Chapter 103

Day 4 of the Hunting Festival.

The uncomfortable and suffocating feeling just wouldn’t go away. That irritating sensation, like something tickling my chest, made it hard to sleep properly. If I had just let it slide without saying anything, I probably wouldn’t have been tossing and turning like this.

I didn’t expect the wise Countess to disturb my sleep over something that couldn’t be changed.

“You don’t look so good today. Did something happen yesterday?”

“I heard some hollow words, so I’m not in a good mood.”

“Hollow words?”

“…Just foolish words with no substance. The kind that makes your stomach churn just hearing them.”

“I don’t know the details, but it seems your mother got under your skin again.”

“She doesn’t consider the listener’s feelings at all, so it’s bound to be annoying.”

“…I don’t think that’s something you should be saying.”

Camilla started poking my cheeks as if teasing me.

Those trivial physical contacts, even if just a little, helped ease my mood.

It seems I’ve become a shallow person who now values the bonds of family and the time spent together more than anything else, but I didn’t feel any shame about it.

No matter how much I whip myself now, I can’t feel pain from ordinary things anymore. Thanks to the whipping I endured for others’ amusement, layer upon layer of calluses have formed.

Such trivial things can’t even bring about small changes, let alone shame.

“By the way, this is rare. You suggesting we do something other than hunting.”

“You looked so down, so I thought we could go horseback riding together.”

“…It reminds me of Cavalry Captain Kiharo. He was a good man during the war who always tried to cheer me up by riding together. He said there’s nothing better than the wind blowing while riding a horse.”

“Hey, can you not bring up the guy who died taking an arrow for you while trying to cheer you up?”

“Death feels closer to me now than life, so talking about the dead makes more sense than the living.”

It’s not something to boast about, but my comrades from those days still appear in my dreams, blaming me. The dreams I have about once a week always leave me feeling ashamed.

They ask why I’m still alive when they’re dead, saying things they would never have said.

Yes, they would never have said such things. At least, I believe so, but that fact still wounds me. Even if it’s just a phantom, it has more impact than the words of the Countess, who has a real presence.

‘Raul… You are the Empire’s hope… Not just a mere horse handler… You must live…’

‘Why are you still alive! We died so miserably, so why are you still breathing!’

‘Raul… The King of Specters is our fight. It’s too much for you to fight in your condition. Go to the rear and recover. We’ll follow soon.’

‘Why aren’t you following us? We died for you.’

‘Raul… Please be happy…’

‘Raul, why are you abandoning us? Shouldn’t you die miserably like we did to make it fair?’

Even though I know they would never say such things, my mood couldn’t help but sink.

“Alright, enough of the heavy talk. I asked Asel to bring some horses for riding, so soon…”

“There you are. I can’t believe you’d make the Emperor fetch horses. How much did the young lady drink to have the guts for that? And is that the drunkard’s lover next to her?”

His Majesty, as always, teased us with a playful voice.

“…Asel, if you ruin the mood too, I might really get drunk and start dancing with a sword.”

“My, my. It seems the former Count has already set the tone. You should’ve left some for me. Truly, you’re all a bunch of traitors.”

However, His Majesty only brought one horse. The sleek white horse looked like it could carry two, but an unmarried man and woman couldn’t ride the same horse.

“…There’s only one horse.”

“Raul. Your horse is on its way. But it’s such a troublesome beast that seven muscular men are dragging it here with chains.”

Hearing that, Camilla’s expression visibly twisted. And I couldn’t help but smirk a little.

“Is that my beloved horse?”

“Did you really bring that monster here?”

A hundred words can’t compare to seeing it once. The answer to our question wasn’t from His Majesty but from the sight of men sweating profusely as they dragged the horse over.

“Damn it, what kind of horse…!”

The creature, upon seeing my face, pushed the men aside and charged at me.

“Krrrrrr!!!!”

“That’s my horse.”

“What kind of horse goes ‘krrrrr’ like that, you lunatic…”

“It looks like a horse, though.”

“Yeah. But what kind of horse is over 2 meters tall? This thing’s a monster, isn’t it?”

