I hated martial artists.
I also hated martial arts. To be precise, I abhorred strength without justice.
It was because the closest martial artist to me as a child was none other than my father.
…The father who is now grabbing my hair and dragging me along.
“You worthless son! Your old man works his bones to the bone to feed you, and all you do is sleep and seek comfort!”
“Father, father! Please, let go of me…!”
“Son of Bin, if you can’t be good, at least try! You lazy son!”
Father was taking me toward a storeroom. I was helplessly dragged by his overwhelming strength.
Clang!
“You should know that you must read at least twenty of the manuals there before you can come out.”
“Wh-what? Manuals?”
“Damn it! I was about to achieve the realm of Fire, but for you!”
Slap!
“Aaaah!”
After throwing me into a dark, sealed storeroom, Father locked the door from outside.
And then, without looking back, he left.
“Fa, fa, Father?”
I screamed in front of the firmly locked door.
It did no good, but I still tried.
“Father! Father! Please open the door!”
Bang, bang, bang.
Even if I poured all my strength into pounding, clinging to, and trying to open it, there was nothing a child’s strength could accomplish.
Rather, all I felt was pain in my fists.
“Ugh, uuuh…”
No matter how early I matured, in the end, I was still just a child.
To be ‘imprisoned’ in a dark room alone is terrifying.
“What if Father doesn’t come back?”
My hands shook like aspen leaves. My legs went limp, and I collapsed to the floor with a thud.
“Urgh!”
As soon as I sat down, the pain in my bottom overwhelmed me, and I fell forward.
As if to prove that no one had touched this storeroom in a long time, dirt and dust clung all over my disheveled face.
“Please, someone… open the door…”
I pleaded with all my might, pressing my face against the door.
“Please… anyone, anyone…”
The door opened about three days later.
When my father first saw me, emaciated from not seeing light for three whole days, he said:
“Damn it, I completely forgot about it.”
“…”
“From now on, behave yourself. If you’d done well, this wouldn’t have happened.”
It was my fault.
Snap.
My mind went cold. Not the mind of the child I was, but the reality in my current mind.
I felt the urge to crush and destroy his shameless, despicable face just like how I crushed the two vermin from Mount Hua Sect the other day.
I knew, intellectually, that children shouldn’t defy their parents no matter how wrong they were, but I couldn’t help but feel furious.
After that day, Father often locked me in the sealed archive.
Of course, it was only at his discretion that he let me out. Whether I read the books he demanded or not, Father saw me simply as an easy tool to vent his frustrations.
While such a life persisted for nearly half a year, one day…
Boom!
“You won’t be able to come out until you’ve read all of them!”
As always, Father locked me in the sealed storeroom.
Because I had become accustomed to it, I didn’t make a fuss or cry. I didn’t bang on the door or plead in front of it.
“…Here again.”
I wish that had happened, but I was just staring blankly at the air with a stoic expression.
It seemed quite precarious in my current eyes.
Perhaps it was because of the hollow look in my eyes.
“Hmm… I’ve read all the manuals, so what should I read next?”
There was hardly any time to practice martial arts outside.
If Father had cared about me, he would have given me time to practice the countless manuals I had memorized, but Father never gave a second thought to what I thought.
“Maybe I’ll read them all over again…”
I scanned the empty storeroom with a vacant gaze.
“Aah, there’s still one left.”
Finding an old book hidden under the bookshelf was purely by chance.
It was also fortunate. At least, judging by the memories that are now resurfacing.
“Ugh…!”
Using every ounce of strength in my thin arms, I pushed the bookshelf and retrieved the hidden book.
The title was written as follows:
“The Analects of Confucius…?”
One of the famous Four Books and Five Classics, and a record of the teachings of the ancient sage Confucius.
It mainly documents dialogues between Confucius and his disciples, as well as his deeds and sayings.
Of course, I had no idea about those facts at the time. There was no way for me to know.
Both Mother and Father only forced me to train in martial arts. They dismissed everything else as useless.
“What kind of book is this? It doesn’t seem like a martial manual…”
Rustle.
Worried that the pages might crumble, I turned them carefully.
“Filial piety of the master…?”
It was a random page in the middle.
The passage inscribed on that page changed my life.
