The day before the execution, the number of visitors was simply overwhelming, like an army of ants. News that the Saintess was to be executed had spread across the entire continent. Each and every one of them had been blessed by the Saintess and wanted to do something for her before she passed.
Blglblg-.
“Saintess! I am… Billton! I once had my leg healed by you in the small mountain range of Corinth…!”
“These are letters written by the children of Wilhelm Orphanage. Though it may be impossible for you to read them all, please accept their heartfelt sincerity.”
Of course, with Tartarus having a limited capacity and being a place where ordinary humans couldn’t even enter, not everyone could come inside.
In the early morning, the ‘strong ones’ came to visit. For example, the Holy Kingdom’s ‘Knights of White.’
“Saintess, it was an honor to serve you. There will never be another saintess like you, both in the past and future. We will remember you forever.”
Or the Elf Queen, the Divine Archer ‘Elain Asteria,’ who bowed deeply to the Saintess and wept sincerely.
“Maria… I’m sorry… so sorry! If only I had been stronger, this wouldn’t have happened to you! Huh…!”
It was quite amusing to witness the proud and haughty Elf Queen, who didn’t even cry at birth, shedding tears for the first time in her life.
“Everyone, please rise. How can such noble individuals kneel to someone as humble as me, a condemned criminal?”
The Saintess never lost her pure smile, no matter whom she greeted. It made me wonder if her facial muscles would become fixed like mine.
“I can only teach you one thing. No matter how fierce the storms and trials may come, never lose love. Love is the omnipotent and omniscient power of God.”
After what seemed like the commotion of visits had subsided… the real crowd arrived in the afternoon.
From toddlers who couldn’t even read to elderly grandmothers, they all gathered at the Babel Tower. Many had traveled across the continent overnight just to meet the Saintess.
But since ordinary humans couldn’t even step foot into Tartarus, both the Saintess and the visitors were left pacing anxiously.
Clkchk-.
“Saintess, please come out.”
Kelt, who was once a Knight of White and now a warden of Tartarus, gave the signal.
He led the Saintess out of Tartarus and into the visiting room. This was clearly beyond the duties of a warden, but surprisingly, it was an order from the high-ranking Warden Hades himself.
What exactly is a Saintess? What kind of life has she lived that even the god of death respects and honors her? Truly intriguing.
Of course, I couldn’t follow her, so I had to endure lonely solitude.
Though it stung a bit that my last days were spent alone, I’ve always been solitary anyway. I didn’t want to start regretting things now.
Creeeak-.
Clkchk-.
After a long while, the sound of the iron door opening reached my ears.
One of three possibilities: Kelt came back, the Saintess returned, or…
“Thank you for bringing me here, Kelt.”
“It’s just my duty.”
“…Kelt is always diligent. It’s admirable.”
“Thank you.”
Both came back together, then.
When I turned my head, I saw the Saintess with a pale complexion being gently supported by Kelt.
Tired from yawning through a boring day, I greeted her warmly.
“Hey, Saintess. How was your visit?”
It was Kelt’s voice that responded.
“Joker, take good care of the Saintess.”
“What, did something happen outside? Your face looks off.”
“…I trust only you.”
After saying that, Kelt personally entered Tartarus and sat the Saintess next to me before walking away.
His steps seemed somewhat sorrowful, so I tried not to look away.
Clkchk-.
Finally, with the series of door sounds, Kelt’s figure disappeared from sight. Only then did I turn to the Saintess beside me.
“As expected, you overdid it.”
“Anyway… tomorrow, I’ll be nothing more than useless lifespan…”
“You mentioned love before, right? Seems like you’ve stopped pretending now.”
A face devoid of any vitality, a body trembling faintly.
Even though her lifespan was already dwindling, she must have given hers away while sharing that so-called love again.
Hweee- Thud.
The Saintess, who was barely sitting up, collapsed forward again. Fortunately, she fell on me this time. At least her face wasn’t scorched by the hot ground.
“Kick.”
Suddenly, I was surprised. Somehow, I unconsciously thought it was “fortunate” that the Saintess was safe.
It was also proof of her remarkable social compatibility. In this case, however, it wasn’t human-to-human but demon-to-demon.
