Chapter 114

After arriving at my destination, I took a taxi to the agreed-upon place, specifically to the building of Ji Kang-hyeon Cultural Company. The editor, who was aware of my circumstances, suggested that we meet at a suitable café around the building instead of inside.

I went to the café as instructed. It seemed that the editor had not yet arrived. I ordered a hot chocolate and settled into a corner. Being a weekday and a bit past lunchtime, it appeared that I was the only customer in the café.

Soon, an alert sounded, indicating that my drink was ready, and I went to pick up the hot chocolate. A slightly older man, who didn’t seem to be a part-time worker, kindly handed me the drink with a pleasant voice. When I returned to my seat and glanced over at him, I was relieved to see that he didn’t seem to be paying attention to me.

Since I had sent a text saying I had arrived shortly after getting off the train, all I could do now was wait for the editor. I sipped my hot chocolate, blowing on it to cool it down, while looking at my smartphone.

I arrived a little earlier than our appointment time, but the editor had not shown up even after 30 minutes past the scheduled time. It wasn’t particularly late without prior notice; he had sent a text saying he would be a bit late due to some business.

Normally, I wouldn’t have been so annoyed, but perhaps because of that day, I felt a bit irritated.

A little while later, the café door opened, and a bell rang. A middle-aged man, slightly panting, entered, glanced around, and then, upon spotting me, rubbed his eyes and stared blankly for a moment.

Once he snapped back to reality, the man approached me and spoke.

“Seol-guk writer… this must be you. Seeing you up close.”

“Editor Kang Jin-soo?”

“Yes, that’s right. I’m so sorry for being late.”

He looked quite exhausted, as if he had rushed over. However, my irritation didn’t completely dissipate; I was not young enough to show that to a contracting party.

“No, it’s fine. I haven’t been waiting long at all.”

“I’m glad to hear you say that. By the way…”

“Yes?”

“Oh, it’s nothing. Your outfit surprised me; I thought I might have seen you wrong.”

Considering my public image versus my actual age and gender, I suppose my appearance might seem completely mismatched. Still, expressing that directly felt somewhat awkward.

“It’s a disguise.”

“It certainly seems effective.”

I had no intention of continuing such trivial conversation. We quickly moved on to discussing the manuscript and the contract. I was the one who broke the ice.

“Meeting to discuss means you’ll be publishing my book, right?”

“That’s generally the case, but given the circumstances, I had to convey this to the company president.”

“What did they say?”

“They said it was fine. I’m relieved.”

“That’s a relief.”

Is it really a relief?

The conversation naturally shifted to discussing the work. Although the role of editors in the Korean publishing industry has been gradually diminishing, it wasn’t entirely non-existent. Kang Jin-soo shared his thoughts on the manuscript and raised various points and questions.

I answered without much difficulty. I acknowledged reasonable criticisms and stood firm on the aspects I wanted to keep or didn’t wish to disclose. Kang Jin-soo did not seem like the type to pressure authors, so finding a compromise wasn’t too difficult.

After discussing for a while, we began searching for a compromise. Not all editors were reckless like Kim Sung-kyu; I found that I could communicate fairly well with Kang Jin-soo.

“Well then, let’s decide on one important thing now.”

“What do you mean?”

“Whether to reveal the author’s name or keep it hidden.”

…Ah, so that’s what we were talking about.

“To be honest, the writing itself is good. It’s strong and captivating, with great potential in terms of themes and topics. Given the market, I can’t guarantee success, but I think it would do quite well even if published under a pseudonym. On the other hand, if you publish under your real name, it would certainly create more buzz. The initial sales figures would likely be stronger this way. The downside, however, is that the hype might prevent it from receiving a fair evaluation, and over time, sales could plummet. However, even if that happens, it may still sell more overall, but there’s a degree of risk. You’ll also need to consider the sharp reactions from readers. Otherwise, you could publish it anonymously at first and then gradually hint at the truth later.”

Publishing under a pseudonym. I had entertained the idea before, but I never thought I’d hear it directly from an editor. All three options had their pros and cons. If I could avoid being discovered, publishing the book under a pseudonym seemed like the safest route, but it also carried a lower chance of success.

Revealing my name might certainly stir up attention, but that came with risks and the possibility of not receiving a proper evaluation. It wasn’t an easy decision.

Nevertheless, I didn’t hesitate.

I didn’t want to run away. But I had fled countless times after that.

I didn’t want to run away from this too.

