In the endless fall, I couldn’t feel where my hands or feet were. It felt like sinking into the deep sea, but there was nothing wrapping around my body. It was just slowly descending, neither speeding up nor slowing down, heading towards an endless bottom.
The faces of those women I saw that day kept appearing in my mind. And countless events that happened over several days seemed to have happened just moments ago in my head.
I am not a great person. I’ve always been like this. Compared to people with outstanding abilities, I lacked strength, and compared to those with great momentum, I lacked vigor.
All I could do was try my best to fill in my shortcomings, and in the process, I often repeated irreversible mistakes.
Although I thought I had gained the ability to handle various situations through many experiences by the time I reached this day, I always felt precarious like a young child left at the water’s edge when facing something I had never experienced before.
I don’t know where it started going wrong. People who have experienced major events often imagine how they would act if they could go back to that moment.
If I could go back, I would do better, choose a better way, and surely not make such big mistakes. That’s what I thought.
But if I could go back, I wouldn’t be confident about making better choices. The process might be different, but the outcome would likely remain the same. It has always been that way.
Thinking that I would do better if I could go back is just overestimating myself.
Even if I knew which point in time to go back to, I wouldn’t overestimate myself.
When this endless descent finally ends, I will take responsibility for what I did. That’s all I thought.
A familiar scent brushed against my nose. When I opened my eyes, I saw a ceiling made of white tiles, and the first smell I noticed was the disinfectant smell of a hospital.
And like seeing light in a dark place, all the information about my surroundings rushed into my mind in an instant.
I was in a hospital room. An IV was inserted into my wrist, and I lay on a soft blanket in a patient’s gown on a hospital bed. Carefully lifting my body, I saw the outside scenery through the window.
The dark view outside told me it was late at night without even looking at the clock. I turned my head at the belated awareness of someone’s presence.
There was one person sleeping face-down on the bed next to mine, sitting in a chair. She wore the Spacystro uniform and had familiar ash-gray tone hair. She was my direct superior, Luche, whom I had faced repeatedly.
Exhausted from sleep, she didn’t even notice I had woken up. As I recalled the expression she had when I told her about past events, I remembered that it was an expression I couldn’t understand and probably never would. But one thing was clear: she was greatly shocked.
Should I wake her up, or should I leave her as she is for now? If she wakes up, what should I say first?
“…How long has it been?”
As my consciousness gradually returned, I instinctively knew quite a lot of time had passed since that day. There was no way to tell the date within the hospital room. All the wall clock showed was that it was late at night.
My gaze turned back to the window. Surely, a considerable amount of time had passed, but how were the HunterKiller members doing during this time?
It was revealed that I was a Spacystro and had met them. Undoubtedly, they were shocked, and they must have endlessly cursed me during this time.
From the perspective of the HunterKiller members, I was just an enemy soldier they played with and deceived. Even if I was beaten until I died, or even if I died while being beaten, there would be no excuse.
Regardless, I had given my all and truly loved them, so regret and remorse overwhelmed me. In the end, I realized again after the incident that my choice had problems.
Nothing had changed since the day I tried to save Ati long ago.
While staring blankly out the window for some unknown period, I turned my head at the sound of the hospital room door opening.
“Luche, stop and let’s go to the room…”
Siera, dressed in the Spacystro uniform, seemed to have come to take Luche, who was sleeping in the room. When our eyes met, Siera stopped in her tracks.
“…Hi, Siera.”
I greeted her awkwardly, unsure of what expression to make, and as soon as she heard my voice, tears welled up in Siera’s eyes.
She held a drink can in her hand, apparently meant for Luche, but her trembling hand eventually dropped the can.
The can made a loud noise as it hit the floor, and Luche, startled awake, turned her gaze toward the direction of the sound without even a chance to look at me.
“It surprised me. Siera, why did you…?”
Luche, awakened by surprise, stopped talking when she saw Siera, who was standing still with tears in her eyes, looking at me.
Slowly turning her head, Luche met my gaze.
I couldn’t think of what to say to Luche, so as usual, I awkwardly smiled and blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
“I’m sorry.”
“Eh, ehh!”
Reddening her eyes instantly, Luche began to cry and then rushed into my arms, hugging me tightly.
Though I felt the pressure of her embrace around my waist, I didn’t say anything and just stroked her back gently while holding her.
Luche cried loudly while hugging me, filling the quiet hospital room with her sorrowful sobs.
Seeing Siera approach me step by step, I felt another awkward smile forming because I hadn’t thought of what to say to her yet.
Siera’s eyes were so red that she looked like she would cry at any touch, and she was trying hard to hold back her tears by clenching her lips.
“You fool.”
“…I’m sorry.”
Siera and I are old friends, so I felt even more sorry for her.
Before coming to Earth, we shared daily life together and experienced many things as colleagues and friends. I worried about her because of what had happened.
“It’s okay. You’re safe and awake now.”
Then Siera hugged me. Luche was still crying out loud, and I could feel Siera’s heart beating rapidly as she embraced me tightly.
“So… so I said not to do anything!”
The words that usually sounded nagging now felt different at this moment.
“Why do you always solve everything alone without considering your thoughts? If you’re going to do something, why not do it together? Am I really that unreliable?!”
Listening silently to Siera’s bitter words, I didn’t refute her. Her tone wasn’t aggressive, and I felt even more sorry for her, unable to offer any excuse.
“Guh, guh!”