“Saintess.”
“Yes…”
“You still have the energy to speak, huh.”
The Saintess rested her face against my chest and gasped for breath. She looked very exhausted.
Her labored breathing tickled my ear. A strange sensation wrapped around my heart.
This feeling… it’s the first time.
“What happened at the visiting room?”
“I met many… people…”
“Who all came?”
“The nuns from our sect came… the elder dwarves… and the wizards from the Magic Tower also visited.”
After the war ended, the nuns became monsters’ sex slaves. The dwarves became underground miners for the Demon King’s Army, and the wizards became test subjects for dark magic users.
All of them, in one way or another, were broken, much like the Saintess without eyes.
“Kindred spirits meeting each other.”
“…”
“Was there anything else? Did anyone like a hero or Lilith come to tease you?”
“There were some.”
“Figures. Probably troublemaking demons.”
Since the Saintess was lying on me, pressing her face into my chest and rubbing her forehead against my chin, I couldn’t move an inch.
Except when I experienced those cursed seizures of pain.
“Cough.”
Ah, the only movement independent of my will has nothing to do with my intentions.
Actually, since these seizures were also intended by Merlin Gregory, I might as well be considered a plant-like demon.
“Joker.”
“What.”
“Were you satisfied with your life?”
Out of nowhere, the Saintess asked breathlessly as if she was about to pass out.
“Why ask something like that suddenly.”
“I just wondered. Is it wrong?”
“Are regrets about life starting because you’re nearing death?”
“…Honestly, I thought I could face death without regrets as God’s apostle, but it seems I’m just a normal person after all.”
“What do you regret?”
“I feel it’s too soon to go.”
“How old are you this year, Saintess?”
“I’m twenty-eight.”
“That makes you about the age of my great-great-great-great-grandchild.”
Since my life has lasted longer than most nations… still, I’m young among demons. There are ancient elders like the ‘King’ of the southern Demon Realm who have lived for over a million years.
“Joker.”
“What.”
“Have you ever been in love?”
What, asking such a youthful question?
“I’ve done it more than a hundred times. Do you know how many female demons squealed over my unparalleled technique?”
“Love isn’t just about physical pleasure.”
“Well, what kind of love are you talking about?”
“I thought I was always spreading love, but looking back while lying here, I realize there was no love in my life.”
“…?”
“Isn’t it ironic? The Saintess who should have been the most diligent in spreading love has never actually loved anyone herself.”
“Not making any sense.”
“I’m not talking about the love of Saintess Maria, but the love of girl Maria. The common emotion known as lust.”
How much of her lifespan has she wasted? The Saintess could barely move a finger, only moving her lips.
Unconsciously, I wanted to see her face, but all I could see within my limited view was the back of her head covered by her nun’s habit.
“Silly talk.”
“Is it?”
“Calling yourself a girl at twenty-eight. People call women like you spinsters.”
“You’re the first person to call me a spinster.”
Pfft, the Saintess chuckled lightly. Her laughter, like a gentle breeze, strangely calmed my heart.
“Joker.”
“Again, what?”
“Have you ever truly loved someone?”
“Nope, never. I don’t trust anyone.”
“I think I have. I just realized it.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
The Saintess struggled to lift her head. Her snow-white face, dirtied by grime, stared straight at me.
Only faded features remained:
An eye bandaged with dried blood scabs.
A delicately pointed nose.
Cracked, lifeless lips.
Skin that had lost its luster after her visit to the visiting room earlier.
Nothing but a faded face.
“Joker.”
“Why again?”
“Am I pretty?”
“…”
The Saintess asked expectantly, biting her lower lip.
How childish, to ask such a question at twenty-eight.
Adorably so.
“No, you’re not.”
“So that’s how it is.”
“Of course. Why ask such obvious questions?”
Despite giving an answer contrary to her expectations, the Saintess didn’t seem upset. On the contrary, she smiled faintly.
“Do you feel good hearing you’re ugly?”
“Joker, you’re really good at lying.”
“What?”
“If I hadn’t spent the past week with you, I might have fallen for your acting just now.”