“The parents treat their children with kindness… and the children serve their parents with filial piety…”
That passage was remarkably similar to the ‘ideal’ I harbored as a child.
My small world was narrow. Its depth was shallow.
The breadth of my network was narrow, and my field of vision wasn’t high.
At the center of it all was Father.
I didn’t want to be like Father more than anyone else, but still, the only person I saw and learned from was Father.
Inevitably, I was bound to resemble him.
The Analects stopped me in my tracks.
It taught me about a new world, ignorance, foolishness, and dullness.
It impressed upon me upright actions, refined manners, and the mindset needed to live life.
As a young child, I became captivated by the Analects. Things like the duties between parents and children, and courtesies between people, which no one in the Namgung family had taught me.
All of this was starkly documented in the Analects.
From then on, whenever I was locked in there, I didn’t read the martial manuals.
I had already memorized all of the manuals anyway, so I could recite them line by line if Father asked me to.
Besides, I found immense pleasure in reading the Analects and refreshing my morals and etiquettes.
After I mastered the Analects, I secretly bought and brought other books too.
For example, the Mencius.
There was a passage in Mencius that had a profound influence on me.
“Harmonious husband and obedient wife.”
A principle of marital harmony where the husband must be gentle to the wife, and the wife must be obedient to the husband.
It was a passage that stood at the opposite extremes from my father, who drank excessively and inflicted violence daily.
Because of such a father, I was able to firmly establish the ideal path I needed to follow.
“Let’s endure this.”
Moreover, it was also the driving force that helped me endure those lonely and gloomy times.
“I’ll be fine once I become old enough to be independent.”
My mother, however, couldn’t endure like me…
In the Namgung family, there’s a rule to share a meal at the beginning of each week.
This rule was made to strengthen family harmony. And on that day, Father cannot lock me away.
“Big Brother, I haven’t seen you around much lately.”
Just before the meal started, Namgung Bin approached me with a question.
“Ah… focused on training…”
“Still, you should make an appearance at least.”
Namgung Bin, who lived in the inner chambers, didn’t know a thing about my lifestyle. It also played a part that he was only six years old.
“Bin.”
“…”
The elder Mother called Namgung Bin quietly.
“You need to focus on eating during meal times.”
Namgung Bin quietly closed his mouth and lowered his head.
“Is the Family Head not coming again today?”
Mother asked in the midst of the cold atmosphere.
“…He’s supposedly at some good place again.”
The answer came from the elder Mother.
‘Good place’, it was undoubtedly a brothel. That a man designated as the head of family is holed up in a brothel during family meal time is an unimaginable act of misconduct as far as I’m concerned.
“Is that so.”
“Alright, let’s eat among ourselves.”
With that said, the elder Mother signaled to the house matrons.
Soon, the skilled house matrons of the family arrived with various dishes in hand and headed towards the table.
However, the atmosphere was far from ordinary. A freezing aura, akin to walking on thin ice, lingered over the table.
Even I, as a child, could sense it, glancing at the elder Mother.
Her lips harbored a cruel smile.
Clunk.
I realized the reason only after identifying the nature of the food placed before Mother.
“!”
Befitting the Namgung family, known as the First Family under Heaven, the meal’s composition was truly luxurious.
Except for one person—everything before Mother stood in stark contrast.
A steaming bowl of freshly cooked rice sat before us, contrasting sharply with a cold scoop of rice before Mother.
While chickens graced our plates, only chicken bones were placed before her.
Where we had a bowl of dumpling soup, a meager porridge sat before Mother.
“…”
Mother silently stared at those dishes with vacant eyes.
“Mother, darling, why aren’t you eating? Is your stomach not well?”
The elder Mother mocked the silent Mother.
“…No, I’m fine.”
“Still, you must eat well. Considering your health.”
After briefly responding, Mother slowly consumed the meager meal.
Watching this, the rage within my youthful self boiled, but there was nothing I could do.
The luxurious feast placed before me only fueled my anger even more.
However, I couldn’t casually give my food to Mother.
If I did, it might appear as if Mother was receiving pity.
And that would endlessly lower the already rock-bottom prestige of Mother within the family.
Mother must know this, hence her silence as she quietly eats.
Any other child might not have considered the intricate details this deeply.
