Chapter 139

I had no idea why this had been uploaded until I looked at the comments. After I opened the comment section… I just closed it.

“Wow, this has gone viral! Amazing, right?”

“What’s viral?”

“It’s the popular rising video. The views have surpassed 100,000.”

“So, you mean 100,000 people have watched this video?”

“There might be people who watched it multiple times, so it’s not exactly precise, but yeah.”

“This is insane….”

Usually, filming is prohibited at events like this, isn’t it? Why on earth is something like this even on YouTube? Moreover, it seemed to have already spread everywhere, as I found videos that were uploaded last night all over different communities when I searched.

“It is indeed prohibited, but it’s practically impossible for people to monitor and stop that.”

“Can we ask for it to be taken down? Or should we file a lawsuit?”

“It would likely be taken down, but if this many people have seen it, someone would just re-upload it anyway… Lawsuits might have some effect, but it could also attract more negative attention and worse trouble… It might be better to just leave it alone. And, I imagine it’s really hard to sue YouTube?”

This is driving me crazy, seriously.

I briefly entertained the fanciful thought that I might possess some hidden talent as a singer, but no matter how much I thought about it, it was just not possible. In fact, there were no comments on YouTube saying I sang well. There were just a ton of comments saying I was cute….

I wandered around various communities to check the comments on this video. Each site had a different vibe, but there were typically about three types of comments. The most common ones expressed how cute, interesting, or surprising it was.

“Super cute, wow, who is this kid?”

“No, this is not a kid, lol, it’s a 28-year-old adult male.”

“Wait, what???”

“No, it’s true;; He has a rare disease that made him look like this.”

“Is it contagious?”

“Wow;; that’s surprising.”

“But he really can’t sing, this is all voice distortion.”

“The fact is that if the voice is good, half the work is done…”

“Could probably join ‘Show Me the Money.’”

“Is this a joke?”

“But the song selection is something else.”

“Seriously, he sounds completely like a kid, but the song selection is totally uncle-like.”

“Why is that an uncle thing, damn it?”

“Does the uncle have dentures?”

“Throw rocks only at those who haven’t heard ‘Butterfly.’”

“It’s written right here though?”

Yeah, at this point, it was considerate. No, seriously, this level of comments was quite wholesome. At least nobody was cursing at me or sexual harassing me. If I went to a bigger community, people spewing rage and hatred were visible.

“Wow… Now I’ve even seen a woman-hating man acting like this, haha! He insults women every day and then freaks out like this, it’s really disgusting.”

“Ugh, I totally agree, I feel that way too.”

“Cringe.”

“It’s like a bloodbath…!”

“Get out of here, auntie.”

“Lol, are the degenerates having another meeting?”

“Auntie.”

“Is that all you ever say?”

“Auntie.”

“Are you a parrot? Just saying that won’t get to me, you losers.”

“Auntie.”

“Not even fazed, haha.”

“Auntie.”

“You’re not fazed, dumbass.”

“Almost at a pro-level argument.”

…Even this kind of stuff was surprisingly tolerable. In fact, I had received a bunch of similar nasty comments prior. There may have even been a plethora of such posts still being made somewhere until yesterday. At least those comments were just bickering among themselves.

But this was the real thing.

“Wait!! From now on, choose your words carefully! The opponent is a… what? A man! They’re an ally! Open fire!!”

“Why only you, only you, only you, only you, only you, only you?”

“Isn’t this the kind of thing you can get sued for?”

“Honestly, this is definitely worth suing over.”

“What kind of worth, are you crazy?”

“I feel like we’re already at phase 2; a wedding may happen within three years.”

“Can I run for the opposing role?”

“I’m waiting for the change of clothes.”

“You’re already providing me with material.”

“You should become a streamer.”

“Seems like you’re a bit taller than when you appeared on the show before.”

“Does that even make a difference?”

“Pretty sure it does…”

“Still fresh.”

“Wasn’t there also a rumor about Ji Kang-hyeon dating before?”

“Just wow.”

“Stop sending this around, damn it, terrorizing every broadcast with this.”

“Really disgusting pedos, even with that appearance, they say this?”

“Possible.”

“Rather good.”

