Chapter 108

When had she been standing there?

If I wasn’t sleeping, I must’ve heard something of what went on to some extent.

Truth be told, I’d more or less guessed this from the start of my days with Professor Han.

That Student Song Do-yoon would’ve noticed the affairs between us in the room next door.

Song Do-yoon is not a fool.

But even so, I don’t know how she feels about this fact.

Because Song Do-yoon always held a composed and emotionless expression, never betraying any hint of her inner thoughts.

However, I was certain of one thing.

Song Do-yoon might’ve grown to detest me.

After all, she was brought into our team, as an open or closeted homosexual, by Professor Han.

And then that Professor Han would nightly lay with their supervisor right next door.

And this supervisor, so dignified during the day, never refused the visits of their disciple each night.

Yeah, I had foreseen that a day like this would come.

“Professor.”

“Yes, Student Do-yoon.”

“Where are you going?”

“I intended to step out for a bit of fresh air.”

“In that case, I’ll join you.”

“Very well. It’s cold, so please bring your coat.”

There was no intention to evade, and I resolved to answer Song Do-yoon’s questions forthrightly.

In the end, everything would have to be disclosed, and any unnecessary misunderstandings must be minimized in the process.

Together with Song Do-yoon, clad in a thick padded jacket, I stepped out into the expansive garden.

The winter night was frigid, and each breath chilled the nose.

“Are you cold?”

As I asked, exhaling a white plume of steam from my mouth, Song Do-yoon shook her head, her neck buried in her coat.

We walked silently through the garden for a time.

Song Do-yoon kept her head slightly bowed, gazing at the ground while exhaling wisps of mist but remained silent.

I was content to wait until she broke the silence.

After all, it was Song Do-yoon who initiated this encounter.

“Professor.”

When we had walked about half a lap through the garden and reached the furthest point from Professor Yu Hye-won’s house, Song Do-yoon stopped and began to speak.

“Yes, Student Do-yoon.”

“The noise from your room with Han Min-ha is making it hard for me to sleep.”

“I apologize. I’ll try to quiet Student Min-ha… though, no, my apologies for the disturbance.”

“Please be more careful from now on. I’ve been very tired during the day.”

“Understood.”

With that, Song Do-yoon resumed walking.

Could it be… she followed me out here to discuss that matter?

When we had walked the rest of the garden and reached the entrance, Song Do-yoon didn’t head in but continued onward.

After another half-lap through the garden, Song Do-yoon asked.

“Professor, are you and Han Min-ha… together?”

“Hmm… we haven’t discussed that specifically yet.”

“Then are you lovers without a committed relationship?”

An unexpected question, but fortunately, my mental barrier blocked any unneeded reaction.

“I’m not exactly sure either. To be honest, there isn’t a clear word to define exactly what relationship exists between Student Min-ha and myself.”

“So, it’s just lonely people consoling one another, I suppose?”

“That doesn’t seem entirely incorrect. However…”

“I’ll keep it a secret. Anyway, you’re both adults, and it would be problematic for the Academy if you got into trouble. The last thing we need is for you to lose your position.”

“Thank you.”

Song Do-yoon paused, quietly looking at me for a moment before asking.

“Does doing that alleviate your loneliness?”

“Not simply the act itself. It’s more about who we’re with that matters.”

“Is that so? What is Han Min-ha to you, Professor?”

“Someone like me—a loner.”

“Ah.”

With that, Song Do-yoon fell silent, her gaze fixed on the distant cityscape of the night.

“I’m sorry, Student Do-yoon.”

“For what?”

“For the loudness, for what I’ve done with Student Min-ha, and for failing to uphold the dignity of a professor, disappointing you.”

Song Do-yoon chuckled lightly with a hint of mockery before saying.

“You’ve already apologized for the noise, and as for what you’ve done with Student Min-ha, it’s none of my business. And as for the dignity of a professor…well, any man might fall for someone as seductive as Han Min-ha.”

“I’m grateful for your understanding. But when you say it’s none of your business…”

“Professor, you seem to think I have feelings for Han Min-ha.”

Deciding it was best to be honest, I answered straightforwardly.

Song Do-yoon is perceptive. When conversing with someone like her, it’s better to be direct.

“Student Do-yoon, I’m aware that you cherished feelings for Student Hye-won in the past. And I’ve guessed that the reason you joined our team was because your affection transferred from Student Hye-won to Student Min-ha. However, since it was a personal matter, I chose neither to question nor to criticize it.”

“It’s changed.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t quite know myself. Just….”

Still looking out at the city lights, Song Do-yoon asked.

“As a supervisor, how far are you allowed to interfere?”

“Guidance students encompasses everything. Beyond academic performance, it includes personal difficulties as well.”

“Is that so?”

“Speak your mind.”

“Here. Though it’s cold, it feels like the chill might help me say what I need to.”

“Feel free to express yourself as needed.”

“I’ve been homosexual since I was little. More accurately, I was a male-phobe. My father’s fault.”

Song Do-yoon paused briefly before continuing.

“My father was an alcoholic. He couldn’t survive a day without liquor and women—he was someone who shouldn’t have ever started a family.”

This was a story I’d never heard before.

Not in the dossier or in the notes from Professor Yu Hyun-ju’s interviews with her. This was the real Song Do-yoon coming to light.

