Originally, Woo-yong Jin had been counting down the days until Byul Rak would enter Bigoe.
This was due to a revelation from the ‘girl’ in Byul Rak’s unconsciousness that his younger sibling might be in Bigoe.
Thus, up until the moment Byul Rak entered Bigoe with Tang Sobaek, Jin had been scanning his surroundings with fire in his eyes.
– That guy… the one who has spent almost all of my life with me… who exactly is he…?
Bin Namgung’s soul conversed with Byul Rak.
As they shared ‘twists’ unknown to each other before their talk, the imaginary world Byul Rak inhabited, where Jin was currently located, began to shake violently.
“This… if something goes wrong here, I might be in danger…”
Woo-yong Jin looked at the sky in the imagination with a concerning gaze. The blood-red sky seemed ominous.
“To find out that the younger brother I trusted and relied on my whole life was a fake… I understand why it’s hard to accept.”
Ku-gong!
The world seemed ready to collapse, trembling.
“This bastard…! No matter what, if you become unstable just because of something like this, what will you do!”
Jin shouted in anger.
“Snap out of it! You damn son-in-law! What’s so important about that brother business!”
Yet despite this, Byul Rak, already in a state of panic, was too far gone to hear any of it.
– Until now, what exactly have I been protecting? Have I been protecting the vengeance for my brother so strongly?
Byul Rak’s self-deprecating voice echoed thunderously.
“Indeed… a man whose life was already filled with betrayal… I understand, but…”
Woo-yong Jin could only feel sorry for Byul Rak who understood the reasons behind his self-loathing.
The sky cracked and cried out precariously.
Watching this worriedly, Jin began shouting at the top of his lungs.
“I said snap out of it! Aren’t you the one who should be stronger than anyone else!”
It was an attempt to pull Byul Rak’s spirit out from its deep despair.
– That guy with whom I’ve spent ten thousand years… who exactly is he if he’s not my brother…
While hearing Byul Rak’s confused voice, Jin suppressed his complicated emotions.
For a moment, he thought of his own sibling in Bigoe, but:
“You! Someone who’s conquered such harsh trials should become more resilient, not fall apart! What are you doing?”
Anxious about Byul Rak’s crumbling state, all other thoughts were wiped away.
“Get a hold of yourself! Don’t fall, damn it!”
By now, Jin treasured Byul Rak as much as, or perhaps even more than himself.
In his eyes, not just as a respectful elder in martial arts, but as a senior who viewed his worthy junior with pride…
My legs feel weak.
Thud.
One knee buckles.
“Brother…?”
“What’s the matter, Master?”
“Byul Rak…?”
Bin Namgung, Hong Ryun, and Jade Flower looked at me with worried confusion.
I held my hand up to show that I was fine.
It’s just a little dizziness.
My stomach feels unsettled, and there’s a touch of nausea.
There was something roaring in my head just a moment ago, but now it’s gone.
“Adversary… was it?”
I said it weakly, and Namgung carefully nodded.
An adversary.
Not just any kind of adversary, but an unforgivable foe who unjustly condemned my now proven-innocent sibling to an early death, seized his body, and has been strutting around as if it were his own these many years.
A man who disgraced our ancestors and our family name.
And that person, I…
Without knowing my sibling had been violated, treated them like a fool and protected the wrong person.
Even during my busiest times.
Even though my sibling and I had a distant relationship because of the influence of our parents.
I should have known better.
It’s a lesson in shame, not just pride in others knowing me but in knowing others. Confucius said, “Do not be concerned that others do not know you; be concerned that you do not know others.”
And here I was, wanting others to know me, yet knowing no one truly.
Now, it’s gone, but I am no different from the wife I once resented.
Unworthy of knowing others.
“Um, uh…? Your complexion is really bad…?”
Hong Ryun looks at me with wide eyes as I kneel on the ground.
At my ugliness.
“Don’t… don’t look.”
“What?”
The self-reproach that had subsided starts to rise again.
My long-forgotten revulsion for my blood, my very essence, crashes against the mistakes I’ve made.
“I am… a rotten old tree… such a thing…”
It makes me feel deeply ashamed, unable to raise my face.
…! …! Since a while ago, some strange sound has been circling in my ears, but I cannot hear it clearly.
My hearing feels numb.
“Master?”
Hong Ryun moves her lips.
I am afraid.
Even if she doesn’t understand all of it, I fear she must have guessed that I am an ugly person.
I dread how Hong Ryun, who sees me as both benefactor and idol, would react to this side of me.
Instinctively, without thought, I raise my hands. It’s not a deliberate action; I can’t bear to see her image of me shattered.
I cover my face with both palms.
