Chapter 105

[World of Arseria Gallery – General]

[Today, No Name is broadcasting, so I broke all my promises to come here.]

Dating with my current girlfriend in the park? A movie date with crush 1? A motel date with crush 2?

Forget all that, only true fans who gaze at No Name with unwavering devotion are highly recommended, lol.

-What the hell.

-Is No Name streaming today?

-It’s Sunday morning, so if you’re a true fan, you’re probably still sleeping in a motel instead of being on the gallery, idiot.

└ You’ve posted over 10,000 times in the gallery; how are you not a loser? Almost said it!

└ That’s so empty~ (The author’s mother is laughing)

└ hahahahahahaha

└ hahahahaha

└ (Author) I will definitely sue you.

[Concept Post]

[Gallery Owner Opinion Test] [179]

The eternal cat of the gallery, the lovely Adella, is the true owner of the gallery – highly recommended.

No, I think the real gallery owner is No Name, who’s just a new streamer with no sense of scheduling – not recommended.

[Recommended] 107 [Not Recommended] 540

-The recommended count is 107, but how come the viewer count barely has 4?

└ That’s not rigged; I’ve pressed recommend 30 times.

└ That is rigged, lol.

-You’ve only seen Adella through her broadcasts, haven’t you?

└ How disliked she is in Nightmare, damn it, lol.

-No Name will finally make her grand entrance, right?

└ If you ditch Adella, it’s totally possible.

-There’s no league matches, so we’re just talking about streamers; it’s better to talk about the World Cup instead.

└ That’s completely off!

└ You little kid…

The day No Name promised to clear the hidden route of World of Arseria had come.

However, she wasn’t the only one waiting.

[Streamer Gallery]

[Concept Post]

[Reasons Why No Name Has the Potential to Become a Big Company.txt] [202]

Kariri (Average Viewers 16,956) vs No Name (Average Viewers 1,634)

1. Is she female? Both are yes.

2. Is she good at games?

Kariri is stuck in Bronze/Silver regardless of the game, lol. At least she manages to dip her toes into Platinum in World of Arseria.

On the other hand, No Name? A top-tier basement dweller with over 80,000 games played in League of Legends, starting from the highest difficulty in World of Arseria. She’s basically a pro gamer, no joke.

No Name 1 win.

3. Communication

Is Kariri just getting more annoying these days? Just watching her makes me feel bad, so I turned it off.

No Name, however, is a true Cinderella who needs to sleep at midnight, yet she forces herself to stream for an hour while rubbing her eyes.

(No Name yawning.gif)

No Name 1 win.

Thus, it stands at No Name’s 2 wins and 1 draw. Kariri’s execution.

[Recommended] 170 [Not Recommended] 244

-Why are there so many recommendations for such a pointless post?

└ There goes the bee queen chic, arriving first.

└ Looks like Kariri lost her original intention and it has finally burst.

-Execution? What type of nonsense is that, lol.

└ No mercy, judge, lol.

-Did Kariri really have that many average viewers?

└ Always in the top ten.

└ It’s disgusting that Kariri gets to be protected just because she’s managed to set up one concept well.

└ During her prime, she was incredible at getting the first hit, but now she’s just lost it all.

-No Name yawning is so cute, lol.

└ Make sure to check the angle; she could really be a minor.

└ Can’t even say she’s cute?

[No Name has early streaming!]

But why is she playing League rather than World of Arseria?

-????

-What’s going on here?

Popularity breeds more popularity, they say.

[TK Pathos hosted 22,851 people!]

-I’m totally hyped!

-Let’s invade~ Let’s invade~

-20,000 people, wow!

-King of Diamonds! King of Diamonds! King of Diamonds! King of Diamonds!

[Selected as a rapidly rising star streamer. 1st No Name 2nd…]

-No Name! No Name! No Name! No Name! No Name! No Name! No Name! No Name!

-Mom, I want to be No Name when I grow up! Mom, I want to be No Name when I grow up! Mom, I want to be No Name when I grow up!

-Save Adella! Save Adella! Save Adella! Save Adella!

With waterfalls, torrential rain, or any natural phenomenon, there was an overwhelming amount of text flooding in.

Over 20,000 people were focused on me all at once.

Their text wrapped around my neck like living clumps of protein, arms, and hands.

I felt like I was choking.

What I wanted to scream in my final moments came out as a short sigh.

“Ah…”

Before my brain could comprehend the situation objectively, my hands moved quickly.

I turned off the camera broadcasting my face and hid behind the voice people disliked.

[Dating Circulation (Cover – Kariri)]

-186 million views · 3 years ago

-Let’s get started with the opening song~

-I like this!

