“Remia Adelian… Adelian?”
“…Yes.”
The professor, in the middle of calling attendance, adjusts his glasses for a moment.
He seems surprised by the name Adelian.
After all, it’s a family that’s been ruined for years.
I answered as quietly as possible, trying not to draw attention.
Even so, unnecessary attention focused on me in an instant.
Curiosity, interest, and hostility.
So, this is how it ends up.
I sighed inwardly and lowered my eyes.
Unaccustomed to the gaze, no.
My body, which has always been hurt after being the center of attention, naturally reacts with defense mechanisms.
I tightly gripped my left wrist to control the trembling that started to spread.
Even after the class started, the occasional glances towards me didn’t stop.
I abandoned any thought of absorbing the lesson’s content and just wished for this time to pass quickly.
Please, let no one approach me.
I decline any goodwill.
I especially don’t want any malice.
I no longer have the body or mind to form relationships with people.
I’ll just breathe like a ghost until my last day and then disappear.
Please, don’t pay any attention to me.
But, as if to mock my prayers.
“Adelian, is it really that Adelian?”
“What, your face has changed a lot. Princess, do you remember me? From your 12th birthday.”
“I thought you might have died on the streets, but I guess you’re still breathing.”
“Princess… oh, not anymore. If it’s this woman, she must have sold her body to survive.”
“……”
As soon as the class ended, people gathered around my seat.
Half were nobles with bad blood with Remia, and the other half seemed to be commoners with resentment towards nobles.
Mockery filled with hostility poured from all around.
I didn’t even have the will to respond.
I hate this. I hate it.
Please, just leave me alone.
I haven’t done anything.
Really, I haven’t done anything.
It wasn’t me who did it…
As I kept my head down, the nobles soon left, laughing, back to their seats.
They came to mock the fallen me, not intending to lay a hand on me.
Nobles are such creatures.
They pick at others’ flaws with words, disgusted by the idea of getting physical as it’s beneath their dignity.
So, I could endure their verbal hostility.
But, the other half was different.
“Give… give my mom back.”
“Hah, now that your noble head is down, you’re no different from us.”
“If your family is ruined… we don’t have to worry about retaliation, right?”
“Probably not? Other nobles don’t seem likely to help either.”
“Then.”
“Let’s do it.”
“Yeah, okay.”
Ah.
I’m scared.
Scared. Scared.
Commoners with dead eyes formed a group and surrounded me.
The nobles are laughing at this scene from afar, and the professor has no intention of helping ‘Adelian.’
Then, what I’m about to face is all too clear.
Slap–!!
The first woman who stepped forward slapped me.
My head turned to the side, and my cheek burned as if on fire.
Whether it was the force of the slap or my body being weaker than I thought, my mouth bled, and my head buzzed.
Even I, who had grown accustomed to pain over the years, let out a groan from the shocking impact.
And without a moment to catch my breath, the next one came.
“Ugh…!?”
A man on my right grabbed my shoulder, pulled me, and kneed me in the stomach.
A pain on a different level from before surged through me.
My legs gave out, and I collapsed to the ground, retching.
“Ugh… Keugh…”
With nothing in my stomach, only yellow bile came up.
“Hic… Hoo…”
“She’s reacting less than I thought.”
“Maybe because we’re doing it one by one? Let’s all do it together.”
“…Ahaha.”
The group looked down at me, exchanging ominous words.
I could only smile resignedly as I was trampled under their feet.
***
After finishing my duties, I dragged my battered body back to my new home.
The Academy Dormitory.
Designed exclusively for nobles, this place was different from the 6-person or 4-person dorms I had seen in reality.
Each person had their own private room, equipped with a plush bed, table, sofa, and even a bathroom, making it practically a hotel.
The floor, always kept spotless by the maids, was now dripping with fluids from my body.
Bruises in red and blue were visible on my neck, arms, and cheeks, not covered by my clothes.
My lips were split and scabbed, and the whites of my left eye had turned red, possibly due to a burst blood vessel.
The continuous vomiting from the focused blows to my stomach left a sour and metallic taste in my mouth, making me nauseous.
Somewhere on my body, hidden by my clothes, must have been wounded, as my white uniform was slowly soaking red.
In one sentence, I returned to the dormitory as a complete wreck.
Trying to walk straight, but my body, wracked with pain, could only stagger.
Receiving all the unwanted gazes in the hallway.
“…Ha.”
It’s worse than I imagined.
I didn’t think coming to the Academy would magically solve all my problems.
But I never expected to face such vicious school violence.
I let out a bitter laugh and collapsed onto the plush bed.
My dirty blood and fluids stained the pristine white sheets.
From my prone position, I slowly turned over to lie on my back, looking at the ceiling.
Even such a simple movement made my whole body scream in pain.
What will happen if they keep beating me like this?
Groaning, I couldn’t help but laugh at my own situation.
I took a deep breath and stretched my hand towards the sky.
My pale, slender forearm and hand, bruised in various shades, came into view.
My trembling arm couldn’t hold out long and fell with a thud.
“…Is this an improvement?”
I gazed at the swaying chandelier on the ceiling, lost in thought.