Gulp, gulp…
Crunch.
“Hey, are you already done?”
“Yes, I’ll go ahead.”
The cold, blade-like meal atmosphere dissipated when Mother finished her meal first and stood up.
“…I also will take my leave ahead.”
I hastily finished my meal and followed Mother.
Mother seemed to have disappeared quickly.
Instead, there were intermittent drops of tears that looked as though they were shed by Mother, scattered along the way towards the residence.
This made me feel an ominous sense, and I had to hurry as much as possible.
A while later, upon arriving at the residence,
“Mother…?”
Inside the residence, where no one else would come besides me, I saw Mother wielding a knife and violently hacking away at several radishes.
Mother’s eyes were dyed with madness and murderous intent. Even though they were just radishes, I had the illusion of blood pools forming around me.
“Th… Mother…”
“Son?”
I softly called, and Mother turned toward me with bloodshot eyes, glowing eerily.
Her gaze, akin to a lance piercing my soul, made me flinch as if I were scared.
‘What should I say…?’
“Mother, are you well…?”
My inquiry met with an icy response.
“Does our son think Mother looks fine?”
Her voice, now harsh and unyielding, was filled with a tenderness that only existed recently. During the time she was not just physically but also mentally much more fatigued.
“Isn’t it clear? To be humiliated in front of everyone watching…”
Mother’s words trembled.
Mother falteringly took a step toward me.
No, she was actually feeling her way towards me.
“Mother’s only hope is our son.”
“…”
“Reflect on the meaning of the name ‘Cheolbin.’ The ‘Cheol’ of iron and the ‘Bin’ of tempered steel was given so you could become a resolute person.”
“…”
“Mother believes in our son. Even though it’s hard to reach the position of the family head due to proper etiquette… In fact, if only Namgung Bin were out of the way…”
“Mother?”
“…Nothing. Go and focus on your training.”
Apparently, Mother was in a more precarious state than I had ever imagined at that time.
In my memory, not too long after this point in time, Mother fell down the stairs and passed away.
If she hadn’t passed then, I wonder if something horrifying might have occurred.
Now, I even question whether her death was truly an ‘accident.’
“Uuuuuuugh!”
Yusoeun hung her head and vomited a watery substance from her mouth.
Recently, she hasn’t been able to eat properly, so the vomit was abnormally clear in color.
“Haa, haa…”
Cold Guang Sword talked cold-bloodedly to her.
– Are you going to give up, human woman?
– No… I’ll continue watching…
Yusoeun gritted her teeth in reply. The saliva that dripped down from her mouth stained her chest.
– Tsk, foolish woman.
“Haaa… huuu…”
– Even I was unaware of this part of my master’s past… complicated indeed.
“Can you not help with this? It looks… too painful.”
– My master must summon me if I am to help.
Yusoeen looked at the blade with a sorrowful gaze.
There, the young Byul was still vividly displayed.
– …There is one way I can help in this state.
Having noticed the genuine sincerity in Yusoeun’s eyes, Cold Guang Sword suggested quietly.
“Really? What is it?”
– Catch someone. Preferably someone with unyielding spirit. Subdue them so they cannot move.
“Me…?”
– I can sense it. My master, who has long endured so much with me, will soon face a great mental collapse.
“! I, is that really true?”
Yusoeun asked, startled.
Her pupils wavered as if caught in a storm, shaken by a great shock.
– Can’t you see the signs already? In short, in order to alleviate some of the shame and despair my master will inevitably face, fetch someone without delay.
“Will that actually work…?”
– I am spiritually connected to my master. The reason I can arrive instantly, wherever and whenever called, is due to this spiritual connection. Therefore, with the right medium, sharing the pain becomes naturally possible.
“A-Alright… but still…”
– And remember, it has to be someone with a strong spirit. Someone strong enough to partially take on my master’s pain is crucial.
Though her throat still felt nauseous, Yusoeun swallowed her saliva.
Where would she find a robust person at this late hour?
Besides, wasn’t this the act of sacrificing someone else? In her life, Yusoeun had never done such a thing.
– Don’t regret it when it’s too late. Hurry up and bring someone over.
“…”
If it wasn’t for the matter of Bolt, who was far more precious than myself…
