Chapter 135

I did a lot of things over the past five days.

I stopped by Universal Studios Osaka, toured Kyoto’s landmarks, and even doubled the sales of an izakaya.

One day, I just stayed at the hotel and enjoyed a staycation.

There was really nothing I didn’t do.

And yet, none of it helped me at all.

“Sis?”

“Tatatata.”

My condition didn’t improve.

Han Yoorim was in chaos!

If I just brushed it off as a slump, it wouldn’t make much sense, so let me explain my situation more clearly.

I develop games through the following process.

Anime, manga, novels, movies, dramas, or real-life events—anything works. I see something, and I feel something.

For example, let’s say I read a manga where the childhood friend I hadn’t seen in years became a famous actress, while the protagonist was still an aspiring scriptwriter.

There would be some emotion I feel at that moment. It could be inferiority, ambition, or misery. Or maybe a mix of all those.

It didn’t really matter what exactly I felt.

What mattered was that I felt something.

If I succeeded, that’s where it started.

I’d start thinking about how to make users feel the same emotions I did.

First, I set the genre. The world is the foundation of creation. If I don’t decide this, I can’t build the next block.

Once the genre is set, I choose the protagonist. I set up a protagonist that matches the emotion I want to convey.

I pick their personality, their abilities, and complete their talents.

Once I’ve done that, the rest is easy. I create supporting characters to use as tools, and the background where the protagonist and supporting characters run wild. Then I plan the episodes, and that’s it.

If you’ve listened this far, you’ll know that the most important thing in my creative process is emotion.

When I feel a specific emotion and want to share it with others, that’s when I start developing a game.

Anyway.

So, where did I get stuck in the process above?

From the very beginning.

“Sis. It’s the plum highball you like.”

I downed the plum highball Bunny Run handed me.

The sweetness spreading in my mouth.

My mood naturally lifted.

“How is it? Feeling better?”

“Bunny Run. If eating something delicious could cure a slump, no one would go hiking in the Himalayas for a change of mood.”

And from my experience, hiking the Himalayas was a waste of time.

If hiking the Himalayas cured someone’s slump, it wasn’t a slump—it was just their brain not working due to lack of exercise.

“How about playing a game?”

“I’ve tried.”

“What did you play?”

“You played with me too.”

“…Haunted Building?”

“Yeah.”

Besides that, I also played [Arcane Punk 1009] and [Apocalypse Chef]. I even tried [RE: Snowball Garden] for testing.

I’ve played a lot. I came on this trip because I didn’t feel anything even after playing [Haunted Building], so playing more games here wouldn’t change anything.

“When exactly did you fall into this slump?”

“Well.”

I opened my mouth, counting the days.

“Right after the Elympic tournament ended?”

“…That was months ago. Wait. Sis, didn’t you make a lot of games after that?”

“Actually, ideas still keep popping up. Even now.”

“Really? Then isn’t that fine?”

“Except I don’t feel like doing anything with them.”

As I said, the root of my creative process is emotion.

The moment that’s gone, the rest becomes meaningless.

“…How about watching anime or movies?”

“Bunny Run. An extreme indoor person going on a trip means they’ve already tried everything they can do at home.”

For me, traveling (going outside) is the last resort.

So, by the time I’m on a trip, it means I’ve already tried everything else.

“……”

Bunny Run fell silent.

She slightly lowered her head.

I leaned over slightly to check Bunny Run’s expression.

Her eyes were watery.

Oh.

I straightened back up and spoke.

“Come to think of it, Bunny Run, you’re surprisingly empathetic despite your appearance.”

“…Sniff. What are you going to do, sis?”

“I’m planning to go to a yakitori specialty shop today. They say the liver here is very fresh and delicious.”

“Not that.”

“Of course, we’ll go to an izakaya for the second round. It might seem odd to go to an izakaya after a yakitori specialty shop, but izakayas have such a wide variety of menus that they’re perfect for a second round—”

“What if you can’t make games anymore, sis?”

Bunny Run muttered in a serious voice.

She looked almost as pitiful as a puppy who’d lost its chew toy.

Bunny Run moved her lips again.

“Sis, you—”

“Calm down, Bunny Run. Your concern for me has been well received.”

“If you take game development away from sis, all that’s left is a pretty-faced crazy woman!”

“I get how you usually think of me now.”

Strange.

Since when did my image become like this?

Is it the viewers’ fault?

“Wasn’t I supposed to be a bit smarter, more charismatic, and overflowing with warmth?”

“…Yoorim unnie. Smart, maybe, but the latter two are definitely not it.”

“Sonna.”

I gave a Japanese-style response to Chaenarin’s words.

It’s only natural since we’re in Japan.

Chaenarin slowly continued.

“…I can somehow accept the charisma part, but overflowing with warmth is a bit—”

“There’s no one as warm-hearted as me, right?”

“…Yoorim unnie. I have a question.”

“Go ahead.”

“…If you had to go into seclusion for five years to make a game, what would you do?”

“I’d leave to make it, of course.”

“…What about saying goodbye?”

“Of course, I’d leave a message.”

There was already a precedent.

Back in middle school, before I left to make a game, I left messages for Bbangbbang and Pape.

“So, I’m the type to say goodbye before leaving.”

“…Wrong. People don’t call that saying goodbye.”

Chaenarin firmly struck the xylophone.

This isn’t it?

It was shocking.

“Then what’s the correct answer?”

“…The correct answer is to see your friends’ faces one last time before leaving.”

“Sonna.”

My knowledge has increased.

