It seems someone anonymous has spread the rumor that I have a kid, though I don’t know who they are at all.
They were quite diligent, starting early in the morning and personally giving hints here and there, which was nothing short of devotion.
The problem was that it had no effect whatsoever.
In fact, it only increased my notoriety.
However, after the rumor spread, the reason people were calling me in and sitting me down all became the same.
Everyone was telling me the same thing: that they would make me happy if I would just marry them and bring my child over…
It was absolutely disgusting, but since my income had significantly increased, I didn’t have many complaints.
Pain that doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.
“Julia! Where are you going?”
“To the upper floor.”
“Who said you could leave your cleaning duties?”
“Can’t you hear the baby crying? If the poop leaks out of the diaper and soaks into the motel floor, will you take responsibility?”
“Ugh… Just hurry up and go.”
After Tia’s existence was discovered, there was no longer a need to leave her at a distant house and come to work.
Instead, I could leave her in the motel room upstairs and use that as an excuse to come and go frequently.
Each time I went up and came back down, the crying sounds would reach me about every 10 minutes, but others would usually let me go upstairs even in the middle of work.
I never would have imagined that the constantly crying Tia would one day be something I’d be grateful for.
“Really, you cry over the smallest things. You stop immediately just by seeing my face.”
“Mwa…”
When I went upstairs and confirmed that Tia’s diaper was clean, a laugh escaped me.
Clearly, she cries knowing I’ll come.
People are such cunning creatures.
That I now find these cries I once hated so much somewhat endearing shows it.
Always coming home late and seeing her only by dim candlelight, I had forgotten how adorable Tia looks under bright lighting.
“Crumpled up, with a scowling face that looked so ugly—it feels like just the other day, but now you’ve got plump cheeks and a chubby tummy. I could burst into laughter just by looking at you.”
Your father only gave horns, everything else comes from me, and that’s a stroke of good fortune.
This girl will have to spend her whole life being grateful to me.
Or, wait. Is giving birth to you a sin I have to atone for?
“Isn’t this kid growing way too fast?”
“Mwa?”
I slipped my hands under her armpits and lifted her up once.
She’s heavy.
Too heavy.
She wasn’t this heavy just last week.
Compared to when she was born, it feels like she’s doubled, no, quadrupled in weight.
Given her unusual birth, it’s not surprising she’s growing fast, but this seems excessively quick.
“Mo-om-ah.”
“What?”
I froze in shock.
As I stiffened, Tia looked at me, confused, tilting her head—no, it must have been her heavy head drooping—while staring at me blankly.
Still, if I didn’t imagine it, she clearly just called me “mom.”
“Say it again.”
“Ne-u.”
“Say it! Quickly!”
“Mwae-eee…”
As much as I shook her, the word “mom” wouldn’t come again.
Was it just an accidental slip?
Besides, where would she even have learned the word “mom”?
“A.”
Then, I finally noticed.
In front of Tia, I kept referring to myself as “mom.”
Every day without thought, I was saying things like, “Mom is so tired” or “Mom is so stressed.”
A heavy sigh escaped me.
I must be going insane.
I had barely been here a month and was already trying to adapt my body to being a woman.
I’m a man, after all.
“…”
Suddenly, I shivered and became overwhelmed by unease.
What if I never go back?
What if I lose myself?
The worries I’d been trying hard to forget all along came back and engulfed me again.
“A. Ah, Auh-ah…”
My legs gave out, and I collapsed.
Again. Again this happens.
The sharp sensation tearing and ransacking my insides returned, leaving my lower half completely immobile.
The hateful glares directed at me, the rocks being thrown, and then the bizarre smiles—it all replayed in my mind.
“Ha… Haaak…”
My breath came short.
Helplessness gripped my throat.
But just as that feeling was about to crush me, the scene of me shouting, the black lizard taking a step back and flying away, overlapped in my mind. The helplessness gradually transformed into hatred.
The target of that hatred was painfully obvious.
“Meoooh!”
“A.”
The groaning sound and the little kicks against my face startled me. I immediately loosened my grip.
Seems like I had unintentionally been holding her too tightly.
Tears were welling up in Tia’s eyes.
“No. No, that’s not right…”
Startled, I picked up Tia.
I am not trash.
I am not the kind of trash that vents their frustration on an innocent baby who knows nothing.
In my head, I kept repeating this, yet inside my chest, I could feel the seed of hatred that I could not deny tickling me.
I was scared.
Scared that one day I’d be swallowed whole by this hatred.
Scared that I’d no longer be myself.
“I’m struggling. I’m so struggling…”
I missed my mom and dad.
I missed my friends.
I even missed the stubborn older sister tutor who wouldn’t stop clinging after I broke up with her, forcing me to block all her calls.
“Julia! Are you going to change that poopy diaper all day? Hurry up and come down!”
“I’m coming down…”
Break time was over.
Placing Tia on the bed, I took a deep breath for a moment.
Looking into the mirror, I saw the reflection of a charming girl with a soft smile and sharp eyes.
A quasi-prostitute who sells her smiles every single day to barely survive.
“Let’s push through today.”
If I endure for two more weeks, I’ll be able to get some clothes with the paycheck I’ll receive.
Winter is coming soon…
We may even be able to go out for meals.
Just in time, before the senior’s roar began again, I hurried down the stairs.
*
“A. Damn.”
