Chapter 11

“One spicy chicken sandwich.”

When I ordered that from the street vendor’s female employee, she responded in a loud voice, “One spicy chicken sandwich, coming right up!” and started making my sandwich.

She sliced the chicken grilled on a blazing fire into large pieces, placed them between the halves of a white bun, and sprinkled various spices on top.

“Damn, this is it.”

Unfortunately, there’s no fried chicken here. I tried to mimic it, but it didn’t taste like I imagined, and I just wasted oil and meat, earning me a scolding from Airi.

“Here’s your spicy chicken sandwich! It’s hot, so be careful and enjoy it slowly!”

“I’ll eat it quickly, so don’t order me around.”

The street vendor employee chuckled at my joke. I paid for the food and threw in another joke.

“Can’t you give me a discount since I’m good-looking?”

The street vendor employee shot back with her own joke.

“Then, can you tip me based on how pretty I am?”

“Wow, I’m about to sell my house just to eat one sandwich.”

“Hehe. Enjoy your meal. Oh, this is on the house.”

The street vendor employee handed me a bottle of pineapple juice as a freebie. Looks really do make life easier.

I took the sandwich and headed to a nearby park.

Sitting on a park bench, I took a bite of the chicken sandwich. The pungent aroma of the spices, the savory flavor of the chicken, the sweet sauce, the crisp lettuce, and the subtle sweetness of the soft white bun all came together to stimulate my frontal lobe.

Some people might prefer fancy courses, but for me, this kind of B-grade food is my taste. Even before I reincarnated into Werner’s body, I loved chicken burgers from fast-food joints.

As my throat got dry, I gulped down the pineapple juice the employee gave me. The intense tanginess and sweetness mixed together, refreshing my mouth.

“Ah, damn, this is it.”

Sitting in the park, enjoying my favorite food while lost in thought. That was a shared hobby between Werner and me. The only difference is that Werner is a hero, and I’m a murderer.

“By the way, if you’re going to jump me, wait a bit. This is expensive, so let me finish it while it’s still hot and delicious.”

I noticed some guys who couldn’t control their bloodlust earlier. Now, it seems everyone in the park is like that. Damn, there’s a lot of them.

I finished the last bit of the chicken sandwich and drank the remaining half bottle of pineapple juice.

“Alright, I’m done. Now, let’s talk, you idiots.”

At that, the guys who were radiating bloodlust started pulling out their weapons. The old man reading a newspaper on the bench, the couple chatting happily, the young man playing an instrument on the ground, the guys playing ball, and even the young lady walking her dog—all of them were targeting me.

Damn, this would make a great novel title. ‘Assassins Are Obsessed With Me.’ Tags: bloodshed, obsession, reincarnation. Male protagonist warning, etc.

“Hey, so who sent you? A crime syndicate? Some cultists? My fiancée? Or did the guys I messed up before pool funds for a hit?”

The assassins didn’t answer my question. They waited for me to finish my meal, so they’re not completely heartless. In the two months I’ve lived as Werner, there were plenty of guys who attacked during meals. I don’t mess with people while they’re eating, so I broke their limbs and threw them on the street.

“Are you shy? Oh, I must be so handsome it’s embarrassing.”

Even after my joke, they didn’t respond and just charged at me. If even Werner’s looks don’t work, how high are their standards? Guys like that usually have huge egos.

I grabbed one of those high-and-mighty guys by the hair and slammed his face into the bench corner. His nose flattened. Yeah, inflated egos need to be brought down.

“Alright, next candidate for plastic surgery, raise your hand.”

Even though I raised my hand, they didn’t want plastic surgery. Honestly, some of them really needed it. Why are they so shy?

Maybe it’s because there’s no anesthesia. But I don’t have any anesthetics or expertise in anesthesia. Handling anesthetics without a license is a crime.

Then, the only other option is electric shock. I’ll knock them out with electric shocks and perform the plastic surgery. With the heart of Dr. Schweitzer, offering free medical care.

