Chapter 108

Chapter 81 Heart-to-Heart Talk

Since that night at the废塔, I rarely saw Carlos. He seemed even busier, coming to Schintler Castle only once in over a dozen days.

That time, he was still plotting something with the Duke in his study. I could roughly guess that it had something to do with the Gate of Truth and the Royal Family of the Frost Moon.

What was different this time was that after he came out of the study, he didn’t leave immediately but specifically found me who was reading in my room.

“Hey, little Hill.”

He greeted me casually, and I rolled my eyes at him before reaching out my hand.

Tap.

Very much in sync, a sweet treat wrapped in parchment appeared in my hand.

I smiled contentedly, thinking it was best to just get along with him.

“What’s up?”

“Your matter.”

Carlos didn’t stand on ceremony and plopped himself down on my large bed. I immediately glared at him.

“Get up! Your clothes are dusty.”

I reached out to pull him up, but unexpectedly, this guy had thick skin and stubbornly refused to budge.

“How’s life here?”

“It’s none of your business! Get up!”

“Let’s talk seriously.” Carlos looked at me with a serious expression, suddenly shedding his lazy demeanor, which really took me by surprise, “Do you remember when we first met, that girl Peyelo? I never thought you were her.”

Mentioning this made me angry.

“Do you have any shame!” I glared at him immediately, “Back then, I asked you. You were so close to the Duke, yet you didn’t know the name of his daughter!”

This time, it was Carlos’s turn to roll his eyes.

“For heaven’s sake, I rarely came to Schintler Castle before. The familiarity with the Duke was due to our camaraderie as comrades. That guy treated me like a thief, how could he let me meet his daughter!”

I was taken aback by his words.

Then I felt I had seized an important point, my eyes narrowing into a crescent moon as I smirked slyly at him.

“Why would he treat you like a thief?”

Seemingly unprepared for my angle, Carlos was momentarily stunned.

“Focus on the main point, what are we discussing?”

Trying to change the subject?

I immediately started pulling at his face, “Tell me! What did you do before!”

No matter how much I tormented him, he remained silent. So, I got angry.

“Get out!”

“On what grounds?”

My nose twitched in anger.

“This is my room!”

“Are you Peyelo?”

“I am!”

“Are you really?”

“Yes, now get out!”

“On what basis do you think you are?”

“It’s none of your business.”

“Talk properly.”

“I remember some things.”

“…”

Carlos fell into deep thought, his expression suddenly turning serious.

“…What’s wrong?”

“Oh no.” He looked at me with a grave expression, “Little Hill, have you ever thought that if you really are Peyelo… what exactly is the Abyss?”

“…”

Of course, I had thought about this question.

At first, I thought Peyelo had fallen off a cliff, and maybe there was an abyss below, so she might have been absorbed or assimilated… This possibility was very high. Although I couldn’t understand the principle behind it, nor how the Abyss devoured people, and then why I appeared in another country three years later.

Many things didn’t make sense, but the logic should be correct. I always believed this until that time I played the piano and saw the aftermath of the fall.

It was really a fall. On the brink of death, all I saw was snow and endless darkness, not the Abyss.

I wasn’t swallowed by the Abyss at that time. Judging from the situation that night, it was highly likely that I had died once back then.

So, how did I become the Abyss?

The only clue was the last thing I saw before losing consciousness.

Light slowly emerged from the darkness.

I didn’t know what it was. My vision had already become quite blurred by then, and even my consciousness was fuzzy. I couldn’t tell whether that sliver of light existed in reality or if it was just a hallucination at the end.

If my memory was accurate, that night I had fallen off a cliff, which was why I hadn’t died immediately. But there were cliffs above and below me; it was impossible for anyone to save me unless they could fly.

Is there someone who can fly in this world?

The Duke told me there was.

Those with an affinity for the Order of Wind could achieve it, but he also said such people were very rare. According to him, there were only two: one was the Sword Saint, and the other was Queen Elizabeth of the Order City. Neither of these two were in the Valen Empire, making the possibility of my being saved almost zero.

So, I must have died once. Or rather, the consciousness in this body had died once before.

Later, for some unknown reason, I became the Abyss three years later.

As for this period, my memories are blank so far. But I think it must be a complicated story.

I will find the truth, but for now, I still know nothing.

“I don’t know.”

That’s all I could tell Carlos.

“Can you tell me roughly what you remember?”

“Mm-hm.”

I trust this man in front of me almost completely, so there’s nothing I can’t say to him.

Mm… I take back what I said earlier. I’ll never let anyone know about my bladder issue, even if I die.

It would be too embarrassing.

So, I told him all the details I could recall, fragment by fragment. It took us nearly an hour, but Carlos listened patiently.

“So, you really are Peylo.”

“Mm-hm.”

“No wonder Edward’s body ended up like that… Do you hate him?”

“Yes.”

There’s no point in lying.

But suddenly, another thought came to mind.

“…That day, my state wasn’t right.”

Yes, this is something I’ve been thinking about recently.

When I was torturing Edward, at first it was purely out of revenge and anger at the soul that had faded away because of his desire for power. That was all.

But later… I tasted the joy of hunting living beings.

Or perhaps, the joy of controlling others’ lives. The feeling of watching Edward scream in agony, his fear, anxiety, frustration, and so on, all mixed together, staring at me intently, waiting to see where my next strike would land. That made me feel genuinely happy, extremely delighted.

Even now, I can still vividly recall those feelings. Thinking about this makes my scalp tingle… Why did I think that way?

If Lafayette hadn’t given him the fatal two strikes at the end, I probably… I don’t know what would have happened.

This isn’t me.

I know myself well. I’m not that kind of person, neither in my memories as Peylo nor in my current life as Chen Yuxuan.

I wanted to tell Carlos all of this, but when the words reached my lips, for some reason, they turned into: “No, it’s nothing. Just, not feeling quite right.”

Carlos rubbed my head.

“Even if you hate someone, you still can’t bring yourself to kill them?” He laughed, “You, as an Abyss, don’t have much dignity, do you?”

I pushed him with my head, huffing.

“You’re the one with no dignity.”

But this wasn’t hard, and after I pushed him, I realized—it’s like I’m being spoiled.

This doesn’t fit my image at all.

My cheeks flushed slightly.

Carlos, however, didn’t seem to mind and continued laughing.

“But still, I really like this kind of Abyss.”

…Uh, I don’t need your approval… Just dessert would be enough.