“Julia. Be careful. Your true nature’s showing.”
“What did you say, huh?”
“Hiik…”
I was so tired today, my words kept coming out wrong.
Thanks to that, I’ve had my bookings canceled three times already mid-service.
Ah. If this continues, it’ll be a total loss today.
The temporary feeling of freedom that swept through me made me wish I could just relax and do nothing all day.
I need to save up money to move to a decent place so I can leave this dirty racket.
There aren’t many normal jobs a woman with unclear identity and background can do in this world.
If I were an extraordinary magic user, I might have been able to go into the magic-wielding side, but that’s just not my reality. At best, I could probably just set up an illegal street stall.
Of course, for that, I’d need business capital and even money to hire a housekeeper.
Thinking about how far that all felt made my breath catch in my throat.
“Julia! Someone requested you!”
“Okay…”
“This time, try to do well. While flaking out is part of your charm, too much of it might infuriate the customers…”
“I don’t even understand why that’s considered a charm.”
“I don’t know. If you’re really curious, why don’t you ask the customers directly?”
“…”
I don’t want to.
I have no desire to understand the warped thought processes of those disgusting men.
The innkeeper passed me, handing over a key.
Ah. It’s a private room this time.
Sexual harassment is especially bad in enclosed spaces.
I wanted to just drop it right away, but at this point, if I cancel another booking, I fear I’ll lose my source of income entirely.
“Ugh.”
Right then, I tripped and twisted my ankle.
I still haven’t adjusted to the cursed height of these heels.
“A. Damn it.”
Upon checking my foot, I couldn’t help but curse.
It was an open fracture, with the bone piercing through the flesh.
Though it hurt, I wasn’t about to cry and call people together here.
Biting my teeth, I realigned the twisted ankle, watching the torn skin close back up.
I wiped away the blood with a tissue, and with a slight limp, headed towards the private room.
It didn’t take long for the pain to subside, and my walking returned to normal.
“Did you wait long? It’s me, Julia!”
I announced cheerfully with a bright smile.
No matter how much my current look might be considered an arousal drug, surviving in this world isn’t about just looks.
Even though I occasionally smack the heads of those who cross the line, I generally belong to the category of someone who provides good service.
It’s easy.
If you’re just good at flirting, you can easily earn half your daily income doing it.
“Wow, she’s gorgeous!”
“Heheh, I told you. Good water here.”
There were two men.
Then the least they could do is call two girls for a one-to-one menu as per etiquette.
I barely managed to suppress my eyes from narrowing and sat down in the space between the pig and the squid.
The seat was warm, and with it, a wave of discomfort hit me the instant I sat down.
“Hey, is there something else you want to see?”
“What?”
“Just an after party maybe? The motel above is great.”
“That’s there… but…”
“I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t go for second rounds.”
“That’s just the story until yesterday. Moods can change anytime, right?”
“Still, I…”
“Hey. We’re not rushing you to decide right away anyway. Let’s enjoy drinks slowly and think about it. We could also take some time to get to know each other better. What do you say?”
“…”
“Should I go to another table?”
The pig left the room, leaving me and the squid alone.
For a moment, I decided to just pass the time by sipping on the cup squid handed me.
I’d give them appropriate service while firmly exuding the vibe that I wouldn’t go for round two.
“Julia seems more intelligent than she looks.”
“More than she looks like… What do I look like?”
“Hmm… Your first impression gave me the image of a naive, clueless girl from the boondocks. But talking a bit, it’s clear that’s not the case. You may not know a lot, but there’s a certain refinement in your words. You’re not the type who should work in a place like this, aren’t you?”
What refinement?
I wanted to immediately reply with something completely unrefined, but I swallowed it down.
“Hmm. Let me guess. You’re from a fallen noble family?”
“…Wrong.”
“That sounds right though. I heard you even have a daughter, and your husband… must have died, right? Didn’t he pass during the war some time ago?”
“All wrong. Let’s talk about something else—”
“And you’re carrying a trauma. Right?”
“…”
“Look into my eyes. Hmm… Your first experience was pretty rough, wasn’t it? A trauma you’re still suffering from.”
Damn bastard.
You hit the spot guessing blindly.
My fists clenched hard.
“No…”
“Julia. Should we go upstairs? I can show you that it’s not as painful as you think it is. Sitting around here chatting doesn’t bring in a lot of money, does it? It’s time you make money.”
“…”
The squid kept trying to persuade me, lightly gripping my hand.
It was ridiculous.
Even if I’ve fallen as far as I can fall, I can’t sell my body.
There are countless women in this neighborhood who’ve promised themselves they’d quit after making just 300 million, only for them to squander it all on designer bags and necklaces and come crawling back.
People never forget the taste of easy money. Never.
That’s why once a prostitute, forever a prostitute.
“Uh…”
Was it just that I was so tired today?
My mind was wavering.
Most women, after all, go somewhere to get married, is there much of a difference between that and being an exclusive prostitute somewhere?
Just as I was about to let all my doubts out and consider giving up altogether…
“What? A baby?”
“Mom-mmah…”
The sound seeping through the crack in the room’s door made me shiver all over.
Tia’s voice?
No, crying?
“Hey, hold on!”
“Waaah! What’s the matter?”
Startled, I abruptly stood from my seat.
Only then did I remember Tia’s horns.
Horns that absolutely should not be seen by anyone.
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