The serene atmosphere felt so good. I simply liked it.
Inside it, I enjoyed the noise that followed whenever I did something. I liked how the flow of air changed and how actions caused results.
I liked that something changed because of me, and that something began because of me.
I liked feeling alive.
It was thrilling.
That’s why this hallway was enough for me to feel comfortable.
Only the sound of small footsteps broke the silence, and my breathing disturbed the flow of air.
“It’s a good time since it’s the harvest season. Everything is fresh. It’s also a good time for extraction, so many customers come.”
As I walked ahead in the black hallway, a man explained.
“Is smuggling going well?”
“It used to be really strict, and it didn’t go well, but recently there have been many incidents, and they haven’t been monitoring the back roads much, so it’s loosened up. Haha.”
The man took a breath and nodded. His voice trembled slightly.
He paused for a moment and glanced around.
The textured wall caught my eye. Without realizing it, I ran my fingers across it. It felt good.
I also noticed a dim light bulb embedded in the wall.
Rooms were visible here and there, and through slightly opened door cracks, a few people sat in one room with distant looks on their faces, laughing softly.
On the table, something reminiscent of perfume that emitted a scent was present, and scattered powders were seen lying here and there.
I wondered how nice it would be if I could also lose myself to something like that and do nothing.
Why did this damned body have to be stained with murder, of all things?
I would rather be like them. I want to escape reality and crush this mind that isn’t properly intoxicated by drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes.
[How disgusting. What’s so good about that life?]
You might see it that way, Bloody. But I, who live at the absolute bottom mentally, really envy even those things.
The man blinked several times in my gaze.
“Those individuals are also involved in smuggling. There are people staying here, and there are also people who come and go briefly.”
Following along without a reply, the man seemed a bit awkward and scratched his head a few times. Turning the corner, a space wider than the hallway appeared, revealing various kinds of flowers and plants resting on metal shelves.
“This is a space created because sometimes people want to see the materials. These are well-known magic power plants like Andergen and Shimau. They’re rare items that are hard to obtain, so it’s worth seeing.”
“I see.”
Sure enough, the shelves accommodating the plants and flowers were small compared to the spacious area. Still, the colorful sight was somewhat pretty as I glanced over.
“Here it is.”
Then, as we crossed into another space, a unique area appeared. There were several shelves, glass doors, glass boxes, and crystals. It was much larger than before. The term “spacious” fits.
The walls were filled with a variety of accessories and perfumes, and there were also packaged items.
Every time I had used this facility so far, I was in a hurry and only received the items without thinking of coming this far; I didn’t know there was such a space inside.
I felt a flicker of gaze on me.
“Please take your time to look around, and once you’ve decided…”
“No.”
From the first time I visited this facility until now, I had only taken the most stimulating items.
“I’ll take that scented candle.”
I pointed to a glass bottle containing purple liquid. That one is the cheapest.
“Um… payment…”
“It’s fine, it’s fine, sir! I’ll just give it to you. Haha…”
Is he going to wave his hands dismissively?
“I have plenty of money. Are you ignoring me?”
“No! Absolutely not! Never!”
“Then what?”
The man hesitated, his gaze wandering here and there.
Well, he did act well to some extent. He tried not to show it, but my body could catch the emotions people exhibit all too well, and his voice trembled quite a bit. His body was also stiff. It started from our first meeting.
“Am I scary?”
“Ah, no. Haha…”
“Not scary?”
He tilted his head.
“Ah, w-well, haha…”
He lost his ability to speak. The basic human emotions engulfed his whole body.
I felt envious. Suddenly, that thought crossed my mind.
[Stop bothering me. Don’t you feel sorry?]
“You said this place was disgusting earlier, didn’t you?”
[That was about this facility and those addicted to drugs. …But thinking back, the race that sells such things seems disgusting too.]
The man trembled.
I smiled softly and pointed to the scented candle next to me.
“Please wrap that and this one too.”
“Ah, yes!”
The man, shaking, handed me the scented candle wrapped in a bag. As I took it gently, a voice reached my ears.
“Um…”
“What is it?”
“The one you chose is pretty strong… side effects…”
“It doesn’t matter.”
This is my 89th visit.
Every day, I choose something strong and test it out.
These perfumes are items I’m testing for the 178th time.
I actually knew.