-Kaririing~ Come on over! Kaririing~ Come on over! Kaririing~ Come on over! Kaririing~ Come on over!

-It’s heartwarming, isn’t it? Is this what they call fondness?

[‘Kariri’s Wand’ donated 100,000 won!]

-Kariri Punch!

Donations came in, but I couldn’t respond. My mouth wouldn’t open.

Why? Why?

[‘realm’ donated 30,000 won!]

-Here’s the chicken money that Pathos stole!

Thank you. I have to offer a formal greeting.

I flapped my lips like a fish in a tank, but even if I squeezed my vocal cords, no sound came out.

In a situation where my brain felt like it would burn to ashes, the only thing I could think of was the ‘end broadcast’ button.

I didn’t even need my fingers.

With just a glance, I could send these 25,000 people off into the universe. But I didn’t.

“Hah… Hah…”

It felt like someone had peeled back my skin and was squeezing my heart with both hands, making it hard to breathe.

At some point, even the text became invisible. My vision was engulfed in absolute darkness, though my eyes were still open.

[Witch]

[Cursed]

[Die]

[Die]

Was it because the fire rising from my feet was burning my eyes first?

Even with the smell of flesh burning vividly around me, an intense chill ran through my body.

[‘Pathos’ donated 300,000 won!]

-What did I steal? How did my simple gift please you? Of course, I remembered the chicken money, too! Please keep streaming!

* * *

I was scared.

Everything I felt was terrifying.

I didn’t know what the sun was. The only light I ever saw was the flicker of the LED light just before it died.

But I knew why the sun sets, why the wind changes direction, and why the coolness makes my skin crawl with goosebumps. I was frightened.

I also knew that Seol-a was my mother before she even told me.

If she weren’t my mother, what reason would she have to hold her breath and cry every night, to pull her hair out while gently patting my back with trembling hands to keep me from waking up?

It was the only natural logic I could think.

I don’t need toys.

Because I already knew the logic of most things.

It was obvious why a star-shaped piece of plastic only fits in the star-shaped hole.

Because a child’s strength cannot overcome the electromagnetic repulsion between the plastics.

Even if I didn’t initially understand what each word meant, I quickly realized as if someone had forcefully hammered it into my head.

Child, strength, plastic, repulsion.

I didn’t want to know those things.

I wanted to know why my mom couldn’t be with me.

I wanted to run to her right now and bury my head in the chest of a woman much larger than me, to cry non-stop.

I’m so scared. Why is my body like this? What the hell is this memory?

But the logic wouldn’t leave me alone.

Maybe it was because I realized that only Seol-a would get hurt.

The young and cunning name had an innocent face like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

I really knew why my body was like this.

Because I had already gone through the same experience in my past life, so accepting it again wasn’t difficult at all.

But… but…

My heart wouldn’t calm down.

I had ‘known’ that all commands are made in the brain, so why was my heart rebelling against this, disobeying the commands?

It seems it was no wonder that ancient people mistook emotions for being housed in the heart.

All my emotions raged against the command to endure and keep it together, and my heart longed to escape.

I thought it would have been better if my heart just exploded right now.

I was afraid of becoming an adult.

If enduring and constantly having to endure is an ‘adult’s logic,’ then I don’t want to be an adult.

Even though I don’t understand the words, desperately ignoring anyone who insults me, suppressing the desire to win the game, repeating the same quests like a mechanical hamster is my task. My goal. The rationale of life and logic.

Some days, there are days.

Days when I want to throw everything away and die.

On such days, I asked the princess who lived for me. How can you be so stoic?

I couldn’t imagine going through, let alone experiencing, terrifying deaths like she did.

Getting torn apart, burned all over, losing my life at the hands of my beloved friend; despite those tragedies, she remained strong.

The return answer was surprisingly simple.

“The truth is you want to live too.”

Indeed. She knew, understood, and empathized with every single one of my feelings.

She, as an adult, never scolded me for being a child.

My complicated emotions began to dissolve.

I declared to all the travelers of the battlefield trying to seize my heart in the same way.

“The truth is I also want to live.”

For a long time, I thought I was just a wooden puppet whose every desire was controlled.

But ‘I’ fought only for ‘myself,’ got angry for ‘myself,’ and sometimes even cried together.

Yes, I am a being with desires, a person.

I want to live, eat, socialize, and I have dreams.

So, if I could escape with the princess from here, I often fell asleep imagining all the things I would do, but…

At some point, the princess was no longer visible.

I, who aimed to escape, gradually grew weary, and with my shriveled brain not receiving enough nutrients, I forgot everything except for the purpose of ‘escaping.’

Death is a fear ingrained in instinct.

No matter how many times I’ve died, the fear of death never disappears.