“Are you saying I lied just now?”
No matter how harshly I questioned, the Saintess’s calm and peaceful expression didn’t change. It was a smile as solid as a well-built fortress.
“Joker, did you know?”
“What now?”
“I’m the first person you’ve called unattractive.”
“Hmm?”
“Elves, dwarves, dragons—anyone who’s seen me has always praised my appearance. Even the Goddess of Beauty once said I had an unmatched beauty.”
“They must all be blind.”
“Aha-ha.”
A clear laugh bloomed between us.
How does she manage such a refreshing laugh with such a raspy voice? Quite mysterious.
“Joker.”
“What is it now?”
“May I indulge in a little impropriety?”
With that, the Saintess slowly leaned her upper body toward my face.
Naturally, her face drew closer to mine.
I knew what it meant.
“Go ahead.”
As she leaned toward me, the Saintess awkwardly puckered her lips.
That clumsiness, that naivety…
To my eyes, which had played with countless succubi, it appeared strangely alluring.
Truly amazing.
There’s no seductive aura, no red lipstick on her lips.
Plain and faded lips.
A woman standing opposite me, a demon.
A form that evokes no instinctual desire.
Swishhh-.
Gulp-.
I can’t understand why such an ugly desire wells up deep inside me, wanting to ravage those lips right away.
While thinking this, the Saintess got closer and closer. The distance between us shrank to about a centimeter. Her faint breath landed on my lips.
Poof-.
At that moment, the Saintess collapsed weakly. Right before my eyes, missing her target, her lips ended up kissing my neck instead.
“Ruining the mood, what are you doing?”
“Haha…”
“Did you set this atmosphere just for this?”
“I apologize. My body… won’t obey my will…”
The Saintess’s breathing became slightly labored. I worried she might die before reaching the guillotine.
With her forehead pressed against my jawline, the Saintess closed her eyes. Heavy darkness enveloped us.
Through that dim darkness, I could see the outline of her back. The silhouette of her sobbing quietly.
“I wanted to break the virtue of chastity, at least committing a minor transgression like a kiss…”
“Such a simple rebellion.”
“It seems even that isn’t allowed for God’s apostle…”
“Pathetic.”
Every living being has desires hidden deep in their hearts—base desires.
I’ve never met anyone without them. Not even the angels, God’s creations, are free from embarrassing desires buried deep within.
“Saintess seems like someone without dirty desires.”
“I am human too… How could I lack desires…”
“Lust, pleasure, debauchery, sloth, greed… Everyone wants these, but I don’t know what desires Saintess harbors. Want to name a few? Which desire does Saintess feel closest to?”
“If I must choose, pleasure…”
“Pleasure?”
Could it be that the Saintess I know?
“Just now, wasn’t I shamelessly trying to kiss you? That was the most disgraceful desire of my life…”
“…”
Damn, what nonsense am I spouting again? Figures.
“Saintess, listen. That’s not disgusting—it’s cute. You naive girl.”
“Is that so…? Haha…”
“Your voice is getting weaker. Are you sleepy already? Tomorrow’s the execution, you know.”
“This shameful desire for sleep… I’m such a lazy person…”
With those words, the Saintess lost consciousness. I didn’t bother waking her; her condition wasn’t good.
The Saintess mumbles something incoherent in her sleep.
“Mother…”
In her half-conscious muttering, there’s a sincere emotion that doesn’t fit.
“I miss you…”
The flesh of the Saintess lying on top of me trembled faintly.
She was so small and fragile. When I bent my knees slightly and curled up, her whole body fit perfectly on top of me.
The noble and exalted Sun Saintess, the leader of tens of thousands of holy soldiers, the sole hope of the continent…
Such a strong woman, yet in reality, she’s just a young girl craving innocent love—a spinster, nothing more.
Fate is truly cruel. And at the end of this cruel fate, Saintess Maria walks in her dreams beside me.
Waiting endlessly for tomorrow’s execution.
“…”
“Thirsty…”
How beautiful is the sight of someone calmly accepting their inevitable death, knowing exactly when they will perish.
A childlike attachment.
A handful of lonely solitude.
An embrace of profound sorrow.