“Rain of lightning, pour down upon the earth now!”

Oh, Blitzmon, the projectile of lightning! Pikachu, Ash’s eternal partner! Grant me your power!

Then, a downpour of lightning bolts rained down. Of course, the electric rain didn’t touch me and only focused on my enemies.

The savory smell of roasting meat and the acrid smell of smoke simultaneously stimulated my nostrils. Suddenly, I’m craving pork ribs. Maybe I should buy some meat on the way back.

“Hey, I controlled the power, so you won’t die. You’ll just be in enough pain to wish you were dead, so don’t worry too much.”

No response came back. Maybe they’re deaf? I spoke a bit louder.

“Hey, as a fellow professional, you guys suck. So, stop hurting people and go sell sandwiches or something.”

It’s advice so they don’t regret their lives like I did before reincarnating as Werner.

Despite my teachings, they didn’t respond, maybe they’re knocked out. They didn’t even show gratitude for my teachings. Even the underworld has manners.

“Well, I’ll be going then. Take care of yourselves.”

I bid farewell to the guys and left the park. If the guards see that magic and come to interrogate me, it’ll be a real pain. If it were the adventurer’s guild, maybe, but if the guards report Werner’s existence to the higher-ups, I’m screwed.

Werner ran away to a border city at seventeen to escape his fiancée. Of course, damn it, at the time, Werner was seventeen, and his fiancée was nine.

And damn, it was an engagement arranged by Werner’s guardian, the protagonist of <Draghinty Fantasy 1>, and the Duke of the northern city.

When Werner heard about the engagement, he said to his respected older brother and sister-in-law:

[Brother, sister-in-law, are you insane? Have you lost your minds?]

It was the first time Werner stood up to his brother, and he got beaten up by his sister-in-law that day. Then, the night before the wedding, Werner fled to the border city of Bekem.

A few months later, when the protagonist of <Draghinty Fantasy 1> finally caught him, Werner knelt and begged for his life. That little girl with a strong sense of pride would never forgive the man who broke off the engagement.

So, he kept begging to be let off. In the end, the protagonist of <Draghinty Fantasy 1> agreed to overlook Werner’s escape on the condition that he take care of his daughter.

Werner’s prideful fiancée, deeply hurt, is still looking for him. If she catches him, he’s definitely getting torn apart.

Damn, if I mess with the disciple, it’s a bad ending. If the fiancée catches me, it’s a bad ending. If I choose Camellia, I break the promise with the protagonist of <Draghinty Fantasy 1>, and it’s a bad ending.

Damn, there’s no bed ending, only bad endings. The difference between “Sis, I’m dying” and “Sis, I’m really dying” is just a single stroke.

“Women are such a pain, damn it.”

I muttered that as I entered an alley. I told Airi to eat dinner alone, but I guess I should go eat with her. If I lecture her over dinner, she’ll surely become a well-mannered child again.

After smelling the roasting meat earlier, I’m craving pork, so I’m on my way with some pork.

Should I grill it whole? Or slice it? Or lightly fry it? As I pondered, a familiar voice reached my ears.

“It seems you’re living healthily.”

It’s not a woman. I can’t have more heroines, that’d be troublesome. Plus, it’s not the fiancée, so I’m even more relieved.

But a man? Wait a minute…

“Uh, by any chance…”

“Have you already forgotten my voice?”

The owner of the familiar voice took off his hood. Brown hair and golden eyes, just like Airi’s.

“Y-you are…”

“You don’t even call me brother anymore.”

“B-brother, why are you here…”

“I had some business nearby and thought I’d stop by to talk to you.”

Zig Draghinty,

The protagonist of <Draghinty Fantasy 1>, Werner’s guardian, one of the strongest in the world, and Airi’s father.

Why is my brother here?

“Shall we change locations?”

The start of a parent-teacher conference simulation game where one wrong choice means death.