“Krrrrrrr!!!!”

My horse, offended by being called a monster, bared its fangs at Camilla.

The white fangs peeking through its black body were almost beautiful.

“This monster… Hey, what kind of horse has fangs!”

“Even humans have differences in teeth, don’t they?”

“And what’s this monster’s favorite food? Does it drink alcohol and tear into meat…!”

“Dietary preferences vary from person to person. Why should horses be any different?”

“You crazy bastard! And what’s with the mane made of tentacles with venomous spikes!”

“Even humans, if they go bald, wear wigs made of hair that isn’t theirs. It’s the same principle.”

His Majesty started laughing so hard he clutched his stomach, and Camilla, as she always did when I defended my horse, grabbed her head in frustration.

“…And.”

I tried to keep my gloomy voice in check as I revealed the real reason.

“Being born with a strange mane, liking meat, having odd cries and fangs—none of that is this horse’s fault. There’s no reason to shun it.”

“…I guess I was being narrow-minded.”

“Yeah.”

I climbed onto the horse and patted its head.

“Catherine would surely understand.”

“Raul. Even I think naming that vicious beast after our Empire’s first Empress was a bit over the line.”

“Yeah, the problem isn’t the horse but your naming sense. This thing clearly suits names like ‘Ruin,’ ‘Black Death,’ or ‘Dark King.'”

Then Catherine lifted her right front hoof.

The five-pronged hoof, except for the center, slightly curled.

“This damn monster…”

Camilla, about to swing her spear, took a deep breath and put it away.

“I really need to stop reaching for my spear first… I was supposed to live as a dignified lady…”

“Puhahahahaha!!!!”

Catherine burst into laughter, and His Majesty had to desperately stop Camilla from swinging her spear.

“…How delightful.”

I can’t help but think how much of a blessing it is to die in such a scene from the past.

As I rode through the forest with Camilla, my mood started to improve.

“…Can I ask you something?”

“What is it?”

“Why did you go to that countryside? There are plenty of famous resorts.”

“…I just wanted to breathe freely. And the stench of corruption from those famous resorts would only hinder my breathing. That’s all.”

It started with just that reason, but…

“Now, I’m not so sure. Since you came, it’s been noisy, but I still like the tranquility of that village.”

The village’s incidents were nothing more than personal disputes among the residents.

The old man who shared bread with me, Cecilia, the merchant who dislikes me but is precise in his dealings—they all felt like small sardines swimming in a tank.

Not the sharks or ornamental fish in a grand aquarium, but the sardines in a humble tank. And now, I liked swimming alongside them.

“Even if I could live a more extravagant life, I’d choose to stay there.”

“…I see. You’ve changed a lot.”

Even if I’m a small-minded man satisfied with such things, it’s the truth.

“Then I’ll have to protect you and that village so no one can touch it.”

It was hard to believe those words came from the battle-crazed Camilla.

Yet, the resonance of those words reached my heart.

My heart started beating faster. It was hard to believe it had been moving so weakly, like it was dead.

“Camilla, I…”

At that moment, a sharp yet clear voice drowned out mine.

“Raul…!”

“Rosie…?”

I never expected her to come looking for me.

After all, our relationship was severed through the annulment.

Before it was announced, I fooled around with Camilla a bit, causing her some shame.

She’s someone who hates me. With all ties cut, she’d ignore me until death. There’s no reason for her to come see me like this.

“I have something to say to you.”

“…I thought such things no longer existed, Lady Rosie Nevermore.”

“I still have it.”

“I can’t understand why you’re doing this. Our relationship is already over. Whatever I do, you have no right to interfere.”

“…I do. I still have the right to interfere with you.”

Rosie asserted her right and approached me…

Only to be kicked by Catherine and fall backward.

“…I forgot to warn you about the danger.”

“I want to interfere. I want to confirm something. If it’s true…!”

“What meaning would that have now, Lady Nevermore?”

I tried to leave her behind, but Rosie kept following me.

“…Hey.”

This time, it wasn’t Catherine but Camilla who stopped Rosie.

“Get lost before I kill you. From now on, it’s my time.”