Chapter 119

“……”

Hmm, what should I do about this situation?

The Sister Warden had a difficult-to-explain expression, while Ria looked completely unfazed.

“U-Um, well…”

I spoke to Maria, who was looking my way, maintaining a soft smile. “You see, I tend to make a lot of mistakes. Ria helps me out on the side. So wouldn’t it be better if she stays with me?”

Of course, when I first saw Ria, it meant “Wait for a moment.”

No matter how close friends we might be, this is a matter within the Church. Although Ria holds the position of a nun now, I could quickly think of several reasons why the church doesn’t fully trust her. After all, she didn’t come here to live as a true nun for life.

She nodded, so I thought she understood, but it turned out Ria’s action meant quite the opposite.

I couldn’t side with Ria in this situation. In any case, if I trust someone more, it is Ria—not Sister Maria over there.

Upon hearing my words, Sister Maria put on an even softer smile.

Toward me, who was feeling a little relieved—

“But, Sister Anna, sometimes there are stories that are better kept secret from the world. The records of the bishops’ meetings at the Holy See and the Pope’s conversations are not open to everyone. Despite being nuns, there is a difference between a Saint Candidate and an ordinary nun…”

Ria is “the ordinary nun.” This means something different from being an “ordinary nun” like me. It’s not the same as the son of a CEO joining as a regular employee and truly being on the same level.

At this rate, I might become a saint, but from the perspective of the Church, Ria is a being with potential for defection at any moment.

Even so, I had nothing to lose.

She wasn’t a member of the Knight Order, nor had she risen to a position worthy of a high-ranking clergy member. Even if Ria suddenly quit being a nun, it wouldn’t cause me any regret.

However—

Strangely enough, those words struck a nerve with me.

“Are you saying there’s a big difference between the two of us?”

“That’s right.”

Sister Maria answered my question sharply.

Ria’s expression slightly hardened upon hearing that. It’s understandable. Ria tends to value emotional connections more than simple lineage or ability. She’s the type to get upset upon hearing something that denies our relationship just because of a difference in status.

…What would the original Saint be like? In the original story, “Anna” was already a saint. A saint who accepted her fate. Although she was described as being very close to Lee Chae-eun, was their bond as close as Ria and mine now?

I doubt it. I can be sure of that. There’s no evidence for it.

But… I just wanted to believe that. For quite a while now.

“……”

I stared at Sister Maria for a moment.

It was clear she wasn’t the type to be rattled by something like that, but still.

Just a moment ago, I was a bit scared by Ria’s sudden words, but now I wasn’t. Rather, I felt somewhat annoyed and angry.

“Then, I have nothing to hear from you either.”

“Sister Anna?”

The Sister Warden, who had anxiously been watching the situation, called my name in surprise.

I was about to clasp my hands together but stopped myself.

I prayed to the being looking down on me from above.

For now, I just wish they would stay quiet and not do anything.

Having that power might help in persuading people in the Church. The deeper the faith, the easier it might be to convince others.

But right now—

“Everything I have experienced until now, excluding the Saint Power I use when healing people, are achievements I witnessed alongside Ria here.”

“……”

Ria’s mouth slightly parted. Her stiff expression softened, and her dazed eyes looked at me.

I smiled gently at Ria.

Yeah, if I take Ria out of the picture now, it would end up being a one-sided relationship of just using her.

I didn’t like that.

“So, if anyone wants to discuss ‘the Saint Candidate’ with Sister Maria, it’s impossible to separate Ria from that conversation. I wouldn’t want it that way either.”

This feeling didn’t come out of nowhere.

A childhood friend’s rival. Another couple pairing I disliked while reading the original story.

But at the same time, she was a character I liked, creating a rather complicated feeling.

I never expected us to get close. After all, I was even thinking about quitting being a nun—

So when did it start?

No, perhaps pinpointing “when” is impossible.

As each day passed, getting to know each other, Ria became someone entirely different from “Lee Chae-eun” that I knew from the original work.

The relationships between people shifted subtly from what I once knew, and I began to notice habits and speech patterns of Lee Chae-eun that weren’t mentioned in the original work. Things I only knew through text were now beginning to feel real through my friend, “Ria.”

Ria was the kind of girl who would sneak food for her collapsed friend in the middle of the night. The way her lips would pout while complaining was an expression I didn’t see in illustrations. I only realized she would become a complete drunkard after downing a few drinks by letting Ria try some alcohol.

Ria wasn’t just the perfect hero. She liked to prank people, acted cocky, was curious about many things, and sometimes cried in her dreams, just like me.

