Chapter 12

Following the old man’s words, I walked and soon the Adventurer Guild building appeared. Come to think of it, it had been quite a while since I last interacted with the Adventurer Guild. We had fought back-to-back on the battlefield, clashed with those whose interests diverged, and personally buried the fallen.

Though I didn’t miss it much, there was still a certain warmth in my heart.

“Don’t just swing it like that, put some power into your waist!”

“…”

Following a familiar voice, I arrived at the training ground behind the building. Cecilia was there, teaching the village children how to wield swords and spears.

“If you swing it like that, you’ll hurt your wrist. Don’t hold it like that, grip it tighter.”

“…Is this village in such a desperate situation that it needs to train child soldiers?”

If so, that would be quite sad. It would mean one of the reasons we fought had faded.

I didn’t want those children to go through what we had.

“W-what brings you here?”

“I came at the request of an old man to observe your work. I’ve answered your question, so I’d like an answer to mine.”

“…It’s not about child soldiers. I’m just teaching them how to protect themselves in this harsh world.”

“That’s quite admirable.”

This woman was doing what we couldn’t.

“So you chose swords and spears…”

Of course, I didn’t have the same talent with swords and spears as His Majesty or Camilla. I had tried them, but my skill was mediocre at best, so I put them down.

“Not a bad choice. Bows and blunt weapons can be surprisingly difficult to handle.”

“You speak as if you’ve been on the battlefield.”

“I have experience. I’ve fought on the front lines more than once.”

“Then what weapon did you use on the battlefield? A sword? A spear? A blunt weapon?”

“Neither. I just achieved similar effects without using them.”

Cecilia seemed confused by my words. As I said, I didn’t use swords, spears, or blunt weapons on the battlefield.

I’m terrible at explaining, so further elaboration would be pointless.

“…Fine.”

I walked over to a rock in the center of the training ground.

“May I use this?”

“That’s for strength training, but…”

“If it’s valuable, I’ll pay for it later.”

I extended my index finger and pierced through the center of the rock.

“If I needed a spear, I did this.”

Next, I formed a hand blade and split the rock in half.

“If I needed a sword, I did this.”

Finally, I struck the rock with my palm, shattering it.

“If I needed a blunt weapon, I did this.”

Cecilia and the village children stared at me with wide eyes.

“It’s just a trivial trick.”

A sword that deflects slashes from all directions while commanding thousands, a spear that pierces countless enemies with lightning, and a mind that leads to victory in countless battles.

Compared to the shining power of my friends, my skills were pitifully small and unimpressive.

“Wow, how did you do that?”

“Show us again!”

“Can we learn that?”

The children surrounded me, begging to learn my trick.

They’d be better off learning Cecilia’s techniques than my clumsy skills.

“……”

Unused to dealing with children, I remained silent. What should I say in such a situation?

I hadn’t spent much time playing with my younger sister, and I’d spent years on the battlefield. My life was far removed from these young children, so words didn’t come easily.

“Everyone, this is the new lord. Don’t be rude and go home for today.”

“Old hag. Always hogging the fun.”

“What?”

As Cecilia drew a wooden sword, the children quickly scattered.

“You seem used to handling children.”

“They’re the village children. The whole village should raise them together.”

Her way of life was so upright it was hard to face. Unlike me, who couldn’t protect the happiness of those around me.

“By the way, may I ask something?”

“Anything I can answer.”

“Is that technique you just showed some kind of exclusive self-defense skill for nobles…?”

“I didn’t expect you to ask about such a trivial trick.”

Even if you ask, I can’t explain it. Unlike others, this is just a messy technique I use based on instinct.

“…It’s hard to explain, but it’s a technique that uses resonance.”

“Resonance…?”

“I once saw someone shatter a wine glass with their voice and imitated it. I just create a similar resonance in my body and strike.”

As someone who’s bad with words, I couldn’t explain further.

“…I didn’t realize.”

“What do you mean?”

“I thought you were just a sheltered noble who’d never shed a drop of blood.”

If only I had grown up like that. It might have been lonely, but it wouldn’t have led to this.

“But you’re not that kind of person. You have a painful past and have shed blood on the battlefield.”

“You’re quick to jump to conclusions. I could be hiding my true self.”

“Jumping to conclusions before meeting you was my mistake. Even if that’s the case, it’s my responsibility. I can’t excuse my prejudice.”

But I wondered for a moment. How did she know about my painful past?

I had only shared that with my friends. I had never shared the records of my heart with anyone else.

“Especially that technique…! With that, we could teach those bastards from the neighboring village a lesson…! Oh, sorry. I got carried away…”

“You seem to be misunderstanding. This isn’t a technique people can learn.”

“Huh?”

“I can create a resonance that destroys everything, but the cost is that my heart no longer resonates.”

My heart beats, but it no longer trembles with any thrill. It’s just a lump of meat, beating away.

“My hands can pierce anything, but they can’t reach the family I wanted to see.”

Hands stained with too much blood can’t hold or touch them.

“My hands could cut anything, so I cut down even the person most precious to me and shattered their heart.”

The blood from that day still feels like it’s on my hands.

“Anyone can pierce with a spear, cut with a sword, or crush with a blunt weapon. But what’s before you is the worst fool in the world.”

“…My lord.”

“I should have died that day…”

“My lord.”

Cecilia grabbed my chin and made me look at her.

“I don’t know the details of the life you’ve lived. But please know this.”

Her eyes were serious as she stared at me. My hollow face reflected in her fiery eyes.

“Not many people can love someone who doesn’t even love themselves.”

“I’m someone who deserves hatred, not love.”

“It seems like you’re avoiding the issue, in my eyes.”

“What do you know…”

I almost raised my voice. It stopped short because blood gushed from an unknown organ, blocking my throat.

“My lord…!”

Come to think of it, I forgot to take my medicine this morning. It’s supposed to be taken after meals, so I must have overlooked it.

I remember to take painkillers, but foolishly forgot the important medicine.

“Medicine… medicine…”

“Medicine…? Do you have some illness…?”

“The glass bottles on my desk in the study… two kinds of medicine… please…”

Cecilia immediately ran toward my study.

I hope she brings the medicine back in time.

No.

It wouldn’t be so bad to close my eyes like this.

I could be satisfied, having been blessed with wonderful friends, and choose to close my eyes peacefully.

A peaceful death surrounded by loved ones doesn’t suit me.

Dying on this cold stone floor, coughing up blood, would be a fitting end for me.

“Cut the crap, you bastard.”

Suddenly, a crow flew in from somewhere and dropped the medicine it was holding into my mouth.

Then, the crow pecked my cheek with its sharp claws, scolding me.

“Think you’ll get food in the afterlife if you die whining? If you die like this, only the idiots who like you will be sad. The bastards who hate you will just dance with joy.”

“I just can’t find a reason to live…”

“Then make one. You’ve been in the army. If it doesn’t work, make it work. If you can’t find it, create it, you idiot.”

As the pain subsided, my eyelids grew heavy.

Even as my eyes closed, the discomfort that had just arisen remained vividly in my heart.

Even if I died now, I would still feel this discomfort.