Chapter 13

It was excruciating pain, yet familiar pain. At the same time, this pain was proof that I was still alive. It was tiresome, but also a welcome witness to my life.

Perhaps the embrace with that welcome witness was too intense. My tightly shut eyelids opened.

“…Where am I?”

I muttered to myself, looking at an unfamiliar ceiling.

“By God’s side.”

“So, I’m dead, huh.”

It seems this tiresome pain followed me all the way to the end of hell. Even though we hadn’t been together for that long.

“…It’s not the afterlife. It’s a church.”

Hearing the word “church,” I stood up and looked around. Indeed, it wasn’t the fires of hell but the interior of a church.

“Truly a tenacious life. I thought it wouldn’t be bad to just close my eyes.”

“Your fragile life was forcibly tied back together.”

The man claiming to have tied my nearly severed life together had a rather peculiar appearance.

Judging by his attire, he was clearly a priest, but his build was undoubtedly that of a knight.

“I am Father Camille, the head priest of this cathedral, my lord.”

His hands, too, were not those of a man who prays to God but of a warrior who offers enemies to God.

“I am…”

“There’s no need to mention a false name. Count Berze.”

At that moment, I instinctively grabbed the cane lying beside me.

I had even silenced the maid and coachman, and since arriving here, I had never told anyone my real name.

“You speak of a name that is no longer mine. And who are you to know that fact?”

If this man was a servant of demons or dragons, I would have no choice but to kill him, no matter the infamy.

Killing a local, especially a priest, would surely earn me hatred, but that wasn’t important. My reputation could go to hell.

“Depending on your answer, I may kill you here. If you don’t answer, I’ll kill you. If you lie, I’ll kill you too.”

“How could I lie to you?”

“That’s not the answer I’m seeking.”

“…You’re impatient. You’re more indifferent to your own affairs than anyone else.”

He sighed deeply and answered in a calmer voice.

“I was once a holy knight of the Holy Kingdom. Although I retired after being shot in the abdomen, I’ve seen you fight.”

If he was indeed a former holy knight, his build and menacing hands made sense. Whether it was true remained to be seen.

He had a peaceful expression, as if enjoying teatime. Even knowing I was Count Berze, he didn’t look at me with hatred.

“When I first saw your face, I was also half in doubt.”

“My appearance hasn’t changed much.”

“You wouldn’t have been exiled to such a remote area. The hero who slaughtered the dragons that plagued the Union.”

“Spare me the flattery.”

Among my achievements were slaughters out of necessity, slaughters driven by rage, and slaughters that were clear mistakes.

And I had never been proud of such things.

“…But after seeing your condition today, I could guess the reason.”

Father Camille had a look of certainty, as if he had realized everything.

“The Dragon King’s Poison.”

“Correct.”

“How could you survive such a thing? No matter how much painkiller you take, the pain shouldn’t subside.”

It seemed his claim of being a former holy knight wasn’t false. Not many would know about the Dragon King. He must have held a high position among the holy knights.

Indeed. As he said, painkillers only alleviate the pain to some extent; they can’t eliminate it entirely.

“May I ask the intensity of the pain…?”

“Subjective feelings won’t help, so I’ll share the expert’s opinion.”

The royal physician who examined my body and the nature of the poison gave this assessment.

“He said that even with painkillers, you would frequently feel pain equivalent to having a tooth pulled without anesthesia.”

I didn’t know pain could be quantified, but that was his opinion.

“I often feel something similar.”

“How can you maintain your sanity?”

“…It just happens. Having experienced pain like having your heart ripped out, the pain of a tooth being pulled seems trivial.”

Like most pain in this world, it’s bearable because it has to be. It’s not that I’m extraordinary.

In the first place, there’s no such thing as a unit of pain. Everyone feels their own pain more intensely. Does an absolute unit of pain even exist?

“By the way, how did I end up here?”

“Cecilia carried you here, my lord. She said the seizures wouldn’t stop even after giving you medicine.”

“I owe many people today. I should thank them later.”

I thought I could help, but instead, I was helped.

“And I should thank you too. I owe you my life.”