The slow tightening grip was essentially no different from the infuriated mob that tied me to the pyre.

“Huh… sniff…”

-?

-?

-? What’s going on?

-???

-Are you crying?

“It was scary… The entire time I’ve lived… Whether I’m on the right path… Whether I did something wrong again.”

I felt an extreme fear at every little mistake.

I couldn’t shake off the delusion that if even one of the 20,000 judging me threw an X my way, I would be beheaded right there.

Sometimes I couldn’t shake off the crushing fear that would visit me intensely.

“People are scary… all of you… Just watching is so scary…”

In truth, internet broadcasting was completely unsuitable for me.

What age are we in that the only easy way to make money is through broadcasting?

-Pathos, take responsibility.

-Take responsibility.

-You’ve made the kid cry;;

-It was really harsh.

-It could be a one-on-one.

-That was real bad; I didn’t see it like that.

Maybe I had fallen into a fragmented mindset?

[‘Pathos’ donated 100,000 won!]

-No;; Uh… Are you okay? I apologize for my presumptuous behavior…

That can’t be right.

The reason was always known. I just never realized it.

As the chat calmed down, my heart also quieted down.

Suddenly, my gaze was drawn to the chat window.

[Legacy of Legends – A Warmth Yearning for Someone (Chat off)]

[Broadcast Time – 0:48:35]

[Viewer Count – 25,017]

No matter how much one was scalded by people’s malice, no one could survive a winter night without a campfire.

Beyond the fear of confronting people’s malice, I desperately longed for their warmth.

-Don’t cry

-Pat

-ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

-Don’t cry

-Pat

-Pat

-ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

See? They aren’t providing any real comfort, pretending it’s consolation.

But thanks to this, my mind turns white, and my heart gets touched.

I barely hold back a laugh and, clearing my voice, I appealed in a calm tone.

“I… Huh…”

The 15,000 viewers all eagerly waited for me to continue.

In stark contrast to the ministers in the court, who would interrupt me at every word.

“Honestly, I really hated humans.”

-Suddenly?

-All humans should die.

-Lol.

-Why hated them?

-Just because it seems that way, don’t question it!

-Oh, did you have bad experiences with people?

“Looking back, I’ve been alone for a long time… for a really long time. I never wanted to be alone… but as I lived, I became alone.”

-We’re the same, ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

-I’m watching this broadcast from my small room right now.

-Suddenly, 20,000 LoL fans are sobbing ㅜㅜ.

-Then did you only play games for seven years…?

-You can’t do that unless you’re a hikikomori.

-Something feels sentimental…

-I was bullied too and locked in my room for three years; I understand.

“The reason I started broadcasting. It’s obvious, but I needed money.”

That’s how it began.

“But the warmth of all of you felt wonderful. From the silly expressions you make when I teach you magic, to the cheers you send when I reach Master, and even the warm-heartedness you express towards Adella…”

Like a girl who can’t stop striking matches, I kept overusing magic to keep feeling that warmth.

“So I admitted it to myself. I’ll be honest. I like being the center of attention. I enjoy the time spent together. I want to keep meeting many people who lift me up, who are insignificant like me.”

In the end, the reason to make money was just a side excuse.

I liked how people paid attention to every line, every action, and every habit of mine.

But it was always because I was afraid I’d soon fall apart if I didn’t have some excuse, so I always prepared one.

[The Korean Magic Corporation has sent an invoice to ■■■. Please pay it by the due date.

– Invoice Purpose: Wandry (5) -Alchemist- Spell Writing

– Invoice Amount: 12,385,021 won

– Payment Due: 2051/06/25

For inquiries regarding the invoice, please contact the billing company. +See More]

“Do you see? I wanted to see all of you for a long time, so I relied on debt and forced myself to use magic. Ten million, no, maybe twenty million now. I’ll have to stream to repay it.”

-????

-The story suddenly took a weird turn.

-That’s no backing down, lol.

-This is a crazy person!!! lol.

-What spells do you even cast that so much comes out?

“I won’t stop streaming until I pay off all my debts. I will exploit and extort your time and money.”

The malicious troll No Name is just that kind of person. Selfish only thinking of herself.

“So please, I urge you all to use me to the fullest. Whether you entertain yourself with me or find satisfaction through me, I just want you to stay by my side until the end.”

[‘Dayaonsan High Performance Cute Girl AI’ donated 30,000 won!]

-Let’s also change the broadcast title and suck out the broth for a while, lol.

Yeah. If the game I play changes, I should change the title too.

It didn’t take long to decide the title.

Just being honest.

[No Name]

[World of Arseria – Doing a stream because I have no money for mana]

[Broadcast Time – 0:56:35]

[Viewer Count – 25,817]