“What? Are you caught in some strange evil thought?”
“…”
“Come on, Master? Surely not… your sturdiness… an evil influence?”
Hong Ryun, who had been kneeling, reaches out to me.
She swats away my arms, which feel like obstructions.
A man stained with familiar self-loathing is reflected in her pink irises.
“…Don’t look.”
“…”
Hong Ryun is silent.
A wave of shock passes over her facial muscles.
Her lips twitch, as if she can’t believe it.
“…Why?”
Hong Ryun questions me.
“Why have you fallen into such pointless self-loathing?”
Irritation and anger seep through her voice.
As if she’s challenging me.
“You are an extraordinary person, aren’t you? So why is there not even a smidge of pride in you?”
She clearly doesn’t understand me.
“We have only known each other for a little over half an hour, and even in that short time, I could feel it – why is your confidence so nonexistent?”
“…”
“It seems like you’re trying to force yourself to conform. To me, you are the greatest sage in martial arts, so why are you so burdened by guilt? Are you trying to become a perfect being?”
She doesn’t realize, which is why she acts this way.
No matter what, as someone who should not do evil, even if heaven splits, I…
Don’t realize that my words and actions contradict each other. That is why she acts this way.
“This…! So, drop that look already! Why do you keep frowning?”
Finally, Hong Ryun vents her suppressed frustration.
She grips my wrist firmly.
“Come on…! You who should be the most proud hero under the heavens, why are you cowering here…?”
Hong Ryun leans her torso toward me more and more threateningly.
I instinctively lean my upper body backward, finding it uncomfortable.
“…Damn. Just in case, I’ll say this.”
Thud.
And before I know it, a hard feeling presses into my back.
Mounting me, Hong Ryun whispers with an anguished face.
“Absolutely, don’t think any foolish thoughts.”
“…”
“You are my target. I will not give you up to anyone in this world. I will be the one to kill you.”
“…”
“Until that day, you must never die. You must live, no matter what. Whenever foolish thoughts arise, think of me.”
Though it sounds like a command, looking at her expression, it feels like a plea.
Her eyes well up.
“Because I will be the one to kill you… please, do not die until that day comes.”
Why?
Such a chillingly ominous statement,
Yet hearing it, I inexplicably feel at peace.
Because it feels as though there is someone who truly sees the good in me.
The kind of care I’ve never received from my mother or father.
“Phew… phew… damn, what a ridiculous sight.”
Because for a moment, I feel like I’ve experienced it.
The restless heart steadies like a rippling lake finally calming down.
Also…
– Son-in-law…
“Byul Rak…”
Up until now unheard voices of Jin Woo-yong and Jade Flower calling me finally reach my eardrums.
Though the expressions may differ slightly,
Each one filled with pure concern for me.
“Ghhhhhh!”
Soeun Yu clutches her head and groans.
Her face, like Byul Rak’s a little while ago, is stained with self-loathing.
The simple task… just to capture someone…
“I, someone like me, a lowly woman like me… I deserve this punishment… How can I…”
-Tch, she’s been consumed by her emotions.
Cheonggwangbo-geom sighed regretfully.
Ever since Soeun entered the dungeon for the first time, she seemed affected by the sincerity Soeun had shown every day.
“You… moron. Why is this? You were just fine holding the sword, why has my lunatic returned?”
“Ma-moron? No, I’m a lunatic who abandoned her master’s teachings…”
“Phewh, seems like you’re spiraling out of control. Since you’re on your death clock, are you letting your mind go?”
Blood Demon mocked her in disdain.
Soeun Yu, who performed emotional transference on Byul Rak with the help of Cheonggwangbo-geom, might not fully understand its meaning, yet said,
“Still… at least I could help Master, so it’s fortunate… ugh!”
In a hurry, Soeun covered her mouth.
Still, she couldn’t stop the rising sensation in her stomach.
“Hack! Hack!”
Kneeling on the stone floor, Soeun coughed up red saliva.
The substance that erupted this time was starkly different from the last.
“Hack! Huh…!”
After spitting blood, burning pain surged through her.
When she opened her eyes with difficulty, the floor stained crimson came into view.
Within that red surface, the image of a woman appeared.
“Hey, are you alright?”
“Huff… Huff…”
She was a severely emaciated woman.
No color in her lips, her emaciated skin evoking pity at a glance.
It took around half a moment before she recognized herself.
Because her mind had been blank for half a moment.
‘No matter what I do for you…’
Her clouded mind was due to guilt.
‘…I can’t feel at peace…’
The guilt stemmed from sorrow over irreversible past actions.
‘No matter how much I push myself… you must have done much more, ten-thousand times more…’