“As a priest, it was my duty.”

Stepping outside, the sun was already setting.

Even though I wasted the little time I had left, I didn’t feel the slightest regret.

Why don’t I feel emptiness? I should regret it. All that happened today was sharing bread with an old man, showing off some skills in front of Cecilia and the children, and exchanging a few words with this priest.

Yet, why does it feel more fulfilling than my days at the mansion? What is this emotion I’m feeling, and what is its basis?

“…I don’t know.”

I probably won’t understand the cause of this fulfillment until I die.

With such futile thoughts, I hurried back to the lord’s mansion, hoping pork or onions wouldn’t be served for dinner.

—

After a light meal, I used the magical tool to share today’s events with my friends.

“Oh ho, so our dense blockhead felt such emotions.”

“By the way, Raul. Didn’t I always remind you to take your medicine? It’s made with expensive ingredients, and you keep forgetting…”

Indeed. These two weren’t much help in analyzing the cause of my fulfillment.

His Majesty found my feelings amusing and chuckled, while Her Majesty scolded me for not taking my medicine.

I even thought about cutting off the magical tool’s circuit and going to bed.

“…..”

“Raul, your soul seems to have left again due to Her Majesty’s scolding.”

“Raul, take your hand off the magical tool’s circuit.”

It shouldn’t be visible that I was touching the magical tool’s circuit.

“Raul, even if I can’t see it, I know. Take your hand off.”

Her Majesty was indeed fearsome. Perhaps that’s why she suits the carefree Emperor as his companion.

“By the way, it’s rare for you to stay silent, my lady.”

Indeed, I didn’t expect Camilla to maintain such silence. She was as talkative as His Majesty.

“…Raul. Can I ask you something?”

“Anything I can answer.”

“That woman Cecilia… is she pretty?”

At that, not only I but also His Majesty and Her Majesty were surprised.

Who would have expected her to ask such a thing?

“Interesting. You’re being unusually honest today, my lady.”

“Camilla, you’re using this method…”

Appearance is subjective, so I couldn’t give a definitive answer.

But at the same time, I wanted to understand the intent behind her question.

“Camilla.”

So, before commenting on Cecilia’s appearance, I decided to ask first.

“Is the reason you haven’t found a partner yet because you prefer women?”

My guess must have been correct, as even the talkative His Majesty was left speechless.

“Even if that’s your preference, I can respect it.”

“Wait, hold on.”

“Let me analyze it objectively. Snow-white hair, clear eyes, a socially conventional beauty, a body resembling a sculpture model.”

There were other objective factors that made her a beauty, but I omitted them to keep it short.

“Considering all these factors, yes. She can be considered a beauty.”

“Wow, this… I don’t know about this.”

After listening to my analysis, His Majesty tried to avoid getting involved.

And Camilla, with a smile, adjusted her grip on the magical tool.

“Hahaha… hahaha… Alright, I’ll visit sometime. Let’s see then.”

“There’s no rule that she prefers women, but I can ask if you want.”

“Hoo… No need. Just wash your neck and wait.”

“I always keep my body clean. No need to wash my neck separately.”

Camilla was laughing, but her face was flushed with anger.

“Right. It’s a neck that’s going to be cut anyway. What does washing matter? I’ll end it. This circuit and your life.”

She immediately cut off the magical tool’s power, leaving only Her Majesty, who was holding her forehead as if in pain.

“Could you tell me why she got so angry?”

“That you don’t know is the biggest problem, Raul.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“There’s no answer for you.”

Her Majesty sighed deeply, took a deep breath, and spoke again.

“I plan to visit your house tomorrow.”

“Very well.”

“I have something to tell your younger sister. And there are things I want to teach her.”

“…Although she’s lacking, please take good care of her.”

Even though Her Majesty is fearsome when angry, enough to make His Majesty and Camilla tremble, she is fundamentally very kind.

There’s rarely a need to worry about crossing Her Majesty’s line.

In fact, having someone like Her Majesty look after my younger sister is reassuring.

“…Yes. I’ll take responsibility and teach her. So don’t worry, Raul.”