“Such a comedy, lol.”

“A fantasy we only see in novels was a reality for someone; I hate this world.”

“Everyone has been traced for their IQ, and I’m suing. I’ve screenshot the PPT.”

This country has gone to hell. I think I need to look into immigration procedures.

It would be easier to tolerate feeling bad or being cursed at, but honestly, sexual harassment was tough. No, it was disgusting. I wasn’t a character from a novel or comic. I was a real person. I shouldn’t have to endure this kind of sexual harassment.

Above all, what I couldn’t understand the most was the jealousy… It sent chills down my spine. I couldn’t tell if those words were true, but it didn’t matter.

Of course, I knew. There are plenty of people who feel they were born wrong, who want to become a different gender. If that hatred and jealousy came from those people, then it would be somewhat bearable.

But this… it wasn’t normal. Wanting to become a different gender from the start isn’t normal, but what they wanted was different.

I had defined the genre of TS (transsexual) stories as love, suicide, and evolution. However, that definition does not encompass every individual’s reflections. The common understanding is simply because it’s fun, wanting to be a woman, wanting to be loved, wanting an easy life, that sort of thing.

I do not deny such thoughts. If literature cannot be the axe that breaks my frozen sea, then what needs to be shattered is this reality. But if their axe is aimed at my head… I could never accept that.

For entirely personal reasons.

~

I spent the day browsing the internet for a while. I knew that there was nothing good to be found, but I had to consider how things would unfold for the time being.

And how to explain myself to the acquaintances around me.

Aside from that, it was a day that flowed peacefully. I ordered pizza for dinner and began eating with Jae-Ah. While I was still looking at my phone in front of the table, Jae-Ah said:

“Um, don’t get too absorbed in watching stuff like that. Even reading hate comments doesn’t help at all.”

“So you are not reading comments asking for updates either?”

“How do you know whether I’m reading or not?”

“I recorded it.”

Her expression was amusing. That might actually be good for her mental health.

“I know that there’s no point in continuing to watch this stuff, but right now, I need to understand the situation to some extent. If I hadn’t gone there in the first place, none of this would have happened. This is your responsibility.”

“I’m still a minor, so I’m not responsible.”

“Is that why you went on hiatus?”

“I’m in a slump.”

Slump.

Yeah, I had to discuss this before time ran out.

I don’t think I had ever talked deeply about Jae-Ah’s slump. I had always focused on the direction of the writing she wanted to pursue, so I hadn’t given much thought to that. Even if I had, it might not have been helpful, and above all, Jae-Ah herself didn’t seem to want to talk about it too much.

“When exactly did the slump start? Any idea about the cause or anything?”

“Why does it matter?”

Her rather prickly reaction suggested there was something I shouldn’t touch on. Anyway, I wouldn’t see her for two days anyway. It might be easier just to ignore it. I could get through without it being an issue for me.

“What do you mean, I have to write.”

But I was still Jae-Ah’s teacher for the time being. I was an adult, I was being paid, and I had made her a promise. Since I was unable to keep my promise, I had to at least do something to compensate for it, and I had a responsibility to do my best until the end.

“Even if I’ve focused on her writing so far, I can’t ignore this aspect entirely; I need to have at least minimal information to think of something. As it happens, the thing I’m writing now isn’t going anywhere, so let’s shift our focus a bit.”

You don’t want this situation to continue, right?

I wasn’t sure how that sounded to Jae-Ah. I tried my best to suppress any emotions. After all, it was a continuation of the work, but it was something I had to be responsible for.

There’s an old saying that if you stare into the abyss for too long, you become a monster. The fact that it’s old means trustworthy, so I didn’t plan on peering too deeply into Jae-Ah’s heart.

As Jae-Ah said, over-immersion is never good.

In these remaining two days, I planned to give my all to Jae-Ah. To fulfill my responsibilities, without overextending myself. I finished about half of it yesterday.

Today was my turn to tackle the rest.

“…It happened a year ago.”

“Right.”

That makes sense. The updates stopped a year ago, and she likely started refusing to go to school around the same time. I instinctively guessed that this incident was related to that.

“I had a crush on someone.”

Jae-Ah’s first sentence was completely unexpected.