Dramatic changes don’t happen.
Fate has always been like that for me.
I walked for a moment and looked up at the night sky.
The yellow moon briefly illuminated the ground where I walked, then vanished.
The streetlights remained. They flickered and then abruptly turned off.
It was a quiet and calm street. There wasn’t much light, but it wasn’t too little either.
Just right.
I felt the wind. A blood-colored wind.
[That man earlier was a bit different, huh?]
“What do you mean?”
[The way he treated you. Other humans trembled as if something was broken, didn’t they? That man was the calmest.]
“Well, it didn’t show much.”
Perhaps, running such a building means you’ll meet countless awakened ones from the underground world. It’s not unreasonable to consider it a job-related chronic issue.
[The moon is bright.]
“Indeed.”
I took a moment to breathe and looked at the sky. My heart pounded harder than usual, pressing tightly against my chest.
[Tonight’s dinner…]
“I already ate, Bloody.”
[Oh right, I see.]
My vision turned red before clearing up again. I took a drag from my cigarette. I pulled out a handkerchief to wipe my hands.
[What about tomorrow…]
“Bloody. It’s okay.”
You don’t have to try to turn those circuits of thought. It’s okay not to try to capture my gaze.
You don’t have to worry about me; I’m fine.
I faced reality once more. I opened my eyes and looked down.
The result was always the same. It hung there, motionless.
I grabbed the arm of a woman who had just finished a groan and pulled her into an alley. I took another drag of the cigarette and exhaled. The sparse smoke decorated the sky.
“Ha… ha…”
[Well done. Orli. Good job.]
Yeah, one by one, right? You did well. You did a good job, huh. The two women who ran away down this road were let go, and I only craved one heart.
I’m different from my past self. Yeah, so it’s okay. My mindset has changed compared to three weeks ago when I first went out, solely living for the thirst for blood.
I will be a human with reason, not a monster.
I waved my hand and blew my core into the magic circle created by Bloody. A red light burst forth from the dark alley, creating a golden area.
The surrounding forces were always on guard, but due to my brain, which had momentarily stopped functioning, I had to disappear quickly.
“······.”
What’s the point anyway? If the forces come, I’ll just kill again. I’m not scared at all. It doesn’t matter.
In fact, I wish I could feel fear. I wish I could fear death, fear horror, fear evil. I want to feel chills throughout my body, shudder and cry desperately before wanting to laugh brightly again.
A life that looks at death, having lost emotions.
It’s utterly disgusting.
I stood firm in the center of the magic circle.
I felt a chilling sensation piercing my body, and my vision faded.
I hurriedly stripped off my clothing and took a breath. The cold air felt nice against my heated body. Is this what they call exhaling?
I took a scented candle from the colorful case and placed it on the table. I turned off the lights in the living room and brought a lighter to the candle. Soon, bright light poured out, illuminating the dark interior.
I pressed the blade against my chest. I cut away the rotten blood and breathed out again.
The pain subsided. My mind became a little foggy.
“Hehe.”
Laughter. Is this laughter? I’m not sure. Perhaps.
The candle burned down. My red vision softened and became clear. I could see in front of me.
[The scent is nice.]
I wonder if the spirit is okay. After all, it’s a drug.
[I don’t care. Don’t worry about it.]
Worry, yes. Don’t worry.
Come to think of it, I wonder if I’ve ever worried about someone.
With the hazy smoke, the scent vibrated. It felt good. It can’t completely erase all the pain in my body, but it definitely serves as a painkiller, just enough for that.
“So… today is…”
I had made a promise with Bloody a few days ago. It’s to recall what I did today and write it down in my notebook. For now, since my body is tired, I’ll just recite it out loud.
“In the morning, I woke up… and ate. I went out for a bit… then came back… bought a scented candle…”
That’s enough.
“And… and…”
Yeah, let’s stop thinking.
That’s enough progress. Orli. The pain has subsided, and I can manage my mental illness a bit.
[You did well. Really.]
Thank you. I’m happy.
I closed my eyes for a moment.
My consciousness faded and finally cut off.
#
It’s dawn.
A morning-like dawn. The sun is just rising, and the pale blue sky is visible.
And I feel a strong aroma of magic.
A family house, focusing through the window, I distorted it. I can now see far away.
A small purple crack is visible.
It’s a sign of a gate.