“Please publish it as-is. I have no intention of hiding.”

“Then I’ll go with your opinion.”

Everything proceeded smoothly. It didn’t take long to finalize the contract. Soon, the advance payment would arrive, which would relieve some of my stress. However, I hadn’t come this far just for the sake of one book.

I wanted to continue signing contracts moving forward, if possible. I had already conveyed my intentions over the phone.

I wasn’t sure when the new work would come out.

“Of course, we need to see how things unfold, but we’re considering it positively on our end. Fortunately, it seems the president doesn’t mind much either.”

“Are you referring to Ji Kang-jin?”

“No, I mean President Seomun-sook. Ji Kang-jin isn’t very involved in the company’s affairs.”

Seomun-sook. Ji Kang-hyeon’s mother.

She had extended an inexplicable kindness towards me. Despite that, I felt a twinge of guilt for the trouble caused by the scandal with Ji Kang-hyeon, but fortunately, it appeared she wasn’t concerned about it.

“By the way, does that mean you’re working on another piece?”

That was certainly not the case. It had taken quite a while to complete ‘Pogung’, so there was no way I had time to prepare a new work. The only other piece I had written during that time was the story of Seol-neun, the girl who stole the name.

Even if I answered no, it wouldn’t change much. Yet, a sense of anxiety and nervousness lingered. It felt like a compulsive need to answer as if I were working on something. Was this restlessness also due to emotional instability?

“Yes… I do have something.”

“Could you possibly show it to me?”

Should I show it?

This recent piece I had merely jotted down? Even if I didn’t show it, it wouldn’t be a big problem. I was well aware of that, separate from my compulsions.

So,

“Yes.”

In the end, saying that was not due to anxiety or compulsion.

I wanted to show someone the story of Seol-neun, the girl who stole the name.

And I wanted to seize the opportunity to break through this blockage I was stuck in. I was still lingering in the early stages. It was a painfully slow pace. It was evident that something was obstructing my progress.

To break through that obstruction, I needed someone else’s perspective.

I sent the saved file to him.

“It’s still short. It won’t take you long to read it right here.”

Kang Jin-soo immediately began reading my novel on his phone. I waited anxiously for his feedback. It felt comparable to the excitement of showing someone my first completed novel.

Since it wasn’t a lengthy work, I saw him close his phone after about 30 minutes of waiting.

“You wrote something like this.”

Was that disappointment, or admiration? His vague expression made it difficult for me to judge.

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I’m genuinely fascinated. The writing style feels like it was penned by a completely different person. It’s both fairy-tale-like and emotionally strong. While there was a significant difference between ‘Boy’s Womb’ and ‘Pogung’, this piece seems to pursue an entirely different direction. However, I don’t think it will ultimately become a fairy tale. You’re not writing this as literary fiction, are you?”

“…Yes, that’s the sense it gives off.”

In reality, I hadn’t accurately defined it yet.

“It’s intriguing, but for a piece like this, I think it would be better to talk to someone else rather than me. I’m not particularly well-versed in this area. Our company also deals with web novels. I can connect you with the staff in charge of that.”

This wasn’t bad at all. Although Seol-neun wasn’t a novel I had intentionally set out to write, ultimately, writing is something that needs to be shared with others. In whatever direction.

However, even if I were to continue working on this novel, I didn’t think I would serialize it as a web novel. I wanted advice, but jumping into that muddy water felt like a separate matter. While I couldn’t say I knew web novels well, if there were editors involved, I could expect to receive some help.

Their perspectives would also be completely different.

“Well, today’s work ends here for now… Actually, the president mentioned that if you’re okay with it, you could meet her. Do you have any thoughts on that?”

What I had initially thought would be a wrap-up had extended further. I had agreed to meet in this place initially to avoid meeting that president.

Of course, knowing that the other person wasn’t particularly concerned made it not an outright no to go, but it was still uncomfortable.

Moreover, apart from the point that it was only reasonable to express thanks and apologies, witnessing this kind of scenario left me feeling repelled. If Kang Jin-soo were someone I didn’t know at all, that would have been preferable. I was able to see them in that way because I genuinely felt that way. But knowing the person already…

I sighed as I looked around my body. I certainly didn’t have the body of an adult man.

This foolish worry ultimately ended in acceptance. I had been found in unfortunate situations at home, and there had been moments in chick-colored pajamas; I didn’t want to be someone who couldn’t communicate anything because they were overly concerned about appearances.

Hearing my words, Kang Jin-soo stood up.