.

They would probably try to reason with me. They would most likely say things very different from what I think now.

It’s strangely amusing, but I sometimes miss those parents.

It was a house full of frustration, but still, sometimes.

Because, after all, they were family to me.

Perhaps that’s why I hated that God even more than usual.

The very notion of God, which I disliked and opposed, might have stemmed from that reason.

Now, frankly, I don’t even know what to do.

If something exists up there, I want to tell them that I wasn’t an evil person when I stand before them after dying someday. The only wrong I did was not believing in your existence, so if you want to throw me into hell, do it.

Honestly, I didn’t expect anything. It’s not that I didn’t hope to go to heaven. I just thought there was no such thing as God to begin with.

So, in my mind, there was no one to send me to hell or apologize to me.

“…I’m really sorry.”

With a hint of red, a bobbed hair.

At first, I thought it might be Ria, but it wasn’t. The expression on the person in front of me was a bit softer than Ria’s.

Hmm, would Ria have gotten mad if she heard this?

There was another difference. Though they had a similarly short haircut and a hint of red, the hair color of the person in front of me wasn’t as fully red as Ria’s. If a red-haired person and a black-haired person had a child, I wonder if their hair would look like this.

This person was probably the “God” people talk about.

And this memory, well, it doesn’t seem to be something I’m experiencing right now.

Rather, it feels like a memory from a long time ago.

“I’m sorry…”

I murmured like that.

It wasn’t the answer I was expecting.

Yeah. At least this much.

Growing up while being forced to believe in God since childhood, I ended up hating the very concept of God.

Even though I’ve been told that this is not the God I grew up with, if there truly is such a being in the heavens, I would think they are an incredibly arrogant being.

However, the only words that “God” had for my soul after I died and went to the heavens were “I’m sorry.”

What should I respond with?

I often had delusions.

I wanted to say that I lived with dignity. That I had done nothing wrong. That I lived as well as I could, doing my best as much as I could.

I can’t say it was a perfect life. I fought with my family and was someone who gave up trying to understand each other.

Perhaps the remaining life after that was just venting my frustrations.

I’m such a good person, but my family misunderstood me. Liking games, watching movies freely, enjoying comics or anime, that should have been enough to be considered a good person.

I wanted to say that they were wrong.

Yeah. What I wanted to say was just venting. I wanted to scream that they were wrong before God and ask why my life had to be this way.

But—

“I’m sorry.”

What I heard was that.

“……”

After being dazed, suddenly the moment of my last breath came to mind. Yes, I surely would have jumped toward a child without thinking. Maybe it was because the brakes were broken or I had fallen asleep while driving. I was pushing the child away from the truck that was going to hit them at the crosswalk.

I probably died.

I swallowed. I touched my body. I still felt the sensation in my hands.

However, my body didn’t quite seem visible.

Is this what you call a soul?

“……”

What should I say? Everything I was thinking flew out the window the moment I heard that apology. The very premise I was considering was already broken. What would be the point of asking why that happened now?

“The child…”

In the end, I asked.

“Is the child okay?”

“……”

God stared right through me.

“Do you even know what the current situation is?”

God asked me.

This time, I found myself staring back at God.

“I’m dead, right?”

God seemed momentarily at a loss for words.

Maybe it was because I was still in shock, but now I could finally see God properly. They were beautiful. A woman, wearing what looked like an elaborate nun’s attire. I wasn’t sure if it was really a nun’s outfit or not.

They had nothing on their head.

The expression that appeared on that face was literally “sadness.” It didn’t seem like an act. If they were indeed an omnipotent God, they could hide that too.

“…Knowing all this, the first question you ask is that.”

“While being dead is inevitable, if the last thing I did was meaningless, then that would be a problem.”

If I died and the child also died, that would just be a loss. It would mean the decision was unreasonable.

A life is usually the greatest asset a person holds.

“The child is okay.”

God nodded gently in response.

“They might have scraped their knees and hands a little, but they didn’t fall too hard.”

“Then, that’s a relief.”

Really.

No matter how reasonable or unreasonable it might be.

Or, was I thinking that rationally? In any case, I was glad they could be saved.

“……”

I sank into thought and then asked.

“So, does that mean I’m going to hell now?”

Slightly provocatively.

Right when I had just woken up, my mind wasn’t quite right, but as the surroundings started to sink in, my head felt clearer.

Yeah. I probably found myself in front of God right now.

Where my soul is being determined for where it will go in the afterlife.

To my question, for some reason, God’s eyes widened, and they stared at me quietly.

“Well…”

And, while contemplating, they tilted their head.

“If I send the person who sacrificed themselves to save a child to hell, I’m sure that would lead to a lot of resentment… Besides, your life had no shame, did it?”

“Because I didn’t believe in God.”

“Is not believing in someone a sin? Do you think so? It seems you weren’t that devout after all.”

“……”

If that’s the case, I had nothing to say.

“Then, to heaven?”

“That’s something I would dislike.”

God now seemed to finally grasp the atmosphere and playfully tossed the words back.

“You think heaven is a boring place, don’t you?”

I had joked about that before.

I’d seen it on the internet… And read it in some novels, wondering if time in heaven was just spent singing hymns until the end.

Oh, do they know those stories?

“……”

We stared at each other for a while.

“Well, if it’s neither, then where to…?”

“Hm, I had a plausible joke prepared, but considering this situation, if I said we’re going to a place like hell, I think you’d believe it, so I’ll just be straightforward.”

God stood up.

And for some reason, bowed their head toward me.

Naturally, I was taken aback, but God merely spoke gently.

“I have one favor to ask.”

“……”

“If you grant my request, I’ll do my best to fulfill whatever you wish.”

I blinked at God in a daze and then said,

“Then, can you grant my wish first?”

“…Your wish?”

“Yes. What I want is—”

*

“———What wish———!?”

I shouted as if I had been shocked, sitting up abruptly.

What?

Did that wish mean to make me not believe in God? Even though I heard that free will cannot be changed, am I asking for my memory to be erased? If I can’t erase the memory, should I lock it away? What if it comes back someday?

Am I an idiot? Just because I’m glad I’m not going to hell doesn’t mean I should waste my wish like that! I prided myself on being rational and logical, yet here I am wallowing in sentimentality…!

And then, I covered my mouth with both hands.

“Uh.”

I heard a familiar sound right next to where I was lying.

It was Ria.

This time, I almost fell off the bed out of shock for a different reason.

We were both in the same bed.

Well, it wasn’t like I hadn’t slept in the same bed with her before.

But it felt a bit strange even so.

Not that I hated it or anything.

“Uh…”

Ria turned towards me while making another sound.

“……”