“Without any real skills or talents, he worked odd jobs, earning just enough to scrape by, but most of his money went to his liquor. He was always drunk without exception. And like many incompetent alcoholic heads of household, do you know what they do?”

“Domestic violence.”

“Exactly. My father would beat my mother, me, and my younger sister, forcing us to earn money when he couldn’t. And when no one was home, he’d bring women over to use the master bedroom for his liaisons.”

“…?”

It felt more like the plot of some bleak modern novel or film—something I least expected to hear from the mouth of a guidance student.

“Occasionally, my sister or I would come home early and stumble upon the sight. At such times, my father would tell us that we should get used to it since we’d all do the same once we grew up.”

It was a story difficult to speak aloud, yet Song Do-yoon related it in a detached tone.

Perhaps this was how Song Do-yoon protected herself from external stimuli and stress—much like my mental barrier.

“After my father died at the construction site, I was honestly relieved. Finally, we were free. The three of us who remained thought we could live happily, even if modestly. But as you might guess, my mother deteriorated similarly.”

Song Do-yoon’s lips closed as she exhaled a trembling wisp of steam.

“From that point forward, I grew to despise men. I’ve rarely seen a decent man, save for my father, which might have deepened my aversion even more.”

“I see. I understand.”

“But now… everything is becoming blurred.”

“Tell me what’s confusing you, and I’ll help you.”

But that seemed to be the end of her willingness to open up.

Song Do-yoon, who had been staring at me with an indifferent expression, said,

“Until our graduation, you must take responsibility for us.”

An unexpected shift in topic.

There must be some issue, but it seemed she wasn’t ready to voice it yet.

Pursuing the matter would only make Song Do-yoon clam up, given her personality.

So, I simply smiled.

“Of course.”

“Make sure you don’t accidentally get Han Min-ha pregnant and end up on maternity leave or something.”

“Haha… don’t worry. We’re cautious about contraception.”

“Just relying on caution doesn’t seem like enough to me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Haven’t you considered the possibility that she might secretly sabotage the contraception with a fingernail or something?”

At my puzzled expression, Song Do-yoon elaborated.

“It seems like she desperately wants to get pregnant. A while ago, I saw her doing a handstand in the living room on the third floor. She fell when she noticed me, and I once saw her massaging her lower abdomen alone.”

“Ah… I see….”

“Being so naive. She probably thinks her child will turn out better that way. So don’t let your guard down.”

It was so absurd I couldn’t help but laugh.

My mental barrier didn’t react much beyond registering the absurdity.

Song Do-yoon glanced at my smile and nodded toward the doorway.

“Let’s go back in, Professor. Who knows, maybe without anyone around, Han Min-ha is already working herself up alone.”

“Yeah, let’s go in.”

As we walked side by side across the garden, we headed toward the entrance.

“Good night, then. If you’re planning to continue inside, please try to keep the noise down.”

As she stood by the door, Song Do-yoon nodded slightly with a somewhat awkward farewell.

“I’ll do my best. Sleep well.”

Upon returning to the room, Han Min-ha lay on the bed, blinking at me.

“Where have you been?”

“Out for some fresh air.”

“Then come here. I woke up too.”

Han Min-ha pulled back the blanket, revealing herself with a smile.

The kid really knows no bounds…

…

After Professor Hyun entered the room, Song Do-yoon stood by the door with her forehead against it for quite some time.

After a while, Han Min-ha’s moans could be faintly heard from inside.

“Uk! Uk!”

It seemed that Professor Hyun had muffled the sounds due to Song Do-yoon’s earlier warning.

Listening to the subdued noises, Song Do-yoon sighed lightly.

In the end, she hadn’t been able to speak.

She let slip the chance to voice the turmoil that began the night she realized Professor Hyun and Han Min-ha had consummated their relationship.

The timing wasn’t the problem.

It was just that she lacked the courage.

She was aware that both Yoo Hye-won and Han Min-ha maintained close ties with Professor Hyun in their own ways.

Certainly, the fact that others had such relationships didn’t dictate that Song Do-yoon should as well.

But she liked Professor Hyun.

She tried to ignore it, but it was now an undeniable fact that she could no longer overlook.

Her heart began to waver shortly after escaping from Gos Hawk’s clutches, and it spiraled beyond control upon recognizing Professor Hyun’s compassionate and upright character.

A man so completely different from her trashy father. A man so perfect as to seem almost mythical.

At first, she told herself “not him” countless times, but now it was getting harder and harder to deny it.

I also want affection from Professor…

But… there’s no place for me.

I’m a latecomer, a somewhat sinister lesbian, while those three have been intertwined right from the start.

If I were to intrude, it’d only make things difficult for everyone, starting with Professor.

And I… I lack confidence to stand alongside Yoo Hye-won and Han Min-ha.

I fall behind them in every way.

Thus, I should simply concentrate on graduating peaceably and worry about earning enough not to starve.

A girl from the slums with a poor spoon should know her place,

especially when she herself isn’t entirely sure what she meant to say to the professor.

Song Do-yoon slowly sat down, hugging her knees.

And as she leaned her shoulder against the door, she quietly eavesdropped on the sounds that emerged from Professor Hyun and Han Min-ha’s mingling.