I know nothing about this world.
Neither a common novel possession nor a creative work I’ve seen somewhere…
It wasn’t intentional.
At some point, I woke up in a world where I didn’t know a single soul.
The sensation of the body owner’s memories mixing with my own was utterly disgusting.
Even the original gender was different, and the body was so pale and thin that it felt like it would break if it bumped into anything. It was ridiculously weak.
My original body wasn’t exactly the picture of health either, but this was on another level.
Remia Adelian.
A girl with social anxiety who was even abandoned by her childhood friend.
The spoiled brat of a duke’s family.
The daughter of a rebel leader appointed by the emperor.
Unfortunately, that’s my name in this world.
I was the daughter of one of the empire’s four great noble families, but by the time I possessed this body, it didn’t matter much.
Because it was already ruined.
Remia’s family was shattered, and her parents abandoned her, selling her off to some shady organization.
Not to become a maid or servant, but to some clearly illegal group.
In that hopeless situation, I woke up, spewing curses while tied up, and caught their attention, only to be thrown into a pitch-black solitary cell.
They said that spirited girls like me would break if left here for a while.
No food, no water, no sound, no people.
Not even time seemed to pass.
It was always dark, so how could I tell if a day or a week had gone by?
When I was on the brink of starvation, a moldy piece of bread would fall from the ceiling.
When I was on the verge of dehydration, a few drops of foul-smelling water would drip down.
In that state, I just sat there, motionless, in that coffin-like space that didn’t even allow me to stretch my legs or sleep comfortably.
I stopped banging on the walls and screaming to be let out when the single piece of bread wasn’t enough, and my arms lost strength.
The murmurs that had been spilling out of me stopped when the few drops of water weren’t enough, and my voice gave out.
The whirlwind of thoughts in my head finally settled when I gave up trying to count seconds by blinking.
It was around that time that the thought of wanting to die came before the thought of wanting to escape.
From then on, I just stared at the ceiling, waiting endlessly for my breath to stop.
After what felt like an eternity, when the door finally opened, I was already half-mad.
Ah, but I guess the survival instinct was still there because I felt a flicker of hope.
But when they saw my expression, they clicked their tongues and closed the door again.
F*ck.
Ah, I shouldn’t use such vulgar language.
A noble should carry dignity even in their thoughts.
Anyway, after repeating that process a few times, my body and mind were completely worn down, and I surrendered to them.
I didn’t even have the will to resist anymore.
If I resisted even a little, I’d be thrown back into that coffin.
Satisfied with my newfound obedience, they moved on to the next step.
Even though the family had fallen, they said that noble blood still flowed in my veins.
In this world, nobility isn’t just about status, it seems.
They said this blood was useful in many ways, so they’d borrow some from me.
Such a refined way of putting it.
Every night, half of my blood was drained.
The extreme anemia left me weak and dizzy.
At this point, fainting from shock wasn’t uncommon, and death was always close.
Of course, they didn’t let me die.
It was at this point that I realized this world was a fantasy.
And that healing magic was useful.
Time passed like that.
During the day, I was forced to get up and have my blood drained like a machine, and at night, I was “educated” in various ways, including being locked back in the solitary cell.
I couldn’t breathe.
My chest tightened.
First, my body broke.
I wanted to die.
I couldn’t die.
Then, my mind broke.
After a few failed suicide attempts, I stopped trying to escape.
Eventually, the abnormal became normal, and I resigned myself to this hellish reality.
“…Academy?”
“Yes. There’s a collaborator among the academy professors. Get the medicine from them.”
“……”
And so, several years passed.
It seems I’m being mobilized to a new workplace again.
This time, it’s the academy.
At least I won’t be locked up again.
Half-listening to the words of the organization member in charge of me, I nodded blankly.
“Once you enter the academy, we can’t contact you. After you get the medicine, come back here on your own to escape.”
“…?”
What pulled my mind back to the surface was the realization that this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
A chance to escape from their grasp, never to return.
A year that wasn’t eternal but also not short.
For an organization, it was surprisingly lax.
It was like they were opening a path for me to run away.
Maybe this was the last mercy God was showing me.
At least letting me die in peace.
I made a decision.
This time, I’ll choose for myself.
I’m sick of being led by the traces the noble girl left behind.
For a year, I’ll live without forming any relationships.
And then, on the day before graduation, I’ll end my life in a place where no one is around.
When the fear of death naturally arose, I turned my thoughts away.
Who knows, maybe if I close my eyes here, I’ll wake up back in reality.
Yes, a nightmare.
What I’m going through now is just a vivid, long nightmare.
So, I’m not running away or dying.
I’m just testing a way to wake up from the nightmare.
I kept repeating that to myself.
But.
“…I don’t know. In a way, maybe that time was better.”
Maybe I’ve completely lost my mind.
Thinking that confinement or torture is better than outright violence.
After being exposed to that environment for years, I must have adapted.
What should I do now?
Expecting to quietly spend a year seems too much to hope for.
It’s laughable that I’m even having such absurd thoughts.
Ah, maybe I should just die today.
That might really be for the best.