Though I couldn’t hear her clearly over Luche’s crying, Siera was crying too. My actions had made both of them sad, so I waited silently until they could calm down.
One month had passed since the Olympic Bridge bombing incident.
This event, which initially sparked heated discussions in the media and on various community sites, quickly became a global issue, and stories about hyper-humans flooded everywhere.
The fervor seemed endless, but it eventually subsided. Though the issue of hyper-humans didn’t completely disappear, news continued to cover the Olympic Bridge bombing incident.
It was reported that a meeting between Earth Defense Union and Spacystro had taken place, and Spacystro announced they would handle the situation. The Earth Defense Union also announced they would strengthen control over hyper-humans, leading to a gradual decrease in public reaction.
However, while the public response had faded, the backlash against hyper-humans in everyday life intensified.
Stores refusing to serve hyper-humans appeared, and hyper-humans walking on the street were openly criticized.
“Isn’t he that hyper-human?”
“It looks like him.”
After the incident, Spacystro Seoul Branch temporarily suspended activities, and the Earth Defense Union Seoul Branch also ceased confrontations, leaving affiliated hyper-humans with no external activities.
HunterKiller leader Red also received negative looks like other hyper-humans.
Since the confrontation didn’t happen, she decided to focus on her university life for now. Continuously reminding herself of the loss of A would not help, and hoping for their return was pointless, so she wanted to divert her attention elsewhere.
“Was there a hyper-human in our department?”
“Yeah, they were at the scene during the Olympic Bridge bombing.”
Though Red was indeed near the Olympic Bridge that day, she had nothing to do with the bombing. It was a unilateral action by Team Guerrilla, and Team HunterKiller was merely preparing for a confrontation nearby.
But to people, these details didn’t matter.
Red was a hyper-human, and a huge event like the Olympic Bridge bombing occurred just a month ago, with Red being present there.
While some people logically judged the situation, the voices expressing hatred towards hyper-humans based on media reports were much louder.
Red didn’t respond much to their reactions. She knew that speaking up wouldn’t change their minds and that they would still talk behind her back.
“…”
Hearing whispers about herself, she turned her gaze, and those who had been watching her cautiously quickly dispersed.
Red’s seat was always empty before and after lectures, and she found it comforting. She put her textbooks in her bag and stood up from her seat.
She mentally organized her assignments, ignoring the glances directed at her, and left the lecture hall.
“I need to go to work…”
Realizing it was time to go to work, she remembered her part-time job. Though the store manager had asked her to quit, her livelihood depended on it, so she couldn’t give it up.
At the convenience store, she wore a hat pulled low and a mask whenever she worked. She even added glasses, though they weren’t needed, to prevent people from recognizing her face.
Even while working, she never put down her textbooks. Except when serving customers, she focused solely on studying, avoiding any thoughts of Spacystro or hyper-humans.
Whenever her mind wandered or relaxed, thoughts of A immediately surfaced. During the past month, she had been angry and disappointed about A.
But after feeling those emotions, she always missed A, and the longing weakened her more than any other emotion.
Thus, she needed time to think about other things. Everywhere she went or looked, thoughts of A came up, so she needed to think about something else, even briefly.
“What would Older Brother think of this?”
Even when studying, whenever she encountered unfamiliar parts, thoughts of A would arise. She shook her head to clear her thoughts and refocused on something else.
When she got home after work, the most painful time began. It felt like the world had gone dark, with nothing entering her eyes or ears.
The light she had painfully sought amidst the scrutiny of many people’s gazes disappeared, leaving only a sense of loss.
Since that day, Red visited A’s house every day, waiting quietly in his room for his uncertain return.
To ensure the house wasn’t dirty when he returned, she cleaned regularly and tried to maintain her usual appearance so he wouldn’t feel strange.
But A didn’t return after a month, and Red still waited for him here.
“…Older Brother.”
The moment she called out to him, tears welled up, threatening to spill over, so she closed her eyes tightly to hold them back. Lying on A’s bed with her eyes closed, she felt like she was falling endlessly, unable to feel where her hands or feet were.
It felt like sinking into the deep sea, but she felt nothing wrapping around her body. It was just slowly descending, neither speeding up nor slowing down, heading towards an endless bottom.
Opening her eyes, Red’s red eyes were wet with tears.
She lay on the bed, checking her unanswered smartphone. Though she had sent several texts to A, there was no indication they had been read, and there was no response.
Was he really not coming back? Occasionally, she wondered if he had died.
On those days, the time spent waiting for A felt even more painful.
Knowing these were difficult and heartbreaking times, she tried to think of other things as much as possible when outside. However, whenever she lay on A’s bed at home, overwhelming homesickness hit her each time.
“…”
Silently staring at the smartphone screen, she noticed the group chat with HunterKiller members from two weeks ago.
Two weeks had passed since the incident, and despite trying to meet the members and arrange meetings, nothing had worked out. No one had organized a meeting.
On the day we all gathered, we realized we were all suffering from the same feelings and understood that none of us could solve each other’s pain.
The main reason was that the object of our intense longing was the same person. Saying we missed A or felt lonely was complicated because we were all someone’s boyfriend’s replacement.
Though no one knew the truth and everyone was innocent, it was hard to speak up.
But I couldn’t keep this up forever. Red thought as a leader, she had to somehow resolve this issue. Whether the resolution would be good or bad, she had to find a way to handle it.
So, she left a single message in the group chat.
[We will have a meeting next Monday.]