All these emotions intertwine, creating a complex feeling within me. Even though the subject, the Saintess, peacefully wanders in her dreams.
*****
Fear grips me.
The impending future, less than twenty-four hours away, fills me with terror.
This endless time feels like an unstoppable, oppressive, and immense current, instilling fear.
Lord,
I have yet to fully share the grace you’ve bestowed upon me.
Having received excessive love, I wished to give back at least half of it.
Yet, why, oh why, Lord,
do you seek to take back your unworthy apostle who hasn’t even completed her noble mission?
Lord,
For what purpose have I lived?
For what cause have I fought against the vast Demon King’s Army that engulfs heaven and earth?
And for what reason am I destined to vanish like morning dew on the guillotine?
Fear overwhelms me.
What world awaits after the process of death?
Will I be granted eternal extinction and rest, or ascend to heaven with angels blowing trumpets and the Holy Spirit bestowing blessings?
Will I reunite with my mother and father in joy, or stand before a fiery judgment seat awaiting punishment?
You remain silent, offering no hint, Lord. You are indeed a harsh master.
…
Lord,
Please bestow upon this lowly servant the holiest of words from that world.
What does my death bring forth?
Why is my death rejected, even in rejection?
Am I merely Maria?
Or am I your faithful and devoted apostle, the Saintess?
Answer me.
What are you, Lord, that you’ve brought this pitiful world to such a state?
What qualifications do you possess to grant this ending to a fearful soul like mine?
…
Truly, are you the merciful being you claim to be?
If so, why do you withhold your overflowing mercy from me alone?
I am a foolish lamb, unable to see ahead, needing your help, Lord.
Will you deny even a drop of mercy to such a one?
Truly, are you the all-knowing being you claim to be?
If so, why do you idly watch as the wicked Demon King grows so powerful?
If you truly see all, why have you abandoned this world like a neglected child?
What grand future do you envision in your magnificent mind?
What great future do you aim to build?
I, this feeble mortal, cannot fathom the depths of your majestic thoughts.
I am filled with fear.
…
Even after this earnest plea, you offer no revelation.
Following your teachings, I have avoided the seven sins and pursued the seven virtues.
By tomorrow night, my long and insignificant life will reach its futile end.
Beside me now is only the man who once plunged me and the continent into despair.
Reputed to be a Great Demon who engulfed half the world in the fires of sin, he is, contrary to rumors, surprisingly innocent-hearted.
The world knows nothing of his compassionate nature, as he kindly cares for me despite enduring excruciating pain throughout Tartarus.
I betrayed my comrades. I couldn’t save my dying allies. Such weakness disgusts me, causing violent shudders of self-loathing.
However, the man beside me remains calm in the face of impending doom. I strive hard not to show any signs of distress, so as not to burden him.
Lord, perhaps you sought to teach me something.
That even in the worst circumstances, even as the body faces destruction, love can still bloom. Perhaps you aimed to reveal to my dull mind this great truth that remains unchanged through eternity.
Proof of this lies in the fact that I felt love—an emotion I’d never experienced in my entire life—from a demon who has only known it for seven nights.
Now, I rest my head against his chest, seeking sleep. Just to shake off empty thoughts, to dream happily on the last night of my life. That’s all.
Helping others brought me joy. But I failed even in this small act of kindness.
Too many lingering attachments arise, imagining lonely souls left behind in this pitiful world, causing my heart to ache continuously.
I want to believe you have a purpose. To console and comfort myself, to cast off worries and wavering doubts as I walk towards tomorrow.
But the overly powerful Demon King and his army… They blur this belief of mine like water disturbing clarity.
Exactly what does my death signify?
Who are you, Lord, to have the right to—
…
…
I shall die.
Embracing this present fear with stout breasts.
Transforming impious doubts into devout faith.
Taking this pitiful demon beside me as a steadfast companion.
Willingly, I shall die.
As you have decreed, I shall die.
Placing my insignificant head beneath the sharp blade.
Blooming like a crimson flower of blood.
Beneath the sky that gradually turns to twilight.
Fluttering like a downpour of torrential rain.
According to your great and omnipotent will.
Lord—
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