I’ll have to apply it next time.

“Sis.”

Bunny Run called me while wiping her tears.

When I tilted my head, Bunny Run asked in a grave voice.

“What if you can’t make games like this anymore?”

“Then I’d have to retire.”

“Huh?”

It was such an obvious answer that it felt strange.

Bunny Run sounded slightly shocked.

She spoke up.

“Unnie, did you want to retire…?”

“Not really, but everyone retires at some point, right?”

Of course, my dream is to make games forever.

To keep making games non-stop until the end of the world—that was my dream.

But as you know, dreams have a high chance of not coming true.

That’s why, even though I held onto my dream, I also faced reality separately.

If I can’t do game development anymore, then so be it.

“At that time, I’ll just unlock the 5th stage seal, see what the ultimate game God has in mind, and then retire.”

Honestly, I do wonder sometimes.

What kind of game would come out if I used cheat abilities at 100% and even conceptualized ideas with just a click.

But I never tried it because I thought my motivation for game development would disappear after seeing it.

“So you don’t have to worry too much.”

“Listening to you, unnie, makes me even more worried.”

Bunny Run let out a small sigh and lay down on the bed.

“Unnie.”

“Just say it.”

“So, did I help?”

“Honestly?”

“Yeah.”

At Bunny Run’s words, I nodded and answered with my honest feelings.

“It was a good change of mood.”

“That sounds like I didn’t help.”

“Actually, changing your mood is the standard way to deal with a slump.”

“Can’t you just say I helped?”

“That would be a lie.”

At my words, Bunny Run chuckled and said.

“Typical unnie.”

*

After finishing our trip to Japan, we returned home.

I sipped on the hot chocolate James made.

Bunny Run made a fuss, but honestly, I didn’t take the slump too seriously.

When you live life, you can sometimes lose your sense of fun.

It was frustrating that something that used to work suddenly didn’t, but it wasn’t going to last forever. If I just lived normally, the desire to create would come back.

And if not?

If even after time passed, it stayed the same…

Then I’d just enjoy the life of a young rich person.

Maybe I’d go on a world tour for fun.

I could even buy a cruise ship. My bank account had that kind of power.

Huh. Maybe a life without making games would be better than one with game development?

“Just kidding.”

I went into my room, turned on the computer, and sat down.

I rested my chin on my hand and browsed the internet.

Mainly places where reactions to my games were posted.

Some people gave the reactions I wanted, while others were angry.

I mechanically analyzed why emotions were well conveyed or not, then closed the notepad.

Hmm. This isn’t really appealing either.

What should I do? Should I go climb the Himalayas or something? That thought crossed my mind right after.

Ding ding.

A sudden sound effect echoed from the speakers.

A voice chat connection sound.

On the other end, Pape’s voice came through.

[So, a slump, huh?]

“Where did you hear that?”

[Bunny Run told me.]

Bunny Run had already gone back to her own home.

She wanted to let me rest alone or something.

Whether I was alone in this big house or with someone, it felt the same, so it didn’t really matter.

[Where are you stuck?]

“It’s a long story if I explain.”

[Try me.]

I explained my situation in detail.

Five minutes later. After listening to my explanation, Pape spoke up as if he understood.

[Isn’t it mannerism?]

“Mannerism?”

Mannerism, slump, and burnout seem similar but are different.

Simply put, mannerism is ‘boredom.’ A slump is ‘a downturn.’ Burnout is ‘exhaustion.’

But mannerism, huh.

“If I had to say, wouldn’t I be in burnout right now?”

[If you had no motivation at all, it would be burnout. But that’s not the case, right?]

“Definitely not.”

[If it were a slump, you wouldn’t be able to come up with ideas or material. But that’s not it either, right?]

“Right.”

[So it’s mannerism. You’re stuck because you can’t feel fresh emotions. If this isn’t mannerism, then what is?]

Wow.

“For the first time, you seem reliable, Pape.”

[It’s not the first time.]

“It’s a metaphor.”

[It’s an exaggeration.]

But, hmm.

“In the end, it’s back to square one. Whether it’s mannerism, a slump, or burnout, the solutions are similar.”

All three involve taking a break, recharging, and stuff like that.

Not much different from what I’ve been doing so far.

[It’s not back to square one.]

“Why not?”

[If your symptoms are mannerism, there’s still something you can try.]

“I’ve tried most methods, though?”

[I doubt it.]

Confident Pape.

I asked, filled with curiosity.

“What method is it?”

[You’ll slap your forehead when you hear it.]

“If you raise expectations like that, it’ll be hard to satisfy me. Just say it.”

As I urged him, Pape slowly spoke.

[How about we duo for old times’ sake?]

“Is that really a forehead-slapping method?”

I was slightly disappointed.

After raising expectations like that, the solution he came up with was to duo in [Eternal World].

Well, it has been a while since I properly played [Eternal World].

“Alright. Since my tier dropped recently due to inactivity, doing a duo content to hit 1st place sounds good.”

I readily accepted Pape’s proposal.

I didn’t think playing [Eternal World] now would help much, but I had no other ideas, so I decided to give it a try.

[What are you talking about?]

But contrary to my expectations, Pape scolded me.

Why?

“Wasn’t it about playing [Eternal World]?”

[When did I say that? I said let’s duo for old times’ sake.]

“Was it about duoing in another game? But there’s no game other than [Eternal World] that you and I can play together, right?”

[Why wouldn’t there be?]

Pape chuckled.

And then he said.

[Let’s play a game of League for old times’ sake. How about it?]