Chapter 124

“So, you’re saying I’m the son of that goddess or whatever? Fuck me…”

Not a golden spoon, but a divine spoon… Well, if that’s the case, I guess it makes sense why I’m compatible with all attributes. But come on, I’m not Jesus or the son of God… Wait, am I like his older brother or something?

Then, Armadura started zoning out, focusing on something else entirely. At first, I thought this bastard was ignoring me, so I was about to slap him. Ignoring someone while they’re talking is just rude. But then Armadura started sweating bullets and trembling.

“Uh… Mother has sent a message.”

“What, that lady’s watching us right now?”

“The Primordial Mother is always observing the entire world.”

“So, what did she say?”

“She said, ‘Stop thinking nonsense. You’re wrong about everything.'”

Seems like Mother is trying to avoid unnecessary conflicts with the religious folks. But why have I never seen her face even once? Maybe she’s the type to have kids for fun and then just abandon them, like reptiles. Is my mom a fucking lizard? Was childbirth just a game to her? Was her playdate also her birthday?

“Uh… The Primordial Mother says… ‘If you don’t want your head spun 1980 degrees, stop thinking stupid things… And by the way, it wasn’t childbirth, I made you myself…'”

“Hey, tell my mom. Let’s meet right now.”

I wanted to settle this face-to-face. If things went south, I was ready to pull an Arthas. If my parents were walking the wrong path, it’s my duty as their child to stop them. I even wanted to introduce her to the concept of “Goryeojang.”

“The Primordial Mother says she’s… busy.”

Damn, did she already figure out what Goryeojang is?

“Why? Is she busy giving birth to someone else?”

“…The Primordial Mother says, ‘If I get addicted to childbirth one more time, I’ll rearrange your teeth. I’m busy managing my apostles right now.'”

“Apostles?”

I’ve heard of them. The goddess of this world shares her power and authority with her apostles, who handle minor tasks on her behalf. But managing? What’s so busy about that?

“What do you mean by managing?”

“…The Primordial Mother says… in terms you’d understand, it’s like carpet bombing followed by a beatdown.”

“Guess that industry isn’t easy either.”

“Even we Spirit Kings get called in to get beaten often. That’s why a certain area of Mother’s lily garden is called the Red Lily Field.”

“Why do you get beaten?”

“Well… if we’re lazy, cause trouble for humans, or get caught badmouthing the Primordial Mother… it’s straight to the beatdown.”

An unreasonable god who maintains the bad habits of the old Japanese military. Punishing such a god must be the heroic path I, Werner, must walk. Even if it means teaching Mother the greatness of Jeet Kune Do, I will walk this path.

“The Primordial Mother says…”

“What now?”

“If you keep thinking nonsense, she’ll skewer you on a stake and deep-fry you in boiling oil.”

“Hey, just between us, if I fought my mom, who’d win?”

Armadura stayed silent. That silence alone told me everything.

“My mom’s fucking strong, huh?”

“…Honestly, we Spirit Kings are like her fingernails.”

Yeah, hitting my mom is something only trash would do. As a successor of Confucianism, I can’t do such trashy things. It’s definitely not because I’m scared of her power. I’m just a filial son who loves his mom more than anyone else.

“The Primordial Mother says… you can meet her next week.”

“So, the apostles are getting beaten for a week?”

“…Some have been beaten for a whole year.”

“Now I kinda see where my temper comes from.”

I thought I should bring a gift when I meet her.

—

“Master, you look troubled… Is it because of Count Holstead?”

“No, it’s not that. A man fought a powerful enemy, even giving up his life for his beliefs. Calling that pitiful or sad is an insult.”

I truly respected his final moments. Facing an enemy hundreds, no, thousands of times stronger, he led them to mutual destruction. The courage to give up one’s life for others… That’s something I could never have.

“But why do you look like you lost money gambling?”

You’re surprisingly sharp about these things. That’s why I hate perceptive kids.

“Your face says, ‘That’s why I hate perceptive kids.’… Am I wrong?”

Damn, are you a ghost?

“You can at least tell your disciple what’s troubling you.”

“Sigh… Fine.”

First, I should hide the fact that my mom’s a god. People might think I’m crazy if I say it.

“By the way, where’s the crow that’s always on your shoulder?”

“Ah, it’s tired today, so it’s sleeping in its cage.”

“I see…”

I cleared my throat and decided to spill my worries.

“Disciple… If someone you thought was dead… or never existed turned out to be alive… what would you say to them?”

“Hmm… I guess it depends on how they’re living?”

“Well, they seem to be doing well. Lots of land, capable subordinates… and they spend their time making stuff as a hobby.”

I couldn’t bring myself to say they rule multiple planets, have Spirit Kings and apostles as subordinates, and spend their free time beating them up.

“Hmm… So, they’ve been living well without you, Master?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Then just tell them to keep living well.”

“You’ve both been living fine without each other. Interfering in each other’s lives might just cause trouble. It could create unnecessary friction.”

That’s true. I used to miss having a mom, but now I don’t feel much. In fact, I’m a bit sad that my immunity to mom jokes is gone. Should I just meet her and curse her out? I don’t want to ask trivial things like why she abandoned me. She must have had her reasons.

“Everything you’ve been talking about… it’s about your parents, right?”

“…How did you figure that out?”

“Given the kind of relationship you’d worry about, and the conditions you described, there’s only one person it could be.”

“Yeah, it’s about my mom.”

I felt a bit embarrassed. I thought I could hide it well, but I guess I’m the type who gives things away easily when talking about this stuff.

“Well, I’m meeting my mom next week… I’ll just tell her I don’t want anything to do with her.”

“And if she’s a weirdo, there’s a chance she might approach you again because of your position.”

“That’s definitely not it.”

She’s not the type to be swayed by something as trivial as my position as a royal mage.

“By the way, where’s Glacia?”

“You don’t look for me often, but you’re always looking for her.”

I was impressed by the rhyme in “look for” and “often.”

“Well, she went shopping for clothes.”

“Clothes? Why?”

“Master, did you forget?”

I had no idea what I was supposed to have forgotten.

“You promised to go on a date with me, and then with Glacia, remember? With all the recent events, it’s understandable you forgot… But now that you’re back, it’s her turn…”

Oh, right. I completely forgot with all the chaos lately.

“Ah, when was that again…?”

“The date you promised is tomorrow.”

Sigh… This is why being handsome is troublesome. How can one man have so many sins?

Just then, a maid from the mansion approached me.

“Sir… a letter has arrived.”

“A letter? Who’s it from?”

“There’s nothing written on it. It would be rude for me to open your letter, so…”

“Alright, got it. You can go.”

If it’s an important letter, I might have to kill her, so that’s a pretty reasonable judgment.

I opened the envelope and started reading the contents.

“…Fuck.”

“What’s wrong? Who’s it from?”

“My brothers and sisters… or more accurately, my comrades.”

“But why are you cursing…?”

“Two of them are coming tomorrow.”

And it’s the two most troublesome ones.