And that’s why she could become my friend.

“……”

Sister Maria’s expression changed slightly. While she still maintained a smiling face, I could read from her slightly furrowed brows that she didn’t understand my actions.

“I understand Sister Anna is a woman of profound faith. With that deep faith, you performed miracles—”

“No.”

I cut her off sharply.

“My thoughts have been clear since the first time I wrote a letter to a Cardinal, no, even before that. There’s no need for a God in this world. There is a being looking down upon us from above, protecting us, but that being doesn’t care whether it’s called a God or not.”

The light didn’t fall.

But I wasn’t flustered.

Because that’s what I wanted.

My thoughts about Ria and my views on the word God are all mine. While this body may have been given by that being above, my thoughts were undoubtedly my own.

Whether I was wrong or right, that doesn’t need to be notarized by anyone.

“……”

Sister Maria sat in silence for a moment, as if lost in thought, and then slowly rose from her chair.

“Are you saying that the being that watches over us is not a God?”

“That’s right. At least not the omnipotent deity who claims to save us from all evils as the Church asserts.”

How cruel must that be?

No hero in the world should bear such a burden. One who has only saved a single person should not be expected to live solely to save others forever.

…

Yeah, I know this isn’t something for me to say. I can’t preach to others not to pray while I do so myself using so much power.

But perhaps I am the result of such prayers.

I dislike the religious implications. That sort of thing isn’t my preference. But at least when I think of everything I’ve done until now—I can only think of it as an agent.

The being above believes in me, regardless of my actions down here. No matter what results my actions yield. However, I do not understand the significance of all those actions.

In that dim light, I could read faint wills and a few words. And all I could feel from there was nothing but compassion for those who pray.

“Do you know how much of an impact such stories could have on others?”

With such a serious attitude, Maria’s question made me chuckle for the first time since meeting her.

“I’ve been consistently telling such stories all along. Almost no one has really listened to what I have to say.”

Everyone seemed to be interested only in the powers manifested through my body.

Even those who seriously listened to my stories still tended to gloss over my statement, “The word God is incorrect.”

Why worry about it now?

“If you think what I said is worth punishing, you can go ahead.”

“…Even so, my thoughts won’t change.”

“I’m not really accustomed to pain, so maybe with just a light torture, I’d end up saying I believe in God?”

That’s the truth.

I’m the one praying to borrow the power to save those who are dying. I’ve thought more than a few times that I could abandon this belief.

So, of course, if I get hurt, I’d have to say something like that.

Maria, who had been wearing a somewhat stern expression, relaxed and smiled slightly after hearing what I said.

“No, we wouldn’t go as far as that. Regardless of how far you go, it would only be a case of banning all access to every holy sanctuary after expulsion. And honestly, expelling Sister Anna in such a situation wouldn’t be a good move.”

“Is that so?”

“Regardless of whatever happens, there’s no one in the Church now who can receive the powers that Sister Anna does. The more we clash with Sister Anna, the more the Church’s credibility would actually decline.”

“But, is it really impossible for me to hear this story along with Ria?”

“……”

Sister Maria paused for a moment, seemingly lost for words.

“So, are you saying that everything you’ve shared so far has been because you wanted to hear it with your friend next to you?”

“To put it again, it’s a story I was already telling, so the context has changed. Given such a simple and clear fact, there’s absolutely no way I would think of separating my friend.”

“……”

Once more, Sister Maria was left speechless.

“In fact, I’d like to ask you. Why can’t Ria hear this story?”

Well, I have a few ideas in mind, but…

“Unfortunately, bureaucratic matters are far more complex than one might think.”

This ultimately meant it was a matter within the Holy See.

“…I’ll pass on Sister Anna’s words once more and confirm again.”

“That sounds good. If you want to negotiate with me or something like that…”

Sister Maria bitterly smiled.

As she slightly bowed her head and said, “I apologize for the late hour,” Sister Maria slowly walked out of the interview room.

As she walked down the corridor with the Sister Warden, she suddenly turned back as if she had recalled something.

“Sister Anna, regarding the story about faith from earlier, what would you do if someone forced you to give up your friendship with your friend in the ‘old-fashioned way’?”

But before I could respond, Ria stepped forward.

“That won’t happen. I’ll make sure of it beforehand.”

“……Is that so?”

Sister Maria looked back and forth between Ria and me before addressing me again.

“What a good friendship you share.”

I replied with a light nod.

Trying not to smile too broadly.